| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello, so I woke up next to my boyfriend yesterday and noticed porn in his history, I was confused so I asked him why he had porn in his history and he said he fapped last night. I asked him if he did it right next to me and he said yes!!!! Is it weird that he masturbated to porn next to me when I was sleeping or am I just overreacting???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): Yes, I would take it personally. That's all.
I can see why it would bother you so much.
You worry he is not sexually satisfied with you.
Makes you feel bad about yourself.
We have all masturbated. And to porn. Men AND women alike. Some of us have even done it with our partners in bed asleep next to us. Or so we thought.
If I did it, it was because he was not in the mood or too tired etc. and I was raring to go. So, I took care of myself. Sometimes I use it as a weapon if I am really horny and he is not. I move around in bed to make it obvious and play with myself and he does not like the idea when he is right beside me, so he eventually joins in and takes care of me. Maybe you can spoon him from behind and grab his hand and play with his penis? And then go down on him? Or give him a hand job? I think it is erotic when a woman takes care of her man this way in the middle of the night. It can be pretty intense sometimes. And maybe he might do it back to you.
I would talk to him about it first before getting upset and making assumptions. Tell him you know he is doing it. Ask him why he does it. Tell him how it makes you feel. Give him a chance to explain what he's doing. And offer to please him orally or manually instead. Say you would expect nothing in return. Hopefully it is not something he does all the time. Sometimes sex in the middle of the night can be fun. It does not have to be long and drawn out. Quickies can be very intense and passionate sometimes too.
Are you the type that likes lengthy, drawn out sex sessions? If so, maybe he has an urge and does not want to bother you? Maybe he feels he can take care of it himself? Maybe he isn't up to doing all the work, especially when it's time to sleep? Or he might think you aren't up for it either.
Here is another approach. Before bed, kiss him from the feet up to his genital area. But do not touch the penis. Yet. Lick and kiss all the way up his legs. Suck him in between his thighs down to the knees. Underneath his balls. Lick his penis up and down before putting it in your mouth. Then alternate the intensity and length of strokes once inside. Give him a nice, sensual build up. Then bring him to climax. He will probably love that so much he will never touch himself again. Seriously!
Or wait til he is asleep and gently nudge him awake by caressing his penis and take it from there.
He might think you are not into a quickie. He might not want to bother you because he has an urge and thinks it is quicker and easier to take care of it himself.
There could be all kinds of reasons. And maybe no reason at all for you to be upset.
JUST ASK HIM.
COMMUNCICATE WITH EACH OTHER! Especially about SEX!
I think if you show him you are up for a quickie or just pleasing him - no strings - once in awhile, he will be much more receptive to you taking care of him rather than him taking care of himself.
Sometimes we have to take charge as women in the bedroom. And just do it!
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): No it is neither weird, nor disgusting. He may not have wanted to disturb you if you were too tired; and he may have just wanted a quickie before sleep. He answered each of your questions honestly. Give him some credit, most guys would lie to your face. We all have habits we do in our private moments, and sometimes they aren't likeable if discovered.
With or without porn, men and women masturbate.
Okay, you've snooped and he's busted. So now what?
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A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (29 July 2017):
 I think it's disgusting. You're not over reacting. You have every right to not approve of it. I wouldn't be happy about it. Masterbate when I'm not home, not when I'm home in a different room, home and in the bath - no.
Yea everyone has a right to do it blah blah blah. But I don't like it. Especially with porn. If you're not happy with it tell him so.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (29 July 2017):
 Uhh, how did you "notice" porn being in his history?? What were you doing snooping on his phone?? I find it weirder that you would wake up next to him in bed, and the first thing you'd do is grab his phone and start rifling through it LOOKING for porn.
You violate people's trust when you go snooping like that. You should keep that stuff to yourself, because if some boyfriend had cracked into my phone, gone through my history, and then interrogated me because of it, I'd break up with him. Being with someone, even sleeping with them, doesn't mean that you lose any right to privacy and are entitled to go digging in his stuff.
As for doing something next to you while you slept, that's actually pretty common. Not everyone does it, but it happens more often than you'd think. Have you ever masturbated lying next to him, porn or no porn??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): I'd be pissed off, maybe you need to have a conversation about what porn and what you both think is acceptable in a relationship, as it's different for everyone.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (29 July 2017):
 He could not sleep so he looked at porn you were asleep and did not let him know if it was ok to wake you up in the middle of the night if he wants to relieve himself in the hope he can get back to sleep,
Women are known to read romantic books like fifty shades of gray beside their BF
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (29 July 2017):
 You're over reacting.
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