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Is 26 too late to start a new life?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2014) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2014)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life hell for the past 7 years stifled any potential that I had to achieve the life that I want to live.

But now I look at my life and realise I don't have much to live for, what ever it was that essentially sucked the life right out of me has left me with no job, no qualifications, no friends, no girlfriend (ever) and I feel like no woman will ever want me, no skills, no hobbies and virtually no money.

Besides my parents my family are literally all backstabbers and schemers who I can't trust one bit.

I want to get into shape and start my studies and give it my best shot. But I don't know where to start and feel i'm too old to really be able to really achieve any prominence (career, social life, love life etc).

Is it too late to start now?

View related questions: money

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (17 March 2014):

Danielepew agony aunt26 years of age is like only getting started. Get started anew. You're young, man.

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A female reader, Venessa07 Iceland +, writes (17 March 2014):

Education has no age limit, no race, no gender all you need is a little determination. Find out things that depresses you and kick it out of you life. Kick alcohol because its not a solution. Now that you dont have money first make some get a job some partime job. When you work set a goal, like I need to make so much money and then save it go to college. you will find friends, because you are not alone!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014):

If you are worried about being too old then that tells you that we live in a massively age-ist society. Something really, really needs to be done about this - the way that we treat older people in the West is, for the most part, all the wrong way around.

You have internalised what is actually a social and political bias to pressure the young to achieve, and this relieves many countries of responsbility to do more to create better conditions for their older people.

Try to see it that way - I'm not saying slack off because you are young, but be kind to yourself and encourage yourself and do the same when you meet someone older than you who is trying really hard to sort things out.

ATasteof India is absolutely right about looking back in time and wishing you'd done something. But you have to value yourself in order to be able to put any action plan in motion. Treat yourself as if you were talking to and trying to encourage the kindest and loveliest person in the world, but who thinks badly or poorly of themselves. Would you put them down and hurt them? Or would you tell them how great they are and try to help? That's what you need to do to you.

Good luck.

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A female reader, brock24 United States +, writes (17 March 2014):

brock24 agony auntIt is NEVER to late to get your life together, now that you have over come you Anxiety's and depression the sky is the limit. Go out there and do whatever you want and never let your fears or doubt get in the way. If you just put the work in you will see results. Always believe in your self anything is possible you have already proved it by overcoming your anxiety's.

Best of luck!!!! :)

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (17 March 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIts never too late and you are never too old. I ahve started over a few times, aged about 21, again 36, and 40 and more recently in my 50s (so far so good).

Go on, what are you waiting for!

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A female reader, Marilissa75 United States +, writes (17 March 2014):

Marilissa75 agony auntI decided at the age of 26 to get a college education. I was working full time and it took many years to complete, including some breaks, but was worth it. I changed my life. I am still changing my life more than a decade later. Life is about growth and change. You can achieve your dreams. Start within, looking at yourself and how you can improve your relationships and learn to communicate well. Read self improvement books. I recommend The Slight Edge. Find a mentor. Go talk to a career guidance counselor at your local college. Some are better than others, so do not be discouraged if you have to go to more than one. Read books. Ask questions. Open yourself to all the possibilities out there. I would love to be 26 again! I wish I had taken more advantage of that time in my life although I am pleased to have made some accomplishments thus far based on decisions I made at that age. Best of luck!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (17 March 2014):

TasteofIndia agony aunt26? Too old? No way.

And if you think it's too old, and you give up... when you're 46, you're going to say to yourself, "why didn't I do something then? I was so young! A baby!! And now I'm too old."

And then when you're 66, you're going to tell yourself the same thing about you at 46. Then when you're 86, you're finally going to start changing and then soon after you'll probably be dead.

So, let's not waste time. You're young. You're in charge. You have a universe of possibilities. Get cracking, so at 86 you can tell your grandkids how you turned your life around when you were young and LOOK AT YOU NOW! You can strut around town like a peacock!

You got this, buddy. You got this.

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A female reader, like I see it United States +, writes (17 March 2014):

like I see it agony auntNot at all! I'm your age and will be doing the same - voluntarily! - in about six months. I've spent the last four years at a job I worked very hard to get and ended up hating. I was good at it because I made it my business to be good at it, but in the end it was not at all what I expected. Rather than stay somewhere I wasn't happy for another 26 years, I decided to do something about it.

I have quit that job, am about to go backpacking for approximately half a year, and will be starting school (for something else entirely) when I get back in the fall.

None of my credentials from the old field transfer in any way to the new, so like you I will be without a job and starting again from scratch. Maybe I should be terrified, but I honestly feel like I have gone from being stuck in a funnel leading somewhere I don't want to go to a wide, open space with room to move in any direction I desire.

Lots of people who are unhappy in what they chose at 18 would actually LOVE to be in your shoes. They hate their jobs but have been dependent on them for long enough that stepping into the unknown is too scary and they never do it. They've gotten too used to the paychecks and tied themselves to mortgages and car payments, and their fate is basically sealed. They'll spend half their lives doing something they don't enjoy. It's honestly heartbreaking if you really sit back and think about it.

Try this: instead of saying to yourself "I don't have much to live for," realize that what you *don't* have is much to tie you down to something you don't love doing or somewhere you aren't happy.

Start studying whatever it is you want to pursue. Get a part-time job to help pay for it. Try not to take on any more debt than necessary. Just being at a college or university will bring you into contact with so many new people, and you WILL make friends and gain confidence. You'll meet girls you like. Be brave and ask them out. The one who's right for you will say yes.

There is so much potential in the life ahead of you if you can let go of your past disappointments and stop looking backwards at what you feel you haven't done, or have failed at. Chase your dreams with courage and tenacity and you WILL have the life you want someday.

Best wishes!

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (17 March 2014):

llifton agony auntAre you kidding? At 26, you're at an advantage. Most teenagers at the age of 18 are way too immature to handle college/university and wind up drinking it all away and partying and failing out. I was one of those. I didn't fail out, but I didn't get the grades I needed to further my education for my future career, so I had to spend years digging myself out of the hole I had created for myself when I was younger. I always said I wished I'd started school later when I was more mature so that I could get as much out of it as possible. Now I'm in law school at the ripe old age of just turning 30. So I won't be finished with school until I'm 33 at the least. But I'm as happy as can be and hell no, I'm not too old to get myself started! I'm the perfect age. :)

You're so young, man. Just because you missed a handful of years means nothing. don't let your past prevent you from having the future you desire.

Start school, go to the gym, build confidence, make friends, go out, date girls, get your heart broken a few times (it's inevitable), and gain as much life experience as possible. And believe me, once you've built the life you want for yourself, you'll look back at how far you've come and feel an unbelievable amount of accomplishment.

You got this. Keep your head up. It's never too late to start building the life you want for yourself. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2014):

ITS NEVER TOO OLD!!! my life was a total train wreck growing up and till just a few years ago...seriously. i finally had enough and changed my life. i stopped letting guys treat me like crap, i lost a whole bunch of weight and just basically started living a healthier life. 5 years later and noone believes me when i tell them how i used to be. btw im 42 now.

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