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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Neither of us is ready for parenting, so why do I keep thinking about having his child?
Q. Before I begin, I would really love it if nobody judged me or made fun of me. Because I know my feelings are wrong but I just want to know what is making me feel this way. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for almost 8 months ...
A. 21 August 2014: Totally normal. I had the same feelings when I was 19, with my boyfriend who was 23. So, to combat the feelings, I bought one of those big plastic bins at Target, and every time I would get the urge, I'd go buy some baby stuff. Because let's face ... (read in full...)
I have been invited to spend time with my Bf's elderly grandmother. What can I do there so don't feel like a freeloader?
Q. I'm going away for the Summer, to my boyfriend's grandma place. She's quite the old lady (90 I think) and lives in a very, very small town by the river (the whole town has about 20 houses). She owns a farm, so I'll be getting home cooked meal...
A. 15 July 2014: I know this sounds silly, but make some time for her! Play cards and chat once a day. Along with the help around the house that's been suggested, some socializing I'm sure will be appreciated. I don't know one 90 year old who doesn't enjoy a round ... (read in full...)
My wife of 20 years invites a man to stay the night at our home? Is this weird?
Q. Hi, Is it strange that my wife of 20 years invites another man to stay the night at our house? She apparently arranged this visit several weeks back, but didn't let me know about the plans, ask for my opinion, nor tell me until a few days bef...
A. 15 July 2014: I don't know, I'm leaning towards innocent - just kind of flaky.
She didn't arrange for him to stay over while you were out of town or anything, it doesn't seem like she made plans for them to privately go out while you stayed at home - it seems... (read in full...)
Motherhood is sapping my self confidence.
Q. I am a 22 year old, i use to have alot of confidence, was very bubbly, happy and had a close group of friends. Now i have a child and a boyfriend, and i am very happy with family life, but i just don't do nothing for myself anymore, i know being a ...
A. 11 July 2014: First off, I think you may need to start job hunting for a working environment that you enjoy more and that brings you a little more satisfaction.
Secondly, you need to start setting aside some of that spare change for you. The baby won't re... (read in full...)
I am adopting a mixed race child, how do I style and manage afro hair? I don't want the agency to think I'm unfit.
Q. Hello all I have no family or friends to turn to about this, so I was hoping some of you might be able to help me. I'm a white woman from an entirely white family. I've been through the adoption process and had said that I didn't mind what skin c...
A. 10 July 2014: Hi there,
It all depends on the hair. I'm biracial, but I have very soft, fine hair that has curls. So, a less PC version of describing my hair would be "white" hair with "black" curls.
She could have a coarser, oily hair, or maybe a dry, rou... (read in full...)
Is my Bf's outlook on ever or never having children normal?
Q. So my boyfriend loves kids, and he's so cute playing with them etc. however we've talked and he's on the fence about actually having kids. He's absolutely fine with having them if I want em but he just can't see where people find the time for it. ...
A. 27 May 2014: Totally normal - I felt the same way before I got pregnant, while I was pregnant, and now afterwards I know that in some ways I was wrong, and in some ways I was right.
To be fair, the dog is much easier. But the baby is pretty cool herself.... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 26 May 2014: Agreed, this guy is a total player. And, feels like he can just shower a woman with baubles and money to blind her to his outrageous behavior. Unfortunately, there are a few woman who will put up with a cheater, liar, a flirt, if he's continuing to ... (read in full...)
Any rocker girl band love song ideas?
Q. I need help with a small problem. My boyfriend and I have a cute little thing going where we tell each other to look up cute love songs and then add them to a playlist we have on Grooveshark. He has to look up songs by guy bands and I have to look ...
A. 23 May 2014: Oops, I guess I should have read the thread... Tisha's got you covered on the Lillix front!... (read in full...)
Any rocker girl band love song ideas?
Q. I need help with a small problem. My boyfriend and I have a cute little thing going where we tell each other to look up cute love songs and then add them to a playlist we have on Grooveshark. He has to look up songs by guy bands and I have to look ...
A. 23 May 2014: Cover/pop rock: Lillix "What I Like About You"... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend drinking too much?
Q. I have a question about my girfriend. I think for a woman she drinks quite a bit. I am not a big drinker, may be that's why for me it seems like a lot. She ussualy goes between 7-10 drinks a week. She doesn't drink every day, but when she is out w...
A. 23 May 2014: I think she sounds pretty normal to me. She's not drinking at home, she's not getting hammered or blackout drunk. Two drinks when going out to dinner sounds appropriate. 3-4 drinks with the girls on the weekend, sounds okay to me too.
I assume s... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 20 May 2014: Whoa, okay - big, BIG red flag here...
How exactly are you asking girls out to warrant getting BEER POURED ONTO YOU? Followed by a VISIT FROM THE POLICE?!??!
It's one thing to suffer rejection consistently, but that sort of reaction suggest... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cope with these feelings of being too small!
Q. I need to know who feels the same and how to get rid of these feelings. I feel below women who are more attractive than me (pornstars, glamour models) I feel like they have more power over men, it hurts me. I feel small. I want a boob job. I'm ...
A. 17 May 2014: You got great answers. Back in the day I worked as a bartender at a strip club and I also worked at Victoria's Secret at the time. It was fun and informative. So, consider me a self-proclaimed expert on breasts.
I'm here to tell you that 34B is t... (read in full...)
Found out I was pregnant after we broke up
Q. I have a lot to deal with right now. Some days I'm fine just going about my day, then everything comes back to me and i feel overwhelmed and depressed again. I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my ex's baby. We broke up before i even knew i was pregnant. I...
A. 17 May 2014: Agreed.
Revealing a pregnancy is hard. And given your circumstances, it's just more difficult on top of already being difficult!
Yes, you should tell your ex. Is your family supportive of you? Are you close? If you think that they'll ultimate... (read in full...)
I made a mistake. Now how do I choose between my pregnant wife and unborn child, and the love of my life?
Q. Between 2006 to 2009, I was dating this amazing and wonderful girl, due to the long distance of our relationship, she suggested we take a break from our relationship to finish our education, I was so hurt but I agreed. During this period, an old ...
A. 3 April 2014: Oh geez.
You've got yourself into a real pickle.
I really wish you had seen this coming and not gotten your wife pregnant. I wish you had been thinking with your head and not married her in the first place. But, here we are.
I assume that y... (read in full...)
Do you my find it appropriate for a woman to sit on your husband's lap?
Q. My husband and I were with friends last night. We were playing a party game and my husband drew a card which made him "Santa Claus." Two of our male friends sat on his lap as a joke and I also sat on my husband's lap. But then one of our friends ...
A. 30 March 2014: Okay, I can see why you're uncomfortable. However - it was just a game, he did draw 'Santa Clause" and her boyfriend was right there. Maybe she felt uncomfortable too because she thought everyone was going to do it, but then it was just her and.... ... (read in full...)
Condom wrapper and girl's scarf found in my boyfriend's car… I'm having trouble trusting him! Any advice?
Q. I'm having trouble trusting my boyfriend of a year and a half . I have been burned in the past (cheated on) and am a naturally suspicious person. Here's my dilemma. 1) I found a ripped open condom wrapper in my boyfriends car. Near the drivers...
A. 27 March 2014: Hahaha, "I saw a scarf on the street and thought you'd like it".
You should break up with him solely based on the fact that he would give you a street scarf. Wow.
(Not to mention, if he was going to give it to you - why didn't he? Why d... (read in full...)
Is 26 too late to start a new life?
Q. I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life ...
A. 17 March 2014: 26? Too old? No way.
And if you think it's too old, and you give up... when you're 46, you're going to say to yourself, "why didn't I do something then? I was so young! A baby!! And now I'm too old."
And then when you're 66, you're going to ... (read in full...)
Have any women on here gone to a bar alone?
Q. I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some ...
A. 16 March 2014: Have you ever considered joining a community theater?
Going to the bar is great, but everyone is kind of doing their own thing. If you talk to a guy, most likely he is going to assume that he has a shot getting you to go home with him, and if y... (read in full...)
Why don't I receive much attention from men?
Q. Why do I not receive much attention from the general male population? Before you proceed to trash this email, thinking it comes from some innocent 22-year-old who is fishing for compliments to feed into her sky-high ego, I assure you I am fairly e...
A. 8 March 2014: As I read your post, I thought - well, she seems like a catch... I don't see anything wrong here... but then I saw the way you described your friends and thought, "ahhhh, perhaps I have found something".
Perhaps you come off as a bit cold? Ma... (read in full...)
Women, do you prefer it when a man delays ejaculation?
Q. I just want to find out if delayed ejaculation is necessarily than premature ejaculation where the female perspective is concerned. I sleep on a regular basis with sex workers. Normally, I ejaculate within a minute or tow, sometimes even within ...
A. 2 March 2014: Dude.
Okay, let me just process your question.
Okay.
You are asking about a SEX WORKER. She wants you to get off as quickly as possible so that she can be done with you and move along to the next John, or perhaps get back home to a nice ... (read in full...)
I recently read my old diary and now the urge to contact my first crush is driving me nuts!
Q. I discovered a diary recently from my high school days . Reading through it I became overcome with nostalgia. I had described my first crush in detail as teenagers do, and of course, with social media these days I looked him up online. I found that ...
A. 1 March 2014: Why not friend him on Facebook? You didn't mention if you're single... or if he's single. If you're both married, I don't know that getting together would be a good idea right now, while you're all nostalgic, hot and bothered. But, if you're both ... (read in full...)
Natural birth questions
Q. These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...
A. 1 March 2014: I wanted to go for a medication free birth... I was doing alright, but the labor just kept going. So after about 12 hours, I asked for some pain meds - not the epidural, but just something to lessen the intensity. I could still feel the ... (read in full...)
His drinking is affecting the way I see this relationship
Q. Hi, I've been dating a guy for 6 months, but have known him for a year through a work contact. Since we have become official I have noticed when I call on week day evenings (we only meet at weekends due to distance) he isounds drunk at least 3 times ...
A. 26 February 2014: If you have to step on eggshells out of fear of "saying the wrong thing", that to me is the nail in the coffin for this relationship. He drinks - you aren't crazy about drinking, and you don't see any long term relationship. I think this ... (read in full...)
Husband says he can't make love, but I caught him pleasuring himself! What should I do?
Q. My husband I have been married for 28 years. Second marriage for us both. He is 71 now and I an 10 years younger. The problem is that I still have a healthy sex drive and since my husband turned 65 he has claimed he doesn't get excited anymore....
A. 23 February 2014: I suspect it is much easier for him to masturbate because no one else is depending on his performance. He doesn't have to feel judged for how long it takes to get it up or get off. I do believe that his issues in the bedroom with you are genuine. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I'm a lesbian and get this over with?
Q. Here goes. I've been abnormal from the get-go, okay? All of my friends would blabber on and on about the floppy-haired fellow down the hall while my thoughts gravitated towards the lunch menu. I never seek out any boys myself, but I'll be damned if ...
A. 23 February 2014: You are extremely well spoken for someone your age. Good for you! You sound like you think about things quite a bit and you've done your share of self-analyzing.
Honestly, I think you need to lay off a little bit! You are stressing out about fi... (read in full...)
Almost certain she does like me and I like her. But what can I do? She became distant after discovering her friend likes me.
Q. Hi everyone I need some help. I met a girl at college and we got on really well we'd talk outside college quite often and she'd even text me when I was at work asking how it was going. Then she found out that one of her friends who's in our fri...
A. 20 February 2014: If a friend likes a guy, then as a friend - you have to back off. And it's even more awkward when the guy in question starts pursuing YOU.
I had that happen to me in high school and while I wasn't very interested, my friend who was into him insi... (read in full...)
Ewww!!! It became apparent pretty soon into our first telephone call that he was masturbating at the same time!!
Q. I had been building a 'relationship' with a guy online for about 2 months which started with just messaging, then we emailed, then text...eventually when I felt confident enough we spoke on the mobile phone yesterday. It became apparent pretty soon ...
A. 20 February 2014: Now, you're POSITIVE he was masturbating? Did you ask him what he was doing?
LIke Honeypie says, maybe he was just assuming that's what your relationship was going to be like. If you guys were talking dirty, perhaps he saw this as being about se... (read in full...)
Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?
Q. Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...
A. 13 February 2014: Don't we always want what we don't have?
If you have big boobs, you can tell the world a billion things wrong with them and why small boobs are totally superior.
If you have small boobs, you can do the same - only why you feel like big boobs a... (read in full...)
How much value should I put on something my boyfriend said in his sleep?
Q. My boyfriend was mumbling in his sleep the other night and he said: "no I don't want to get engaged!" Now I know I'm probably being silly but do you think that's how he actually feels? Wish fulfilment and all that. He has expressed that w...
A. 29 January 2014: Stop. Stop your brain.
He was dreaming and that could have meant anything under the sun. What if he was dreaming that he was a squirrel and a possum had proposed - though they were in love, their families were bitter rivals and if they wed, the... (read in full...)
If I make him dinner do I have to include meat?
Q. This is really, I guess, a question about etiquette. I am a vegetarian and the guy that I am seeing is not. He's been doing a lot for me lately and I want to try and return the favor, so I said I would cook him dinner one night soon. My issue is, if ...
A. 27 January 2014: Mmmmm, pesto tortellini...... (read in full...)
This habit is killing me from the inside!
Q. hello .. i am 21 and a virgin... my problem is that though i do gymming and practice yoga at times .. i have a bad habit of masturbating on every alternating days. i don't have any girlfriend . i watch too much of porn and i can't stop myself from ...
A. 20 January 2014: You sound normal to me - you're 21, single, a virgin, horny. You're not mistreating women in any way. Unless you're watching some seriously disturbing porn or you're porn watching is getting in the way of your day-to-day routine, I'd say that you're ... (read in full...)
Missing condoms have raised my suspicions
Q. Dating a great man for about one year and he is not ready to commit. He has been divorced for 5 years and is not ready for a serious relationship ( I know I know I'm stupid for staying loyal to him ) He is 34 and I am 31 I went to his house on Sat...
A. 13 January 2014: Oooh, tricky. Being that I wasn't there, and I don't know the guy, I'm inclined to say that this guy is cheating on you. His excuse is flimsy (the maid threw out all but three of them?), and he is quick to change the subject... yeah, I don't know. ... (read in full...)
I have a fantasy, but is it too 'out there' to share with her?
Q. I have a strong desire to cum in my girlfriend's long hair, but I know it will be really messy and difficult to get out. How can I bring this fantasy up to my girlfriend? Do you think she will think I'm weird? If you are a woman would you allow a ...
A. 12 January 2014: Listen, this is your girlfriend. I don't know how long you've been together, but I'm assuming that it's long enough. She loves you. She enjoys spending time with you. I'm assuming that she enjoys sex with you. If you are having sex then you ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my boyfriend isn't ready
Q. My partner and I are 25 and have been together for 6 years. We moved in together about 6 months ago. We have a good relationship and have always discussed marriage and kids which we both want. I told my boyfriend a few months ago that I wanted to ...
A. 12 January 2014: Well okay, first things first. You're together, you're living together - why not marriage before babies? Marriage is a humungous step in a relationship and one well worth doing before you bring a child into this universe. Having a baby kind of feels ... (read in full...)
Could she be jealous?
Q. My friend always comments on how I'm so confident and always awes at my body. I love her but I think she has huge insecurity issues always talking about girls around us that happen to be beautiful and look good. however she still has a good heart. ...
A. 12 January 2014: There's quite a difference between insecure and jealous. This girl jus sounds terribly insecure. I doubt that she exclusively compares herself to you (jealousy), I am guessing that she compares herself to everybody else (insecurity). People who are ... (read in full...)
Does anal sex usually hurt so much? Should I feel guilty that I had sex?
Q. This might sound kinda crazy but I need to hear if anyone else has had an experience like this. I've been seeing this boy for a little while now and he is super cute. A few days ago he took me on a date to the carnival and we got a little drunk a...
A. 9 January 2014: Don't feel guilty unless he's with someone else or you're using him for something or other. Sounds like you like each other - there's no shame in that. I think going to the carnival together, getting tipsy and having crazy sex in the back of your ... (read in full...)
I love him so how can I tell him I am not ready for marriage?
Q. I've been with the same guy for three years. I love him very much, but like most young love we have problems. A few months ago he told me he didn't love me anymore, we didn't talk for 2 or 3 weeks but like always we kissed and made up. All of a ...
A. 28 December 2013: I don't think it'll hurt his feelings to say, "whooaaa, I like you a lot - I like you a ton, but you know that I'm not ready to even think about getting married, right??".
But if you feel uncomfortable with that, you could go for a more subtle a... (read in full...)
I love him so how can I tell him I am not ready for marriage?
Q. I've been with the same guy for three years. I love him very much, but like most young love we have problems. A few months ago he told me he didn't love me anymore, we didn't talk for 2 or 3 weeks but like always we kissed and made up. All of a ...
A. 28 December 2013: I don't think it'll hurt his feelings to say, "whooaaa, I like you a lot - I like you a ton, but you know that I'm not ready to even think about getting married, right??".
But if you feel uncomfortable with that, you could go for a more subtle a... (read in full...)
Do others have weird turn ons like mine?
Q. This is a strange question but is it weird that I get turned on by guitar solos? Or really anyone who knows how to play guitar very well..And also do you have any weird turn ons that will make me feel a bit more normal about mine? lol....
A. 23 December 2013: Why do you think rock stars have hordes of groupies? That guitar solo, the chicks can't resist it. I'll tell you, my Dad is a world renowned guitarist and I have always been absolutely DISGUSTED with the women that drape themselves shamelessly over ... (read in full...)
Sex doesn't feel good for me, why?
Q. I have recently lost my virginity... We have had sex 3 other times since then. It does not fee; good for me whatsoever, its not really painful unless he goes deep inside but I'm curious if its normal that Im not enjoying it yet. I just feel Im too ...
A. 21 December 2013: I think you need to give it some time. It takes awhile for the pleasures of sex to kick in. Are you having sex with someone who you feel good with, who you feel sexy and comfortable with? Because I'll tell you right now, if you're with the wrong ... (read in full...)
I want to send my friend a letter
Q. Hi guys im really confused and in a place where i require some sort of guidance at the moment, I'm thinking of sending this to a friend who lives in Victoria (I live in Western Australia) and we've known each other for six years whereas she hasn't ...
A. 21 December 2013: Hey there,
I personally wouldn't send this. It'll just create a bunch of drama. Are you just disappointed that you don't see this friend very much? If you want to rekindle the friendship, this is a really passive-aggressive way to do it. Why not ... (read in full...)
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