A
female
age
22-25,
*mmajuliee
writes:I'm 15 and I went hiking yesterday with my friend (he lives in another state, but he used to live in the state that I live in so we haven't seen each other in a while so we've been flirting over FaceTime and such) and I was tired so I needed to sit down and then he just kissed me and he used like a lot of tongue and it was super weird bc it was our first time kissing?? and we made out for like 15 seconds and then walked and stopped and made out again and he grabbed my butt (which I don't really care bc it's a butt) and then he went under my shirt and grabbed my boob for like 2 seconds and I had to tell him to stop and he asked why. is it weird to tongue kiss for the first time? it was especially super overwhelming bc it was my first kiss. And I know it's wrong for him to touch my boobs without permission, what should I do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 July 2017):
 It was your first kiss, but the way you describe it, it sounds like you believe there will be more kisses (you said "our" first kiss). I think you believe this is the start of a relationship. Unfortunately, I think this young man was just trying to take advantage of you.
Tell him his behavior was not okay, especially not as you consider him a friend. Tell him if he likes you, he should take you out on a date, and that he is not allowed to grab your butt or your breast without permission. You should tell him this point blank. You are allowed to be angry with him, he was VERY rude.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (2 July 2017):
 I am sorry your first kiss was so uncouth and rude.
He sounds very young and very inexperienced and way too eager. His total lack of finesse is, sadly, not unexpected from one so young (assuming he is of a similar age to you). However, that does not make it right, nor should you just accept behaviour like this.
Are you planning on keeping in contact with him? If so, you need to tell him how unacceptable you found his behaviour and that, if you were to meet up again, you would not expect him to behave in this uncouth and brash way. If he does not understand why you are upset, I would cut contact with him completely because the next time you meet up, he will probably want to go even further.
Please remember, you always have a right to say NO to anything which makes you uncomfortable.
And another please: don't put yourself in situations where you are alone, far from anyone else, with a male. What would have happened if he had insisted on going further? Please stay safe.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): You know what you are comfortable with. You know he went too far. Forgive it once but don't put up with any more of it from him. If he does it again you may have to tell him to get lost and cut off all contact before he will get the message. Some guys are just jerks.
It's part of growing up that you must learn to stand up for yourself at times like this. He will not be the last guy to push you boundaries. Most guys are pretty respectful. But the few real troublemakers are just that, real trouble.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 July 2017):
 Forgot to say...one more thing:
Just because he traveled to see you doesn't entitle him to get sex from you or anything! Do NOT let him pressure you for sex! Do not think that you HAVE to let him stick his tongue down your throat, or have his hands on your butt (YES, a butt is still groping and you don't have to have his hand on it if you don't want it), or up your shirt.
Seriously. NO PRESSURE from him. That's why I'm worried about how much older he is than you. How did he travel to where you are??
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 July 2017):
You should not let him kiss or touch you unless he respects your wishes. You haven't met him until now, and he's already groping and fondling breasts?? Not cool!
How did you meet him?? How old IS he?? Is he over 18?? He lives in another state, but he's now in your state?? Be really careful, because if he's over 18 (especially if he's over 21), you're too young for him, and he can get into some real trouble!
Do not let him touch you again if he can't respect you. Don't be alone with him! I'm not getting a good feeling about this guy, waiting all of mere hours before running his hands all over you and questioning your wishes like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): It's a little late but now you should lay down some rules.
Please tell him how upset you are about it. It is important that he knows this! He really deserved a slap!
Let him know that you are very upset that he touched you in places without your permission; and didn't give you a chance to say no. That is really considered sexual-assault, and he has to know that. Now!!! That is very very serious, and he could end-up in jail just grabbing girls like that.
If he's just a friend, he shouldn't have been making-out with you at all really. He didn't want to give you a chance to say refuse; and reaching under your clothing without permission is a very serious thing. It is considered taking advantage and using subtle force. Guys are not allowed to do that under any circumstances. Tell him that.
Stealing a kiss is one thing. Grabbing and groping a female without permission is against the law!
You probably might feel bad about doing it, but things like that have to be reported. If you can't bring yourself to do that, you have to be very firm with him and inform him that if he ever does it again; you will have to tell your parents and his! You even have the right to press charges.
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