Is my Supervisor in the wrong for telling us about a colleague's mistake?
Q. The other day my supervisor told me and a colleague during a meeting a mistake a co-worker made. This mistake is something that did not affect me or my other colleague whatsoever. Was this appropriate? I just feel if he was attempting to tell us the ...
A. 7 October 2017: I had a supervisor who did that sort of thing. He did not last very long, and his departure from the company wasn't voluntary at all. You're absolutely right in your assessment that if he's gossiping about mistakes other employees have made, he'd ... (read in full...)
Other people have forgiven him, so why cant our children?
Q. One year ago my husband of 23 years was arrested, he had been looking at underage pornography. 45 counts of category a amongst other. Myself and our family were totally shocked as he had always been a very good person who helped all the family and ...
A. 7 October 2017: I'm sorry, but you are not qualified to ever say what he would and would never do. You are the least qualified person in the world to ever make that statement. I also think that you are in extreme denial and have pushed away the gravity of what ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stole money from my purse, I broke it off but am feeling sad.
Q. I am 48 years old and in a telation with a man my age ,we r engaged but since i knew him i felt that there is something missing in the relation and i wasn't sure that i love him and kept postponing marriage.he is so kind with me and generous in ...
A. 5 October 2017: STOP TALKING TO HIM!
Who the hell steals from the woman they love and calls it a "test"?? He IS a scumbag, as Honeypie has said. He is a horrible human being, and you need to GET AWAY FROM HIM!
Every time you come into contact with him... (read in full...)
Should I attend my Son's wedding?
Q. I am a dad who doesn't get along well with his only son. He is getting married in a couple days and have chosen a non cleric, non blood related family member to officiate the ceremony, a man I totally despise and have never gotten along with. I like ...
A. 5 October 2017: There is a *lot* more to this story than you have written here, OP, and I get the feeling that this is just the tip of the iceberg, or the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. So allow me to ask you a few questions about the straw and the ... (read in full...)
How do I politely ask that they donate my fee to charity?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I have a somewhat boring question, but never the less I need some advice. How do I politely ask that the money I earned (which is not a lot) be given to a charity? I don't want to sound weird or arrogant... A friend o...
A. 4 October 2017: You've already told THEM okay, meaning you could burn social bridges and make for some awkward dealings if you reverse yourself.
Take the payment gracefully, and then YOU donate to charity. You serve your own principles as well as keep things o... (read in full...)
I think it's degrading to give oral if it's not reciprocated and he thinks I owe it to him because I gave it to other lovers!
Q. An Oral Sex Dilemma My boyfriend and I have been discussing about oral sex for a few weeks now. We have very different opinions and want the opinion of outside individuals. I think that it is degrading to give oral when if it is not reciproca...
A. 4 October 2017: The guy is making excuses. He's making very elaborate ones, but in the end, he will never reciprocate. He is also in the wrong because past boyfriends should NEVER EVER come into a current relationship. That means that you shouldn't bring your ... (read in full...)
I am not a masturbatory toy!
Q. My fiancé has suffered from delayed ejaculation ever since we met. For over a year he could never reach orgasm with me unless he uses his hand, closed his eyes and tuned me out. Literally I could not speak. I confronted him and it turned out he was ...
A. 4 October 2017: The guy is a porn addict who has gotten too used to not only his hand, but the artificial stimulation that porn brings, which is why he closes his eyes and tunes you out. You're right. You are a prop. He's making love with himself only.
If it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother came over and rearranged our bedroom, I can't find anything!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now and we live together. He is 22 and I’m 20. Let me start off by saying, I think family is super important and I would never want to come between my boyfriend and his family. But it bothers ...
A. 29 September 2017: I think your mom could be friends with my mom! My mom cleans out of compulsion as well. I grew up living in a house so clean you could eat off the floor in. There were entire rooms like the living room we weren't allowed to play in because we ... (read in full...)
Should I stand firm or offer reconcilliation?
Q. Hello aunts, My question here is simple. I fought with my wife last night. The reason was that she started complaining and saying she wishes she didn't have to pay rent (we pay half-and-half currently) so that then she could buy more things. ...
A. 29 September 2017: It's NOT about the purse! Any guy who has married a woman knows that oftentimes, it's not about what's being discussed on the surface. The way this guy runs the money in the household is wrong and unfair and unequal.
I'm not saying this as ... (read in full...)
Should I stand firm or offer reconcilliation?
Q. Hello aunts, My question here is simple. I fought with my wife last night. The reason was that she started complaining and saying she wishes she didn't have to pay rent (we pay half-and-half currently) so that then she could buy more things. ...
A. 29 September 2017: Yeah, what she's resisting in you isn't the desire to buy $5,000 handbags. It's that YOU are using and leveraging power by keeping your money separate. You have one household you expect her to give equal effort in keeping by cooking for you and ... (read in full...)
I am exhausted and my boyfriend is no help.
Q. I know I'm right but someone please knock some sense into me. I'm in a relationship, we don't live together but I spend a lot of time at his house. Work everyday and come home to him sitting on the couch everyday watching tv and has done nothing ...
A. 29 September 2017: Leave him stranded! He's your boyfriend, not your husband, and his rejected car are the fruits of his inactivity. You have your life to live, and he has his. You don't live with him, so fit him in on YOUR schedule. If he wants mobility, he needs ... (read in full...)
Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?
Q. I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...
A. 27 September 2017: If your girlfriend were here writing us instead of you, I have no doubt that what her question would be "Why am I stuck with the guy who wants sex all the time but doesn't want to do anything with me?"
I'm going to number this, because unlike m... (read in full...)
How can I last longer the first time?
Q. I just got into a relationship, its been quite a few months in. We are about to hit 3rd base and this is my first time someone will give me a handjob or even a blowjob. I don't think I can last for more than 30 seconds. Any tips on how to last ...
A. 22 September 2017: Yes, give yourself an orgasm a couple of hours before you see her. Some guys who really go fast sometimes rub one out about two hours before their date, slowing them down and keeping themselves from being over-excited and ready to explode at the ... (read in full...)
She's asked me for advice-Can I be honest and tell her she's in a bad relationship?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I need some advice on should I say what I think or... be polite and lie. I have 2 cousins who are like sisters to me. One of them is having problems with her papers. She's been living in a foreign country for the past 7 y...
A. 22 September 2017: DO. NOT. LIE!
I repeat......DO NOT LIE!
She's asked for advice, so don't wuss out and throw some platitudes at her just because you're afraid of confrontation. You know what they say about the truth? It sets people free!
Let's lay out t... (read in full...)
I was drunk and slapped my boyfriend across the face!
Q. I feel really bad admitting this but i have been with my partner five months and i think the world of him. But the other evening we was drinking and to the point where i literally don't remember what was said. But he went into the kitchen and when i ...
A. 20 September 2017: Yes, I have advice. You NEED to feel every bit as terrible about this as you do. You need to feel so horrified that you even have the CAPABILITY to inflict domestic violence and to raise a hand to someone you love, because anyone who can do that ... (read in full...)
Are we sexually incompatible? I need help!
Q. my fiancé and I have been together for a year and a half and we have been struggling sexually. when we first got together he told me he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex I was perfectly Fine with that as we both were practicing christianity ...
A. 20 September 2017: I too was in a relationship where religion played a role, and he had said he wanted to wait until marriage as well. We did wait until we married to have intercourse, but believe me when I tell you that we did everything BUT in the time beforehand. ... (read in full...)
We've had rough times but seem to want only us! But his marijuana use is a problem for me!
Q. Hi, everyone. Hope everyone is doing well. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. And we seem to love each other so much. And i sat seem becuz we say we love each other to the max but we do many things to hurt each other. And find it ...
A. 19 September 2017: I concur with the others, but there was something else you said really fast in your post. I'll highlight it here:
You said "Anyways we have broken up a couple times. Due to marijuana use, being unfaithful and being immature."
Now I know th... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene!
Q. My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene. Her teeth are yellowish and her breath smells bad.I love her but everytime I wish to express it with a kiss I hold back. How do I bring this up with her?...
A. 18 September 2017: The only real answer is a truthful one.
Tell her that she needs to see a dentist, as there might be an infection that's causing some halitosis (bad breath), and that you want to be able to kiss her. If she gets defensive, which might or might... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: Oh!! And SORRY!! I should have my act together here and think of these things all at once, but you said something in your post about his entertaining his daughter?? Does he have full custody? Where is this girl's mother?? If she is a youngster, ... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: How old is she?? I guess before I get carried away with getting her arrested, the thought occurred to me that she could be 2 years old??? In that case, if she's young like that, you instead take that into consideration in the divorce. I saw your ... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: BTW -- the charge is "Assault with a deadly Weapon".... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: I'll say this -
Had it happened to me, I would have secretly taken fresh pictures of my destroyed hair and recorded the confrontation with her.
Then I would have gone to my husband and told him to deal with his daughter. Had he even so much ... (read in full...)
I love my husband very much and am quite a 'fangirl' for him but then why am I so attracted to the younger guy?
Q. Hi, I've been married for 10years now. I'm very much still happy in my marriage and I still find my husband very attractive, I have no intention of ever needing or wanting to look elsewhere. Yet I find myself attracted to a younger man that...
A. 14 September 2017: When a gas station suffers a gas leak at the pump, the first thing they do, before going to get the fire department, is to shut down the gas and cut off the flow.
Same with a ship that has a leak that threatens to sink it. They repair the leak... (read in full...)
I don't want sex to become a duty!
Q. I have polycystic ovary syndrome. If often means my hormones are all over the place. Sometimes I want sex and sometimes I really don't want sex. But my long term boyfriend naturally has a higher sex drive than me and seems to take it really ...
A. 11 September 2017: I have Polycystic Kidney Disease and a kidney transplant. Some of the cysts are also on my liver, small intestine, pancreas, and ovaries. Needless to say, I, too, have to deal with wonky hormones, strange periods, and enough medication to choke a ... (read in full...)
I like girl A but am dating girl B
Q. I became really good friends with these two girls who are best friends. I liked them both but had a crush on girl lets say girl A. I never told girl A this. We had different styles and the few convos we did have she always talked about dating this ...
A. 11 September 2017: PS, and now I'm going to have to eat every F*** chicken in this room. LOL... (read in full...)
I like girl A but am dating girl B
Q. I became really good friends with these two girls who are best friends. I liked them both but had a crush on girl lets say girl A. I never told girl A this. We had different styles and the few convos we did have she always talked about dating this ...
A. 11 September 2017: Seriously, if you ACTUALLY liked girl A and you treated Girl B the way you say you did, Girl A is going to ***HATE*** you. Best friends TALK about the guys in their lives, and if you are being a "passive prick", as you say, you blew it with BOTH of ... (read in full...)
I 'almost' had a relationship, what's going on, s he being cautious?
Q. I am very confused. An "almost relationship" probably best describes what we were. We were close friends prior to any feelings developing. We were not physically intimate, there was a lot of cuddling and closeness when he invited me over. But he ...
A. 10 September 2017: I'm going to make this simple, because it's the kindest thing I can do for you so that you can learn from this and move on.
BOTTOM LINE:
You made a move for being a relationship, and when he rejected you, you lashed out at him. After the rejec... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend I'm a virgin but I'm not
Q. I had sex with my partner in April 2016 ...I had sex one time with him and till now I haven't had sex with anyone .. I have a boyfriend to whom I had said that I'm virgin and he is asking for sex so what should I do so to look like that I'm virgin??...
A. 10 September 2017: Uhh, try telling him the truth??
Don't lie in your relationships. This boyfriend is asking for sex, so obviously your state of virginity isn't something he's wanting to preserve. And if he's only with you because he thinks you're a virgin, ... (read in full...)
I'm on the verge of having an affair
Q. Dear Cupid, I am about to start an affair, I'm 30 year old woman, in along term relationship. I've been married for so many years and we have 2 children. I have a stable life, extremely loving husband, too loving he doesn't get the concept ...
A. 10 September 2017: First of all, this guy isn't "Falling for" you. He is pursuing you for sex. His conversations, his videos, his meetings all have sex in mind. He's playing a longer game, but it's BECAUSE you're married that he's coming after you. And sleeping ... (read in full...)
What's with the condoms? Is he lying to me?
Q. Hello, My fiancé and I been together for almost 6 years and about 2 years ago I've found a condom in his jacket pocket and I asked him about it and he told me it was from us from the beginning of us dating. And now I found another condom in his ...
A. 7 September 2017: I was going to post the product code thingy, but the esteemed aunt Aunty BimBim beat me to the punch!! Outstanding! I'm 5-starring her answer just for the efficiency!
Many condoms operate with a 3-5 year expiration date, and as AB has so eloqu... (read in full...)
Should I be honest about kissing my friend, or leave it in the past?
Q. I can't tell if I'm over reacting about this situation and I'd really appreciate some insight. Here's a bit of a back story... Late '16, early '17 I met this guy and we really liked one another to the point where we started developing a sem...
A. 6 September 2017: You've said all you need to. You broke up, and you kissed someone else while apart. You got back together, and then told him. DONE.
Leave it alone! There's no reason you need to tell details. Your mutual friend's not going to get shunned ... (read in full...)
Should I be honest about kissing my friend, or leave it in the past?
Q. I can't tell if I'm over reacting about this situation and I'd really appreciate some insight. Here's a bit of a back story... Late '16, early '17 I met this guy and we really liked one another to the point where we started developing a sem...
A. 6 September 2017: You've said all you need to. You broke up, and you kissed someone else while apart. You got back together, and then told him. DONE.
Leave it alone! There's no reason you need to tell details. Your mutual friend's not going to get shunned ... (read in full...)
My co-worker is trying to paint me as a bully!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. I work with this girl who is trying to paint me as a Bully. We don't always see eye to eye. She says I pick on her when I have to tell her she is doing something wrong. I don't like being that person. Its because I have a...
A. 6 September 2017: You aren't the technical definition of a "bully", as that seems to be the new "catch-all" buzzword for grievance nowadays. But your approach needs improvement, because you did attack your co-worker, who is your peer. Let me post some of the ... (read in full...)
My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin
Q. my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...
A. 5 September 2017: Ahhh...yes you did, and I'm so sorry to have missed that!
I'm glad I asked again though, because you revealed something very interesting that we wouldn't have known:
I find it telling that she had a fit over you having slept with someone els... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is going a bit too far
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 15 too We been together for almost 6 month but sometimes when we just kissing and stuff he grabs my butt and stuff but in the beginning I would always take his hands away from my butt but know I kind of got use to it and s...
A. 5 September 2017: All of the aunts here are giving excellent advice. You will need this boundary-setting skill in order to navigate your teenage years as well as your adult years!
In particular, READ HONEYPIE'S post over and over. She outlines HOW to say no in di... (read in full...)
My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin
Q. my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...
A. 4 September 2017: OP, you didn't mention this, and I'm asking to get a better idea on how this went down, but given your response "She said she was ashamed and worried what I would have thought of her".
Given that this was 30+ years ago, would that mean you were... (read in full...)
I'm made to feel like a social pariah because I've chosen not to have children
Q. Dear all, I am a 37 year old woman with a great job and an even greater husband. I have my own house, I travel a lot and I love my life. I live and work in a ver small and narrow-minded community which makes me feel like a pariah because I don't ...
A. 3 September 2017: I'm curious to know where you're from, as the behavior you've described reminds me of being in church rather than being in general society, as maybe I live in an area where people don't make comments like that out of sensitivity towards people's ... (read in full...)
My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin
Q. my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...
A. 3 September 2017: Listen, I'm absolutely on your side on this, OP.
This *IS* a huge deal!! If this were employment, this is the equivalent to lying on your resume to get a job that you might not have been qualified to get had you been truthful.
In the job wo... (read in full...)
I told him 10pm was too late for dinner and now he won't speak to me
Q. Dear Cupid; I met a man on-line, he asked me to meet him at a nearby restaurant/bar at 9:00, he then changed the time to 9:15. I texted him when I got there never got a reply. I waited for 15 minutes and as I was getting ready to leave when he ...
A. 2 September 2017: You totally did the right thing!
The guy is a flake who doesn't value your time, and you wasted a perfectly good Friday night on him.
If I were you, I wouldn't talk to him either. You gave him two chances, and he blew them both without rem... (read in full...)
Was this a missed financial opportunity and should I have consulted with my boyfriend?
Q. I'd like opinions from everyone about communication and responsibility within a relationship. To briefly summarize, my boyfriend and I live in my childhood home. We get by w/ our jobs and friends/tenants helping out on the monthly expenses. B/c my ...
A. 2 September 2017: Are you SURE you're common law? Check your state, because common law is all but absent in the US now as far as a legal marital status is concerned, and don't let him tell you any different when he comes pressuring you about that money.... (read in full...)
Was this a missed financial opportunity and should I have consulted with my boyfriend?
Q. I'd like opinions from everyone about communication and responsibility within a relationship. To briefly summarize, my boyfriend and I live in my childhood home. We get by w/ our jobs and friends/tenants helping out on the monthly expenses. B/c my ...
A. 1 September 2017: Your boyfriend is WAY out of line. If he wants *that* kind of input into your finances, then he should marry you, plain and simple. Your boyfriend is an emotional status, not a legal financial one.
You live together, so your expenses are like... (read in full...)
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