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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 22 June 2013: I think it's staggering, the amount of people who can look you in the eye and lie so cooly and so adeptly.
(I was chatted up by a guy in a bar once and he was so convincing, telling me how his wife left him and he had his daughters on the weekend.... (read in full...)
Ideas for fun first dates?
Q. You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women be...
A. 21 June 2013: For a first date I think people just want to talk and not be distracted by doing something active.
I always think a dinner date is nicer than meeting for a coffee, you can find out about eachothers tastes in food, enjoy the more relaxed atmosphe... (read in full...)
I want my ex back but need to know how he feels he has a g/f!
Q. Hello! So I'm a bit confused. I am still interested in my ex boyfriend. Every new guy that I meet reminds me how much I want my ex. Recently I met up with my ex for dinner. It was nice to see him. We talked a lot- about random things and about wh...
A. 21 June 2013: You arn't going to get the green light OR rejection from this guy and neither should you expect it.
You had your time with him and things didn't work out, now he has moved on and that is probably why you are thinking that you want him back.
... (read in full...)
He confessed he was married then deleted his email account! How do I get over the shock and heartbreak?
Q. How do I forget this guy?! He emailed me yesterday confessing that he was married and hadn't been fair with me the past 6 mos. He then deleted his email acct so I can't reply to him. I have his cell number but don't want to appear desperate so ...
A. 21 June 2013: If he contacts you again and you start up with him again, your life is going to descend into a new type of hell...believe me!
If he had any intention of leaving his wife, firstly he would have told you he was married from the go get. Then he would... (read in full...)
Why would an ex delete you completely from their life?
Q. Why would an ex delete you completely from his / her life? Especially when you did nothing wrong to them and you did not hurt them in any way....
A. 21 June 2013: For closure, for privacy, to allow each person to move on and recover from the broken relationship.
I know it sounds weird but if you had a bad break up with someone, them deleting you and leaving you alone is probably one of the most respectf... (read in full...)
I need advise about how to handle a co-worker and don't want to go running to my unhelpful boss!
Q. Not sure if this forum helps with work issues also but, need some advice on how to handle a situation I am in at my place of employment. I am a site supervisor of a Before and After School Program for a non-profit organization. I provide struct...
A. 21 June 2013: The woman sounds like a pain in the butt and you are doing the right thing by rising above it. If she makes any more personal comments or sarcastic remarks, make a note of them and who was there to witness them. Just the personal stuff as there is ... (read in full...)
I have moved on and have a nice boyfriend so why a I missing my ex?
Q. my daughters father and i broke up march 15 2012, it took me forever to get over him! I started dating my current boyfriend Feb 15. Me and my boyfriend got into a fight and he went back home he lived 30 minutes away. I have my own place and he ...
A. 20 June 2013: I think the fact your ex (your daughters father) has had a new baby, it's made the fact he has moved on very real.
You are going through current difficulties with your new partner so it hilights that all is not going well and perhaps you are havi... (read in full...)
No trust in boyfriend right now... ruining a 3 year relationship
Q. I'm having a major issue with my boyfriend of 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. He's the first person I've fallen in love with, and sometimes I wonder if that's the problem. My being too in love. Let me state that I don't know if this is MY issue or ...
A. 20 June 2013: My serious answer would be that you absolutely need some therapy to help you deal with your issues.
You have extreme mistrust and it appears to be making your rational thinking skew!
I know you know it's not normal to ask someone to const... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: It is true that a lot of married men will try it on, with single women because they see them as a safe opportunity to get a thrill and some sex on the side.
I think you can build on these shameful feelings you have and turn them into somethin... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: I agree with YOUWISH and I think she has completely nailed the answer you need!
Pandora's box is open and I am sorry to say, the friendship with him and his wife is OVER!!...you must accept that unless you want to unleash hell on your life.
... (read in full...)
Wondering if I should leave my wife?
Q. My wife of 5 years is emotionally abusive and unstable. I don't love her anymore and my heart has become totally closed off to her. Should I stay, though, for our daugher? It's not horrible, but I'm unhappy and counseling hasn't worked. Thank ...
A. 17 June 2013: You'd leave your child with an abusive and unstable person? or are you hoping to take your daughter with you?... (read in full...)
Am I being too pushy because of my past relationships?
Q. This is a question related to my other question: Why is it, that when I see a girl I like, she replies back to my message, she texts me, that I go over the top and text her with multiple messages? It's only human nature to try and rush things....
A. 17 June 2013: I agree with Spanner!!
The more you like a woman, the slower you should go. That way you get to know much more about her as women tend to divulge more when they think the guy isn't chasing.
Maybe you are judging every woman you meet by bad thin... (read in full...)
This man has left me wondering if i'll ever have a proper relationship
Q. I'm 39, beautiful and never have had a boyfriend. I had a very special relationship for 7 years with a man who was the most amazing man when we would spend time together. When we weren't together, he was being the most amazing man to another. Then ...
A. 16 June 2013: Not exactly the same situation, but yes I have had trauma twice in my life. I was married for many year (over 20) when I found out my husband was leading a double life and following divorce I met another man whom I lived with who, I found out was a ... (read in full...)
Curious about my wife's sexual past
Q. My wife and I have been together 9 years, and had the whole "how many people have you ******" conversation many years ago. Ever since then, I, like many husbands, still wonder "is that her real number, or is she holding some back?" The history she ...
A. 16 June 2013: http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-10-05/why-does-it-matter-how-many-partners-shes-had/
I found this really good article about this subject. It's written by a guy and I think it explains really well why men are curious or worried about their partners... (read in full...)
Is he worth my time?
Q. I have been with someone for over three years. He has more than enough luggage with him that he carries, but all his family are deceased. I am going through a divorce now after knowing this person for three years. He knows all about it and has ...
A. 16 June 2013: Wow you surley jumped out of the frying pan into the fire didn't you?
I think your own post, holds all the clues and all of the answers to be honest, maybe you just needed to write it all down and get it out of your head.
The marriage ending ... (read in full...)
This man has left me wondering if i'll ever have a proper relationship
Q. I'm 39, beautiful and never have had a boyfriend. I had a very special relationship for 7 years with a man who was the most amazing man when we would spend time together. When we weren't together, he was being the most amazing man to another. Then ...
A. 16 June 2013: I am a little confused by your post OP. This man you were involved with wasn't a boyfriend, so I wonder if you were intimate and sexual with him?
He was obviously between two women and when he made his choice, he was cold and cruel towards ... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 16 June 2013: Was the person who told you she would stretch if she had sex with a man with a large penis, a medically trained person?
Because I am medically qualified and I work in obstetrics and gynae medicine so I know what I am talking about.
Whoever... (read in full...)
Would you dump a nice guy that makes too little money?
Q. Im in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a nice guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very little ...
A. 16 June 2013: Seems a bit calculated after only one date...I always thought it was a bad sign if you go on a date looking for husband material...in my book, it don't work that way.
The guy might get a better job or win the lottery...who knows, but if you ask ... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: To the anonymous who replied to me...
A large penis will NOT stretch a vagina permanently!!
A vagina is designed to get a baby's head through and then go back...a head is a much wider than a penis and contains skull...a penis is just flesh and mu... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: Your wife having an affair would not stretch her vagina. Not a woman of her age at least (if she is in your age range). It could be possible that if you yourself haven't had sex in that length of time that your penis may have lost a few millimeters ... (read in full...)
Do I keep fighting for love or pull back?
Q. My 9 year relationship with my boyfriend just ended 6 weeks ago. The first 5 years were great. The last 4, not so great. I gained a lot of weight and pushed him away. Wouldn't have sex with him. Wouldn't even let him touch me. I was mean to him. I ...
A. 14 June 2013: I guess that's why we have the saying:
'You don't know what you've got until it's gone'
He's having ex-sex with you because you are handing it to him on a plate and he is telling you that it won't make him love you again...You need to believe ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are not on the same page about how to raise my kids. Please advise?
Q. I have been married for 8 years it has been pretty tough. My boys are from a previous marriage. my husband came into this marriage knowing how I was as a mom. I do everything a mom would do for their kids, have I made mistake absolutely!!! My ...
A. 14 June 2013: 'He doesn't have kids of his own'...
That says it all to be honest!
The world is full of bullying 'over the top' step fathers and the kids bear the scars. It's totally disrespectful for him to tell you that you are more of a friend than a pa... (read in full...)
My husband has become very vulgar during sex
Q. I have been married several years and our sex life has definitely taken a turn for the worst!! It's was great and all the time in the beginning but now it's good but very far between. Over the years my husband has made very rude comments during s...
A. 13 June 2013: He sounds as if he is creating a little fantasy during sex, perhaps to spice things up.
Sex can become stale in long relationships and sometimes one or other partner might decide to add a little oil to the flame. You might be someone who shys awa... (read in full...)
Anyone good with dream interpretation?
Q. Hi, I usually don't think too much about my dreams, but this one is making me feel, so strange, and I just can't forget about it. I thought, maybe someone can give me some ideas here. I dreamed, that I was visiting a summerhouse what my dad buil...
A. 13 June 2013: I also think this is very revealing of something from your past.
A house does symbolise the inner self and the yellow police tape and things covered up with blankets suggest something that has been hidden or 'kept out' of.
Water in drea... (read in full...)
My husband is jealous of my ex husband and acts foolish
Q. I have two boys from my ex husband he is a good dad provides well for his boys, truck for 16th birthday we didn't pay a penny no insurance, we help when and if he needs some. Child support is paid early...our boys are loved and taken care. We ...
A. 13 June 2013: Plain old fashioned jealousy.
Does he have kids? and if he does, is he doing as good a job at supporting them as your ex?
If this is the case then maybe he feel shown up by your ex and that's his own stupid fault. Some people do that...slag o... (read in full...)
Husband stays out until 4 am..........and wonders why I am upset about it
Q. My husband went out last night with some work colleagues for a work dinner. He said he would be home in a few hours. Well, he came home at 4 am this morning drunker than a skunk, no keys and lost his $700 cell phone and had the nerve to ask me this ...
A. 13 June 2013: I agree, arrange your own nights out with your girlfriends and go an have some fun.
Men are selfish, they put themselves first so he's just being true to form. He's acted like a jackass, got drunk, stayed out and lost his phone...it happens ... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating he says he needs time. I don't know what I did wrong?
Q. I've been dating this man for 5 months. Things have gone as they should and we've gotten very close. We spend every weekend together and see each other several times during the week. I have let him lead the relationship. It has always been him ...
A. 13 June 2013: Him offering friendship but saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship (after intimacy) is a bit like having the cone but not the ice cream...it's shabby and not acceptable and men should get it into their thick heads that when they dump a ... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating he says he needs time. I don't know what I did wrong?
Q. I've been dating this man for 5 months. Things have gone as they should and we've gotten very close. We spend every weekend together and see each other several times during the week. I have let him lead the relationship. It has always been him ...
A. 12 June 2013: The most damning piece of evidence is that he has said he needs time away from you...sadly that means you are not top of his list and he has other things on his mind.
Saying he cares about you and wants to play it by ear is non conducive with ask... (read in full...)
If I give her what she wants, how do I know I will get what I want later?
Q. My girlfriend and I have had an amazing relationship. We clicked right from the start and I have to say that I have never had feelings for anyone else than I have for her. We had a small issue earlier this year where she thought she didn't have ...
A. 12 June 2013: I agree with the first post..
Back off from her and do your own thing for a while! She is all about the drama and having control! Speed up, slow down...I want you I dont want you...it's way too confusing!
I think you are scared of losing her, a... (read in full...)
He said "I'll always love you" but then broke up with me. What does he mean?
Q. my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you" what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a ...
A. 12 June 2013: He probably does love you, but he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you...if he did, then he'd stay.
Maybe he feels tied down and wants to see if he can meet someone else or maybe he just wants time to pursue other things in his life... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 12 June 2013: I dont usually confide my personal situation but I am currently dating a man I met on Match 2 and a half months ago. I am 48 and he is 41. He lives near to me and we have had several nice dates and speak on the phone every evening...but I still have ... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 10 June 2013: To be honest, you walked right into it...and he got you!!
He sounds like a professional womanizer and I wouldn't believe him when he says he never had an affair or a fling before...it's a load of bull!!
Yeah you were a little dumb to fall for... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 10 June 2013: I really feel for you and can understand why you feel so decieved! The guy is telling you he doesn't want to be in a relationship but has put that he does, on his new profile...In my book, that makes him a liar!! Either he is lying about wanting to ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend back and have no idea how to cope without him
Q. I am deeply in love with my ex boyfriend who has dumped me because he couldn't decide whether he wanted a single life or a relationship so it caused a lot of fights. I havn't seen him for 2 months and he phones me about once a week which is ni...
A. 6 June 2013: Change your number!
He should not be calling you, it's cruel and unsettling.
He may think he is doing you a favour but all he is doing is making you feel not good enough for him. He doesn't want to be with you...is it worth accepting the scraps o... (read in full...)
He keeps saying we should meet but never follows through with it
Q. i,ve been talking to a guy on a dating web site for 8 weeks he seems really nice but he keeps saying we should meet but every time i suggest a day or time he can never make it i sent him my mobile but hes never used it what should i do?...
A. 6 June 2013: Sadly it's probably because he is already in a relationship of some kind. A lot of people use dating sites just to pass time and chat to people. It's a covert way of gaining some attention, having a fanciful connection but never having to take ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend wants me to be friends with his new gf
Q. I went out with this man for 5 months and it did not feel right, I did not love him and we are not compatible. Due to his new religion; he tries to tell me what to do and not. I am an open-minded person and respect everyone but I do not like to...
A. 2 June 2013: This all sounds really weird to be honest!!
If you do not want to have anything more to do with this very controlling man and his weird girlfriend then block them and move on with your life!!
It all sounds like some bizarre game and you cou... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy back to his warm usual self?
Q. Hi, need help understanding the male psychology a bit please. There is a guy I met at the pub (35), he was going through divorce and my case is the same. We connected, in his words he was very intrigued by my story and he found me very attractive. ...
A. 2 June 2013: 'I really like him and don't want anything from him except just to be in touch and be there for him but not sure how best to get back to that warm affectionate place'
Read this again!...it's a massive contradiction!
You don't want anything fr... (read in full...)
My muslim boyfriend's family have picked out a girl for him, they don't know about me. Will he man up?
Q. I am a female British white person i been with my Muslim boyfriend for 3 years. i very friendly with his auntie and uncle who he lives with. He loves me and i love him however things have come ahead and apparently they don't know that we are seeing ...
A. 2 June 2013: He won't refuse the marriage...he can't! It is his religion, his culture and his family honour...it's that simple!
He has told you that you can only be his girlfriend, so you need to accept that...because those are his words and that is what he ... (read in full...)
I treated her badly she has a restraining order on me but I can't forget her!
Q. Hi I feel like I'm going crazy. I need some serious help. I'm in love with my childhood best friend. I've been in love with her since elementary school. Words can't describe how amazing she is. She is sweet, kind, compassionate, selfless, drop dead ...
A. 31 May 2013: If you have been physically abusive to her then you are a danger to her and the restraining order is not only justified, but necessary.
You have major issues and you need unravelling by a mental health professional. Obsessive jealousy is a very d... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my relationship and haven't told my parents about him yet
Q. So, I am dating a guy for the last 5 months who I think is great. He is funny, insightful, loving, and we have a wonderful time together. But there are two issues that really bother me greatly:1) He has kids (a boy that is 9 and a daughter that ...
A. 31 May 2013: I think it's a case of him being a 'partial match' but not quite right. Your gut is obviously making you hold back because there are things about him that don't quite suit you.
Him having two children is a major factor...children are part of the d... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant b/f cheated, he lied until the girl sent the video of them having sex!
Q. I am 8 months pregnant and just found out my boy friend cheated, he said it was a mistake and he's so sorry but I don't know what to do, I want to be with him but I dont at the same time! The worst part is she filmed it and sent it to me, he ...
A. 31 May 2013: If he has cheated then he's no good. It would be reasonable to accept that he made a mistake except for the fact he lied to cover it all up and he must have given the other woman your contact details or how else could she contact you to 'share' what ... (read in full...)
The thought of this man really excites me but I don't want to lose my husband
Q. I am riddled with guilt, anxiety, and excitement. I am married 15 years to a man I have known 20 years. Recently I met a man at a place I usually shop. We struck up a conversation, and met almost every day there. Finally he asked me if I am ...
A. 29 May 2013: If you don't want to lose your husband then stop messing around with another man...it really is that simple. There is no alternative, no magic wand to make it all go away...you are an adult, you know what you are doing and only you can make it stop.... (read in full...)
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