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Student of Psychology, Degree in Nursing with wide variety of experience. Mother, daughter, sister, wife, ex, neice, grandaughter, student, boss, colleague....you get the picture.
Interested in impulse control disorders, like chocolate, cheese, Tintin, travelling, Pepsi max, Cracker, Tony Soprano, eddie Izzard, toilet humour, Family guy - shall I go on?
Adore my family and friends. Love to help others, abuse survivor, rape survivor, holder of family record for cherry pip spitting......
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The man I'm dating has lots of female friends he's slept with. On my instructions he has dumped two of them but now he blames *me* for how bad he feels!
Q. Normally I’m not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t know what to do about my current situation. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. After six months, I moved into his place. I moved out six months later after ...
A. 17 July 2006: This all sounds a little far fetched now???... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating has lots of female friends he's slept with. On my instructions he has dumped two of them but now he blames *me* for how bad he feels!
Q. Normally I’m not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t know what to do about my current situation. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. After six months, I moved into his place. I moved out six months later after ...
A. 17 July 2006: Good luck with whatever happen sweetie!
x... (read in full...)
It's a been a month and my period hasn't come, majorly worried.
Q. I havent had my period for like nearly a month and i fear it could be the worst. Me and my bf have always been careful, but i am really starting to get worried. I have had a huge amount of stress over the past month and a bit so this could be co...
A. 16 July 2006: Get yourself to the pharmacy and get yourself an early pregnancy test. There is no point putting yourself thru all this stress when you could pee on a stick and find out what is going on for definate!
Nobody on here can reassure you because we cann... (read in full...)
My partner wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. hello, my name is mamadrama, and i'm having problems having mutiple orgasms i can only have one and after that it's very sensitive to the touch and my mate loves to give oral sex alot and it's frustrating to him when i don't want him to do it after ...
A. 16 July 2006: You probably can't change this. If you are hyper-sensitive after an orgasm you need to egt him to back off before you *go for it* again. Otherwise you will start to associate sex with being uncomfortable.
At least he can give you one orga... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family talk about everything!
Q. Subject: A difference between a couple... Over the course of my relationship I have heard many strange things from my girlfriend which have left me feeling a bit uncomftable...Such as: She knows about her brothers sex life.. Her mum tal...
A. 16 July 2006: Each family is different. That is not to say wrong or bad. This family just seem to be open and honest about things, so I wouldn't worry about it.
We are all a product of our environment/upbringing so there are things about your family that she ... (read in full...)
It's ok at first, then it gets soree... Why?
Q. everytime i have sex i get sore after 10 minites into it. its happened with 2 people now, and its unconfortable to do it. then in the middle of it i dont fell like i want it and its not pleasurable anymore. also i get swollen which is awful. . . ...
A. 15 July 2006: You probably need more lubrication. Are you using condoms? If so get some KY jelly (NOT vaseline) which should improve your situation somewhat.... (read in full...)
He finds the woman body beautiful, but I don't like feeling that I'm just another one....I want to be special!
Q. Hi. What do people think of this? My guy says that he thinks all women are beautiful - fat or thin. He says the womanly shape is beautiful, and he has paintings and statuettes of female nudes dotted around his apartment. He also says he thinks ...
A. 15 July 2006: Doing this is killing your self esteem. If he truely loved you and you ahve told him it makes you feel bad AND he continues.....then you ahve a decision to make honey!!... (read in full...)
I married her out of laziness, now she's pregnant and I worship someone else!
Q. In 1998 a girl invaded my life. Through neglect or simple laziness, I went out with her without complaining, even though she grated with me. She idolised me. Five years on and the relationship was still there, again through my laziness to tell her ...
A. 15 July 2006: Wow, I was straight with somebody and didn't get shouted at!!
Look Boesky - whatever you decide I hope and wish you all the very best. We all deserve to be happy and sometimes we have to do things that take us out of our comfort zone in order to r... (read in full...)
Can a Hindu man get divorced?
Q. Hi, I'm a 35 year old single woman. I've been having an on/off relationship with a married man for 2 years. He's a hindu. One minute he says it's just sex he wants, then he says that he cares for me greatly. His actions and his words are often co...
A. 15 July 2006: Look, this guy is wanting his cake and eating it!!
If he tells you he cannot get divorced then how about he cannot ccommit adultery either....think about it! He will obey one edict of his religion but not another!!... (read in full...)
Gossiping about another's marriage to learn about marriage
Q. Some friends and I were discussing this today, and we all had different viewpoints (all valid, in their own right), but I figured I'd pose the question to a broader audience and see what you all have to say... So I have this friend (and no, ...
A. 15 July 2006: This is a personal opinion and I may get shouted down for it, but who cares and here goes.....
No. I do not believe a maariage can survive or work if one person is disatisfied with their sex life. If both are unhappy then maybe it can work beca... (read in full...)
I love him this amazing guy... And he says he'll break up with his girlfriend at the end of the year!
Q. I'm in love with an amazing guy who completes me but something is in the way of us being together and that person is his girlfriend. I have been inlove wit him 4 bout 5 months but had a crush on him 4 a year and a half but he ays he wants us to be ...
A. 15 July 2006: You are being strung along honey. Either tell him you ain't doing second best or get out now!! He will mess with your head!... (read in full...)
I think I fancy the teacher. What's worse is she's female, like me!
Q. I'm only 13 and I feel really bad because I seem to fancy my teacher and she is a woman. I go to a girls' school and rumours fly fast so I don't dare say anything to my friends because I would feel extremely embarassed and I could be overheard. W...
A. 15 July 2006: sweatheart, this is normal. Please stop worrying.....I don't want to sound patronising, but this is just a crush. When I say JUST, I dont mean that to sound like I am belittling you. Crushes are a normal part of growing up and becoming sexually ... (read in full...)
We planned to travel together and out of the blue he breaks up with me.
Q. My boyfriend just broke up with me. We've been together for 2 years and he went travelling a couple of months ago, we planned for me to join him as soon as I finished studying, which would have been in a few months time. We'd been emailing and ...
A. 15 July 2006: He has broken it off with you very probably because he has a major case of cold feet.
You need to get over this. Throw yourself into living your life. Hard I know, but hook up with old friends and try to see new ones. Dont contact him and beli... (read in full...)
What's the right way to masturbate?
Q. I'm 13 years old and want to know the right way to masturbate....
A. 15 July 2006: The right way is the way to make you feel good. Try feeling/rubbing yourslef whilst in the bath and exploring your body that way.
x... (read in full...)
Love bites! Are they dirty?
Q. Are love bites dirty and just for tarts? ...
A. 15 July 2006: They are not dirty, but they are slightly juvenile.
x... (read in full...)
I want to leave my wife and be with my lover, but I can't leave my kids!
Q. We'll I'm 41 yr. old male, I've been married 14yrs and met a wonderful woman 7yrs ago and have been loving each other for the past 7 yrs. I've lied about being married still over the last 7yrs. I love this woman who's not my wife. I want to leave...
A. 15 July 2006: You know, if you are unhappy wiht your wife then let her go......... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating has lots of female friends he's slept with. On my instructions he has dumped two of them but now he blames *me* for how bad he feels!
Q. Normally I’m not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t know what to do about my current situation. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and a half. After six months, I moved into his place. I moved out six months later after ...
A. 15 July 2006: I was going to reply to your message by saying you needed to show a little more tolerance, but after the third and forth reading I have changed my mind!!
I am all for friendships across the genders. I have many friends of different colours, reli... (read in full...)
My partner doesnt excite me anymore, but this new guy does, should I pursue it ?
Q. Help me, I have been with my partner 4 1/2 years now, the problem is he doesn't excite me in any way or show encouragement when I try to better myself. A while ago I tried to give up smoking, he is a non-smoker so I thought he would want to help me ...
A. 15 July 2006: Sounds like the two of you are taking each other for granted somewhat. Can you book a weekend away somewhere and try to get some romance back into your lives? Do you want to split up with your long term partner? If you do and you are using this ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm almost forcing my boyfriend to have sex!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. We have been living together for over a year and I love him very much. BUT he is almost totally disinterested in sex. I want to do it all the time and it's got to the point now where I feel like ...
A. 15 July 2006: I can understand this problem. But you won't have tried everything yet.
You can ask him to go and have hormaone level blood tests done at his GP's - at least rule out any physical cause before you take the next step of psych-sexual coun... (read in full...)
Im really upset about his sexual past and feel im not good enough!!
Q. My boyfriends sexual past is ruining our future. He's slept with over 100 women and it just kills me that it's so many. He's been with prostitues as well. I am a very insecure person and I think I can't satisfy him like they did. He says he's never ...
A. 15 July 2006: His sleeping with over a 100 women does not make him bad or sluttish. It makes him a different person to you. It means tho that one or the other of you is going to have to comprimise if you want your relationship to work....but as he cannot change ... (read in full...)
What was my BF doing in the bathroom with his phone?
Q. Am I reading into things too much with my b/f of a year? We were laying down and going to be getting ready for the day--and he goes to take his shower and has his cell in his hand and said 'are you done in here for a little while?'--i guess me...
A. 15 July 2006: Wow. YOu have some serious trust issues!
This guy can't even take a dump without you checking up on him. If you feel this insecure in the first place then you need to work out if you really want to continue on with him 'cos eventually he will dump... (read in full...)
I don't think that losing my virginity is a big deal. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. is it wrong that i really and honestly dont believe that losing my virginity is a big deal? im 21 and quite honestly ready, but am not interested in love. i have a fear of the whole thing but im sick of being inexperienced. my friends think its odd ...
A. 12 July 2006: In a couple of lines....
No you are not odd.
Do it when you are ready and find the right partner who you love.
Ignore your so-called *friends*.
xxx... (read in full...)
I'm nearly 40, she's 25, is the age difference too much?
Q. i am nearly forty and have fallen head over heels for a girl aged 25. Getting close to her to find out about her was, logistically, difficult however, i did ask her out and she politely refused - seeing somebody at the time. A couple of years ...
A. 12 July 2006: If she appears interested then ask her again and go for it. Life is too short not too......
x... (read in full...)
She's 19 and I'm 17. I know she likes me, but she tells me I'm "too young"!
Q. Is it impossible for a 17 year old guy to get with a 19 year old girl? I know most girls go for older guys, this one especially, but she is always flirting with me! As a result I have fallen head over heels for her. This is my best friend's...
A. 12 July 2006: Look, I don't think this is about age somuch, as her being a bit of a game player, and a bit too obsessed with what other people think!... (read in full...)
I fancy my teacher at school!
Q. I fancy a teacher at my school who is leaving next friday what do i do?...
A. 12 July 2006: Babe this is a crush. When he leaves he will be out of sight out of mind. I promise you that you will get over it. Honestly!
xx... (read in full...)
So many problems... can this marriage be saved?
Q. How do you know when a marriage has run its course? Is it when after 10 yrs together and your husband still won't compromise on even the smallest thing, like who gets a lie-in at the weekend because he works and you spend all your time raising the...
A. 12 July 2006: You are obviously deeply unhappy and your needs are not being met by your husband. If he is not willing to talk about your problems then you need to at least try realtionship counselling. Does your husband know how deeply unhappy you actually are? ... (read in full...)
My friend has body odour!
Q. my friend at school "beatrice" has bad odors and i am afraid to tell her incase she gets offended, and hits me, she does need to have a wash and clean herself, maby shave but she doesnt realise that she smells real bad, what should i do....
A. 12 July 2006: Tell a teacher or trusted adult and ask them to broach the subject with her.
x... (read in full...)
I don't understand why women have this big problem with porn? Any comments?
Q. As a man, I don't understand why women have this big problem with porn. Porn itself is not the problem. It the person. I look at porn 5-6 times a week. I watch some movies, read stories and Jerk off about 6 times a week. Also make love with my wife ...
A. 12 July 2006: LOL snowbird!!
Porn is ok as long as it doesn't encrouch on a normal *healthy* loving sexual relationship. It IS a problem when one or the other partner begins to feel threatened or devalued by it.
Anyway your view is a little narrow *male an... (read in full...)
My husband don't have an interest in sex with me, just actresses on the computer...
Q. we have been married for 3 years,my husband is no longer interested in having sex with me but i have found that he has been looking at pornography on quite a few occasions,he has admitted that he searches the net for particular actresses and then ...
A. 12 July 2006: If he was doing this alongside a healthy sex life then I would probably tell you not to worry. But as he seems to have traded in a *normal* and healthy sex life for a visual non-threatening one I would say he has some serious issues you both need ... (read in full...)
He views porn and masturbates in bed next to me while I sleep...then denys it. I can't take this anymore! Help
Q. Hi, my bf and i have been together for almost 3 years. I have been finding that he keeps lying about looking at porn and i know for a fact he has as i have found the evidence and have even herd him getting off to it while he though i was in bed asle...
A. 12 July 2006: He has proved he is not interested in your feelings about this. He feels accused by you and so refuses to comprimise about this behaviour that is very obviously hurting you psychologically.
If he will not listen when you try to talk to him once... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and obsessed with sex... How do I stop?
Q. I'm kind of obsessed with sex right now. I go on porn sites and watch live sex cams. What will i do. I really want to stop it. I'm only 14!!!...
A. 12 July 2006: Look at 14 you really should not have access to the internet....or at least internet porn sites. Where are your parents?
secondly a healthy interest in the opposite (or same!) sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Just make sure this interest is s... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 10 July 2006: Stop justifying yourself. You are digging a bigger hole for yourself. If you are so intelligent why are you doing this??
Attraction CAN be controlled you know. Out of sight out of mind and all that.... (read in full...)
My wife won't give me a blowjob. She won't even talk about it!
Q. I am in a perfect relationship in every way except for one thing. I adore oral sex - nothing else quite does it for me - but I haven't had a complete blowjob for 3 years. When I first met my wife, she did it every time - she even swallowed. But afte...
A. 10 July 2006: No blow jobs!!
The end of civillisation as we know it...
heh heh heh... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my science teacher... and he's engaged.
Q. I'm confused on how to act next with this problem. I'm 14 and have recently fallen in love with my science teacher who is roughly ten years older than me, also he has a fiance. This is honestly the first guy I have ever felt totally in love with ...
A. 10 July 2006: This is a crush. A harmless infatuation with somebody who is as unattainable as Robbie Williams or Justin Timberlake. You will grow out of it in time.
x... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get pregnant from dry humping through layers of clothes?
Q. Well my bf and i were dry humping tonight and he got really into it and I think he "went". I was reading another post about this and one of the answers said that its very risky so I'm worried. Here is the situation though. He had on bball shorts a...
A. 10 July 2006: Stop worrying....sperm are super swimmers, but thru clothing....nah!... (read in full...)
My wife revealed her real past and I'm finding it difficult
Q. My wife of 9 years has recently got back in touch with an ex-boyfriend. She admitted a few weeks later to having been on a date with him, but insists nothing happened. However, she felt she could talk to him about everything, and that she was fed up ...
A. 10 July 2006: What has she to be ashamed of. It is a past.... (read in full...)
I adore someone who is not my wife
Q. I have been married for over ten years. I have a loving relationship with my wife, but I know something is missing on my part. I have never adored my wife and don't know how or if I ever can feel this way towards her. We both brought pretty heavy ...
A. 7 July 2006: Hey there oh troubled one!!
I understand what you are going through completely! If you feel brave enough PM me and I will share more!!
I know what you mean about the chuckle tho, I have just read my answer and realised how many typo's I mad... (read in full...)
He ridicules me until I cry!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. and we live together Our current issue involves miscommunication. He gets really defensive and ridicules the things that I say, as if I am not getting my point across (as many times as I may ...
A. 7 July 2006: he gets off on humiliating you.
Do you really want to be with somebody who can only be nice AFTER they have emotionally hurt you.....?... (read in full...)
I adore someone who is not my wife
Q. I have been married for over ten years. I have a loving relationship with my wife, but I know something is missing on my part. I have never adored my wife and don't know how or if I ever can feel this way towards her. We both brought pretty heavy ...
A. 7 July 2006: Adoration to me means loving somebody with out ever seeing/choosing to see their faults. This is impossible. Adoration fro be saved for a being like God - not a mere mortal.
You only ever get the good sides of this person you *adore*. You neve... (read in full...)
I married her out of laziness, now she's pregnant and I worship someone else!
Q. In 1998 a girl invaded my life. Through neglect or simple laziness, I went out with her without complaining, even though she grated with me. She idolised me. Five years on and the relationship was still there, again through my laziness to tell her ...
A. 7 July 2006: I can totally understand how you did this. And I have every sympathy.
It is sometimes easier to settle for the safety of what we know, and we forget that passion does exsist and that love is a two way street. We can settle for what we see as safe... (read in full...)
What is a posh wank?
Q. I've heard my mates talk about it but I'm too embarrased to ask what they're on about.......... What is a "posh wank"?...
A. 3 July 2006: Bunch of perverts......
hehehe... (read in full...)
I have his baby and he won't leave his wife for us. What should I do?
Q. hi everybody im so glad i found this website cause i need advice really bad ok it started in nov of 2004 i started seeing this married man see he told me from the beginning that they were planning on getting divorced so we started seeing each other ...
A. 3 July 2006: walk away
they may not be his biological kids, but they are still his kids if he has been there raising them for her.... (read in full...)
I have his baby and he won't leave his wife for us. What should I do?
Q. hi everybody im so glad i found this website cause i need advice really bad ok it started in nov of 2004 i started seeing this married man see he told me from the beginning that they were planning on getting divorced so we started seeing each other ...
A. 2 July 2006: You want him to leave his wife for you and your child. he has no commitments to her .....sorry he has, he said vows.
Ok, you want to break them up, get in touch with a lawyer and send him a child support demand letter.
chances are they will bre... (read in full...)
What is a posh wank?
Q. I've heard my mates talk about it but I'm too embarrased to ask what they're on about.......... What is a "posh wank"?...
A. 30 June 2006: Is it? I didn't know that either!!... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 23 June 2006: Well come on. Is this really for real? Can you not understand how this must look to an outsider? After all this is a classic story...older married man with no moral fibre (well at least not enough to walk away), young jail bait and a situation ... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 22 June 2006: lol... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 19 June 2006: If this girl has been raped a couple of times to paraphrase your words then you need to back away....now.
She is either a fantasist who thinks this sort of converstaion will get her symapthy...or she is EXTREMELY damaged goods. Were the hell are ... (read in full...)
She lied and said she was older, but now I'm a married man in love with a 14-year-old!
Q. What action should I take? I am a married man in my late twenties, who has fallen for someone much younger. We met in a chatroom last year, when her profile stated she was older. After a while, we spoke on MSN when I noticed that she was actu...
A. 14 June 2006: as an adult YOU should ahve terminated this friendship the minute you noticed her age. YOU should have taken control and stopped these feelings developing. Obviously you think that this is going to be *for life* but she is 14 and I can guarrantee ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my wife and be with my lover, but I can't leave my kids!
Q. We'll I'm 41 yr. old male, I've been married 14yrs and met a wonderful woman 7yrs ago and have been loving each other for the past 7 yrs. I've lied about being married still over the last 7yrs. I love this woman who's not my wife. I want to leave...
A. 6 April 2006: Whoa, you continued to have another child with your wife whilst seeing this so-called *soul-mate* lover....mmmm? Why can I ask did you do that? Have things got too mundane for you at home? Have things stopped giving you athrill like they did at ... (read in full...)
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