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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why was she hesitant to give me a kiss? Before that we talked.Any suggestions on how I could have handled it?
Q. I would just appreciate opinions on the following: I was sitting alone in a venue in the early hours, when a girl sat near me and started talking to me. Which is quite unusual for a female to do at 2am. The normal thing they do is stand around g...
A. 11 August 2013: So, let me get this right...
It's 2am. There is a girl waiting for a taxi. She makes some chit chat. You don't find her attractive, ask her out or give her any indication that you're interested. FIFTEEN MINUTES into your chat, you assume that she... (read in full...)
If I tell her that I've been waiting for her, I'm afraid I'll lose her friendship
Q. So im 27, never had a relationship, g/f, kissed, sex, etc... So i went out last night with a friend that ive had a crush on for 12 years and it just tears me up inside knowing that she is just my friend. If i tell her that over the years the reas...
A. 11 August 2013: To be fair, you haven't said anything to her for all this time. Open your freakin' mouth! Could be that she thinks that this is friendship - that maybe you're attracted to her, but how in the world could she know that you're WAITING for her, when ... (read in full...)
The more successful I become, the more friends I lose! Why?
Q. I feel like the more I get older and the more successful I become then the more I lose my female friends. Please someone explain how or why? I'm 35 years old and it hurtful and confusing. ...
A. 11 August 2013: It could be that your friends are jealous of your success, and seeing you climb the ladder makes them feel worse about their own positions in life. They feel like they work just as hard, and it's hard to watch you be so fortunate.
It could al... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or do I expect too much from my bf?
Q. For my bday my boyfriend (29 years old) got me Chanel No.5 perfume (kind of strange to me as I was turning 24 and I know this is a much more "mature" perfume). The problem isn't so much with my preference though, my problem is more with how he went ...
A. 10 August 2013: Girlfriend, some people are just crappy gift givers.
So he's not the most creative guy, so he's not terribly heartfelt-thougtful. But it's not as if he didn't do ANYTHING for your birthday, this year or last. He did put some effort into things -... (read in full...)
I overheard someone make a rather unpleasant remark about my appearance and now my confidence is at an all time low!
Q. Hello there. I just need a bit of help guess. The other day I was walking on the train and I walked past this boy with his girlfriend and I heard him make a rather unpleasant remark about my appearance. Now I know I’m not anything special, but I’ve ...
A. 10 August 2013: Oh boy, do I want to go to that train station and smack that guy upside the head. And then I want to give you a hug and take you out for a stiff drink while we hate on that idiot who opened his stupid, crap-spewing mouth.
Girlfriend, we all have... (read in full...)
He's been seeing a male prostitute for friendship?
Q. I'm 36, and my husband's 40, we have a 15-year-old daughter. He admitted last night that he'd been going to a male prostitutes to "talk" and have a few beers, and even gave me his mobile number! My husband also said no sex was involved and tha...
A. 9 August 2013: Seriously, why is your husband PAYING for friendship? Is he that unlikeable? Can he not go down to the bar and drink a few beers, talk with some dudes and watch sports on the television?
Having gay friends does not make you gay, but paying t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's phone CONSTANTLY beeps and his friends won't take him off the group message. It's driving me insane!
Q. My boyfriend is a great guy who treats me well. The only issue I have is he recently got an iphone and his group of friends (3 girls and 4 guys) have him on a group message. Now, precious to his getting an iphone he wasn't on any similar group text ...
A. 8 August 2013: Yeah, is there a reason that he can't have his message alerts set to "silent"? ... (read in full...)
Feeling sexually amped -- except with my wife
Q. I've been married for 5 years with two kids. Lately I've had little sexual attraction to my wife but I still watch porn and stuff. Lately, I've been getting hit on by female coworkers, one in particular (gorgeous). Lately, I've felt particularly ...
A. 8 August 2013: Okay, let's backtrack here. There's a lot of information missing.
Do you and your wife have sex? How is it? Has it been changing? Is your wife changing? Are your tastes changing? What is your relationship like, and why do you think it's gotten t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to spice things up but I'm worried that things would be weird between us afterwards
Q. Hi There, I wanted to get some advise from anyone who might have been in my position. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and we have always had a fairly normal and active sex life. We've never been very experimental before, but he's...
A. 8 August 2013: Well, if the sex was good then it changes things for the better! It turns into a fun little dirty secret that you can share.
I mean, sharing these intimate details with you is a pretty big deal. It takes a lot of trust to reveal these inner fa... (read in full...)
Will sex always feel like something too big is going in you?
Q. I think it is normal for our first time feel like fitting some thing big into a our vagina which is too small. Will this feeling appear in the 2nd time also? ...
A. 7 August 2013: It's totally normal for it to still be awkward and "too big" the second time. For me and my fella it took a MONTH for us to get it right and for my body to adjust to his size. So don't worry too much, and don't pressure your body. Maybe it will hurt ... (read in full...)
My brother's wife cheated and doesn't know who the father of her baby is!
Q. So my sister in law cheated on my brother for two years and now she's pregnant but doesn't know who the baby's dad is. Great! I'm so mad at her I could hit her and mind you i'm not a violent person at all. I've never hit anyone out of anger in my ...
A. 7 August 2013: It's completely understandable that you would be angry and not really know how to approach this baby, but my hope is that you will treat this baby extra tenderly. Let's face it - this baby is coming into the universe being a catalyst for a lot of ... (read in full...)
I think I may be gay and I'm really angry with myself. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Q. Hi. I'm hoping for a little help if possible. I'm 27 and I think I may be gay. I've always found myself admiring other women and their bodies but ignored my feelings. I have been quite angry and destructive for a long time and I think it may hav...
A. 5 August 2013: Hi sweetness,
Here's my question - do you love your boyfriend? Are you attracted to him? It doesn't sound like you're very attracted to him, even if you think he's a great guy. And if you're not attracted to him, then you probably shouldn'... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is asking questions about my past that I don't know how to answer without causing upset!
Q. As per the title my gf likes to try and find out about my past. It sometimes catches up with me, one of her friends is going out with someone who i used to know. Small world. Anyway, my gf has asked me "if i have ever had more than one gf at t...
A. 5 August 2013: Well, here's the thing - you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you tell her the truth, it could be a deal breaker and she could walk away. But, if you lie about it - then if she already knows or finds out the truth, then not only ... (read in full...)
I need to get over my insecurities.
Q. Im not sure where to start. I only had one serious girlfriend before my wife. Sure we had sex, but I was only 19, lived with my parents and she lived with hers. Our sexual activities were mostly in the backseat of my truck, with a few nights in a ...
A. 4 August 2013: Oh, for the love of...
Yessss, it's your ego making you wonder all this. You are looking at a forest and you're seeing a gorgeous tree and you're thinking, "probably some other guy has see this before", and it's RUINING the beauty right in front... (read in full...)
Any ideas about cooking a romantic meal for my boyfriend, including cooking in the nude?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years . I need some help. I’m planning on cooking a romantic meal for my boyfriend Any ideas on what to cook for my boyfriend? Have any of you cooked in the nude? Any ideas about that? I want to...
A. 4 August 2013: Maybe you could COOK wearing clothes, but you could SERVE it in some lingerie and heels?
Unless you're making him cereal, I wouldn't deal with anything that involves a stove, oven, knives, etc. in the nude. That just seems like a disaster... (read in full...)
I ended the relationship because she wasn't ready to have sex, now I feel that I was an idiot.
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago. The reason for it was that she was a virgin and did not feel ready for sex. At first I did not think this was a problem but after four months I was starting to get frustrated, although I did not show ...
A. 2 August 2013: Story time!
My fella was kind of a man-whore in his day. Most of his relationships didn't last for more than 4-5 weeks at the most. He'd pretty much have fun dating them, get his and then he'd move on. But, when he started dating me (I was 19, ... (read in full...)
I suck at riding my man. Can someone explain the motion to me?
Q. Every time I try to have sex in the woman on top position it feels awkward. I feel like I'm not moving properly and it doesn't feel good for my boyfriend. I tried to watch porn videos and read about it to learn how to move but it's not helpful. ...
A. 29 July 2013: Here is my advice...
You have to practice, practice, practice to build muscle in the right places and to get your stamina up. It does take a lot of practice to figure out exactly which part of your body that you need to be moving. Mostly the acti... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian if I watch lesbian porn?
Q. i have been married for 20 years now. i find that i now like to masturbate watching lesbian porn. i especially like seeing another woman licking another woman's pantiei. when my husband and i watch lesbian porn together I want him to give me ...
A. 26 July 2013: Hey, I'm a married woman and like gay porn, and I am pretty positive that I am not a gay man. At least last I checked.
Watching lesbian porn does not make you a lesbian. You are only a lesbian if you want to be exclusively with women for the rest... (read in full...)
How do I resolve my feelings about my sexuality? Should I wait until I have my first crush on a girl?
Q. I think im bi. Not completely positive, but i will see another girl sometimes and be totally turned on. Like girls my age. i KNOW i like boys though. but i dont know how to tell my parents or anything. its so wierd. I dont really know what im asking ...
A. 26 July 2013: Agreed. Don't worry so much!! There is no need to throw yourself into a box this early in life, if at all. Maybe you're gay, straight, bi, who knows? You are young and your hormones are all over the place - you will settle into a sexuality that ... (read in full...)
I have a thing for redheads so how do I ask my g/f to dye her hair red?
Q. I'll admit it, I've always had a thing for redheads. My current girlfriend (who's an awesome person) is a burnette but dyes her hair more of a lighter black. I think she would look great if she dyed it red, because she has a fair skin tone with ...
A. 25 July 2013: How long have you been dating her, and how often does she dye her hair?
If you've been dating for awhile, and your relationship is super comfortable, then before her next appointment just ask, "hey - have you ever thought about going red?". S... (read in full...)
He's living with his mistress and driving her SUV only 2 weeks of leaving our home.
Q. I had my husband of 15 years to move out of our home because I discovered more evidence that he's having an affair. He moved out, but refuses to talk to me about anything. He's been doing this every time I try to talk to him. The isolation from our ...
A. 20 July 2013: Well, you kicked him out and he left. Now he's settled with the other woman.
I don't think there's much you can do about him anymore.
I think there's plenty that you can do about yourself!
Maybe talking to a counselor would be worth your ... (read in full...)
My American wife green eyes scare me during sex
Q. I'm Pakistan and two months back I came to US on fiance visa to marry my American Fiance whom I met through internet. We got married one month ago. I'm 33 and my wife is 34. She is beautiful, caring and loving. I have been confronting a very strange ...
A. 19 July 2013: You got some great advice. Here's my two cents...
Give it some time! You've only been married a month. I suspect that this will be one of the things that you grow to love about her, something that makes her unique and special just for you. I c... (read in full...)
I want to give my boyfriend the best blow job in the morning, any tips how can I start?
Q. Okay, so my boyfriend always tell me that It would be great if I give him a bj in the morning. But can anyone tell me how will I start? I'm afraid that when I start it in the morning he will stop me because he is still sleepy or not in the mood, you ...
A. 19 July 2013: Waking up your fella this way can be a lot of fun. The key to making this successful is to go niiiicceee and sloooowwwww. Go too fast or hard, it can startle him awake - if you go nice and slow, then his body will rouse, maybe his dreams will get ... (read in full...)
Does that sound like he was keen to come and see me?
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted some opinions on my situation. About three weeks ago I hooked up with a guy in a band (they were on tour). He gave me his number and we had been texting back and forth for about two weeks. He's not from my state so I went ...
A. 16 July 2013: Well... maybe he'll come down to see you. But I wouldn't get my hopes up that he's looking for a relationship or that even upon meeting you, he'll swoon and be turned from a tomcat to an inside cat. He sounds like he's "down to party", which means ... (read in full...)
Do we just need perseverance to be able to have sex?
Q. Hi I'm a 24 year old male who had been in a long term relationship for three years and then ended it fairly recently. I am now seeing someone else who is 23 and a virgin. I've had sex with a few girls before but never with someone who was a virgin...
A. 12 July 2013: When I lost my virginity at 19, it took us a MONTH to get it right and get him inside me. And he was a guy who had been with approximately 30 chicks before me. Incidentally, I ended up married to that guy - I didn't see that coming, but here we are ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I slept with his father for sex?
Q. This may sound like something off Jerry Springer, but I've been in a sexual relationship with a guy on and off for 3 years. He's very attractive, a lean, skinny, tall, hippie, mixed with Captain Morgan , James Franco looking pot head with Mick ...
A. 6 July 2013: You're right, it is one of those "so crazy it must be true" stories.
But here's the thing. I don't think you need to bring up the father at all. Because like the first poster said, I don't think there's any healthy relationship here despite ... (read in full...)
Should I quit something I love (weed) in hope of happiness?
Q. Not a relationship question but advice please, right I have been smoking weed for about 10 years now and I still love it, I don't like alcohol as much for many reasons. Now my life is quite boring as I go to work, go home get high, go to a fr...
A. 6 July 2013: Hey bud (hah?),
Reefer can be really great, put you on a different plane, it can be used as creative enhancement or even as an aid towards ridding yourself of depression.
However, there comes a time when it's no longer being used productivel... (read in full...)
I absolutely hate the degree that I'm doing and cant even get myself to finish it but what will my parents say?
Q. Hi guys, I know this isn't the usual kind of question but i've been on this site before and always been impressed with the advice and guidance given so i thought i'd try it out. I've spent the past 3 years doing a degree that i shouldn't ...
A. 3 July 2013: I just finished up my double major in Psychology and Theater. I don't remember what idiotic part of me decided that Psychology would be a good idea, because as it turns out - I suck at it when it comes to the statistics, and the formulaic style ... (read in full...)
Is it strange, or just a part of life?
Q. Why do i feel like i want a boyfriend? Its fustrating because i don't even have feelings for anyone, and i haven't for quite a while. Is this just part of being a teen? What can i do about this? ...
A. 10 June 2013: Don't worry, you're totally normal. It's part of being a teen, but it's also just part of being human. Most people want companionship, they want a partner and that kind of connection.
What you DON'T want to do is date some guy just because ... (read in full...)
Does this sound normal for "down there"?
Q. Hey guys, this is embarrassing but for like the last couple years its look like there was another little hole or tear under the vagina hole there or some thing and iv ignored it but today i opened it more and noticed its like 3 litle diffrent flabs ...
A. 17 May 2013: Have you been to the gynecologist? A proper doctor would notice if something was amiss. And, you could talk to them about your fears about whether or not you appear "normal".
I'm sure you're just fine!! And your husband will think you're beautifu... (read in full...)
Am I in danger of crossing the line with this older married man?
Q. We work together in the same gym. He is married. I am single. He is 15 years older than me. Our relationship in the last couple of months has become much more friendly. He always found me attractive and there was the long, lingering eye co...
A. 17 May 2013: I'm just going to answer your questions one by one.
1) Are you in danger of crossing the line?
If you feel like you are, then you probably are.
2) Is he unhappy with his wife and has he fallen for you?
Well, it's not to say whether... (read in full...)
Planning to adopt a child and want to give them a name
Q. I'm a single woman and I'm starting the adoption process. Being a single parent doesn't bother me because I don't need a man to complete me and I was raised by a single father and I always knew I was loved unconditionally - I didn't need a mum ...
A. 30 April 2013: My aunt adopted my cousin - who is like a brother to me. What she did was she kept his given first name as his middle name.
I imagine that you could also give the child a middle name of your choosing, if the child is a bit older and would li... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian?
Q. So im 14, I HAVE ALWAYS ALWAYS liked boys. I have many pictures of male celebs on my wall and phone. I have always made sure i looked good when a hot boy has walked past. Tried to impress boys make them like me. Started friendships and formed ...
A. 30 April 2013: Honey, you are fourteen. You have hormones aplenty going crazy inside of you, and you're just starting to figure out your sexuality. Don't be so quick and desperate to throw yourself into a box!
You've got a lot of time to date boys and if a gir... (read in full...)
He resents me for revealing to others he is a cross-dresser. Can I fix this?
Q. So I completly messed up my relationship. When we fell on hard times over a year ago I told my not so best friend that my boyfriend was a cross dresser. Honestly I am pretty inky I like it. Well she tossed it in his face cats out of the bag now and ...
A. 20 April 2013: You apologize again and again, you grovel, you give him the space that he needs etc. Honestly, I don't think you can fix this. You were the first and only person he's told and that is a HUGE secret. I'm sure that it's a secret that he could be ... (read in full...)
Did my panicking ruin my relationship for good?
Q. Hi! My boyfriend and I broke up after two and a half years together at the end of January because of my over the top overreacting and how I handle things sometimes. It started out as a break but I panicked and it turned into a break up. I kept...
A. 20 April 2013: I severely doubt that he will come back around.
Girl. Calling over 5 times if it is not a 100% EMERGENCY is NOT OKAY. Emergency as in: someone is in the hospital. You just got into a horrific car accident. Somebody broke into your house.
... (read in full...)
Our sex life changed after she read those books and now I don't know if she is teaching me a lesson or what to do now.
Q. my wife of 20 years about 6 months ago started reading the 50 shades books and after 19.5 years of marriage and basic sex every 10-14 days she started wanting sex more and more which doesnt sound bad but eventually started doing things she never did ...
A. 18 April 2013: Well, it sounds like you probably embarrassed her! If you called her a "sex freak" or treated her like one, then she probably is feeling a little bit humiliated.
Why don't you try reading the books? True, they are terrible example of literary... (read in full...)
Why would he want her to come to our wedding when I don't feel comfortable
Q. my boyfriend has a female friend but i have only heard them talk very briefly a handful of times in 7 yrs but we are arguing about him wanting her to come to our wedding. i dont feel comfortable about there friendship, due to what seems to be ...
A. 17 April 2013: I'm not sure why you're getting upset over this.
Really, he's inviting her to your WEDDING. The time when he stands in front of the world and tells them exactly how much he adores you, loves you and commits to you for the rest of his life. An... (read in full...)
What is the best and worst pickup line you've ever heard?
Q. Pickup lines have been used on both men and women. Some are good, some are very, very bad, but we can all agree that they’re pretty funny. Share with us any good or bad ones you've heard. Feel free to list more than one!...
A. 8 April 2013: "My name is _____, but they call me the Unicorn. Because I'm hung like a horse and I'm horny."
*sigh*... (read in full...)
Is sleeping with your housemate really such a bad idea??
Q. I have been living with a couple of girl room mates or should i say house mates as we do not share the same rooms for a while now. I initially found nothing attractive about them but recently, one of them has been catching my eyes and attentions. ...
A. 8 April 2013: Yes, I think this is bad news. It's just begging for drama.
What happens if you sleep together and then either you or her want more and the other doesn't? What about if the sex is really terrible and awkward and then you're stuck not only see... (read in full...)
I'm Atheist and dating a Christian man. Are we likely incompatible?
Q. I've been friends with this guy since I was 17 (We are both 22 now). Although we lost touch after high school graduation, we recently met again for dinner and coffee. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward like I thought it might be. We had a wonderful ...
A. 5 April 2013: Well okay, it seems that some are assuming that this guy is a super conservative, bible-thumping Jesus maniac who a) believes in hell and b) believes you're going there, and c) will brainwash any offspring you may have.
Man.
There are def... (read in full...)
We are fine, until we go out with friends...
Q. So I have been with my girl friend for 17 months now. We are perfect for one another when we are alone, we both feel like we are weird in our own way and it is rare to find people who get me. I do love her but recently some of her actions are making ...
A. 19 March 2013: Okay, I'm not sure that I get where you're coming from. Like, at all. Perhaps you can further explain why this irritates you so much...
But right now, I really feel bad for your girlfriend. She goes out with a group of your friends who she does... (read in full...)
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