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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years. We have been living together for over a year and I love him very much. BUT he is almost totally disinterested in sex. I want to do it all the time and it's got to the point now where I feel like I'm forcing him into it. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (15 July 2006):
 I can understand this problem. But you won't have tried everything yet.
You can ask him to go and have hormaone level blood tests done at his GP's - at least rule out any physical cause before you take the next step of psych-sexual counselling. If these don't work you amy have to learn to live with it or throw in the towel.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (15 July 2006):
 Hey,
maybe he just feels that it's not right? Maybe you should talk to him about it? It'll feel weird but you need to understand how he's feeling so that you can address that situation properly without just charging in there and demanding to know why he won't have sex with you. Think how he would feel then?!
Maybe he could be going through something? A tough time maybe? Talk to him about it - give him some space and he'll sweep you off your feet when he feels he's ready.
Hope this helped,
Phoebe
xxx
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (14 July 2006):
 If you've already tried everything you can to spice things up (videos, toys, lingerie etc.) then you need to speak to him about this. I had the same problem with my boyfriend. He's quite a bit older than me and his sex drive is a lot lower than mine. His was at its worst when he was out of work and struggling for money, maybe your man has something on his mind? If you talk to him, this will give you the opportunity to ask him what's going on and for him to tell you any problems or worries he's having.
If he's not willing to make an effort and at least try to please you, you need to think long and hard about the relationship. This is 2006, women deserve to be pleasured too, it ain't all about men anymore! Good luck and get in contact with me privately if you need any more advice from a woman who's been there (and still is sometimes!)
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