Like what
she writes?
... Add *anniepeg to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
|
|
I can't make sense of this sexual stuff!
Q. Hello everyone... first post here, wanting to discuss something thats been happening for a while now and have never had any input from anyone else on the subject due to it being a pretty embarrassing to say the least. Anyway i have been with m...
A. 31 January 2016: If I recount on my own abusive relationship more than a decade ago, there were indeed parts of it that I enjoyed. But overall it's a horrible experience. Maybe she said she enjoyed giving blow jobs to soften the trauma, when in fact it only reminded ... (read in full...)
Why am I only attracted to troubled women?
Q. I've wondered this for a while. Why am I only attracted to troubled women? Or women who are either bad for me or I can't have? I've never, ever had trouble in the female department. In fact, I would say I've been very fortunate. I've always b...
A. 31 January 2016: What is healthy and normal is really restrictive. Beneath it is some wild creature who wants to act out. People with issues seem to be more authentic than people who want to do the right thing, contribute to society. In short is, real life is ... (read in full...)
My wife of 22 years has no remorse over her cheating. Should we divorce, or do what we want?
Q. I just found out that my wife cheated on me and not the first time and she does not even feel remorse. We have been married for 22 years, both in our 40s. She looks amazing for her age. Men always liked her. we have a grown child and empty nesters....
A. 31 January 2016: Open relationships would not be a good deal for you. Your wife looks amazing but she won't have sex with you, and you have a pot belly. For casual sex to work you need to look as hot as your wife. The only women who would want an affair with you are ... (read in full...)
Do I have a toxic relationship with my parents?
Q. Do I have a toxic relationship with my parents? I live in a strict Asian household (think Tiger mom). It is going to be a lengthy post so please be patient with me. -When I was younger, my parents would ignore me and give me the cold shoulder if...
A. 30 January 2016: Toxic by western standards is emotional abuse. Lots of yelling, demeaning and substance abuse in the household. What Asian families do is prepare the next generation to be money making machines, ready for tight competition. They felt like if they ... (read in full...)
Am I over sensitive about the mean things my husband says to me?
Q. Hello I am a middle aged woman and have been married for 12 years. My husband is in his early 60s. Our marriage has had its up and downs but we have made progress, we are both from different countries. We live in Canada. My family live in UK. ...
A. 30 January 2016: Maybe the font of your name is big and it looked intimidating. Husbands who love their wives dearly are a little bit afraid of upsetting them. "Choke" would mean take heed, don't mess with, get serious, etc.
What husband says this? Just long time... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about my past to get his sympathy. Should I come clean?
Q. 3 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy it was a really difficult for me as the guy took me very casually and I took the relationship very seriously. initially I thought that I could change his habits and mend his ways but things got worse ...
A. 30 January 2016: You didn't have sex so there's nothing to be ashamed of. Even you did have sex it's still nothing to be ashamed of. What you didn't like was that you felt like you were played as a fool, and you thought you could change a man. A man should not be ... (read in full...)
I feel everyone will hate me if I see more of this guy. What do I need to do?
Q. I have been going out with my current boyfriend for 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs but for the last few months we have had a smooth patch. As we starting going out quite young (ish) the relationship has sometimes made me a little i...
A. 30 January 2016: Some people have a stronger magnetism than others. It doesn't have to mean anything other than he has a strong presence, and he's not one to be standing on the side lines. The eye contact does not mean you are soulmates or that he will make you more ... (read in full...)
Am I over sensitive about the mean things my husband says to me?
Q. Hello I am a middle aged woman and have been married for 12 years. My husband is in his early 60s. Our marriage has had its up and downs but we have made progress, we are both from different countries. We live in Canada. My family live in UK. ...
A. 30 January 2016: You are loved by your husband and loved by your work place. Maybe you are very serious, hard working and your anxiety is your body telling you you need a break. Your husband did not make that comment about choking to make you feel bad. Your anxiety ... (read in full...)
I lied to my boyfriend about my past to get his sympathy. Should I come clean?
Q. 3 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy it was a really difficult for me as the guy took me very casually and I took the relationship very seriously. initially I thought that I could change his habits and mend his ways but things got worse ...
A. 28 January 2016: You should let it go. Maybe your ex did cheat on you. It would be easy because of the distance. What you should have told him was that you thought he was serious, but he wasn't. Keep it simple. No need to be victimized and dramatic about it. You are ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my emotions over this bad break-up? Feel sick with jealousy, anger, hurt and sadness
Q. Hi everyone. So I broke up with my ex girlfriend and ended up exploring my bisexual side. Since September 2015 I have been seeing This guy our meets were intense and we ended up having sex. I freaked out for a couple of weeks and ignored him. He ...
A. 27 January 2016: One thing I learned is that, sometimes break up feelings has nothing to do with how good a relationship was, or how good the partner was. It's not even about comparing the new guy he's having. You can say it's your ego that got bruised but it's not ... (read in full...)
I think her behaviour equals "playing games" with me. What should I do in this situation?
Q. I started talking to a girl and we hit it off straight away. We began talking as if we were together, everything got stressful, it was too much. We stopped speaking for a bit, to which she proposed we could be together in the future and whatn...
A. 27 January 2016: Playing games is what people usually do when one of them cares too much to drive the other away. So it's advised to tune it down to make the other miss you. I've never heard people playing games when you are already wearing your heart on your ... (read in full...)
I broke his heart because he said No to exclusivity. What causes fear of commitment?
Q. I met a wonderful man online (26) and we dated for two months. We were basically BF and GF without the title, and it was the perfect relationship. We never established or assumed exclusivity but considering all factors it’s highly unlikely he was ...
A. 27 January 2016: He easily said no because he knew you deserved someone who does not have commitment problems. He loved you enough to let you go. He comes across as a loner, a free spirit who would feel very restricted in a relationship. Black sheep to me means ... (read in full...)
Does my independence turn him off? I'm not chasing him!
Q. Cutting long story very short, I met up with my first love last summer. We had a few dates. Its like no time had past although it has been about 14 years since I last saw him. We got on so well. Eventually we became intimate. Happened twice. ...
A. 26 January 2016: Did he pay for those dates? Maybe it drained his wallet and missing you means he's waiting for the next pay check. Being vulnerable, dependent, and making a guy chase is nice, but they don't improve a guy's financial situation. They don't pay the ... (read in full...)
I used to want a relationship and romance but all the girls wanted was to be romance with no sex. now that I've tried sex only, the girls get all crazy and want a relationship.
Q. I always manage to get the girl that want the opposite of what I want. I've tried meeting them at places where we have something in common like club or events and half the time they're okay with talking to me and I take them out to dinner and what I ...
A. 26 January 2016: The girl version of this is, "guys only want sex, but if I make them wait they crazily pursue me. Once they have me they lose interest and become lazy."
That's the classic battle of the sexes. I am sure there's someone that doesn't act so extr... (read in full...)
Could it be that we are sexually incompatible? 110 percent compatible in every other way.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. During this time I have noticed that when we have intercourse he doesn't always reach orgasm. At first I put it down to us needing more time to get to know each other's bodies but now it is becoming...
A. 26 January 2016: Maybe he's not blaming you, but just merely stating a fact that he needs friction to achieve orgasm. A lot of guys go through life masturbating much more than getting real sex. It could be that he's been single for a long time and has to get used to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a person to have crushes on other people while in a relationship and do nothing about it in the sense that they don't act on it
Q. Hello, I've been classmates with this girl for around three years now in college, and she intrigues me quite a bit. Let me explain: during our first year she seemed to be a rather shy and socially awkward person. Cute, but very weird. She was ...
A. 26 January 2016: Uh oh, if I were her boyfriend, I wouldn't like it a bit if my girlfriend talks to another guy until 5 am. Acting on your feelings does not have to be physical, like kissing. When you spend so much time creating a connection it can be the start of ... (read in full...)
The widower I am dating removed his daughter in law's jeans and put pajamas on her because she was drunk. Was this inappropriate?
Q. I don't know if the following question has ever been presented in this forum before. I'm starting a relationship with another widower and heard this perplexing event from him. Many of us are snowed in this weekend with members of our families not ...
A. 24 January 2016: Yes, I can see how this is considered inappropriate. Your boyfriend was offering fatherly care. That's what I see. However there are lots of sexual misconduct amongst families. It's more like some people screwed up, so avoid any behavior in which ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly making me comments and not explaining? I'm ready to leave!
Q. I don't know what to do or what to think and am trying to figure out what in the world is going on with my boyfriend. Maybe someone can help me out with this? We have been together for just over one year. Everything has been pretty good betw...
A. 24 January 2016: When boyfriends get passive aggressive, there is no point talking to them. He's getting you to break up with him without the bad guy. He wants to tell his friends that the reason of the break up was because "she's insecure, has no sense of humour, ... (read in full...)
I want to improve my English but can't stay focused for more than 10 minutes
Q. I am a lazy girl. I want to learn English well to get my life better. But when i open my book or my laptop, i just learn for about 10 minutes, and then i do other things: surf the internet for facebook or youtube funny video. How can i change ...
A. 24 January 2016: For this day and age, most of the learning come from youtube. Why not look for English teaching videos made by Chinese Americans that are 10 minutes each. It's okay to have fun while learn at the same time. Videos are basically boring books that ... (read in full...)
Am I right to have reservations? Or is this guy a jerk?
Q. DearCupid, maybe somebody can help me. I've been looking online for answers to this question and it seems like there are kind of two "camps". I will explain the situation. Met a guy at college and we had our first date a couple of weeks back. He s...
A. 23 January 2016: I am not insecure and I don't like this staring behavior. It's more of an inability to control one's actions, rather than comparing myself to the other girls. I don't think he is a jerk. It's just an annoying habit that would turn me off, just like ... (read in full...)
I gave my crush my phone number, he never called but gets jealous??
Q. why would he act this way....i gave my crush my number figuring he wasnt flirting with me for nothing nor asking me what am i going to cook for him, well he didnt call and almost two weeks go by so i went to the store yesterday and he was there, and ...
A. 23 January 2016: This is about the 5 ft tall guy? It's difficult being that short. You might think, Danny DeVito was able to have a long successful marriage, so what's his problem. The majority of short guys had been bullied, and have developed psychological ... (read in full...)
Did how I act merit her emotional outburst?
Q. Hey guys. I posted on here a few days ago and got some really good responses. I'd like to maybe get a new perspective after these past few days because now I feel a bit crazy. I had a regular friends with benefits and I thought things were goin...
A. 23 January 2016: No it didn't. Stopping doesn't mean developing feelings. It just means you are not into having sex with unconscious people. She's projecting her feelings onto you. Now you can see FWBs are not drama free. You can the same emotions as in people in ... (read in full...)
Is NSA the same as FWB?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm sort of dating a person for past 2 months and today after sex he told me he wants to do NSA and he doesn't attach emotionally to anyone (which he does to protect himself) and won't commit. Though its NSA he won't be seeing anyone el...
A. 23 January 2016: Why does he have to wait 2 months? That's because if he told you right away that sex is all he could offer, then many women would have run already. He wants to see you when he sees you but with zero expectations. There is not much difference between ... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy, the missing tip
Q. If you are reading this you know there's a lot of stuff in the net about Retroactive Jealousy. As someone who's gone through that decades ago I've read a hundreds of articles and discussion about it myself. There is a lot of misguided advice, and ...
A. 23 January 2016: If men are jealous, they are jealous of the ability that others can hook up with no strings attached. The ability to pick up a chick in a bar then go home with her in 30 minutes.
Your tip is for men who aren't able to do that. So they have to tric... (read in full...)
He can't stay hard, says I'm too wet and yet he wants a threesome???
Q. Dear Cupid I'm dating a guy for about a month, we did hit off well and he was nice and everything. Fast forward we had tried to have sex a week back, he told me I'm too wet and when he was able to do it, he couldn't hold his erection, tried ...
A. 22 January 2016: He has his own problem (such as erectile dysfunction) but tries to blame it on you. Being wet should be a turn on, not turn off. Wanting a threesome is what men say when they feel inadequate. So they try to deceive women into believing that they are ... (read in full...)
Is my friend telling the truth? Is it possible for a man to not be able to fall in love?
Q. Before you read this, I wanted you all to know that I have no intention of doing anything with this man. I am looking to get advice from people who are kind enough to give it. I have lost guy friends due to them having feelings for me and so wh...
A. 22 January 2016: Sounds like he's stumbling in his speech. He can only cut it if he's developed some feelings or starting to. He doesn't want to admit his feelings for you to avoid trouble. It would make sense that the friendship can only continue if it's just ... (read in full...)
I just want to move on and get out of this relationship because I don't want to get hurt again
Q. I am a divorcee and staying with friends. Opposite to my apartment one guy is staying. Since one year I have been seeing him. I got to know that he is interested in me and first I thought its just a physical attraction. But later on I felt that he ...
A. 21 January 2016: I sense that you are from a culture in which divorced women are an outcast and are only good for men to scratch an itch until they can find a more "suitable" woman with no baggage to marry. And that when men say "I love you" it means nothing unless ... (read in full...)
My BF just got back from a trip and said he missed me but I had to contact him to make plans to see each other
Q. Just want to know your take on my situation. I am not sure if there is cause for concern. I hope you can help me figure that out. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 years. We have a great connection as friends and still after all this t...
A. 20 January 2016: He truly missed you but could not promise a time because he's still recovering from the trip. It takes at least a few days to a week to feel 100%. Whenever I travel and come back I would not want to do anything for the next weekend. After not seeing ... (read in full...)
I don't have confidence in myself in regards to women and dating. Should I give up?
Q. Is it possible to give up on women? I have a very complicated history with them that ranges from saving a girl from getting raped in high school to getting left by my junior prom date for another guy at the dance. I have had one ex in high schoo...
A. 20 January 2016: Maybe you should try sex surrogate therapists. They are not prostitutes. The sessions are not sleazy. They can help you relax and gain confidence.
Since you are a doctor, would you consider doing doctors without borders? That can allow you to trav... (read in full...)
Fiance admitted forgetting about my birthday plans and didn't do anything about it?
Q. My birthday was yesterday and my fiance and I had made plans on Christmas day to spend the day before (Sunday) together, as on my actual birthday (Monday) I got him basketball tickets to go watch his favorite team play as a Christmas gift, which he ...
A. 20 January 2016: You are already engaged but you sound like you are dating for just a few months. While forgetting birthdays is not necessarily a sign that a man doesn't love you, with this guy I have to question. You move states to be with him and yet he acts so ... (read in full...)
He's become a little distant. Should I just give him space?
Q. I've started seeing a guy (well just before Christmas). We get on really well. Have loads in common. We do have an age gap of 11 years (he's older). Recently he's been acting distant from me. We communicate via text throughout most the week...
A. 20 January 2016: You can ask him if you are dating or just hanging out. One month is around the time you decide if you like each other enough to be exclusive. He could be shy and waiting for you to initiate that conversation. He might feel he's too old for you. If ... (read in full...)
I know girlfriend is cheating behind my back, why didn't she just let me go?
Q. I found a piece of paper with several male user names and names of certain free dating sites, on the bathroom floor, but however much she denied it - I know my girlfriends handwriting. It got the best of me and I became quite obsessive about finding ...
A. 20 January 2016: She's keeping you as the fall back guy, in case her dates don't work out. There are married people who chronically go on dating sites for flirting and a laugh. In that case, they want outside attention when the relationship gets boring. Or approval ... (read in full...)
I realize things are over but am afraid to break up with unstable girlfriend
Q. so, i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years, i am now 17 and realise that our relationship is going nowhere. We have absolutely nothing in common and i don't enjoy talking to her any more. I feel that if I break up with ...
A. 19 January 2016: Breaking up with someone unstable is never easy, because they may not accept your answer if they are self absorbed. I think this is past the point of wondering whether this could be salvaged. You've just had enough. Then all you need is the firm ... (read in full...)
My FWB partner didn't seem right so I stopped the sex but then she was angry! Didn't I do the right thing?
Q. Hey guys, I am utterly shocked at the moment and need someone to help me clarify what happened. I have been in a friends with benefits relationship with another woman (both girls) for a few months now. Things have been amazing!! Sex was intensel...
A. 19 January 2016: You did the right thing. She's so intoxicated that she saw birds in the room. Alcohol could also lower a person's emotional state. She got anxiety and quickly found something that "caused" it, so she blamed it on you. That night you could not do ... (read in full...)
She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 19 January 2016: Smoking doesn't make a person happy. All it does is takes away stress and anxiety for 10 minutes until you need a quick fix again.
I am sensing some low self esteem here. You are not financially independent yet but you are already thinking ahea... (read in full...)
do my feelings indicate actual gender identity issues?
Q. Hi, I ticked male as my gender because there was no option to ignore and it said gender not sex, however I appear female and was born with female sex organs. So, basically I am "female" and refer to myself as a girl in most contexts, but deep dow...
A. 18 January 2016: You like what you like. You don't have to label yourself as having an issue. You will have no problems finding your other half. I've seen many pairs of masculine women and feminine men together. I still like to refer you as a girl though, whether ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex blowing cold?
Q. I am in a non-committed relationship. We have a child but that's about it. I may as well be on my own. He is a good dad to the child but does not consider my needs or talk about a future. I met with an old flame about 7 months ago, had a few d...
A. 18 January 2016: I think he told you why. After new years it's a time when many businesses close and people are waiting or negotiating new deals. He is worried about money so is not in a mood to pursue a relationship. You are still in a relationship so he's careful ... (read in full...)
I lied to my dying friend and told him that I loved him. Now he's gone and I feel sick
Q. I slept with my friend because he was dying and because I felt guilty for leading him on. Each time after having sex he would cry and hug me and profess his love for me. He had a crush on me for years. During his last days I lied to him that I loved ...
A. 17 January 2016: No, heaven is a peaceful place with unlimited love. There are no greedy, jealous or miserable souls up there. He would be very happy that you make his transition a beautiful one. There are testimonials every day about how departed ones still ... (read in full...)
She refused me but tried fellatio with her fling. Do I have a right to be upset ?
Q. Hello! I'm 38.Me and my wife (42) have been married for 9 years now. We were in an on/off relationship for quite awhile before we settled down-we were at odds all the time which led us to break up and then get back together.The longest we'...
A. 17 January 2016: That's the thing. She can only blow a guy she doesn't love. I tend to be wary of people who behave like a totally different person when it comes to casual sex partners versus husbands.
Technically you do not have a right to be upset but I feel many... (read in full...)
Threesome that I initiated leads to my wife having a 2 year affair
Q. My wife and I are in our late 20's, married 5 years..One night about two years ago after too many drinks at my single friends apartment, don't ask me why, i said lets try a threesome..probably the alchohol talking..it was totally my idea, and my ...
A. 17 January 2016: If you are asking if she did it because she didn't love you, honestly when I was 25 I did not know what love and commitment means. She could be inexperienced in sex and wanted to play the field. Passion dies down in a relationship, and she mistakes ... (read in full...)
She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 16 January 2016: I would break up now. She's basically asking you to cover the majority of other costs if she chooses smoking. You are already buying her cigarettes. this is unfair for you. I have heard people breaking up because the girl, at age 30, suddenly wanted ... (read in full...)
| *anniepeg's friends
These are mutual friends, so *anniepeg has
added them and they have added *anniepeg!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
