A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts I need some advice on what to do about this older guy.I'm 24 and he's 32, now I've never been attracted to older guys. Never! But I keep thinking about him in a sexual way. We're both single but I just want to "sleep" with him because they say some older man are better. But I'm just curious and I think about it everyday. I never just slept with a guy just because I'm curious. So I feel a little different about the situation. He said he knows I want too and that im scared that I might love it. Which is so true! What if he's the best I've ever had and I fall in lust lol? I do like this other guy who's 26 and he's a great guy. But once again I keep thinking about the older guy. The guy who's 26 is a guy I would love to build a relationship with, and we're going out next week. He's also very attractive and we have alot in common, I can see myself with him. But the 32 year old is just on my mind heavy. He's a nice guy, I'm just amazed I'm having these thoughts and he can tell. He also say we don't have to have sex but when I look at him, it's all I want to do. I feel like I should get it out of system but I also feel like I like him a little. I think about them both I'm just confused. Any advice? I kind of feel badThanks for reading.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (2 November 2015):
 In your mind you are setting the stakes pretty high for the sexual prowess of what you think an older man has to offer. You might be in for a bit of a let down if you think all older men are Magic Mikes. If a bit older guy is what you fancy then go for it. Get it out your system just don't be wanting your cake and eat it too when it comes to this other guy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 November 2015):
 Older men are not better in bed...
it has NOTHING to do with age. GOOD in bed has to do with personality... my 42 yr old husband sucks in bed.
you are interested in a guy that is a mere 8 years older than you and at 24 that seems insurmountable and exciting but it's not that big a deal once you too are older for example when you are 30 he will be 38 that doesn't seem so big a deal does it?
take this man off the "sexual pedestal" you have him on.
if you are attracted to both men, then you need to sleep with neither of them till you can figure out which one if ether you want to be with with.
don't think with the wrong end....
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (2 November 2015):
My first impression is that a 32yo guy is not necessarily too old for a 24yo woman. If you want a relationship with him, go on several dates with him without having sex. If things click, then have protected sex with him.
But it appears that you don't want a relationship with him. Look ahead here and analyze the possible problems if you have sex and then one of you wants a relationship and the other doesn't. Is he someone you're going to continue to see in the future if this doesn't work out (such as you work with him)?
If the fall-out is minimal and you don't work with him, I don't have a problem with you having protected sex with this guy.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 November 2015):
 It's impossible to generalize how men fare in bed according to age. If that's true, that 26 year old would get better during 6 years' time and there's no reason to rush, to have that experience right now. Or when you are 32 you want to have a taste of a 40 year old. The quality of sex can be determined by mutual commitment, communication and trust and partly the man's ability to last long. There are virgins who can last long and there are older guys who can't keep it up so it's often a personal thing, not just age.
It's not as if a 24 year old can't have a relationship with a 32 year old but this older guy sounds like he's just in it for fun. Players are very good at deceiving women into believing that they are the minority who are good at sex and women shouldn't settle for nice guys who are mediocre in bed. You can certainly have both passion and security. At your age, it is necessary to get sexual curiosity out of your system but do it in a way that won't hurt you, or you won't hurt others in the process. It's better to gain experience through mutually satisfying relationships than exploitative ones. I think it's the unattainable, the unpredictable nature of that 32 year old that makes it exciting for you. The kind of excitement that fades in a long term relationship. You have to think what's your priority in life. To settle down or to have fun because you can't have your cake and eat it too.
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