She has a guy friend stay over!
Q. I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...
A. 17 June 2018: Your follow-up illuminates quite a lot!
She is treating your attention as if you were a no-strings-attached FWB, not an actual, enfleshed relationship.
If she ACTUALLY said that she doesn't care if "things happen" between you and a hypothetic... (read in full...)
I feel I’m being played with! Do I cut off all contact?
Q. My ex and I saw eachother for the first time after 6 months of not speaking at a house party around 2 weeks ago. I was extremely drunk He was telling me how much he missed me and didn’t leave my side the whole night. We even went home together...
A. 11 June 2018: This guy has a LOT of red flags that make ME nervous:
1. He pushed for sex when you were really drunk.
2. He "Made* you give him your number. He pressured you and wouldn't take no for an answer.
3. Making you "say please" in order to CALL... (read in full...)
She has a guy friend stay over!
Q. I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...
A. 11 June 2018: I agree with you. It's a matter of boundaries and propriety. It is inappropriate for a woman who has a boyfriend to invite another guy to sleep over without it being absolutely okay with her boyfriend.
This guy isn't her brother or stepbrot... (read in full...)
Should I just resign myself to the fact that my looks are going bye bye?
Q. This isn't a relationship question, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind and heart lately. I know that I'm setting myself up to be judged because I'll be perceived as "vain," or "shallow," but I have a huge dilemma because this is causing my ...
A. 11 June 2018: Your age shows that you should be at the prime of your life in looks and energy. Right now, it's ENTIRELY to do with the kind of fuel you are putting into your body.
The phrase "you are what you eat" is more accurate than you know! If you take... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I want him to propose?
Q. I have a question do I risk ruining everything and admit to my boyfriend that I want him to propose or keep my mouth shut until he’s ready to ask me himself ? Both 26 been together 11 years he’s the kindest sweetest most amazing person I have eve...
A. 6 June 2018: Well, if it were me, and it had been 11 years, I'd probably take the initiative and do the asking myself, but I was one of those rare people who didn't have the whole romantic on-one-knee proposal dreams. In fact, I never wanted to get married ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my wife about my bisexuality?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a male in my mid-30's and married, but I want to be able to admit to myself that I may be bi-sexual. I'm attracted to men like I am to women, but I love watching gay anal and shemale porn as well as straight porn. I have also had ...
A. 5 June 2018: Here's the thing:
You're married!
Here's what that means:
If, instead of being bisexual, you're attracted to other women besides your wife, would you be so gung-ho on telling her this fact??
OF COURSE you wouldn't! Everyone knows that b... (read in full...)
I cheated in the past he doesn't trust me and now things are off. What can I do?
Q. Dear cupid,about 4years ago, i was in a long distance relationship with Ray(not his real name). The relationship didnt mean much to me because he was my rebound and the distance wasnt what i needed but at that time i wasn’t thinking. This resulted ...
A. 5 June 2018: Uhh, can you blame Ray for how he is behaving?? People tend to try to avoid pain, especially the intense crippling kind that comes when you're cheated on by someone you really care about.
You cheated on him before, and now it sounds like you invi... (read in full...)
She wants to meet up, what will she expect? Am I overthinking this?
Q. Hey I have been talking to this girl online for roughly 3 weeks. We matched on dating app. I’m 27 and she is 36. First time I have flirted with someone few years older and it has been a pleasant surprise. We have been talking a lot, common ...
A. 3 June 2018: There is a double standard as to how you are perceived, but two of my best friends have an age gap where the woman is also 9 years older than the man. They met when he was 25 and she was 34, and they married at exactly the ages you are now (27 and ... (read in full...)
I’m sexually frustrated in my married! Advice?
Q. hey id like to clear my thoughts and get an opinion. here goes, right ive been in a relationship for 14 years and we have 4 kids together. i no im probably going to get told i shouldnt read whats on the internet but its there and what i read is ...
A. 1 June 2018: COURT the woman! Make date nights! Getaways! She has 4 kids, and when the sum total of your game is to simply ask for sex, she sees you as another mouth to feed, someone else who is wanting something from her. If your romance starts at night ... (read in full...)
Would I be a complete cow if I don't help my ex boyfriend with his drug problems?
Q. My close friend has recently let me know that my ex boyfriend is going wild with drugs and alcohol and that he is worried about him. When I was with this boyfriend, I managed to convince him to only do drugs every so often and just weed, nothing ...
A. 1 June 2018: The only thing you can do is to cut him out of your life for good. This means no calls, no visits, block all phone and social media, AND tell your friends that you're done with him.
He is TOXIC, and he STILL is dragging you into the ground. ... (read in full...)
His daughter and I are close in age she hates me, but I love her father so much help!
Q. I'm 24, my boyfriend is 42 and we met 9 months ago on a cliff while he was on holidays in my country. At the time he was talking to his buddies about how amazing the scenery was and we locked eyes for the first time and smiled at each other. ...
A. 1 June 2018: My advice to you is not to take it personally. Her feelings for you have to do with her father and her mother. If she is close to her mother, she most likely feels that any affection towards you is a betrayal of her.
Do not take it personal... (read in full...)
Been dating for 4 years but an old flame has returned, and so have the feelings.
Q. Hi everyone, I've got a serious relationship problem I really need some help with! I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He's caring, kind, affectionate and I really do love him. However, our relationship lacks passion and we have little s...
A. 1 June 2018: I'll tell it to you straight!
This "old flame" is a major DICKWAD!!
Seriously?! He *Has* a girlfriend, yet he's going behind her back to contact YOU??? Have you once considered what will happen once you jettison a perfectly good guy for thi... (read in full...)
I don’t feel a spark with her but I still had sex with her!
Q. Me and this girl broke up a while ago, after about a month she came over to play some video games and chat. It was getting real late and she was getting tired so I offered her to stay the night. During that we began cuddling and making out and it ...
A. 19 May 2018: I'm just going to go out and say it:
That's a scummy thing you just did, sleeping with her under false pretenses. You KNOW that she has real feelings for you, and you took advantage of her, which is really not cool.
If you don't feel the s... (read in full...)
Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?
Q. Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...
A. 18 May 2018: Demand cash, not checks. Businesses are smart enough to require cash or money order if a check bounces.
I would keep on her, and honestly, people don't agree with me, but in my line of business, I've had to pursue people who refused to pay me b... (read in full...)
How much of an issue is porn while getting into a serious relationship/marriage?
Q. How much of an issue is porn while getting into a serious relationship/marriage? I don't know if I'm addicted but I watch it everyday. I am currently single and I've noticed that I watch it even when I'm with someone. Do women take offence to their...
A. 18 May 2018: Oh boy, you said something that could be a major problem for you in your relationships:
"I sometimes find it more pleasurable than real sex because I can just get it out of my system and get on with my day without having to worry if she got hers... (read in full...)
I initiated a threesome with a guy friend and now my wife is having an affair with him
Q. I just found out that my wife has been having an affair for the past two years with a single male friend of ours who we had a drunken threesome with two years ago..that threesome which was totally initiated by me alone wasnt so fullfilling for me, ...
A. 12 May 2018: Unfortunately, in the world of threesomes, this is THE definitive cliche -- husband presses for a threesome. Wife gives in, and then wife likes it so much she continues with the third party. There's even a movie called "The Sex Monster" with the ... (read in full...)
Why does being a mistress feel worse than being alone?
Q. I 've been seeing a man who lives with his common law wife and their toddler twin boys. I believed he will leave his live in Significant other as he promised and it would turn into something more . Well it seems like he was in strictly for sex.He n...
A. 12 May 2018: Every single word that comes out of a married cheater's mouth is WORTHLESS. It isn't even worth the oxygen he spends to talk!
The ONLY thing that should have moved you is a FINALIZED DIVORCE certificate. In writing, and a matter of public r... (read in full...)
Why does being a mistress feel worse than being alone?
Q. I 've been seeing a man who lives with his common law wife and their toddler twin boys. I believed he will leave his live in Significant other as he promised and it would turn into something more . Well it seems like he was in strictly for sex.He n...
A. 11 May 2018: Because it's a mirage. It only LOOKS like water, but you're actually drinking the sand.
You're not "getting company and sex'. You're being used, plain and simple. You're getting zero emotional needs met. He has a wife for that, and he's mis... (read in full...)
Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...
A. 7 May 2018: I also vowed to never have kids, primarily because my own upbringing got harsh, and I didn't want to pass any dysfunction down to another generation. I also was very work-oriented, and while my husband was open to having kids (and his parents were ... (read in full...)
I’ve given up drinking! How do I tell my friend before his bachelor party?
Q. When I was in my early 20s and mid 20s, I was a heavy drinker. I would not considered myself an alcoholic but I was a drunk. After a really bad experience about six years ago (I was lucky I did not die from alcohol poisoning), I decided that I ...
A. 7 May 2018: I add my congratulations and well-wishes too on your change of life!
You won't be a drag if you don't drink! Let him know beforehand that you've given up alcohol, and stick to non-alcoholic beverages. They make virgin cocktails, or you can stic... (read in full...)
I pretended to be another woman and my fiancé told “her” he was single!
Q. My partner of 3 years has asked for my hand in marriage. At this point there are issues that make me unsure if I want to make this lifetime commitment with him,the big one being trust issues. He has cheated on me several times. Upon discove ering ...
A. 4 May 2018: You have been far too forgiving of him. You should have left him in your dust years ago. Get this through your head that he will NEVER EVER change. He was unfaithful multiple times, and now you have evidence of his not changing.
So what wil... (read in full...)
Am I being irrational for wanting him to show me a picture of his bedroom?
Q. So I have been going out with boyfriend for 9 months, and have been introduced to his parents. His parents are really weird about having people over. They don't like to. So I'v never been inside my boyfriend home. Yesterday we were going to the ...
A. 4 May 2018: I think you've subconsciously grasped what's wrong with your relationship, but your way of bringing it to the surface is incorrect.
If we assume that what he says is the truth, and I'm being generous because my own grandparents were the same way... (read in full...)
My best friend tried to kiss my girlfriend.
Q. Hey guys. Last night my best friend (of like 8 years) tried to kiss my fiance (of 10 years). We were all out drinking, but I had left early because i was feeling gross. I had no trust issues leaving them. They didn't know i was there, as i had ...
A. 28 April 2018: In my opinion, the best course of action is QUALIFIED forgiveness. This means that in the future, he shouldn't be hanging out alone with her after drinking like that. If he truly is remorseful, he'll be absolutely beyond okay with that.
I don... (read in full...)
Should I accept a screen role with nudity?
Q. Hi uncle and aunties. I need some advice. I am an aspiring actress who is still in the middle of completing my bachelors degree at uni. I have done occasional work in TV commercials when I was a child growing up in my home country. I have also acted ...
A. 29 March 2018: The real question is -- how is the nudity applied??
If it feels cheap or porn-starish, I can totally understand your hesitation! However, I have seen roles on TV and movies where a woman's nudity was treated as empowering and an enhancer of plot ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 27 March 2018: Honeypie mentioned it -- sorry!
But just because someone's a prolific liar doesn't make them easily beat a lie detector test. In fact, he'll most likely fail it simply because of the emotional aspect of the issues between him and you.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...
A. 27 March 2018: HOLD ON A SECOND!
Why is no one on here suggesting that his BROTHER, not YOU, take the lie detector test???! I would rip my boyfriend in pieces if he, knowing that he has a liar for a brother, doesn't suggest that his brother take the test. ... (read in full...)
A co worker hates me and I want to quit.
Q. a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...
A. 13 March 2018: Work is your career and livelihood. You are at an age where you need to keep your work life and friend life separate. When you are working, it should be all professional, meaning you need the skills to deal with difficult co-workers. Worrying ... (read in full...)
I pushed him away, do I still have a chance?
Q. I met a really great guy in January but pushed him away with my insecurities. We live 2 hours apart but he always called/texted/facetimed me first. Two weeks into us getting to know each other I saw that some girl commented on a Facebook picture. He ...
A. 12 March 2018: Have you ever been diagnosed with OCD?? You scared the guy away because you indulged your obsessive nature, making you clingy and toxic. This will get in the way of EVERY relationship you get into, so you need to think beyond this lost cause, ... (read in full...)
I hate sex with my husband!
Q. OMG. I hate sex with my husband. It was always not great but I thought it would improve over time. I love him very much and I didn’t think that was a reason to break up before we got married. I’ve never discussed this with anyone.A...
A. 21 February 2018: I'll address the affair in a moment, but want to get the sex part out of the way first, or every relationship you have will die and burn like this one.
Well, I hate to tell you this, but you are 50% the reason why your sex life sucks, and that you... (read in full...)
Can I come out of the closet without answering anybody's questions about my sexuality?
Q. I am unsure about my sexuality but right now I think I want to identify as gay. I just now realised that I do not I have a problem with coming out of the closest instead I have a problem with answering the endless questions people will have once I ...
A. 21 February 2018: Just tell them what you said here, that you're still finding your way and can't answer questions about things.
Eventually, if you want deeper friendships, you have to show a little emotional intimacy yourself. People don't usually like to rush ... (read in full...)
My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married
Q. I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...
A. 21 February 2018: I read your follow-up. Did I say he was a weenie?? I meant, he's a DOUBLE WEENIE!
That makes sense now. He's terrified about becoming a new dad, and his business is struggling if he's not getting paid. What do you think is going to happen w... (read in full...)
How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 21 February 2018: Honeypie is correct. You're playing it TOO cool. You should have a 48 hour turnaround. Waiting 4 days? Waiting 3 days? You're trying to see if SHE will text you. If you like her, you shouldn't do that!
Make a date with her. Coffee isn't a ... (read in full...)
My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married
Q. I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...
A. 21 February 2018: Ohhh no he doesn't. What a weenie.
What is that fight about?? Any guy who has to hide behind his wife's pregnancy in order to avoid talking about it is a little bitch, and there are TWO people in this marriage, not one.
He is trying to take p... (read in full...)
My husband bought a perfume for a colleague.. Is he cheating?
Q. My husband came home from trip abroad. While i was unpacking i saw a burberry perfume i sent him a picture of it.. ang replied” for my colleague”... the perfume is obviously for women. He messaged again he said “ did i do anything wrong?” I felt ...
A. 21 February 2018: Yeah, I wouldn't jump straight to "cheating" yet, but like the others pointed out, perfume is an intimate gift that is inappropriate for a man to buy for a woman who isn't his wife. This would be similar to if one of your co-workers or good male ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to fall in love?
Q. I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...
A. 20 February 2018: Your instincts are correct, and you should end things with this guy.
He is trying to manipulate you with "I love you's", gifts, and so on. I'm not sure why yet, but I'm curious about it.
If sex isn't on his cards, he's either lying abo... (read in full...)
My husband is a hopeless cook who thinks he is great
Q. My husband likes to cook but is bad at it. I am a great cook since I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. I want to teach him and have him start by helping me chop the vegetables and take care of the kitchen first before doing the ...
A. 17 February 2018: My heart *really* breaks for your husband. I feel so terribly awful because of the way you are treating him. You having restaurant or culinary experience means nothing in this setting, as in a HOME setting, food is an expression of love, not a ... (read in full...)
I want to start a business but struggle with anxiety and depression.
Q. Im writing this today because I am turning 25 and I'm a failure. I so badly want to be a productive and sensible adult but I'm just a big child. I've failed in so many areas of my life it's laughable. I have no career, no super, I finally managed to ...
A. 16 February 2018: Hold up! You need to get yourself into aggressive treatment for both depression and anxiety before you even UTTER the words "Start my own business". I have been a business owner since 2002, with employees, clients, and ever changing markets in my ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to say I would leave my girlfriend if she became an addict? Is it right of her to say that I can't keep things that might "tempt" her around?
Q. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend the other day about her being upset because her brothers have started smoking weed again. I have no problem with weed. I've smoked it before myself, but apparently for them it starts them on harder ...
A. 24 January 2018: No, you're not wrong. If she were to become an addict, you have every right not to let her addiction destroy your life. It's not your obligation to stay in a relationship where someone is addicted and doesn't lift a finger to get help or work ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 11 January 2018: That won't help. This OP is the epitome of laziness himself. He said so right here:
"Otherwise u have to start the whole process of wine and dine and dating and its just so tedious and long,"
This means that he is NOT dating his girlfriend. ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my soon to be ex husband about his girlfriend from another country?
Q. Been married 18 years and my husband asked for a divorce 9 months ago. We are both still living in the marital home awaiting property settlement in a few weeks time. The situation is very stressful and toxic for me. We both have lawyers ...
A. 11 January 2018: You two are splitting. Your relationship and marriage are pretty much over except for the finalization paperwork. There's no point to "confronting" him about any relationship he has after you.
HOWEVER...
Everything you do NOW should be for yo... (read in full...)
I caught my partner out in a lie, what is he hiding?
Q. I have a partner, we do not live together but have been together for 5 years, we are what I call companions, i stay at his and he stays at mine, we also like time alone. He has female friends not a problem but this one friend he told me was ill, he ...
A. 11 January 2018: Excellent! I love posters on here who take the advice and actually take the step of kicking a cheater to the curb and walking away.
All too often, a poster will instead cling to denial or start pining for the cheater or make excuses or at worst... (read in full...)
I caught my partner out in a lie, what is he hiding?
Q. I have a partner, we do not live together but have been together for 5 years, we are what I call companions, i stay at his and he stays at mine, we also like time alone. He has female friends not a problem but this one friend he told me was ill, he ...
A. 10 January 2018: OH COME ON!!! REALLY!??!
IT's nighttime, he's lied to you about where he is, and he's staying at another woman's house.
Read very carefully:
HE IS CHEATING ON YOU!
Let me say it again:
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU!
Is ther... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 9 January 2018: Just saw your response:
"Problem is when you spend so long with someone, you become used to and comfortable around them."
and
"Otherwise u have to start the whole process of wine and dine and dating and its just so tedious and long, girls ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 9 January 2018: YOU have issues, buddy.
First and foremost, you CAN'T CHANGE someone else. Some people like dressing up, buying expensive makeup and clothes, going out for professional manicures and body wax. Some women go so far as to go under the knife to... (read in full...)
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