A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. So, lately I've been feeling really anxious about myself. I've never been on a date or a relationship. Although, guys always flirt with me and approach me but they never ask me out or they flirt with me for days then they just act as if nothing ever happened. I do flirt back if I found someone attractive and I do approach guys. But what makes me anxious is my personality and looks. Not to be cocky but I'm an athlete and physically fit, and everyone tells me I'm pretty etc but I have a pixie cut which makes me wonder if its a turn off for guys. Im a tomboy when it comes to my personality, I enjoy everything aggressive and whatever any guy enjoys such as adventuring, video gaming etc and I do sometimes talk harsh and I'm far away from all girly stuff. My mom tells me that I shouldn't change my looks or personality for guys, and also the right guy will come sooner or later. But sometimes it does break my heart when a guy flirts with me for weeks, smiles at me a lot and then he suddenly stops and ignores me for no reason. It makes me feel that I'm doing something that keeps the guys away from me. Is it my looks or my haircut which turns off guys? Or is it my tomboyish personality? Am I doing anything wrong that makes guys disappear from my life? Any advice ?
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (3 November 2015):
Try Denizen's advice...play it cool. You don't say how you react to their flirtations: Are you flirting too much in return? Guys want a bit of a chase.Personally, I am attracted to women who are athletic and in good shape. I don't know exactly what your pixie cut looks like, but I find short hair attractive in that it often looks stylish...and stylish women are usually fun and interesting. As for being tomboyish, many guys like a girl they can do guy things with. Maybe you are being too tomboyish...you don't want that if you are trying to attract males.Do you smoke? A lot of guys won't bother with a smoker.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 November 2015):
 Your mom is great. This flirting and then disappearing behavior happens to feminine, humble girls too, trust me. Flirting is easy but at your age it sometimes leads to nothing. You also expect guys to ask you straight out but the fact is that many of them are shy and scared of rejection. They wait for sure signs that you are interested. So smile back, talk to them and show you care about their lives. Showing interest is neither feminine or masculine. It's necessary to build a level of connection.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (2 November 2015):
 It's not your looks or tomboy behaviour. Many men find that extremely attractive.
Perhaps you are picking the wrong type to flirt with. Perhaps you should play it a bit more cool. Sometimes less is more. Guys like a bit of mystery. It draws them in.
Your mum is correct; the right guy will come along - and he'll be a very lucky fellow to know someone like you.
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