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*eckto

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28 years old. Married. Many life experiences.

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I'm finally moving to where my girlfriend is! Am I making the right decision?

Q.   I just don't know what to do. I've been dating my girlfriend for two years, and I love her a lot. We live 6 hours away from each other so we barely see each other, but talk every night and even fall asleep on the phone together. I'm madly in love ...

A.   5 September 2007: You won't know till you get there. But, how far has she gone with other people? Light flirting? Not bad. Getting massages? Not so bad. Making out? Bad. Having sex? Really really bad. It depends on how far she has gone without you there. ... (read in full...)

Could these antibiotics have caused thrush?

Q.   Hi, i dont think i should be too worried but i just want to put my mind at ease. I lost my virginity 3 days ago and it was protected sex as he wore a condom. I have also been ill and have been on penicillin tablets due to tonsilitis. I have noticed ...

A.   31 August 2007: Don't worry. Antibiotics can and often do cause thrush/yeast infections in women. Call up your doc and ask for diflucan or something like that. It'll go away soon enough.... (read in full...)

Is this even possible? Am I talking rubbish?

Q.   Ok so this may seem strange but I was having a feel around my vagina (trying to have a bloody orgasm!) and I notice that there are actually i think two canals running from the entrance of my vagina, i think they go in slightly different directions, ...

A.   31 August 2007: Actually, it IS possible, although VERY rare to have two uteruses with two vaginal canals. It's not a really problem if you do. Just unusual. You could just have an additional diverting canal. Not a big deal if you do. But, if you're on the pill... (read in full...)

Did I cheat or do I have worry issues?

Q.   Umm this is a wierd one but I am a real worrier and need to know that I am just snowballing a worry. Anyway, Im in a relationship with a person a I love very much. I went out with the girls one night and saw one of my boyfs friends out and latched ...

A.   30 August 2007: STOP WORRYING! You didn't cheat. You don't remember it. No one saw you do it. So you didn't do it. You're totally freaking yourself out. STOP. Just be more careful about drinking in excess in the future. ... (read in full...)

I'm having a lesbian romance, but I dont know how much chance we have of this working?

Q.   Hello and thank you in advance for your advice. Sorry the back ground is so long but my question wouldt make sense without it. Im a 26yr old gay woman, im currently working as a head of year in an english high school, studying hard to earn the extr...

A.   30 August 2007: You can only take this one day at a time. You're right to be concerned by the evidence of her past. People don't usually change much. But, if she hasn't given you any concrete reason since you've been together to doubt her feelings for you, or ... (read in full...)

How do i tell her that i have snuck out of the house to go to jazz concerts and play in a few jazz concerts?

Q.   This really isnt a life or death question but ive been playing the trumpet for 5 years now and ive been told that i am really good at it. However my passion is jazz and my mom wont let me join a jazz band only a classical band. She actually becomes ...

A.   29 August 2007: I know you don't think this is funny at all, but your post made me grin a bit. Ever read a biography on jazz legend Nina Simone? She snuck out of the house as a kid to sing jazz at clubs around town. She did it under an alias so she wouldn't get ... (read in full...)

Should i be concerned about my guy and this girl?

Q.   Okay what should I make of this? My b/f said he had to go out on a field trip with a female co-worker today. He had her come by our house and pick him up at 7:00 AM. This was a little weird, as he usually drives to work and employees take a field ...

A.   29 August 2007: One single incident like this wouldn't make me really concerned. File that in your memory and if you see other things that seem out of the ordinary, then get concerned. Where's there's smoke, there's fire, yes. But make sure it's really smoke ... (read in full...)

Every time I see something that reminds me of my ex girlfriend I break down into tears. Please help...

Q.   My gf has just broken up with me and i'm not handling it very well. I feel as if i'm slipping into depression and nothing seems worth doing. I truly loved this girl and was convinced that i wanted to be with her for life. When I used to tell her ...

A.   29 August 2007: It's totally normal and ok to be so depressed after something like this. Put away as many things as you can that remind you of her. Replace what you can, even with temporary things, for now. Beyond that, let yourself "mourn" then end of the ... (read in full...)

How can I get through to him that this episode makes me uncomfortable without sounding insecure?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Recently while at his place his Messenger popped up with a loud kiss inviting him to a falling hearts chat room. Her e-mail starts off as Hey babe. I asked him about this female before and he ...

A.   29 August 2007: I'd be concerned. Follow up on this. Any flirting he does with her should be the kind of flirting he would feel comfortable doing in front of you. Let him know this. Obviously he can't control how she talks to him, for instance, but if she's ... (read in full...)

My step dad has drug problems and i cant face going back to school!

Q.   Hi ive been on here before but in december of 2006 my stepfather became violent(yelling at everyone)and i was a sophmore in high school but since december he has been constantly mad and sneaky he has a drug problem serious drug problem...it has affe...

A.   28 August 2007: Hi there, I know from personal experience some of what you're feeling. Can you think of school in a different way? School can be an escape from your troubled home life. You're in that tough place in life where you're old enough to know what you ... (read in full...)

My girlfriends parents are trying to come between us!

Q.   My gf/s parents are trying to seperate us (after almost 11 months together) because I have had a few minor traffic violations in the past. last being in 1994 and they act like they are all high society and people will think bad things if they ever ...

A.   28 August 2007: Of course you don't like it. You're right, 1994 was a while ago. Even a DUI after 13 years isn't so bad if you don't drink and drive anymore (for example). But, what does she think about it? Is she passive about their intervening? Does she ... (read in full...)

I just feel 'not bothered' about socialising at the moment. This is not like me normally. Help!

Q.   WHY WHY WHY?! Why do i want to be alone right now? I have lots of oppotunities to go and see friends but i just feel "not bothered" This feeling has been around for about a week now. I just want to be ALONE. It's not like me. Pleasee Pleasse...

A.   28 August 2007: Totally normal. Don't worry. We all go through times in our lives when we would rather be left to our own devices. It's good to have "you" time.... (read in full...)

My friend has been in rehab and doesn't seem to want to talk t me anymore. Is that normal?

Q.   Do people get depressed and not really want to interact with others when they are trying to sober up? My friend is an alcoholic and she went to rehab and she's trying to stay sober, but I haven't heard from her and she used to call me a lot. ...

A.   28 August 2007: I hope the counselors at the rehab are working with her. Don't take her lack of interest in you personally. What she's going through is so huge. What she is hopefully doing is trying to concentrate on herself in a new way. Trying to discover ... (read in full...)

After he climaxed, he wasn't in the mood anymore - what can I do about this?

Q.   Well me and my boyfriend were going to have sex last night and I thought I would jack him off and then we would have some fun and then f*ck. Well after I jacked him off about 5 minutes later he wasnt in the mood anymore. Does that mean he isnt into ...

A.   28 August 2007: Usually after a guy climaxes, they get really tired and many fall asleep. It's a biological thing. So, I wouldn't take it personally if he is "done" after he climaxes. As far as getting him in the mood, is it 50/50? Does he ever persue you sexu... (read in full...)

My guy of 3 years slept with another girl - several times! What should I do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have a child together, he works away alot, I found out a month ago he has been unfaithfull to me several times when working away, and slept with another girl. we seperated, he now wants be back, saying ...

A.   28 August 2007: Someone can have a problem with infidelity and still be very sorry every time they do it. If you two have only been together for 3 years, and have a child, yet he still feels the need to cheat on you, then I say those aren't good stats! If he's... (read in full...)

I'm worried that having braces may have discolored my teeth!

Q.   okay well i had braces for 18months now, and am getting them taken off next week. Im a bit woried tho that i might have lots of stains on my teeth from where the braces were/weren't. so i was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to whiten my ...

A.   28 August 2007: I had braces for 4 years. No stains. Don't worry, girl. :) Just wait till they're off. Your teeth don't change color that much, unless you smoke a couple packs a day and drink only coffee and tea.... (read in full...)

Am I being a little too paranoid?

Q.   I recently moved out from my girlfriend of 2 years. we were very much in love, but within a month she had invited two other men over for coffee she had met online on seperate occasions. then we started speaking again and decided to give our ...

A.   22 August 2007: It doesn't matter what happend while you two were broken up. It's none of your business because you were broken up at the time. Hard facts, but it's true. It wasn't cheating if something did happen. Move on, get it out of your head, stop obs... (read in full...)

We're getting married! But all of a sudden, I'm scared that I am making a huge mistake.

Q.   I'm due to be married in a few weeks time. Thing is, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing!! I really thought it was what I wanted, at first when he proposed out of the blue I was rather taken aback, and I did say yes because I couldnt exactly ...

A.   7 August 2007: I know lots of money has already been spent on your wedding prep, but you actually CAN back out, even now. Look at it this way, if you think this is someone you don't really want to marry right now, and you go ahead and marry him, then you'll be ... (read in full...)

Everytime I have sex with my boyfriend and to the bathroom afterward, I have really painfully burning when I urinate

Q.   Lately, almost everytime I have sex with my boyfriend and to the bathroom afterward, I have really painfully burning when I urinate. The sex itself isn't painful. I do/I have trouble getting lubricated, but we usually take it really slow star...

A.   7 August 2007: FYI, if you don't already, you should always try and go to the bathroom and pee right after you have sex. The act of having sex can push bacteria up into your urethra. Going to pee as soon as you can after sex helps push that bacteria back out so ... (read in full...)

raped pregnant and scared. Help!

Q.   im 14 8 months pregnant and i was raped yesterday someone came into my home and hit me and raped me while my family wasnt home could it have harmed my baby?? im afraid to be left alone now.. could it have been planned? does this man know me? h...

A.   7 August 2007: Great news!! Good for you!!... (read in full...)

He treats me like his cook and cleaner! I love him very much but just don't seem to be getting anything back...

Q.   hi there i have been in a relationship for 2 yrs i met him as i had just split with my ex husband i have 2 children and he has 1 he is currently in the army and i only see him on weekends but when he comes home he totaly disregards me and it doesnt ...

A.   7 August 2007: I suggest having a very serious talk with him. Tell him basically what you just posted here. If he can't be "bothered" to try and fix things with you, then I would seriously consider moving on. It sounds like you're being used. Good luck.... (read in full...)

raped pregnant and scared. Help!

Q.   im 14 8 months pregnant and i was raped yesterday someone came into my home and hit me and raped me while my family wasnt home could it have harmed my baby?? im afraid to be left alone now.. could it have been planned? does this man know me? h...

A.   6 August 2007: You HAVE GOT to tell someone. For the sake of your unborn baby, you HAVE GOT to tell someone. If this rapist had an STD, it could complicate things with your pregnancy. If you feel you can't tell your family, then go to your doctor IMMEDIATELY ... (read in full...)

My wife caught me talking to other women on dating sites.

Q.   ok well here goes. i used to be on all these dating sites. then i got married. but i continued to go on them well. the other day my wife caught me, and seen that i had been talking to these women. so she then accused me of lieing, cheating, and meet ...

A.   6 August 2007: Here's the reason I think most women in her shoes would be very pissed off: It appears that you're not committing to your wife 100%. When you continue conversations after you're married with women, ESPECIALLY on dating sites, then it appears that... (read in full...)

I'm missing a person to love! When will I stop worrying?

Q.   I am 22 years old and have a steady job in the military, I am attractive and down to earth! I do amazing things in life and love everyone....but for some reason i am missing something! A person to love!!! Why is it so important to find that? When ...

A.   6 August 2007: Just a brief comment, since the other posters seem to have it right: I have always found, the moment you stop worrying about it, someone comes along. Sometimes we inadvertently put so much pressure on ourselves, a person who might be interest... (read in full...)

He can't cum, even after an hour.

Q.   me and my b/f have sex for like an hour and I can't get him to cum is there something wrong with me...

A.   6 August 2007: My first guess is that it has nothing to do with you. It may just be a problem for him. Have you talked about it with him? If not, chances are that he is just as concerned about it as you are. Be the one to start the conversation, and you may be ... (read in full...)

SITE NEWS: We had over quarter of a million people visit the site over the past month!

Q.   Just checking the site stats. We had another milestone... for the first time, in the past 30 days, we had over quarter of a million people visit the site... not 250,000 "hits" or "visits" but actual unique visitors! As counted by Google Anal...

A.   6 August 2007: Yeoza!... (read in full...)

36, still a virgin and have no desire for sex! Am I strange?

Q.   I am 36 years old and still a virgin! I have never had any desire to have sex with anybody! I have never seen a real life woman naked (and have no desire to do so, and I am definitely not Gay!!!) Please can you tell me why people have a deisre for ...

A.   2 August 2007: Yes, you do seem strange to me, but what does it matter to you? You seem to feel very strongly about it and you have no desire to change, right? If that's the case, then who cares what other people think!... (read in full...)

What should I say to my boyfriend when I am really tired?

Q.   Hi everyone. I was wondering if this is a bad thing. So My boyfriend is always touching me in a sexual way, like he will just walk up to me and grap my chest or the other part of me. Well Last night when we went to bed I was starting to fall asleep ...

A.   1 August 2007: I agree with penta. Ultimately it comes down to respect. He may be too young and inexperienced to know that he's not treating you respectfully, so your job is to tell him how you feel. Do you feel like an object when he grabs you like that? Do y... (read in full...)

Is there something wrong with wanting a baby at this age?

Q.   I'm 14 and my bf is 15 and we have been having sex and i got worried that i was pregnant then i got my period. And now i want to have a baby! Is there something wrong with that? And how would i tell my mum? She would go crazy. I really Luv my bf an...

A.   1 August 2007: As the others have said, there is nothing wrong with "wanting" a baby. But there's everything wrong with actually having a baby at your age. I'm 28 years old and I WANT a baby, too. But, I also know I'm not at the point in my life and career wher... (read in full...)

Is it true that if you wear a bra to bed your breasts don't grow?

Q.   i really need some help is it true that if you were a bra to bed they either shrink or don't grow. My mum and my cousins take their off and it really concerns me!! plz help thanx for any advice xxx...

A.   1 August 2007: There are no scientific studies to my knowledge that say whether bras have any effect on breast growth. I doubt they do, anyway. There are a few studies that indicate women who wear bras 24 hours a day have a greater risk of developing breast ... (read in full...)

I have a bump down there, do you think it's a std?

Q.   I have been sleeping with this guy for about a month now and this morning I found a bump "down there" it hurts just to the touch. Do you think I got a STD from him? My next womens visit isn't for a month and they dont have any earllier appointments. ...

A.   1 August 2007: Yeah, it could be anything from an ingrown hair to a pimple to a genital wart, etc... Safe thing to do is go to the doc, but since you can't get in for a month, call the office and ask if you can speak with the doctor, a nurse or your doctor's assi... (read in full...)

Is it possible to have your period still, even if you are pregnant?

Q.   i'm a little concerned. This might sound really weird, but I was wondering if any girls out there have had proper real periods when pregnant. I was lying in bed last night and I felt like a fluttering in my belly - a very strange sensation, from wha...

A.   1 August 2007: Take a pregnancy test!... (read in full...)

She cheated on me - but it was 20 years ago

Q.   I've been married almost 19 years, I have two boys (15 and 17), and my marriage is decent (not bad, but not heaven). I just found out that while we were dating, my wife cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I know this was over 20 years ago, bu...

A.   31 July 2007: You said, "But what about the doubt? What would have happened to our relationship way back then if I did find out 20+ years ago? Would we have still gotten married? If so, would there have been trust issues? Or would our relationship be that much ... (read in full...)

I would like to change the kind of guys I attract

Q.   I keep circulating around the same type of guys in my love life. If the guy does not belong to someone else, he probably has a baby. I'm single and would like to change the type of guys i attract. How do i do that?...

A.   31 July 2007: Think about the things you do in a relationship or when attracting men. Are there anythings you do that could give the wrong signal? Are there any common threads between these men you date? If there are, then are there signs you can see early ... (read in full...)

She cheated on me - but it was 20 years ago

Q.   I've been married almost 19 years, I have two boys (15 and 17), and my marriage is decent (not bad, but not heaven). I just found out that while we were dating, my wife cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I know this was over 20 years ago, bu...

A.   31 July 2007: Talk it through with her. Verbalize these feelings you have. I don't think it's something so big that you would even need to contemplate divorce. And if you feel the same way, tell her that. But, this issue is something that you apparent... (read in full...)

I want to be the one who teaches my 13 year old cousin about sex

Q.   My cousin is 13 and when i was young, i kind of explored in her vagina. i didn't know what i was doing. is it ok to teach her things about sex and what to do in a situation where she wants to have sex? i want to be the one to teach her what to do ...

A.   27 July 2007: NO. NO WAY. Do not touch your cousin anymore - ever again. DO NOT. Go to your school counselor, if you keep having these thoughts, and ask him/her to help you.... (read in full...)

My wife has gone to be with her terminally ill mum, but shes not a care for me, Ive got problems too!!

Q.   my wifes mother has terminal cancer and she has gone to be with her which is what i wanted for her to do. The only thing is that i feel that im out of sight out of mind i have an eye problem and could go blind with in 5 years started treatment but ...

A.   27 July 2007: I'm sorry that you're struggling with your sight. That must be so difficult and scary. BUT, your wife can't be in two places at once. It seems like she went to be with her mother because she knows she's only got a limited amount of time to be with... (read in full...)

Hes cheating with me, but wants to wait for his relationship to end naturally, How can I feel more at ease about this ??

Q.   About three months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up, and a man that I had known and loved for five years (but never pursued it or said anything to anyone as he is attached and 18 years older) kissed me. Since then we have been seeing each othe...

A.   27 July 2007: End "naturally?" What the heck does that mean?? I think that's a load of BS, if you ask me. If he's cheating on her, then he needs to buck up and stop wasting everyone's time. By staying with her and not "hurting" her "feelings" he's misl... (read in full...)

I had unprotected sex with another man and worry I could be pregnant

Q.   I always have unprotected sex with my boyfriend. Two days before my cycle was to begin, I had unprotected sex with another man. I did not receive my period. Is it likely for the other man to have gotten me pregnant?...

A.   26 July 2007: Go to the grocery store and buy a pregnancy test. Read the directions and follow them. Yes, it is likely.... (read in full...)

I am 25 and really scared of sex due to a painful past

Q.   Im 25 and i am really scared of sex, i was abused when i was a teenager by a family member and physically and mentally abused by an ex boyfriend. it has always affected my relationships with men past and presant. I ve recently meet a lovely guy and ...

A.   26 July 2007: Well, what you want is to move beyond the abuse and feel more normal, right? What you want is to have a loving relationship with someone and get to the point where you can enjoy sex? But, you're too "proud" to go to a therapist? What does that... (read in full...)

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