A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently had a sexual encounter with a friend (married)(someone I've known since childhood),we re-connected and talked on the phone for over a yr and saw ea. other daily. Our relationship became sexual no strings attached. A family member decided to joke me (I was unaware at the time) by responding to his text. The response was rude and graphic (something I would never say). I tried to xplain what happened, it wasn't me and I apologized, he wasn't trying to hear it. That was over a month ago and to this day I miss my friend. I don't care about the sex, I wish we'd never took it to another level. He stopped texting or receiving my texts and calls. It hurt so bad because he's been treating me like I don't exist. I said I should've ran as hard as I could because I've had strong feelings for him since we were young and was so scared of getting my feelings hurt in any way. Never thought someone I've known all my life would treat me this way. Guess the jokes on me huh? I just want to know why? just want my friend back not the sex. Although the sex was great but it's not important. What do I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 April 2013):
 As usual AuntyEm nailed it.
He used the text as an excuse to end something with you that he wanted over and didn't want to be an adult about ending.
IF his wife said he could be friends with you if you only saw him when they were together... all arrangements and contact made by her, would you still be willing to accept that friendship?
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 April 2013):
 I have to agree with AuntieEm, the text was his excuse to stop seeing you. And since he most likely didn't want to be your "friend" anymore, it was the perfect excuse for him.
As for whatever family member thought this was a great joke, I think you need to have some serious words about privacy and respect. I mean WHO does that? a 12 year old. Not a grown ass person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2013): AuntyEm has said it all in a very concise nutshell. There is no friendship and he is using the text as an excuse to drop you and move on. Try and move on too.
He belongs to someone else and cant offer you anything. He didnt want to offer you anything, he just took what you had to offer and shot through at the first opportunity. Hes a cheating husband and poor friend material. Whats to like about this guy? You can do much better, just be glad you did run and you arent in his wife`s position right now of being married to a cheat.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (9 April 2013):
I guess it wasn't much of a friendship then. I suppose the message must have woken something in him. It probably even brought him back to reality. But maybe he will come back, who knows. But I don't think a friendship based on hurting one other would ever last anyway. Adults sure do act like teenagers sometimes.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Sounds like he is using the message as an excuse to 'offload' you, now he has had his way with you.
Forget the friendship thing it's no longer a friendship and he's going to stay away from you so his wife don't find out.
Don't mess with people of the opposite sex who are already in relationships, it's an emotional rollrcoaster and a HUGE waste of time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): OP unfortunately the "friendship" was over the minute you relegated yourself to being just his bit on the side. In fact I think he only really reconnected with you as a bit on the side.
Sex generally messes up friendships but it can be looked past sometimes. Cheating is another level altogether though, you no longer are his friend OP but the woman who cheated with him, the woman who perhaps in his mind seduced him, "made" him unfaithful and he took the first excuse he could to completely get rid of you. Maybe his wife even saw that message and everything got found out.
OP you can cry and moan about how this is unfair and stuff but what did you expect? Do you think he slept with you to honour his friendship with you? No, he slept with you to dishonour his marriage and you helped him do that.
Not only that but I don't think you give a damn about the friendship and you actually want him.
OP you can tell us all day long that it's about losing him as a friend but you've been cheating with him and probably having an emotional affair with him before you even had sex.
I don't believe you for one second that your intentions are innocent, I think you want him back to continue your affair emotionally as well as physically. I think you have very strong feelings for this guy and were fully sure you'd be able to steal him away but what's happened is what happens to most side pussy, you get dumped as soon as you become a chore.
For the record OP, that text didn't get rid of him, he was looking for a way out before that and this was convenient for him to use.
You need to move on, you need to realize if you want to be friends with someone don't become their side pussy, for us guys OP that's only barely a level above prostitute.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Why do you not ask your family member this question? Why? Why did they want to ruin your friendship with him? Why were they so rude to him? What was their intent? Have they apologized?
Once you've dealt with your family member you can try to deal with your friend, but it sounds like he doesn't believe you. In that case, good riddance. You were friends for so long, yet he thinks you are a liar? How rude. Friendships that long should be solid, not filled with distrust. Apparently, he didn't think you were such a close friend, because he doesn't believe you, and cut you cold.
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