Was sending that message to my BF the best option? Or did I just stoke the fire more?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have been friends for years before that. One thing I know about him is that when he gets upset he doesn't want to talk right away so when I know he's upset I'll just leave him alone until he's ...
A. 14 April 2017: PS - I'm not trying to be harsh on you! I'm angry at your d-bag of a boyfriend. I'm guessing this has been a pattern he's put on you, and people who behave like that who intentionally hurt and stress their partners pisses me off nearly as bad as ... (read in full...)
Was sending that message to my BF the best option? Or did I just stoke the fire more?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and have been friends for years before that. One thing I know about him is that when he gets upset he doesn't want to talk right away so when I know he's upset I'll just leave him alone until he's ...
A. 14 April 2017: I think you should have chucked the entire idea of an email. I would never be with a guy who forces people to walk on eggshells until he feels like talking. And your email didn't make your point at all, because you didn't say what you REALLY ... (read in full...)
Why is it a sought after fantasy, that satisfies so many men, to want to watch women hurt and degraded during a porn film?
Q. With the proliferation and popularity these days of extreme hardcore porn much of which depicts violence towards women , do men still see women as worthwhile individuals or are we just sexual objects for their gratification? Although I understand p...
A. 14 April 2017: In many people who watch porn regularly and have become addicted to it, as with many other drugs like heroin, cocaine, or meth, the more the drug is used, the more desensitized the addict is, so it takes more and more and stronger drugs to try and ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have a friend with benefits he isn't attracted to?
Q. I met a fellow on a dating site a few months ago with the mutually-agreed-on purpose of only having sex. Since then, we've continued to hook up, but it's been happening less and less - from several times a week to once every 1-2 weeks - although he ...
A. 12 April 2017: Listen, you picked the WRONG type of relationship to test your insecurities on, because by its very nature, FWB rejects a permanent or emotional connection in favor of no-strings-attached sex.
Nearly all relationships start out with tons of sex b... (read in full...)
My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere
Q. Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I ...
A. 12 April 2017: You're from Washington State?? You're *REALLY* lucky you're in that state, because the age of consent plus exceptions based on age and circumstance varies wildly and greatly from state to state.
I'll spell it out for you here as well, but here... (read in full...)
I'm a teen and I'm feeling insecure about the size of my penis. Am I normal, in size?
Q. Hey guys. I'm 15. First question - is my dick size good. It's around 6.7-6.8in. or so in length fully erect. I'm that's a good size, yet I still constantly feel like it's small. It could be the girth. I have a problem with. I don't really have a ...
A. 10 April 2017: You're totally fine!! And yes, you're a "grower", or as I like to say - your penis is a lightsaber. Your measurements are perfect, and you have no reason whatsoever to be embarrassed by your equipment.
If I may give you a small piece of advic... (read in full...)
Why show the picture, to show me she looked like that porn star?
Q. Why would my guy show me a picture of a porn star and say, "before I knew you, a woman who looked exactly like this asked me out" ? Is he trying to make me feel insecure or point out that, "hey look I can get a woman sexier than you" ? What's hi...
A. 9 April 2017: Oh my lord. He actually showed you a picture of a porn star and said that??? HAHAHA!
The sense of humor in me would be SOOOO tempted to go find a really raunchy porno on the internet, find the one with a musclebound guy with the biggest,... (read in full...)
Can intercourse make a woman tighter?
Q. Ok my wife is usually is avrage tigjt like not too tight but no loose. We has sex this morning and she was tight. She has cheated in the past amd she a lier for sure. If u have sex with someone can it cause ur vigina to be tighter ...
A. 9 April 2017: The answer is NO, it can't cause your vagina to be tighter. I think your imagination is running away with you, but if she has cheated in the past, and she has been lying to you, then this is not about her vagina, and it's ALL about the fact that ... (read in full...)
30 year age difference and she's starting to talk about having kids. I do not want to lose her but just can't go back to raising another family
Q. I am a single 54 year old man who has been dating a 24 year old woman now for the last 5 years. I was 49 and she was 19 when we met. It started as friends with benefits but now I am afraid she has gotten closer and started to say I love you. W...
A. 8 April 2017: Anon Reader - I didn't infer a single thing that the OP didn't say himself. And you know as well as I do that at his age of 49 at the start of this relationship means he's been around the block, and at her age of 19, she has NOT. Barely out of ... (read in full...)
30 year age difference and she's starting to talk about having kids. I do not want to lose her but just can't go back to raising another family
Q. I am a single 54 year old man who has been dating a 24 year old woman now for the last 5 years. I was 49 and she was 19 when we met. It started as friends with benefits but now I am afraid she has gotten closer and started to say I love you. W...
A. 8 April 2017: I'm sorry, but you need to do the right thing and end it now. The problem is the fact that this isn't merely an age difference issue.
You're using her for sex, and she's fallen for you. It's immoral for you to keep using her, taking advantag... (read in full...)
I caught my partner in a lie. Now he's verbally abusive and constantly puts me down
Q. My partner is so different since I caught him out with a lie. We aren't young (both in our 40's) and there should be no grey areas within our relationship. He has lied to me several times about minor things, lied to at least 5 times about bigger ...
A. 7 April 2017: Can you be specific? What does he lie about? And what do you mean when you say "there should be no gray areas".
What exactly happened with this girl on Facebook??... (read in full...)
My Bf is annoying me with his alarm setting each day. How can I get him to stop this?
Q. my bf drives me crazy with his alarms in the morning - he sets them 40 minutes before i wake up for work on two different devices - each device goes off once every minute for forty minutes so 80 annoying alarms!!! i wake up in a bad mood as i have...
A. 7 April 2017: I agree with Honeypie! My husband is also one of those "hour long snooze hitters". He's lucky that I can sleep through anything short of a nuclear airstrike, but the one time he did it on a weekend, and I had the flu that day, he hit the snooze, ... (read in full...)
I prefer staying home to attending his family gatherings! Is this going to be a problem?
Q. Dear all, I am married to a wonderful guy and yet I've always been a bit of a loner. We always joke that we love being loners together. He comes from a large happy family and they meet every now and then for a huge meal. I have no issues with his ...
A. 6 April 2017: Holidays like Easter and Christmas are one of those times you SHOW UP. NOBODY likes the big family productions. I have one next Saturday myself I'd love to get out of, but you sign up for that sort of thing when you get married and join into a ... (read in full...)
Coping strategies would be appreciated for bad office situation!
Q. Not a relationship problem but hoped you guys could give me a bit of advice. I work in a small company of just over 20 staff, most of us working in a large open plan office. One of the women, who is in her 30s, has taken to wearing short SH...
A. 6 April 2017: Welcome to the 21st century, where calling someone out is a one-way ticket to violent defensiveness. Just go on Youtube and look up confrontations involving people who aren't disabled illegally parked in designated handicapped parking spots. Even ... (read in full...)
I still think of my ex all the time. Does that suggest that I should break up with the new lady, who I am currently dating?
Q. Am seeing some one new, for the last couple months, so my question is, what does it mean when I say, ''I wish my ex would of treated me this good''. Does it mean I should break up with the new one? I still think of my ex all the time, over a year ...
A. 5 April 2017: You know, years ago I read on a message board where someone similar to yourself was talking about her ex along the same lines as you, and she made the remark "Hate is love set on fire" to which a very humorous person responded with "Divorce is ... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 4 April 2017: So it's YOU with the feelings too, and now you feel vulnerable, right??
If you have feelings for her, and she said this to you:
"she says that im the greates guy she has ever met and no one respects her like i do. And im the only guy she tru... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 3 April 2017: Agreements not to have "those" feelings is like agreeing for water not to be wet. It's a law of nature, and if feelings develop, you'd have better luck trying to hold back a rainstorm rather than continue with some "Friend with benefits" situation ... (read in full...)
I'm very happy in my relationship but why do I suddenly want to contact my abusive ex to tell him how awful he was to me?
Q. When I was 16-18 I dated an emotionally and physically abusive man who was a little older than me. My first time was with him and it wasn't something I wanted, but we were somehow together for a couple years. When it ended, it didn't properly end. . ...
A. 31 March 2017: First of all, if a guy was physically abusive towards you, you shouldn't want to be in the same COUNTY, let alone in the same room as he is.
Second, you're healing from the ordeal. Your life is on the upswing, and your ego wants to confront... (read in full...)
My mother has blocked contact can I get visitation rights to see my sisters?
Q. Well, idk how to start. Recently about a month ago my Mothers husband and I got into a disagreement because he yelled at my sister which is not his daughter and as always I defended . well my mom took his side and blocked me on Facebook and forced ...
A. 30 March 2017: Ahh, this is a question for a family lawyer, and there are many who work pro-bono to help people like you.
I do not know which state you hail from, as states have different laws for family issues, but many states will mandate sibling visitati... (read in full...)
Her parents insist we don't talk for 5 years! They disapprove of our relationship!
Q. I had been in in relationship with my girlfriend for 7 months. She's 18 and I'm 17.We just so in love with each other. We chatted all day, we share our everyday life ,topics and stories. We greet each other good morning and first thing in the ...
A. 30 March 2017: Her parents can SAY that all they want. The bottom line is that she is an adult according to the laws of Malaysia. This means that while her parents can insist on some 5-year thing, which really means that they're trying to get her to forget you, ... (read in full...)
I'm in a sexless marriage due to my wife's depression and now menopause. What do I do?
Q. My wife had 10 months off work with work related depression now the menopause has struck We have not had sex for nearly 2 years and even sleep in different rooms at times as she is in bed by 9pm most nights due to the medication. I am now becoming ...
A. 30 March 2017: Ahh, so this is a medical issue. Her medication destroys her sexual drive and response capacity. Many depression medications have the unfortunate side effect of virtual chemical castration in guys, and rendering a girl's sex drive into an asexual ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend have commitment issues? He won't change his address
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year, but he hasn't changed his address with the post office. He is still picking up mail at his parents house. We moved in together June 2016. Last weekend I mentioned it and he said, "t...
A. 30 March 2017: OH!! BE CAREFUL with this one.
You live in the US, so there's absolutely no hassle with address changes. It's free, and when done online, the mail starts at the new location within 1 day.
There's only one reason why he's hiding his mail ... (read in full...)
We booked a weekend away to save our relationship and he wants to play soccer! Am I selfish? Am I not a priority to him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having fighting almost non-stop for the last 3 weeks with things being hard since the new year. Every time we make up and promise not to fight, we do it again. We have been together almost 2 years and been through ...
A. 30 March 2017: I want to address something NOT addressed by the other aunts:
Your parents' divorce.
I know of a church that had existed for 25 years under the same pastor and his wife. Then, the shocker - they separate and eventually divorced each ot... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 22 March 2017: Ahh, you're young. This is a lesson then. I'm sorry you had to learn it the hard way that many married men are straight up dogs even with their own co-workers. You'd think they'd know not to S*** where they eat, but some men are just jerks that ... (read in full...)
Whose last name do I give to my baby?
Q. My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...
A. 22 March 2017: If the father is not in the picture, your son's name should be yours, not his. That's what I believe anyways.
I understand your mom's line of thinking, but two things are driving that, both being antiquated lineage record-keeping related.... (read in full...)
Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?
Q. I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...
A. 21 March 2017: I'd be upset, but not at a co-worker. HE should have said something before his lips were on yours, and YOU should have asked him "are you single" before your lips were on his. He's a married man. Being separated for a month is still married, only ... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure because he hasn't said the "L" word.
Q. I've seen this type of post a few times on here, but I wanted to share my personal situation and get your input. Thanks in advance! My BF and I are 24. We've been officially dating for 5 months. These months have been extremely happy. He is so ...
A. 21 March 2017: Five months is too soon! Feeling infatuation is different than declaring love. You should be sitting back and enjoying spending time with him rather than analyzing who's saying what and when. Do NOT say it first, especially since you recognize ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't care about things!
Q. My boyfriend lives with me and I mean, we've had our arguments, but I find that he pays no attention to me. He goes to work, the gym, then he comes home and plays video games until we go to bed and pays more attention to the dog even. I've asked him ...
A. 21 March 2017: You're asking the wrong questions, to be honest. The question "What's wrong?" shouldn't be asked of HIM because the "what's wrong" is the information YOU should be sharing.
He is fine with his life, work, gym, video games, and you're the one who ... (read in full...)
Roomies are all going in different directions so how do we divide the stuff we bought together?
Q. It's coming to the end of our lease and I [26,M] just found out I need some major dental work that's going to cost me a TON of money. So to save up again I'm moving back in with my ex-girlfriend, Lana,[22,F] I won't have to pay anything so I should...
A. 19 March 2017: What the hell??? This ex Lana is paying for your needs while you save up for dental work, and you're quibbling over a toaster oven?? I think that belongs to Lana, not you. You say that she gets "power over you". What kind of a man ARE you?? ... (read in full...)
He has not told his ex about me yet. Is is reasonable for me to feel so hurt? Am I over-reacting?
Q. I've been going out with my partner for one year. We both have kids from previous relationships. Being a mother and full time parent i have included him in my two kids lives. We both have teenage daughters. He spent christmas with his ex and stay...
A. 19 March 2017: Telling the ex and telling the children I see are two separate issues. I am inclined to agree with Honeypie in this instance - I'd be questioning whether or not they're divorced or merely separated and still married. That happens much more than ... (read in full...)
Miscarried and I'm not over it
Q. Hi all I'm a 20 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We're currently saving for a house. He is in a full time job while I've been drifting from job to job (whilst looking for a full time serious job). I have been ...
A. 16 March 2017: I don't know if there's a point where you're "over" it. I think it's more that life moves forward and you learn to live in a new normal. What I can tell you is that getting pregnant again will not help you get "over" what happened. It will be ... (read in full...)
My ex refuses to acknowledge that porn played a part in our breakup
Q. Hi there, I recently had suspicions that my partner of 8 years may be suffering porn related ed. he was being secretive, defensive and only capable of having sex when he could act out his fantasies(which he didn't share with me). No intimacy...
A. 12 March 2017: You ended the relationship, which in this case for you is a double-edged sword. You two are no longer together, so he doesn't have to answer to you anymore about anything that happened, and you've ended it. You should have done the talking and ... (read in full...)
Husband found out about my promiscuous teen years
Q. I've been married 3 years and my husband and I have a great relationship based on trust on we don't keep secrets. I was recently contacted on Facebook by Erica, a high school friend. When we were in school, we were promiscuous. We did girl on g...
A. 12 March 2017: Here's the thing - I had started typing up that what you did before meeting your husband is your business and not his, until I re-read your post and need clarification on something:
Your friend Erica - is she an ex of yours?? Were you two inti... (read in full...)
My boyfriend no longer has time for me because of his new job. How do I cope?
Q. I feel that my boyfriend and I may have hit a rough patch. We're about 6 months into our relationship and up until this point, things have been so easy and carefree. Then, he got a new job that has a lot of potential for him to advance and be v...
A. 11 March 2017: You're still seeing him often after work, so you're not going without him. And YES, people shouldn't be texting when they're on the job, unless they're at lunch or on a break. That's good work ethic to not be texting constantly while on the job.
... (read in full...)
Does a man call a woman a bad word because of how he sees her physically?
Q. Do men call women wh..res because they think they are ugly ? Is it because it's thought a woman is not attractive enough to be appealing enough for a man to want to date and marry that she would have to sell herself sexually in order to survive ...
A. 11 March 2017: You're right about it being disrespectful and uncalled for. I don't ever agree with that word being used in any circumstances, because no matter what or how it's used, it's a word primarily used to shame women, and it invokes misogyny when a man is ... (read in full...)
I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side
Q. My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...
A. 11 March 2017: Had I been in that situation and had the guy I was with deliberately ignore me with the leg injury, I would have scanned the room, found another strong-looking guy, and told him "I'm so sorry to bother you, but my leg is injured. Could you please ... (read in full...)
I can't help feeling that I'm his second choice!
Q. My boyfriend always tells me that he knew from our first date that I was special and a keeper. I recently found out we had our first date, then he went out with another women the next day and had been chasing this women before and after we first...
A. 10 March 2017: His phone must have "Searched itself"?!???!
REALLY??? Does he honestly think that you're THAT stupid??
Wiseowle says it correctly here - you are a bedwarmer. You are Ms. Right Now. You are the subject of the song "If you can't be with th... (read in full...)
He's so unhygienic it's putting me off him, am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been dating for over a year. In the early days he was relatively tidy.The guy is increasingly becoming a slob. His whole place is like a teenages bedroom clothes, rushbish, hangers, money etc chucked on the floor, plates piled up in the ...
A. 10 March 2017: Actually, it's for this very reason why people should never rush a courtship or dating situation, because only with time do people's REAL natures emerge. In this case, hygiene and basic upkeep of one's living space is essential. For me, I actually ... (read in full...)
Porn related little white lie - should I let it go?
Q. Should I bring it up or let it go? My husband is very busy running three businesses. He gets very stressed with it. Sometimes he masturbates to porn to relieve tension - I know all this, it's not every day or all the time. Sometimes I use his ...
A. 10 March 2017: The short answer is YES, you should let it go. Whether it's on the PC or a tablet or on a phone, a tool is a tool, so it doesn't matter where porn is viewed, only *that* it's viewed and that it's the legal kind, as opposed to child porn or snuff ... (read in full...)
We went from sex twice a day to maybe once a week. I can't live without sex!
Q. Hey here's the problem my boyfriend and I used to have sex twice a day morning and night we've been together just over 2 years he moved in after being together a year the past few months we hardly ever have sex maybe once a week I asked him if he ...
A. 9 March 2017: To put it into perspective, you're not going without sex. It is usual for relationships to have ebbs and flows and still maintain a healthy sex life. Not many couples are sexually in sync, and the ones who are usually took years to develop that ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know I'm a stripper! Should I tell him?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for the past 5 weeks and although we are not officially in a relationship things have moved fairly quickly between us. I had been a dancer/stripper for the past 2 years and when I had met him I had actually left the indu...
A. 9 March 2017: I'm not going to judge you. We all have our means of survival. In fact, I read not too long ago an article from a high-end escort who said that her life was a very lonely one, despite having slept with well over 1,000 men and making more in a ... (read in full...)
Due to health issues, asking a relative to help seemed like a valid option. My relative is reluctant to help. What are my options?
Q. I have a dilemma and I'm looking for some advice! I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and am thankfully getting treatment but unfortunately this has meant an extended period of time off work that I was financially unprepared for. I will n...
A. 8 March 2017: Before you go to your grandmother, you should talk to a social worker first. There are a lot more sources of financial help than just the government's payments. You're in the UK, so I don't know what they have specifically in your country, but ... (read in full...)
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