Why has my boyfriend started lying about petty things?
Q. My boyfriend has started lying . Instead of wanting to see me this weekend he told me he was looking after a family member ( child under age 10 without the parents ) who was visiting . Yet i know that was a lie as i saw him walking around town on ...
A. 26 November 2017: The keys here are these:
1. How long the relationship has been going on
2. What he was ACTUALLY spending his time on
3. The type of lie he was telling.
While I agree with Denizen that we aren't a crystal ball, and that the only one who ... (read in full...)
I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?
Q. I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...
A. 20 November 2017: The problem with this is that you're content at the expense of someone else. Would you be content if you were to shoplift things from a store, or would it bug you that you're stealing?
That's another man's wife! Yes, she is choosing to cheat, b... (read in full...)
Should I leave a little heart in his desk?
Q. Is it ok to leave a little heart in his desk? Just want to know some opinions. There's this guy at work that I like and I'm sure he likes me too. But I think it was my mistake by not showing interest in him and I think he has distanced a littl...
A. 17 November 2017: With the current climate of sexual harassment and workplace relationships going around, this isn't the time for ambiguous hearts and that sort. He might be distancing himself because of a simple reason: Making workplace advances towards co-workers ... (read in full...)
Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 15 November 2017: No, that's actually a very classy thing to do. Enclose your business card along with the note.
You should do it. It shows poise and an appreciation for their time. You might even stick in their minds in case another opportunity arises, and at t... (read in full...)
Whatwas he trying to prove?
Q. Had a major fight with my husband and then he went online (on my computer) and looked up ALL of his exes and past flings on social media! Don't think he contacted any of them but why would he do that?...
A. 14 November 2017: He did that to be petty and passive aggressive and get under your skin.
That's why he used your computer and looked up ALL of his exes and past flings, because it would piss you off. This is the equivalent of your cat jumping up onto your bed... (read in full...)
Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...
A. 14 November 2017: I read your post as well as your follow-up, and I'm really glad I read the follow-up, because it revealed the REAL question behind what you wanted to know from us, and I think the ring is a secondary issue here.
So let's get the ring out of the w... (read in full...)
My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!
Q. My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...
A. 13 November 2017: This guy is an adult, and you are underage to be touching him. What he is doing is STATUTORY RAPE/solicitation of a minor/lewd act on a minor under 16 because you are too young to consent, and he is taking advantage of you.
Do you not love you... (read in full...)
Why did my LDR boyfriend block me after I made a comment on one of his photos?
Q. ok this is short but I just can't understand it.. my bf blocked me from his facebook as soon I commented one of his recent pictures, (i said: how long is this pic?) and he blocked me after it. I am from the USA he is from Iraq, we have been together ...
A. 10 November 2017: My guess is that YOU are the one he's hiding. People from the US aren't very well liked in Iraq for obvious reasons, and while you might have had friendly words in private correspondence, but you are a very inconvenient truth when it comes to his ... (read in full...)
How do I make my separated husband realize his responsibilities towards me?
Q. after few months i am very depressed become of my sister in law and mother in law n i decide to live desperately.today me and my husband live separate but my husband does not accept his responsibilities like paying rent, secure me and child , ...
A. 10 November 2017: I don't claim to know everything about culture in India, but if it's your decision to separate from your husband and live at a different address, why is he obligated to pay your rent if he's already paying for a residence you decided to leave??
... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with my boyfriend! How much longer do I give him and how far does “for better or worse” really go?
Q. I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, engaged for 6. I’m at the end of my rope and I know what I need to do but lack the ability to do it. I’m 28, a recent college grad, and have a job working at a hospital which supports me completely. He’s 34, ...
A. 10 November 2017: Did I miss the part where you talked about marrying him??
"For better or worse" is a MARRIAGE vow, and since you refer to him as your boyfriend, you're under no obligation to tolerate anything like this from a partner! Even if you HAD married ... (read in full...)
My husband really wants a dog and I couldn’t think of anything worse!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 1 year and dating for 2 years before that. He really wants a dog and I really don't want one. (Both of us don't want kids). 3 years ago, when we met and began dating, he had just moved from another state an...
A. 10 November 2017: I have to speak in the OP's defense. I don't think she's heartless enough to neglect the rabbit by not feeding or caring for it. I also before I married made it clear that I would never be a dog-person, but that was because my mom was very nearly ... (read in full...)
I'm growing uncomfortable with his questions! Should I go meet him for coffee?
Q. Dear Cupid, I met a 41 year old guy who describes himself as sophisticated, also wants a sophisticated lady, online.He writes he is ready for a new relationship. He writes he has never been married, has no children and lives alone. He has a ...
A. 10 November 2017: Oh God. Unfortunately, you just attracted one of THOSE.
This guy isn't looking for a relationship. He's looking for a fetish accessory, and he's thinking that because you are disabled, that you're desperate to be this accessory.
What gu... (read in full...)
What does his taste in porn say about what he's actually fantasizing about?
Q. Would love some male opinions on a porn question.... My husband watches "cheating wife" porn. The "subject" confuses me. Is it a fantasy about cheating with another married woman, or a fantasy about his wife (me) cheating with someone, ie: cuc...
A. 10 November 2017: While fantasy is just fantasy and not necessarily what they want in real life, "cheating wife" 95% of the time is a "cuckold" fantasy. Just look on any major city's Craigslist, and you'll see many couples requesting someone to have sex with the ... (read in full...)
Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want o be with me anymore?
Q. My ex of 5 years and I have recently broken up. For a couple of months I noticed him being extremely distant. I'd confront him about it and he tells me things at work aren't good and it's not allowing him to spend time with his son like he use to. I ...
A. 9 November 2017: Why did you waste several WEEKS on this??
He ghosted you after 5 years because he's an immature coward who most likely is dating someone else and wanted to hedge his bets with you rather than do the honorable thing. Everyone, regardless of socio... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend excluded me to his brother's funeral because his ex was going
Q. Hello, I am after some opinions please as to whether I am over analysing things and being silly or if I am right to feel upset and rejected. I am new to this site and so am expecting there may be some readers who will judge me pretty harshly...
A. 6 November 2017: Yeah, I'd say that you are correct in how you're feeling. I would understand his actions had you been in his life for less than a year, but a 5-year relationship should be permanent enough for you to be the primary partner in his life, and the fact ... (read in full...)
A coworker eats smelly food right next to me!
Q. Hi everyone, this might sound like a trivial problem but it’s really bothering me. I recently started a new job and the man that sits next to me is a bodybuilder and as such eats an entire tub of cottage cheese at his desk every day at 9am. I think ...
A. 3 November 2017: Oh, your boss sucks. I had a co-worker who ate egg salad that reeked of smelly onions and stale Miracle Whip at her cube when I was younger, and I promise that I wasn't the only one who complained about it. Unfortunately, she was a bully who ... (read in full...)
How do men deal with the hair 'down there'?
Q. This question is really difficult to ask people in real life so here goes. Ladies, what's your opinion on pubic hair on your men? Shaved, trimmed or untouched? And men, if you're shaving down there, how do you handle the testicular area? ...
A. 2 November 2017: All I *REALLY* care about is whether the guy is clean and hygienic. I'd rather he NOT shave, to be honest, because shaving and waxing brings up its own share of discomfort and problems and doesn't change my desire or ability to be sexual orally or ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my fiancé after 5 years together, she is begging me to come back!
Q. Hello, We live in one of the bigger cities on the West Coast. Met my ex-fiancee (wow, writing that still hurts) 5 years ago. I run a couple successful tech companies so for the last two years I've been traveling back and forth (spending together...
A. 2 November 2017: Let me ask you this:
I see your age, and you're no fresh college graduate. You're establishing your life, your money, and your future, and she's already telling you how to spend both your personal money (on her!) and your business money (don't g... (read in full...)
Why have I started despising my married lover?
Q. Is it normal for the other woman to start hating or resenting the married man she's been seeing for a while? How does it go from him being able to do no wrong to thinking less of him over time? So, from love to hate? Seems like such a drop in her f...
A. 29 October 2017: Like Honeypie said - it's REALITY.
Let's say for the sake of this example, that the married person is a man, and the mistress is a woman since that's your situation. It does work both ways though, when the woman is married and the man is the othe... (read in full...)
Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?
Q. If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...
A. 28 October 2017: Sorry - wasn't done!
He'll drop you when you start DEMANDING things from him like commitment or for him to free himself up to having a conventional relationship with you. He doesn't want that, so he'll drop you.
If his wife finds out, he'll... (read in full...)
Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?
Q. If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...
A. 28 October 2017: The answer is quite simple:
A cheater's words are WORTHLESS!!!
Everything that comes out of a cheater's mouth isn't worth the oxygen it took to speak them.
He told his wife he loved her as well. How's that working out?? He's cheating on ... (read in full...)
Has my husband gone off me
Q. Hello I have a problem with my husband never wanting sex anymore we have been together 6 years and married just over a year ago and now have two children together.in the beginning we were sex maniacs and he couldn't get enough of me now he never ...
A. 28 October 2017: Oh yeah, most definitely it's because of the close-together pregnancies. If you put on a lot of weight, plus the chaos of both a newborn plus a baby on the threshold of becoming a toddler, that can tax even the best of sex lives.
The barrier ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you miss the other woman if the affair ends suddenly?
Q. Guys, do you miss your mistress when your affair ended suddenly. I just ended my affair with a married man. Without stating the reason why. I know it’s wrong to be in love with him. So please spare me all the nasty comments. I feel kinda ...
A. 25 October 2017: Everyone is different, and in this case, a cheater's actions tell a story far more accurate and and revealing than his worthless words could.
You are in love with a lie. The guy you thought you knew does not exist. He may miss being able to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was kissed by a gay guy and now he wonders if he is bi?
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months just told me he was kissed by a gay guy at a party I wasn't able to attend, and also told me he thinks he might be bi now. I'm just wondering if other people consider this cheating. I'm pretty uncomfortable with the whole ...
A. 24 October 2017: "I think I might be bi" means "I was sexually turned on by making out with someone who wasn't you".
I wouldn't care if he's "bi", and quite frankly, that's an insult to bisexuals to suggest that BEING bisexual means that you can't be faithful... (read in full...)
I'd like to help them save their marriage!
Q. Oh boy. I have two friends that have been married for ten years. The husband has been having an affair off and on for three years with a chick he refused to ever completely sever ties with. The wife has taken off with other guys during their splits ...
A. 24 October 2017: You are a drama-junkie when it comes to them. You can't be objective given your own dating history, and you're not a licensed counselor, so you don't have education qualifications to deal with their issues. What you have been doing for years is ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?
Q. Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...
A. 23 October 2017: "Keeping eyes and ears open" doesn't mean demanding passwords, phone codes, rifling through mail/bills, digging through Facebook private messages, snooping through emails, constant suspicion, or constant accusations and questioning.
Snoop... (read in full...)
Can I ask him to let me touch myself?
Q. I want to masturbate in front of my husband but I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I talk about it and just straight out ask him if he wants to watch or should I slip into something sexy just be waiting for him when he enters the bedroom and ask ...
A. 23 October 2017: That's one of the best and most fun conversations TO have with a spouse! Don't spring it on him. Just one night or day talk to him and tell him you've had a fantasy about having him watch you masturbate. Make it a two-way conversation and ask him ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?
Q. Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...
A. 22 October 2017: No OP, you're wrong about that. Having trust issues is about nobody but YOU yourself. If you were with an egotistical lying boyfriend, YOU chose him! If you've had multiple boyfriends who betrayed your trust, it's because YOU're attracted to the ... (read in full...)
My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce
Q. I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...
A. 18 October 2017: This guy is hedging his bets. He's also a MARRIED MAN which makes you a mistress, which makes him a secretive cheater just like every other cheating spouse out there.
He's also not wanting you to make any actual relationship demands on him. If... (read in full...)
I can't bear to let him near me since I discovered he is still watching porn!
Q. During our recent holiday, my partner and i were in our room and i decided to have a shower. To my surprise i saw my partner change channel on the tv to a porn channel! I could see the tv reflection in bathroom mirror...i alerted him to the fact i ...
A. 17 October 2017: You will HAVE to leave him.
This guy will NEVER stop watching porn. He may cover his tracks a lot better with you, and he will hone his convincing "They're all ugly compared to you!" reassurances, but he's a porn user, and he will not change. ... (read in full...)
Have I blown my dream job with a wrong answer?
Q. Hi I just applied for my dream job in an IT company and got invited for interview. Interview had 4 rounds and I cleared all of them. But after the rounds we had a small question answer round about the job. They asked me whether I'm okay with ni...
A. 16 October 2017: Oh you blew it. You seriously blew it. That was the worst interview answer in the history of interviews AND answers! You should be admonished!
**I'm kidding!**
You gave the right answer! It shows willingness AND honesty. I've hired many ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend brings up his ex girlfriend
Q. I went to a high school reunion this past summer. While there, I met a man who I really didn't talk to much in high school. We kind of hit it off, and for the past 2 months, we have been dating and getting to know each other. My question is abou...
A. 16 October 2017: I'm about 80% in agreement with Honeypie, and she's most likely right anyways. The 20% I'm diverging from the train of thought is the fact that you met this guy AT a high school reunion, so talking about the past would be in context to the ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with wanting more attention from him through texts!
Q. So I have posted about this previously, but I’m starting to get that feeling of neglect again. I feel terrible as I know my bf is working very hard and I hate asking him for more attention. The situation hit a breaking point a couple weeks ago, he ...
A. 13 October 2017: If he is telling you how much he loves you, and you see each other physically, then what on earth are you wanting?? It's not healthy to use texting as a leash to demand timely, daily, hourly texts! You're going to lose him if it continues.
Some ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend want to delete his exes from facebook?
Q. Why doesnt my boyfriend want to delete his exes from fb? Hes sayin that they r just friends and their break up were amicable but i notice a constant interest of them on his posts and messenger and also hints and subliminal comments One of them ...
A. 13 October 2017: Are you REALLY age 41-50?? Your post grammar has deteriorated some.
You've got a real problem on your hands. It's one thing to have an ill-used Facebook account with an ex from 30+ years ago on it. It's another to STAY in contact with exes. I... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me, it took me 2 years to get over him and now he wants to try again
Q. At what point can you be sure you have forgiven someone for hurting you, and take them back? 3 years ago my then boyfriend of nearly 2 years left me for someone else. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did. I never really forgot he...
A. 12 October 2017: Honeypie brought up THE POINT of the entire issue.
This guy cheats on you and devastated you, not to mention shattered the trust irrevocably, yet the best this little man can do is TEXT an apology after 2 years??
This is the behavior of a gu... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife have a young lover since I can't perform as I once did?
Q. My wife (aged 55)and very attractive, and I have been married for 24 years and over the last 3 years I (aged 57) have had trouble maintaining an erection during sex, I have tried all the usual medications but I get side effects from them, so I have ...
A. 11 October 2017: Let me get this straight so I can understand:
She has to talk about this 31-year old guy WHILE you're masturbating her in order to climax?? Sorry, but that's messed up, both that she is TALKING about this during her act with you AND that you've b... (read in full...)
I feel I can't even communicate anymore because of his crazy reactions!
Q. Ok so myself and my husbsnd just had a huge fight. It happens every couple of months but ive just realised that i think he oveereacts. He shouts, spits, throws things and wont talk to me for days. This time it started like this.... We h...
A. 10 October 2017: OP - thanks for the follow-up!
First off, not surprising that he was a regular porn consumer. That's part and parcel to his preferring your BJ's to sex, because let's be honest - both porn and BJ's have something in common: A guy can lie back... (read in full...)
I feel I can't even communicate anymore because of his crazy reactions!
Q. Ok so myself and my husbsnd just had a huge fight. It happens every couple of months but ive just realised that i think he oveereacts. He shouts, spits, throws things and wont talk to me for days. This time it started like this.... We h...
A. 9 October 2017: What the hell does his BUSINESS have to do with whether or not he can take 10-15 minutes for a tumble in the sheets with his WIFE??? He needs to wake up and smell the burnout, and you need to be straight with him and leave the snide asides at home. ... (read in full...)
My wife is another man's slave
Q. My wife is deeply into S and M and I am not. I discovered that she has become the slave of another man, but still professes she loves me. I have allowed her to spend 2 or 3 nights a week with her dom. I don't think I can find any way to give her...
A. 8 October 2017: Ormskirk360 - GREAT post!
I have a good friend who is into the S&M scene. I'll admit, if I hadn't known her, I wouldn't get it at all, and to be honest, if anyone came near me with clamps or hot oil or floggers, I would run! If sex were truly a ... (read in full...)
My ex bf new gf texting me how good their relationship is
Q. I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We've had our ups and downs but we pulled through. We also had lots of arguments. On our last argument we had I went to work, came home and he packed his things and left. My ex bf now, left a ...
A. 8 October 2017: This one actually made me smile, because the extremities of the situation are so extreme and comical to me that they're almost a parody of themselves. Allow me to explain:
He is not over you, but he is such a selfish absolute asshole that you... (read in full...)
Is my Supervisor in the wrong for telling us about a colleague's mistake?
Q. The other day my supervisor told me and a colleague during a meeting a mistake a co-worker made. This mistake is something that did not affect me or my other colleague whatsoever. Was this appropriate? I just feel if he was attempting to tell us the ...
A. 7 October 2017: I had a supervisor who did that sort of thing. He did not last very long, and his departure from the company wasn't voluntary at all. You're absolutely right in your assessment that if he's gossiping about mistakes other employees have made, he'd ... (read in full...)
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