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Should I take up my boyfriends parents' offer and move in with them for a while?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 September 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 September 2015)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I live with my mother and step father who I feel and believe are being abusive towards me. What I mean by this is that my step father says horrible things to me when he's mad and has grabbed me and has hurt me a few times. He has a bad anger problem and I would say I'm scared of him.

My mother lets my step father do these things to me saying he is allowed to discipline me this way when necessary. My mother and I don't really have a nice relationship and its like she's emotionally detached from me. I know I'm not perfect but I know I don't deserve this.

I've been in a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend. His family is very nice to me. Him and his family are aware of my situation at home and have recently told me I could stay with them for a while if I wanted to.

I am not really sure if I should move in with them only because I would feel like I'm a freeloader and just feel weird in general. I would of course help pay my way and help around the house, but still.

On the other hand I don't have anywhere else I could go but I really want to get out of my parents house. What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2015):

Oh my gosh....let us see you are between 18 and 21.Get a job and move out.How hard is that?Even if you are in school full time you can still work 8 hours a day and live with roommates.You can also get foodstamps and a free cell phone from our government.Do not tell me there are no jobs mickey d is always looking.Or waitress..I did that and I tell you it is a great way to make money fast like you need to get out.Join the military..In a few years they will give you lots of money for collage and better paying jobs after that.I had my own place at 16.How?I got a job.You can do it too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2015):

yes accept the offer. and move immediately. If possible try and find a place for yourself and your bf in a years time. maybe it will be a stepping stone for both of you all.

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A female reader, Giovanna United Kingdom +, writes (26 September 2015):

My dear,

I already had problems and get out from my mother's house because of her boyfriend. It's very hard but isn't impossible and, if you think you can't survive without them, you're very wrong. I guess you have to get out and, if you need help of your's boyfriend parents, accept it. Just don't keep yourself in a place that holds your progress and kill your hopes a little everyday.

I, with 17 years and no help, survived for it when I got out, you can do it too, girl. If you have grandparents they can help you too, they ever realize this kind of thing and can care about you if you need.

I really hope I can help you.

Good luck.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (25 September 2015):

janniepeg agony auntYes you should take it, until you can stand on your own feet or you get married, whichever comes first. When you've been mistreated for a long time, you start to believe that you don't deserve kindness. it would be overwhelming to accept. I think with people who can offer you warmth and care, you would move forward in life more gracefully. When a domestic situation is unbearable, it's hard to dream and achieve goals. I don't think your in laws would feel you are a burden at all. More likely, they feel compelled to help you and are glad to have a new family member.

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