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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 19 January 2016: Smoking doesn't make a person happy. All it does is takes away stress and anxiety for 10 minutes until you need a quick fix again.
I am sensing some low self esteem here. You are not financially independent yet but you are already thinking ahea... (read in full...)
She wants to smoke, I don't and its causing so many problems we wonder if breaking up is the answer
Q. I'll make this short and quick. Me and my girlfriend are having a lot of trouble of a smoking issue and we want it to be finally resolved after just over 4 months of hassle. Over 4 months ago she got curious about trying one and even though I'm ...
A. 16 January 2016: I would break up now. She's basically asking you to cover the majority of other costs if she chooses smoking. You are already buying her cigarettes. this is unfair for you. I have heard people breaking up because the girl, at age 30, suddenly wanted ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't want sex and turned it around that maybe I should find someone who can give me what I want. Where did that come from?
Q. My boyfriend and I are not intimate that often, last night I wanted to be with him, he said no, maybe tomorrow and rolled over. I told him my feelings were hurt and I was feeling like I wasn't wanted. He twisted it all around saying I made him ...
A. 16 January 2016: You were not trying to hurt him. You simply said you feelings were hurt and you felt unwanted. Men take this very personally. In their heads, they hear something like, "you are old, and useless. You can't make a woman happy." No, you shouldn't have ... (read in full...)
Will having a pet interfere with my dating life?
Q. Hi all, this is not a relationship question as such but any advice would be appreciated. I have been single for just over a year now and living on my own for around 6 months. I have absolutely always wanted a dog or a cat (or even a rabbit), ...
A. 15 January 2016: I thought I was ready to be a single mom forever. So I got a condo and bought two cats to "christen" my place. Then I met my husband. Maybe they bring me good luck. I can honestly say that men only come to you when you decide to be independent and ... (read in full...)
Am I missing out if I never date anyone else besides my girlfriend?
Q. Hello all. I think this question might make me seem ungrateful, so first of all I want to say that I realise that I'm very lucky to have a beautiful girlfriend who I really care for. We met when I was 18, and I'd always been too shy to ask a girl ...
A. 15 January 2016: I have not been fortunate enough to get it right the first time. So I've had many lovers. Still I don't think you would regret it if your relationship is good. Of course everything has it's pros and cons. I know for men it is very important to know ... (read in full...)
He criticizes me all the time, is this relationship worth pursuing?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm dating someone for past 3 weeks, we connected really well at the start, it's like we are destined to meet and everything. But the problem is he criticizes me all the time, but never compliments when I ask about it, says he doe...
A. 12 January 2016: I would understand that some people don't like compliments because they grew up with parents who did it too much and they felt like manipulation. Here, at three months of dating you should be enjoying yourself. There shouldn't even be flaws that are ... (read in full...)
Without passion is it worth it?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he doesn't love me passionately, but he did say loves me and wants to be with me. He said the reason he doesn't love me passionately is that he has doubts because we fight sometimes and he thinks that I'm overly sensi...
A. 12 January 2016: I feel he's trying to trap you into marriage. I bet it's not that you are not the perfect match for him. He just found the only flaw you have, which is you are not a Doris Day type of wife. He attacked it and used it as an advantage to have the ... (read in full...)
I feel disrespected when he spends so much time with his ex
Q. my supposed boyfriend and I got into a small argument the other day and like always, it turned into a huge mess. We've been off and on for almost a year now. He was at the end of a marriage with the mother of his kids when we got together, which I ...
A. 12 January 2016: Your supposed boyfriend is with you because he can't live with baby momma full time. Maybe she has a boyfriend too and whenever she's with him, he's with you. It's dreadful to not have a stable address but I guess for whatever reason it works for ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to figure out if this is a relationship I should stay in
Q. I have dated my boyfriend for about 8 months and both are 28. Our relationship had a very rocky and interesting beginning. We knew each other before from work so we both treaded carefully. I felt we never went through a honeymoon phase and was sl...
A. 11 January 2016: I truly believe passion is important in a relationship, otherwise it is settling and it would be a set up for flirting and texting outside relationships. Insecure people often get with other insecure people because they think they are less likely to ... (read in full...)
Looking back, I don't understand her
Q. Now that the relationship is over, I'm still dealing with a lot of unanswered questions as to what kind of woman I was seeing all these years. She often accused me of not "getting" her, or that men don't "get" her. It's as if she's trying to convey ...
A. 11 January 2016: She is the kind of person who blows hot and cold to gain a sense of control. You asked her what's wrong, hoping to fix anything but her answer was a vague one. A general one like men don't get women. Implying that there's nothing you can do to win ... (read in full...)
My husband threw me under the bus with his family
Q. I resent my husband and don't know where to go from here. On new years eve we had my brother in-law and his family here to bring in the new year. Everything was going good until about 12:30 am when my brother in-law thought it would be Ok to b...
A. 6 January 2016: I never knew kkk music existed. I guess it's their culture and they grew up with it. If they like that kind of music they probably think wives have no status in the home and they have no right to disagree with in laws. Your husband was angry that ... (read in full...)
Does my ex boyfriend want me back or is he just playing games?
Q. So my ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he believed I deserved better and he needed to get his life together. However, according to his friends I was clingy and had trust issues, which weren't fully true. He wasn't being fully ...
A. 6 January 2016: His heart doesn't belong to you, his dick does because no girl is giving it to him. He thought that single life means lots of sex, no attachment but now he realizes it's not what it's cracked up to be. So he expects sex here and there from you until ... (read in full...)
My new relationship seems to be over before it even began ...
Q. I'm in a new relationship, we're both 23, and already it has taken a turn for the worst. We are both at fault for the arguments. He tells me to open up but then makes me feel horrible when I speak about something that he has been doing that bothe...
A. 5 January 2016: When he went to bowling, maybe he got a last minute confirmation from his friends. Events like these need at least a day's notification. I am afraid "I would let you know if I could come" does not sound very confirmative. That's something you say ... (read in full...)
He asks such nonsense questions!
Q. Is it just me or other experience that their husband ask a nonsense question? Such as when I put my yoga mat on the floor to do some stretching he bombarded me with questions before I could even answer the first one. Like, Where did you get that...
A. 5 January 2016: Some men are clueless about the basics of yoga. Like why would someone spend 20 dollars of a yoga block. There are also many gadgets such as the toning balls, pilates straps, etc. It's something not a manly husband would understand I think he's just ... (read in full...)
Are we just friens after spending the night together?
Q. Me and this guy became friends a few months ago. Neither of us have ever showed interest in being more than friends verbally. He has made statements explicitly saying we are just friends. However lately when we hang out we end up cuddling, spending ...
A. 3 January 2016: You are just friends. His body reactions are physiological and from arousal. Friends should not cuddle and spoon. There must be some aphrodisiac quality upon hearing, "we are just friends." It makes guys a challenge. In rom coms they do that quite a ... (read in full...)
Without passion is it worth it?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he doesn't love me passionately, but he did say loves me and wants to be with me. He said the reason he doesn't love me passionately is that he has doubts because we fight sometimes and he thinks that I'm overly sensi...
A. 3 January 2016: If I am working full time then I would not be the gourmet gook and in law pleaser when I get home. Maybe his friends can manage it all but for me it would make me go insane. Still without the luxuries of life it does not mean a man does can not love ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my feelings for her
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 months And before i did have feelings for her. Then 2 weeks ago i started thinking, do i really? And now its really bugging me. Some days I do feel love for her, and i question it so much. Inside i know i d...
A. 3 January 2016: No need to rush. You don't trust your gut feeling because you fell in love before but you got mistreated so this time you want to be more careful. Anyone can be nice for the first few months. Some people say having sex can make the suspense ... (read in full...)
I tend to date men I think my dad would approve of even though they're not compatible with me
Q. My father and I were very close when I was a child. My mom worked weekends, so he stayed home with me. My parents have a great partnership and my dad always contributed equally. When I was around 10 I started experiencing some serious anxiety ...
A. 3 January 2016: Just want to make sure which is accurate. Your dad is emotionally there for your family, then not emotionally available for you. I guess what you are saying is that he's there if people don't have anxiety problems, but with you he does not have the ... (read in full...)
Not sure if this FWB is turning in to more
Q. Hey guys. I have a question about a fwb. First off, I'm a gay female. I have been friends with this girl off and on for years, but have never hooked up until recently. We used to work together and I always thought she was sexy as hell, and we kin...
A. 3 January 2016: A lot of people think once you are FWB, you are stuck there and that's what you want forever. So maybe that's why she dated another girl but didn't ask you. Maybe she doesn't want to scare you off. You are pretty cool, so slowly she should feel ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to make a relationship with a man work
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for about 6 months. This was my longest relationship and I lost my virginity to him. As with most of my past relationships, they start very exciting and lovey-dovey, then fizzle out. We h...
A. 3 January 2016: This is not about you but most young people do not know what to do after all that lovey doveyness fizzles out. A relationship naturally progresses into marriage, family and vacations. If the majority of you guys are still studying, not knowing where ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he loved me and the next day he moved in with another woman
Q. Need help dealing with what happened. I was dating a man for four years with the relationship never progressing or no talk of a future. Finally after 3 1/2 years he proposed but still wouldn't talk about marriage. We dated another six months s...
A. 3 January 2016: I think you are dealing with a man who doesn't know what he wants. You have been kept in the dark about what he's doing. He could be dating both of you at the same time. He's bouncing back and forth and secretly enjoying how two women are pining for ... (read in full...)
When exactly is a good time to tell a guy you're a virgin??
Q. when exactly is a good time to tell a guy you're a virgin?? I'm a virgin and I have not even had oral sex. I honestly don't want to because I think the idea is really gross. I know a lot of girls who did it and they thought it was gross too an...
A. 2 January 2016: You don't need to go to church or introduce yourself as a virgin. You do need to understand that if you go to a guy's room they automatically think sex. Why start something you can't finish. They think of you as a tease.
A good thing to say thou... (read in full...)
I'm six months pregnant but not sure who the father is
Q. Okay so before I start, I'm fully aware that I'm a terrible person for the things that I've done. I didn't come here to be judged, I just need advice. I am 6 1/2 months pregnant. In the past, when my boyfriend and I would break up or get into a r...
A. 31 December 2015: Your boyfriend is abusive, so you shouldn't go back to him at all. You don't need him in his life besides asking for child support. If you tell him there's a possibility that the baby isn't his, he might hit you again. You need a counsellor for ... (read in full...)
If I don't change I'm afraid she'll leave me. But I don't want to be pushed around. What can I do?
Q. I have been seeing a wonderful woman for almost 6 months now. When we met, the connection was real and we hit it off almost instantly. The only difference is that she's religious, but I'm not. As far as I've always been concerned it didn't p...
A. 31 December 2015: I can bet no person in church is the same and if you ask them each the same questions they would come up with different answers, in their minds at least. Belief goes deeper than just saying you believe so and so. I can assure you for religion, it's ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my wife or go off with my soul mate?
Q. My question is should I stay with my wife and have a routine life or go and be with someone who I believe is my soulmate. I have tried hard to make my marriage work and my wife is a very decent person but I feel as though I am living with a sister ...
A. 28 December 2015: Your counsellor would see if she can compromise and work on her self esteem and insecurity. Throughout the years it sounds like you try to please her, however begrudgingly. So you never had a chance to find out if you didn't bend to her wills, her ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my wife or go off with my soul mate?
Q. My question is should I stay with my wife and have a routine life or go and be with someone who I believe is my soulmate. I have tried hard to make my marriage work and my wife is a very decent person but I feel as though I am living with a sister ...
A. 27 December 2015: The counsellor would tell you to lay off the affair for a while to commit to your marriage. Which means you will have to prepare to lose your soulmate. Maybe your counsellor can help her find out if she can physically want you again. If you are only ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if the woman I like wants to be treated like a princess?
Q. Ladies, can you help, me with a problem I have, am single, not a bad boy, the problem is, I don't know which women, to treat like a princess, an which ones, I should act like I don't care, the ones ,i treat fantastic, which has only been two, in ten ...
A. 27 December 2015: Look for women without much emotional baggage and ready to be vulnerable. If a woman says she feels like running when she falls in love, it means you stay out of her life and don't let her waste your time. We would love to think that men take charge ... (read in full...)
My mother passed away today, and I feel like a bad son!
Q. My mother past away today, she was 84, she been in bad health all year, she is in a better place now, but am I a bad son, my girlfriend broke up with me , three weeks ago, am thinking about her more, I love my mom, but my heart is broken, over a ...
A. 25 December 2015: I am the kind of person who cries over a break up, but not a family death. Maybe it's in my culture, we don't see death as a tragedy but a beginning of a new life somewhere else. Some people are not that attached to family members. It doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
I feel very alone with no social life and no friends
Q. Hi dearcupids, I am 24 yr unemployed, single, postgraduate girl. I had many friends in college and highschool. But all of them are either married and moved to another city, or some of them got a job and moved to another city. I am facing the problem ...
A. 25 December 2015: The best thing to do, if you are all alone is to volunteer. Find something like salvation army or siloam mission in your country. When you see that many people don't have education and have no hope for employment, the experience of feeding them ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl ask me if I was gay if I prefer cuddling to penetrative sex? I do have some ED.
Q. I pick up girls quite often. I'm not interested in penetration only cuddling etc(also a bit of ED, but never had much interest in sex). I explain this to them beforehand of course and never was rejected because of it. The girls still seem to enjoy...
A. 25 December 2015: There's a difference between "can't do it", and "don't want to do it." If you say to people you are not interested in penetrative sex, they are not going to think inability, but disinterest.
If you like oral sex, then it would be hard to unde... (read in full...)
Why would a girl ask me if I was gay if I prefer cuddling to penetrative sex? I do have some ED.
Q. I pick up girls quite often. I'm not interested in penetration only cuddling etc(also a bit of ED, but never had much interest in sex). I explain this to them beforehand of course and never was rejected because of it. The girls still seem to enjoy...
A. 24 December 2015: It's true that gay men would not date women, unless they want to have a straight life on the outside, get married and have kids. Or they are not sure about their sexuality and want to wait before giving themselves a label.
It's actually quite comm... (read in full...)
Things are awkward now, can I fix it seeing as how we work together?
Q. Hello everyone. This is going to be very long, but please bear with me because this has been troubling me badly for some years. I'll start with a journal entry of mine that explains the basis of the problem at hand. From journal: I feel like I'...
A. 24 December 2015: Your letter is long, and she doesn't have to know all of your innermost thoughts. How about just sum it up as, "sorry, I am just shy. I am not trying to be mean. I need more practice talking to women, especially a beautiful woman like you."
A lot ... (read in full...)
how do I message her and ask to meet without sounding desperate?
Q. Background: Girl and me, said we loved each other, she said she needed space, gave her space for 1 month, she broke the silence by sending me a heart. I said she was beautiful and to tell me what she wanted, only friends, nothing more. I then mes...
A. 24 December 2015: Being friends with her won't help you move on. You've been making a little progress being alone for a month. If you hang with her you will keep pining on her. Part of the meeting face to face is to stop her from ignoring your messages. You want the ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my wife or go off with my soul mate?
Q. My question is should I stay with my wife and have a routine life or go and be with someone who I believe is my soulmate. I have tried hard to make my marriage work and my wife is a very decent person but I feel as though I am living with a sister ...
A. 24 December 2015: This is a very personal question. I believe there are people who are not matched sexually and no matter what you do you can't extract passion from that union. I also believe even though you two feel more like relatives than lovers, such a ... (read in full...)
How can someone change so much so fast? I think it's his mother and his friends influencing him!
Q. He has changed so much in the past year, I do not even recognize him. When we met we were both in college but he was getting ready to graduate. He was a huge nerd always playing Magic the Gathering, and he was very sweet. He had like a 1930's cl...
A. 21 December 2015: I think he changed because he is in turmoil, being a momma's boy. He does not know how to reconcile the fact that being with you means losing, or abandoning his mom. This does not have to happen if you can figure out a way so that the three of you ... (read in full...)
I want to compete in a beauty contest, but speaking in public makes me anxious.Should I contest or move on?
Q. I didn't pull through to represent my country at the miss universe pageant. I didn't even make it through the auditions because I am a nervous wreck or was. I don't know, I have so much confidence as a person and I know back then in universi...
A. 19 December 2015: Just try until you are 27. Olivia Jordan did not give up and I bet all the 27 year old winners felt their hard work was worth it at the end. Olivia was shaking at the Q and A. It's okay to be nervous. What matters is the message you give to others. ... (read in full...)
What could be her reasoning? 8pm and she decided to go out to see a friend?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together a year. An we are inseparable. We live together. She's a stay at home wife kind of thing. My nan passed away a week ago n I've been grieving and at 1st she was there for me but now she's not as caring. ...
A. 15 December 2015: Her bad mood maybe from kids who did not want to go to bed at 8. She rushed them to bed so she could visit her friend. She's a stay at home mom, feeling stuck at home so she wanted to get some fresh air. She also doesn't want to catch your ... (read in full...)
I still believe he is "the one". Any idea what's up in this LDR?
Q. Hello I am trying to keep it short but I m very glad for your guys feedback. My boyfriend, i mean my ex and i were having an long distance relationship. we tried to see each other every 2 weeks. 2 weeks ago we had our first intense argue. we...
A. 15 December 2015: Hmm, maybe he's still involved with the baby mama. It seems that attached men pursue more strongly than single men. They are more desperate for love than people who are free to do whatever. With distance it is easy for them to conduct a love affair ... (read in full...)
I still believe he is "the one". Any idea what's up in this LDR?
Q. Hello I am trying to keep it short but I m very glad for your guys feedback. My boyfriend, i mean my ex and i were having an long distance relationship. we tried to see each other every 2 weeks. 2 weeks ago we had our first intense argue. we...
A. 14 December 2015: I see this as, him rather be the dumper than the dumpee. He would rather commit first, then come up with some big argument to end it, than to say he couldn't do it at the beginning. So he would not be the bad guy, the commitment phobe.
It's also... (read in full...)
Ex' is threatening suicide. How do I stop her bothering me?
Q. I came on here not too many days ago stating my ex girlfriend of five years had me feeling unsettled. I stated we have been broken up for at least six months. She constantly contacted me and I responded cordially. Perhaps a friendship could come of ...
A. 14 December 2015: You basically need a firm mindset that you don't care if she lives or dies. She is an ex so whatever she does, is out of your concern. If you can't avoid her and she talks about death again, just tell her you wish heaven is a happier place for her.... (read in full...)
He's open but I don't like what I hear
Q. My hubby keeps it all the way 100 with me - very open and tells me everything. I feel lucky but now I'm beginning to feel like I'm not comfortable with his openness as it is not making me feel good. How can a man be this open with his spouse a...
A. 14 December 2015: He doesn't just think it's okay. He feels the pride sharing this information and making you feel insecure. I agree his contact with women is disrespectful to this marriage. I don't appreciate his honesty either. Here you have a man who constantly ... (read in full...)
He wants more sex but I'm exhausted
Q. Hi all - I need advice. How often do happy couples have sex? I am in an on again off again relationship with a guy for 3 years. We just got back together in late October - early Nov. Within the last 3 weeks, he brought up that he wants more sex...
A. 14 December 2015: A happiness of a couple is not determined by the quantity of sex. It's mainly how you treat each other inside and outside of the bedroom, also how flexible you are when you don't feel up for it.
You shouldn't have gotten back together with him.... (read in full...)
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