Is it ok to masturbate?
Q. Being a sportsperson I masturbate , is it okay to do it? I have heard it decreases stamina etc..just please help ....
A. 12 January 2017: Absolutely it's okay! It actually does you good to do it! The health benefits of doing it are managing stress and depression, gives your brain healthy endorphines, it bolsters your immune system slightly but noticeably, helps you sleep better, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that feelings have resurfaced for him even though we are both married to others?
Q. Hi guys! My ex-partner and I separated amicably over a decade ago, and keep in contact and remain friendly towards one another for the sake of our fifteen year old daughter, whom we co-parent. Our relationship, which lasted for about eight years, f...
A. 11 January 2017: First of all, I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your second child. That's the most heartbreaking kind of relationship-ender, when grief tears apart what was once beautiful.
You have moved on with your life, and so has he. There are children... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 11 January 2017: Yikes. I feel for you here. And while I agree that the main issue is the marriage, this way of his proposing does reveal a possibly disturbing trait of his.
If there is *anything* that's the most important thing to do in person, it's the marr... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: Yes, you *did* reject your child.
You rejected him when you ALLOWED your girlfriend to delete your picture because she said it looked like your son. By not standing up to her and saying "knock it off", it's a rejection of your son.
You rej... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: Your son is 8 years old, and you allowed a woman to make you choose between your son, your own flesh and blood, and her?? I understand a woman taking issue with an ex-wife or an ex-girlfriend, but anyone who would actively alienate someone from ... (read in full...)
He wants to move in, I said not without marriage.
Q. Dear Cupid ,I'm at a time in my life now my kids are grown and now I just want to do me.I have this one guy friend who wants a relationship with me and then hopes of marriage. Our kids are all grown and some have children of their own.He wants to ...
A. 9 January 2017: Ahh, I get it. He's pretty much living there already without the final formality of the change of address and the moving of the rest of his stuff.
I'm on your side on this one, firmly and completely. I have never had any moral objectio... (read in full...)
The sex is good but I want more!
Q. I'll get straight to the point: I'm not happy with my sex life. I'e been with my husband for 15 years, we're married for 4. we are happy in our realtionship- though there are always things to work on. He works a lot, which is fine. He is caring and ...
A. 9 January 2017: To put it mildly, *yes*, you're wrong to think this way. The sum total of marriage doesn't boil down to a sexual position or a desired activity. If the roles were reversed, and he wanted to perform rough anal sex on you and that wasn't your cup of ... (read in full...)
I'm now embarrassed making noise during intimacy, any reassurance?
Q. I have a chronic illness and doctors aren't sure what it is. I'm in pain meds, even controlled ones, so I try to take as few as possible when the pain is bearable. I frequently get flare-ups that cause crippling pain and I just have to wait it ...
A. 7 January 2017: Make noises! Orgasms absolutely help with pain!
If he's all worried, have a "safe word" meaning you're in pain and can't take it. If he doesn't hear it from you, that means you're good to go.
It's interesting that you said "My boyfriend sa... (read in full...)
He wants me to be his accountability partner!
Q. I write articles online and some commenters are allowed to message me on an anonymous mail for private conversations. My type of articles are centred around happenings in everyday life and the struggles faced by youths but I'm in no way an expert...
A. 6 January 2017: Noooo...RUN! I smell scammer BIG time. A loan can either be obtained or it can't. He doesn't want an accountability partner. He wants a life coach, and that costs money. This guy is bad news when he's bringing money into his dealings with you. ... (read in full...)
He wants me to be his accountability partner!
Q. I write articles online and some commenters are allowed to message me on an anonymous mail for private conversations. My type of articles are centred around happenings in everyday life and the struggles faced by youths but I'm in no way an expert...
A. 6 January 2017: Ahh, "accountability partner". That gives me flashbacks to my religious background, because with the rise of the internet, those two words were uttered by both ministers and laypersons, as well as their wives in various degrees of anger, fury, ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me?
Q. why is my ex boyfriend still so angry at me? He broke off our relationship six months ago for no reason that I could see. When I asked him all he could say was that he wanted someone who was the same every day. Makes no sense as I am always i...
A. 5 January 2017: After 6 months, it's time for you to open the prison door and let yourself out. I agree with Honeypie in this - It's long past time for you to move on from him.
Something in HIM is broken. For whatever reason, he chose to break up with you. Yo... (read in full...)
I don't want to nag, but my boyfriend won't shower. Solutions? How should I respond?
Q. I'm 26 and I've just got into a relationship with a guy who's just turned 25. We've been seeing each other for months and we've been official for less than 3 weeks. As you can imagine I'm still in the honeymoon phase but he's straight away made him...
A. 4 January 2017: I'm with Honeypie! YUCK! I *have* to shower after a hard workout, because the sweat (and I'm not talking the cutesy kind of perspiration mist, I'm talking SWEAT) is full of dirt and toxins and the shower feels GREAT to aching muscles.
Men's... (read in full...)
What I want to know is, if he is seeing my ex best friend then would he really want to stay friends and in touch with me when there is a good chance I would eventually find out
Q. My boyfriend of one year an I split up 8 weeks ago. We split because I thought he was seeing my best friend....I still do. He has ALWAYS sworn that he never had and never would have anything to do with her and that one day I will see that. He tells...
A. 3 January 2017: You split with him 8 weeks ago because you can't trust him. He lies to you as a general rule; this much is for certain.
Whether he is seeing your ex-best friend or not is now irrelevant. You're never going to get the "proof" that your brain-in... (read in full...)
How can I respond to my BF over these very ugly sneakers he gave me for Christmas?
Q. My boyfriend got me these ugly knee high sneakers for Christmas. I acted grateful and thanked him. They really didn't fit me (thank goodness). So I took them back to the store and just planned to get something else. He's been driving me c...
A. 3 January 2017: He may very well be confusing the message he wanted to give you with shoes to be what most men are aiming for when they buy jewelry, which is to "tag" with their gift. When a guy buys jewelry, it's an extremely intimate gift. He may have been ... (read in full...)
My jobless, lazy boyfriend is using me for money. He thinks what's mine is also his
Q. Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, he has been living with me and my family for about 8 months, for the past 6 months he has been unemployed and living off of me completely. Recently I was fortunate enough to come into a ...
A. 3 January 2017: First of all, the big part. It's not "our money", and you had BETTER NOT have anything joint whatsoever with him. No joint cell phone accounts, no joint bank accounts, no joint credit cards. Do not co-sign for him. NOTHING. STOP buying anything ... (read in full...)
Why cant my wife say sorry?
Q. I have been noticing for a few years now that my wife never can bring herself up to say sorry! I am much more of a perfectionist than her. She has messed up a lot of things in the past - like check writing (once she added $1195 and 25 to en...
A. 2 January 2017: Why are you keeping a record of wrongs on your wife? That's not being a perfectionist. That's being vindictive and negative.
You bought a bag of snacks and COUNTED the snacks?! If you were counting, why didn't you take your share, separate... (read in full...)
His reaction made me feel guilty. Should I have gone there when he asked me to come over ?
Q. My boyfriend called on a Sunday as soon as he woke up, which was the same time I woke up. He asked me "come over, I'll change the oil in your car", and since I just woke up and haven't walked my little dogs for a couple days because of the cold wea...
A. 2 January 2017: OMG Get the hell away from him NOW! How is he paying for all of these drinks?? You are in danger! Get people who love you around you. Let all of your friends and family know what is going on, because you don't want him retaliating against you. ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 2 January 2017: Sorry, I mean the FIRST guy she's slept with since the guy in college, making the guy she dated NOT a sexual relationship.... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 2 January 2017: What about if she hadn't slept with him?
The OP said that he was her first longer-term relationship since college. I didn't get the sense that this other guy and she had gotten sexual, and he pointed out his girlfriend's lack of experien... (read in full...)
His reaction made me feel guilty. Should I have gone there when he asked me to come over ?
Q. My boyfriend called on a Sunday as soon as he woke up, which was the same time I woke up. He asked me "come over, I'll change the oil in your car", and since I just woke up and haven't walked my little dogs for a couple days because of the cold wea...
A. 2 January 2017: OMG, yeah it's definitely a pattern, wouldn't you think??
You *need* to be there for your mother, and it's disgusting that he's actually getting in the way of that and harping about "his needs" at a time like this.
Honestly? I'd end this rel... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 2 January 2017: Sometimes, the direct approach is the best one. :)
My heartfelt congratulations, and my best wishes for a happy 2017 for you both!... (read in full...)
My husband made 160 phone calls in one month to his female coworker! Advice?
Q. Geez - where to begin? Suffice it to say that about a year ago I began a downward spiral into depression. (The triggering event was horrific, but unrelated to my marriage). Anyway, I am definitely not myself, anymore, nor do I adequately fulfill the ...
A. 2 January 2017: The other aunts have given you great advice. I'm just adding a tidbit of food for thought here. I wonder how Jessica's "jerk boyfriend" would feel finding out how much time and energy she's putting into phone calls and texts with your husband. ... (read in full...)
His reaction made me feel guilty. Should I have gone there when he asked me to come over ?
Q. My boyfriend called on a Sunday as soon as he woke up, which was the same time I woke up. He asked me "come over, I'll change the oil in your car", and since I just woke up and haven't walked my little dogs for a couple days because of the cold wea...
A. 2 January 2017: Do not feel guilty. Your boyfriend was trying to manipulate you. It was disguised as a favor in order to control the balance of power in your relationship. You did the right thing, and now you MUST resist the "guilt manipulation". If you let him ... (read in full...)
Is my ex looking to reconcile, or just hoping to being friends?
Q. Ex gave me two missed calls on the 29th of Dec. He claimed it was accidental. So I didn't react thinking it was genuine mistake. But he wished me a happy new year, and we ended up texting for about an hour. Funny thing about the text was we we...
A. 2 January 2017: Two missed calls? "Accidental" my foot. He was testing your receptiveness, meaning he was feeling nostalgic and lonely over his first holiday season without you in 7 years.
The real question here is - why did you two split after 7 years, a... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 2 January 2017: Male anon - thanks for the reply, and interesting conversation, so thank you!
In your opinion, since you mentioned "multiple interactions", I have a couple questions for you.
1. Multiple interactions in this case means their JOINT interactio... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 1 January 2017: I re-read it. The *only* mention of her interactions with the ex was here:
"who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc."
Note the "we've both hung out" portion of the text, meaning he specifically did... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 31 December 2016: Male anon - she wasn't seeing anyone behind his back. If she were, that would be a much different story.
It sounds more like she and her boyfriend have the same circle of friends, and she just informed him that one of their friends was a guy she ... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to the news that my Gf of 8 months failed to tell me (until very recently) that her friend was also her ex ?
Q. My gf of 8 months and i have been hitting it off great, discussing issues that come up. She recently informed me that she had dated one of her friends-- who we've both hung out with at parties on a lot of special events, ie birthdays etc. I was ...
A. 31 December 2016: I don't think she broke your trust so much in that it was jarring to you WHEN she told you. You mentioned that your previous contact with him was when both of you hung out with a group of friends that included him. She didn't hang out with him ... (read in full...)
I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either
Q. I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...
A. 27 December 2016: PS, the only way you're going to get out of this without becoming the most judged and hated person in the church and community is to come up with some spiritual "God told me to make a change" story and split the church.
Otherwise, get ready fo... (read in full...)
I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either
Q. I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...
A. 27 December 2016: Wait a second. You said something on here that blew me away!
You're a SINGLE mother! Another SINGLE guy started chatting with you on Facebook, and this pastor is admonishing the SINGLE guy to stay away from you, and you think that this protects... (read in full...)
Why do some men say things to their partner the man thinks may sound supportive, and yet concurrently they collect pictures of women and porn?
Q. I know this might seem a dumb question but it's bothered me in a lot of relationships I've been in as I've noticed most guys seem to do it and think it's no big deal to lie about it . Why do some men say things to their partner like 'you're the only...
A. 27 December 2016: In my opinion, you do so by opening an in-depth dialogue with the guy in question about how he views porn in the bounds of a committed relationship, and you express your own views about the existence of porn in a committed relationship.
Keep ... (read in full...)
Why do some men say things to their partner the man thinks may sound supportive, and yet concurrently they collect pictures of women and porn?
Q. I know this might seem a dumb question but it's bothered me in a lot of relationships I've been in as I've noticed most guys seem to do it and think it's no big deal to lie about it . Why do some men say things to their partner like 'you're the only...
A. 26 December 2016: Because the man who says these things has compartmentalized his life, believing that the random images and porn aren't real. He may believe that he's looking at "spank fodder", so therefore to him, his lie is true.
He very well may be telling ... (read in full...)
In a committed, passionate, loving relationship. Am I wrong for feeling 'put down' or like a 'one night stand'?
Q. Here are the basics in order to fully understand my feelings about this situation: I am a 35 yr old male and she is 34. We have been in a committed relationship for a year now. We have a what we call "remarkable" relationship that truthfully ...
A. 26 December 2016: Truthfully? You're a very understanding guy, but now's NOT the time to "eggshell" around her past baggage. What she said was really hurtful to you, and you are owed an explanation about what happened.
Before that though - After knowing her only... (read in full...)
Crippling retroactive jealousy - does it get better?
Q. My battle with retroactive jealousy: - It's been almost 2.5 years. Improvements: - It is getting better. I can function normally in last one year. - Hearth shattering instant images no longer pops up. - It is getting less visual. - I kinda g...
A. 18 December 2016: Male anon, I think you misread my post's meaning.
What I meant was - the older he gets, the more that anyone, INCLUDING HIMSELF, has a history. He's not 17 and there are girls who have never had another boyfriend. If he meets a girl his age, THE... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 18 December 2016: That's fantastic! Made me smile!... (read in full...)
Crippling retroactive jealousy - does it get better?
Q. My battle with retroactive jealousy: - It's been almost 2.5 years. Improvements: - It is getting better. I can function normally in last one year. - Hearth shattering instant images no longer pops up. - It is getting less visual. - I kinda g...
A. 16 December 2016: What is it you can't get over?? You're in your 30's, so you've been around the block and aren't a spring chicken anymore. You also know that if you leave her and are with someone else, chances are at your age, and at hers, you both have a past. ... (read in full...)
My husband says I am controlling and that everything has to be my way
Q. My husbands company decided not to have a Xmas party this year. Which we were both very happy about. Then today they decided 6 days from now it would be a good idea to have a small party with just the office people. I simply asked my husband if we ...
A. 16 December 2016: Your husband's company needs to make up its mind!
You don't have to go with him if you don't want to! My husband does stuff I'm not interested in and vice versa. It's not like a family get-together where custom dictates that everyone shows up... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: What kind of church, chigirl? Traditionally, a Christmas concert is a dress-up affair, but if this church is a "seeker-friendly" or whatever, the dress code is a bit more relaxed!
Here's a great tip - call this church yourself and ask one of t... (read in full...)
Is my sexual wish too much to ask?
Q. Dear aunts, I have a gf who i love. I'm straight but a like girls to play with my arse. I just like the sensation. I'm afraid if i ask my gf to try a dildo or a strap on on me will make me less desirable for her. What do you think?...
A. 10 December 2016: I don't consider your request as something that says that you're bisexual! In fact, there are some natural benefits for those who like prostate massage or milking through stimulating the prostate through the anus and rectum. Many guys experience ... (read in full...)
Was 'going to the dentist' just a cover story? Was he ever 'seeing the dentist' ? Does the evidence suggest my husband is cheating?
Q. Here is an interesting question and it involves speculation and coming up with possible explanations. I am hoping to see how people think and what conclusions they can draw from this situation. It is something different from the usual. Might be ...
A. 7 December 2016: Honeypie hit it - that was my first thought, that if the guy really WAS getting a crown, that's the fastest dentist I've ever heard of! It takes a couple of hours for crown work.
I also don't understand why the PI wasn't watching the CAR as oppos... (read in full...)
Who do I go for? Dude A or B?
Q. Who do I really love? I'm 17 years of age and I'm in my final year in secondary school. I am in a love triangle(two boys). I love dude A a lot but he is a player and I've know him since primary school, he was my sitting mate in primary school. ...
A. 2 December 2016: Stay as far away from "Dude A" as possible. The reason you're drawn to him is because of your maturity level, being 17. That's not a slam on your age, but it *is* the "bad boy" allure that ends up causing major damage to you in both the short and ... (read in full...)
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