A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Its been 2.5 years since my last girlfriend left me for her high school love. We dated for over a year and she was the best girlfriend I ever had. She was perfect in all ways and for the first time the spark was there till the last week she dumped me. I couldnt really do anything about the breakup because she left me for her high school boyfriend who was also her first love. I havent recovered from this breakup still. In the last 2.5 years I tried dating few women but I lost interest in them within a week. Everytime I start dating or getting to know a new woman better I start comparing her to the my ex. And my ex was better than any of them. I dont know if i will find a girl as perfect as my ex in the future. How do I move on from this problem I have that every woman i meet i get disinterested because they werent as good as my ex?
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move on, my ex, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MSA  +, writes (11 December 2015):
 Is your ex that perfect? Or is the image of your ex that perfect?
Over time, most of us tend to forget reasons why we argue and break up. We forget or many never even realize why the relationship didn't work out. So what we have left are the good memories of how perfect she is; your relationship was.
There must be a reason why your ex left. There must be a reason why the relationship didn't work out. You need to remember what the reason was.
Also I noticed that your relationship was still at the 'honeymoon' stage when you broke up, maybe that also contributes to why you only remember the good times.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 December 2015):
 I've been in the same predicament that you describe for the last 47 years. If you find any cure.... or anything that mitigates the pain... please let me know.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 December 2015):
 No one is perfect. A special girl can love you perfectly but she will still have flaws, naturally. Maybe you are avoiding intimacy using the reason that no one is better than your ex. What you have to change is this belief, which is a defeatist, and a self imposed loneliness.
You may also have trouble understanding why she dumped you. If there's spark on both sides then why would she go back to her ex? If her first love was so good then why did they break up? There's not much information but I am guessing she did not know what she wanted. A person who goes back and forth and hardly be perfect. You idealized her and did not have a chance to analyze what's going on.
Have higher standards for yourself. A good girlfriend is loyal and consistent. Maybe she was comparing you to her ex too. Right now you are no better than her if you are comparing her to other girls.
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