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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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We never get a minute to have fun together because his grandmother always interrupts!
Q. I am a early fifties female that works in a beauty shop, for 5 years now. I met a younger male there 4 years ago that brings his 82 year old Grandmother to the shop. We became casual friends. He lives with his grandmother to help her out, and does ...
A. 19 April 2013: She's old selfish and stuck in her ways...it would be hard to explain to her that she should allow him more time to himself. Old people can act like young children and you know there is no reasoning with them. I think you should just try to accept ... (read in full...)
We never get a minute to have fun together because his grandmother always interrupts!
Q. I am a early fifties female that works in a beauty shop, for 5 years now. I met a younger male there 4 years ago that brings his 82 year old Grandmother to the shop. We became casual friends. He lives with his grandmother to help her out, and does ...
A. 18 April 2013: Oh dear what a pain in the butt she is...I can see why you are upset. She is probably terified that he's going to stop caring for her, if he becomes closer to you, so she's acting up!! When your old, you can get away with the bad behaviour and who ... (read in full...)
Should I ask the guy for a second date or assume he's not interested?
Q. Hi I had a date with a guy on Friday night. It went well, we had a good talk, laugh etc and have things in common. I find him attractive, but don't know if he feels the same way. I don't know if the chemistry was there. After a few drinks in a ...
A. 15 April 2013: Stop reading too much into the situation...you only had one meeting so no point torturing yourself over it.
You want to know if he'd like another date?
So text and ask 'Do you fancy another date?' It's short, sweet and to the point and requir... (read in full...)
Inviting him over - would it send the wrong message?
Q. I have been working 2 years now in my current workplace. Ever since, I have liked very much an older male colleague. Despite other men that have passed through my life, he was constantly on my mind. We don't work together every day but there were ...
A. 15 April 2013: If you invite him to your home (just the two of you alone) YES he will assume that you are going to have sex...at your age, you should not only know this, you should realise that you are makingit happen.... (read in full...)
When drunk my b/f told my friend she was the love of his life!
Q. We had a party last night and my boyfriend thinks this one friend is hot. She tends bar at a club we go to. He gets drunk and always talks about how hot she is to me and last night with my friends at the party told her she was the love of his life ...
A. 15 April 2013: I bet you felt humiliated...who wouldn't faced with that situation.
Men can be weird at times and we, as women are expected to forgive and forget the dumb stuff they do.
If we do the dumb stuff, they are furious and punish us, but we are rarel... (read in full...)
Married man let himself get close to me and now he is ignoring me.
Q. Hi all. Me and this married guy are "friends". We used to talk together a lot privately after work. He would stay back making extra time for me. He would always hold my eye contact for a long time whenever we saw each other. I caught him looki...
A. 15 April 2013: 'I don't want to get caught up in all the games'
Ha ha ha , lady this is a very funny quote!!
YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME!!!!
You are just fooling yourself that you arn't!!!
Don't you realise that everytime he says something nice or provocati... (read in full...)
I'm serious about him, but wondering about his female friend?
Q. I have been dating someone for a little over a year. It's pretty serious, and we've moved in together. I love him, and I enjoy spending time with him, but he has a very close woman friend, and that's the problem. They became close when they were ...
A. 13 April 2013: It's ok to have a female friend, but to flaunt her in front of you is wrong. If he doesn't know how upsetting that is for you, he cannot love you as much as he says.
He should not be spending the night at her house by himself and if she is the c... (read in full...)
I don't like swinging but my husband doesn't want to quit
Q. My husband and I have been swinging for 3 years and I was never really interested in it to begin with.now when I tell him I dont want to do it anymore he says but we are having fun when in actuality its him having fun. He gets a little to flirty ...
A. 13 April 2013: You let him get away with too much...pandoras box is open and he doesn't want to close it because he is having a good time.
Swinging is like that...it seems like a good idea at the time but for most people it end in divorce or break up. Anything... (read in full...)
I am his first girlfriend and he isn't sure that I am the one. Should I let him go?
Q. I'm really confused right now. My boyfriend and I have been going out together for 6 months. He's 31 and i am his first gf. So he has nothing to compare to when something doesn't feel right in the relationship. He told me he had this feeling that he ...
A. 12 April 2013: Should you let him go???
Lovely lady, he is almost gone anyways and is doing a damn good job on his own, He has only had one girlfriend and it seems your relationship has given him confidence and now he is wanting to go out and meet others. ... (read in full...)
Am I a sugardaddy or is possible for a relationship with a woman 20+ younger than me?
Q. what are your opinions of an older man getting with a younger girl and getting her pregnant? i met a girl who is 20+ years younger than me. we have talked and not having any children of my own, she said she is in love with me and will have a baby ...
A. 12 April 2013: Who cares!!
You are using her to give you a child, raising kids isn't cheap, so if you got to pay her to stick around after she pops out the sprog, then it will probably cost you dear!!
You sound like a cold callous selfish man so God knows wha... (read in full...)
"To go or not to go" that is my question?
Q. I've always gotten solid reliable from you guys, I expect nothing less. I work in a very small office..38-43 folks. I'm mid 50s, blessed with good genes, high metabolism, very active, bikes to work everyday rain, shine, snow, etc., you get the pict...
A. 12 April 2013: You need to push back a little because it seems those women are walking all over you. Forget the girl, she's leaving anyway but you are not and now is the time to assert your place at work.
Show up, be pleasant and engaging, enjoy yourself... (read in full...)
PMS wife, Tired of being married to a shewolf!
Q. I've been married for five and a half years, and as far as I can remember my wife has had some pretty vicious PMS. Growing up my mom never did so maybe that's why I never figured out how to deal with it as a man. Previous relationships we...
A. 12 April 2013: There are medications and treatments available to reduce the severity of PMS. Perhaps your doctor can prescribe something that will make her feel better and level out her moods.
When she's not PMS'ing, have a frank talk with her (away from the... (read in full...)
My unemployed boyfriend has HIV, but I still love him
Q. Hi 3 years ago my boyfriend told me he had HIV. I respected him and we went to the clinic and used condoms. His HIV was well under control. We've had some wonderful sex, however he kept it secret, and fell out with me for no apparent reason ...
A. 12 April 2013: Mary, are you happy or are you just settling for what you can get.
You picked a guy who is lazy unreliable and has a major health problem. If he is having unprotected sex with other women and not telling them he is HIV positive, that is illegal ... (read in full...)
He wants a relationship, but not with someone with children
Q. So I pretty much know what I should do, but I wanted a second opinion... There's this guy I started to hang out with outside of work (we're co-workers sort of). He has a temporary job working in the district I permanently work in. We started hangi...
A. 12 April 2013: If he is clingy and needy, that may explain why he doesn't want to be with someone who has kids...because maybe HE wants to be the kid!! (some people never grow up...fact)and have all the attention to boot!!
You, my darling, are young with you... (read in full...)
Wife is building a relationship with the builder while I sit home and give her space!
Q. I am 58 and my wife is 49 and wehave been happily together for 18 years and although the marriage has become a bit mundane I feel there is no excuse for her behaviour. She had been very protective of her phone of late causing me to become very ...
A. 11 April 2013: Even though you have been making all this effort and doing nice things for her, it all seems too little too late!
Sometimes relationships just come to a natural end and it does not matter wat you do, you cannot fix it. I think, from what you have... (read in full...)
GF is cheating and I don't see it?
Q. I have been dating my jealous, possessive, demanding and highly strung girlfriend for just over 2 years. I have constantly tried and failed to meet her demands and expectations. Her jealousy occasionally turns violent and emotional if she ever gets ...
A. 11 April 2013: Find someone else...life is to short!!... (read in full...)
Wife is building a relationship with the builder while I sit home and give her space!
Q. I am 58 and my wife is 49 and wehave been happily together for 18 years and although the marriage has become a bit mundane I feel there is no excuse for her behaviour. She had been very protective of her phone of late causing me to become very ...
A. 11 April 2013: Her flirting and wanting attention is nothing to do with the menopause (the menopause would more likely have the opposite effect).
She has gone off because your marriage has stopped being a marriage and has turned into a habit and she is most lik... (read in full...)
Should I date him? I'm worried he might be the jealous type....
Q. Hi. Im wondering whether to date this bloke or not. Basically we been talking for some time and we text most days he seems nice enough he even wrote me a very sweet poem the other day! But we have yet to meet Only problem is he seems the jealous ...
A. 10 April 2013: When a guy TELLS you he's the jealous type and starts calling you out on who you are in contact with, BEFORE you are even involved with him....it's probably not going to go well.
I often think tha when someone tells you up front what they are like... (read in full...)
She says that I'm just a friend and now is pretty much avoiding me
Q. 6 Months ago I fell in love with this girl to this day I am still in love with her, I used to obsess about her and when I finally became friends with her things started to get better but then I told her I liked her she avoided eye contact smiled ...
A. 8 April 2013: She has you on a string it seems. Wanting your attention one minute and avoiding you the next.
Play her at her own game, avoid her and don't give her any attention. Tell her you are not prepared to be played with and she needs to realise she cann... (read in full...)
I lost my friend over a rude text that I didn't send to him!
Q. I recently had a sexual encounter with a friend (married)(someone I've known since childhood),we re-connected and talked on the phone for over a yr and saw ea. other daily. Our relationship became sexual no strings attached. A family member decided ...
A. 8 April 2013: Sounds like he is using the message as an excuse to 'offload' you, now he has had his way with you.
Forget the friendship thing it's no longer a friendship and he's going to stay away from you so his wife don't find out.
Don't mess with people... (read in full...)
How do I make him realize that I'm a catch and he needs to make some effort!
Q. Hi, I have been friends w a guy for 12 years. He admitted to me about 5 years ago that when we first knew each other, in grad school, he had a big crush on me and kept his distance from me because of that. For the middle part of our friendship he ...
A. 8 April 2013: It sounds as if he has you as the 'fall back girl' to be honest.
Sketchy contact, poor effort and no plans to date properly.
He has the 'chat' down doesn't he...says stuff to keep you wondering but his actions say 'flaky and confusing'
... (read in full...)
Why do I keep on forgiving her broken promises?
Q. Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months almost and gave me a promise ring before her car broke down. Then her kids got sick and then she got a terrible flu. And she told me before that wants to marry me someday. But this week she...
A. 8 April 2013: Oh my we could sure use some of those promise rings here!!
:-) thanks for the explaination!... (read in full...)
He wants a relationship, but not with someone with children
Q. So I pretty much know what I should do, but I wanted a second opinion... There's this guy I started to hang out with outside of work (we're co-workers sort of). He has a temporary job working in the district I permanently work in. We started hangi...
A. 8 April 2013: You have grown feeling for him so friendship is going to be painful. The guy has made it clear what he does not want so nothing will change that.
For your own sanity, tell him you don't want to hang out with him anymore, and if he asks why, tel... (read in full...)
I tried to offer constructive advice, so now I'm "unsupportive"
Q. Hello everyone, Hoping for some advice. My partner is a member of a theatre group and he has been for four years. The problem is a bit odd. What it is, is that he keeps inviting me to their social events. I started out by going, but I noti...
A. 8 April 2013: I think I'd be inclined to leave him to it. He wants to moan but obviously doesn't want advice, so maybe just offer the occasional 'Oh dear, well never mind'
Some of those community groups can be really cliquey and a single man on his own is proba... (read in full...)
Should I experience my husband's friend?
Q. Any suggestions? I am 40 and have been married for 18 years and my husband has been my only sexual partner. Our sex life has had its ups and downs. Currently I have more sexual energy than my husband. This wasn't the case before, he wanted someth...
A. 8 April 2013: This is called a fantasy bcause it's something imagined in someones head, they dare themself with the thought and it all seems really exciting...
The reality is that in most cases, it leads to jealousy, deception, loss of trust and relation... (read in full...)
My married friend's husband keeps calling me! What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone! I first wrote for help here 3 years ago with the same problem and it is still going on. My friends husband used to ring me over and over again late at night begging me to talk to him or ring him back. Sometimes he would text. This...
A. 7 April 2013: You did the right thing. He blew up because he got caught out and he's probaly doing her a favour by lettingher out of the marriage. The fact tha he dumped her so quickly indicates that their mrriage was over anyway.
Be there for your friend, she'... (read in full...)
When is a woman at her sexual peak?
Q. When is a women's sexial prime...
A. 7 April 2013: I read a while back that it is considered a man is in his sexual peak at 18-20 and a woman from 35-40
Seems a little unbalanced but maybe one of life's quirks :-)... (read in full...)
He's pursued me for 2 years. Could he really be head over heels for me?
Q. I'm looking for some male perspective. I have been pursued for in excess of two years by a man. He tells me how beautiful I am and how I am the woman of his dreams. I recently ended a five year relationship, and have considered dating this man. ...
A. 7 April 2013: Why would you not try? Is there something else you arn't telling us?
Is he married?... (read in full...)
Why do I keep on forgiving her broken promises?
Q. Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months almost and gave me a promise ring before her car broke down. Then her kids got sick and then she got a terrible flu. And she told me before that wants to marry me someday. But this week she...
A. 6 April 2013: I don't think the OP is reading the advice given!!!... (read in full...)
Why do I keep on forgiving her broken promises?
Q. Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months almost and gave me a promise ring before her car broke down. Then her kids got sick and then she got a terrible flu. And she told me before that wants to marry me someday. But this week she...
A. 6 April 2013: Is a promise ring like an engagement ring?
Sorry, I a English, we dont have promise rings here?... (read in full...)
Dating for 2 months. Three weeks ago told him I think I'm pregnant. Now he's ignoring me. Worse, now I think he might be married
Q. dear cupid ; i have been seeing this guy at work for 2 months and I think i'm pregnant by him. Told him 3 weeks ago that I think I'm pregnant. But i think he is married. He hasn't touched me and we haven't made love since i told him i was pregnan...
A. 6 April 2013: Ok im gonna get tough here!!
You cannot waggle your fanny at some guy suspecting he is married and then throw your illegitimate pregnancy in his wifes face. That is the action of a bitch to be honest.
You think his wife deserves that?
... (read in full...)
Why does he always need to turn his phone off? Is he cheating?
Q. my boyfriend went to vegas with his friends but when ever i txt him he tells me he needs to turn his phone off could he be cheating on me his pregnant girlfriend please help....
A. 6 April 2013: As SVC said, you are probably driving im crazy. Asking him when he will be back is a tad clingy.
Chill out, relax and enjoy the space. How can he miss you if you are in his ear?... (read in full...)
Why do I keep on forgiving her broken promises?
Q. Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months almost and gave me a promise ring before her car broke down. Then her kids got sick and then she got a terrible flu. And she told me before that wants to marry me someday. But this week she...
A. 6 April 2013: So if you told her how it's affecting you when she doesn't text or call, and she has not given any reasonable explaination, maybe she's not the one for you.... (read in full...)
Should I become my husband's carer?
Q. First of all a bit of background. My husband and I are in our mid 20's, married since January this year, expecting our first child and very short of money due to my husbands variable work hours. My husband also has Aspergers syndrome (diagnosed as a ...
A. 6 April 2013: You are already his carer, so if you can get a little extra financial help, then why not?
Nobody has to know you are claiming. It won't be a huge deal for the kids because it simply isn't a big deal!!
They are going to grow up knowing their da... (read in full...)
Before I grew up I did wild stuff; he wants a threesome
Q. So I was telling my boyfriend of 7 months about my semi-wild past. I've had one night stands and threesoms before, even hooked up with a hand full of girls. Those days are gone, I've grown up and gained self respect for myself. He, on the other ...
A. 6 April 2013: Having a threesome is not a life goal...it's not like learning to drive or having your first child. Having a threesome is one of those crazy depraved ideas that people think they want, but they find the reality is most dissapointing.
I love tho... (read in full...)
Why do I keep on forgiving her broken promises?
Q. Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 months almost and gave me a promise ring before her car broke down. Then her kids got sick and then she got a terrible flu. And she told me before that wants to marry me someday. But this week she...
A. 6 April 2013: I speak as a single mother and it's really hard to date someone and keep them happy whilst trying to juggle kids and home and work at the same time.
I have always just enjoyed the dates and waited to see how things developed but one particul... (read in full...)
My partner points out my physical flaws, is this passive agressive behaviour?
Q. First my significant other told me he hates my hair. I have sort of wild curly hair that is hard to control. Now that it has grown longer it is more managable. Lots of people have told me they love my hair and would love to have curly hair so ...
A. 6 April 2013: I agree with Tisha...definitely call him out on his inappropriate comments. He sounds like a bit of a male chauvenist pig to be honest.
It's just not right to insult your lady and make her feel bad about herself...it's controlling behaviou... (read in full...)
Dating for 2 months. Three weeks ago told him I think I'm pregnant. Now he's ignoring me. Worse, now I think he might be married
Q. dear cupid ; i have been seeing this guy at work for 2 months and I think i'm pregnant by him. Told him 3 weeks ago that I think I'm pregnant. But i think he is married. He hasn't touched me and we haven't made love since i told him i was pregnan...
A. 6 April 2013: Crikey!!! If he is married and having an affair on the side with you which has resulted in a pregnancy, I bet he is crapping his pants right now!!
I am not going to lecture you, you are old enough to know what you have done is pretty dumb and irre... (read in full...)
Why does he always need to turn his phone off? Is he cheating?
Q. my boyfriend went to vegas with his friends but when ever i txt him he tells me he needs to turn his phone off could he be cheating on me his pregnant girlfriend please help....
A. 6 April 2013: Most guys when they are away from their partner, can kick back and not worry too much about what is going on 'at home'. If they are happy and trustworthy, they kinda figure that everything is ok and they don't need to be in constant touch. He is ... (read in full...)
Bi male and attracted to my straight male best friend!
Q. I'm a 20-year bi male and my straight best friend is also 20. He doesn't know I'm bi. We are close, have been best buds for almost 10 years now. I hate to say this, but I am sorta attracted to him and he is quite attractive. He also has a girlf...
A. 6 April 2013: There is no way of knowing how your friend would accept the news of your being bisexual. It's just one of those situations where you either live a lie, never tell him and carry on as usual, or tell him and have him either accept you or reject you.
... (read in full...)
I made an online profile hoping the guy would figure out it was me. I texted him and now he hasn't texted me back. Now what?
Q. I met a guy on line. Things were going better then expected. I found out he was still actively on more then one dating website. Even tho I know we owe eacn other nothing yet and he has full right to be dating around. I went on the website and made a ...
A. 6 April 2013: Why would you want him to think you are crazy when things were going well, maybe you were testing him based on how you have been treated in the past.
You kinda set him up and if he's realised it was you, he's going to think you are checking... (read in full...)
My ex wants me to apologize to his mother for raising my voice to her. Why should I?
Q. my ex have a woman while he was with me. i asked him about he said nothing. i ask him about our relationship he said nothing. i found out and keeping to my self, he have made attempt to pull me in back after the two days i found out. i didn't b...
A. 4 April 2013: Why are you still in contact with an ex who cheated on you?... (read in full...)
My married friend's husband keeps calling me! What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone! I first wrote for help here 3 years ago with the same problem and it is still going on. My friends husband used to ring me over and over again late at night begging me to talk to him or ring him back. Sometimes he would text. This...
A. 1 April 2013: If he has been begging and calling but you have NEVER answered him or replied back...how do you know what he wants?...is he flirting with you?...and if so, has he continued even though you have NEVER replied?...even though he gets no response...he ... (read in full...)
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