Like what
she writes?
... Add *untyEm to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
|
| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
|
Was I wrong for being careful with a guy from an online dating site?
Q. First, I went online to the dating site that I had been on and while I was off I had joined a few others just to make friends and pen pals. I sent a flirt to this person and he was a nice looking guy and a message also. He responded back to me and ...
A. 28 September 2013: I think you absolutely did the right thing. Your gut was telling you this guy wasn't who he said he was and there is nothing wrong with checking a few details before you meet.
He said he was bringing drink and a movie, this suggests he assumed ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with the breakdown of my parents marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, just hoping for a bit of advice. My mum has just started the menopause and now is saying that she wants my dad to move out. They have been together for over 30 years and while I admit they have had their ups and downs, I have never se...
A. 28 September 2013: It's such a sad time when a long married couple decide to split up and it can be very rough on the kids. I divorced after 19 years and I still have nightmares about how it affected my daughters...but there was no way that it wasn't going to happen ... (read in full...)
I think we're on a break. What do I do from here?
Q. My boyfriend and I have apparently went on a forced break by him, not me. We've been together for 3 years. He's 35 and I'm 31. We don't live together and would see each other once or twice a week and then spend the weekends together. We started ...
A. 28 September 2013: I would definitely let him know that you do want to see him. Just send him a message saying you love him and hope you see him soon and leave it at that.
He is the one who asked for space, so he is the only one who can call time on when that spa... (read in full...)
How can I be happier being a stay at home wife?
Q. How can I be happier being a stay at home wife? I feel stuck. I am a stay-at-home wife (not mom). About 50% of my time is spent at home working on a project I've been developing for several years and hoping it will come to fruition. The re...
A. 28 September 2013: I do yoga and Tai chi in my home, using YOUTUBE vids of which there are many and lots for beginners. I also think it is an excellent idea that you get your driver's licence (as some of the aunts have suggested) as it will give you a massive boost. I ... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 27 September 2013: I think it's fairly standard for most ex's to become strangers, with the exception of those you share children with.
It's just better all round if you are allowed to get on with your lives, freely and without reminders of the past, particul... (read in full...)
The guy I like went back to his ex because he misses the child. What should I do?
Q. Please can someone help me what to do I am so much in love with a guy who loves me to but he's gone back to his ex cos he misses his son which isn't his biologically but has been there since born little one is 3 now he texts me everyday telling me ...
A. 27 September 2013: Better to be lonely than be used and get your heart trodden on.... (read in full...)
The guy I like went back to his ex because he misses the child. What should I do?
Q. Please can someone help me what to do I am so much in love with a guy who loves me to but he's gone back to his ex cos he misses his son which isn't his biologically but has been there since born little one is 3 now he texts me everyday telling me ...
A. 27 September 2013: You need to speak to the other woman, whom he shares the child with. Show her the love texts and tell her you are having sex with him.
Then you will see how he really feels about you. I guarantee you will see another side to him. This sort of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is letting me go, while keeping her blood results secret. What should I do?
Q. So, I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 23, we live in different far countries, we've had plans of her coming over to stay with me on December, and getting married around next February, we've even managed her a job over here, and everything was working out ...
A. 27 September 2013: Maybe she has been told she has a terminal illness or something chronic that is going to impact the quality of her life and maybe she's trying to deal with that in her own head and also trying to remain in contact with you, but it's coming out in ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is letting me go, while keeping her blood results secret. What should I do?
Q. So, I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 23, we live in different far countries, we've had plans of her coming over to stay with me on December, and getting married around next February, we've even managed her a job over here, and everything was working out ...
A. 27 September 2013: Can I ask what countries you both originate from? and have you begun a sexual relationship yet?... (read in full...)
Dating dilemma - online friend
Q. Ok quick question ... The man I have strong feelings for has another woman that he has been chatting with for over a year and chats with online daily but claims it is just friendship. It came out by chance and he did try to keep it from me. I have ...
A. 26 September 2013: I agree, his daily contacts with her are showing this is more than a friendship.
You arn't in a relationship with him, you are just dating and it seems he is keeping his options open. Those kinds of people are best avoided if you think you are ... (read in full...)
My date stared at me intensely all night. I mentioned it to him and he said we were too different??
Q. I've been getting along well with this guy. We went on a date a few days ago and it all went well. However, throughout the date all he did was stare. Please, I'm really not big headed. But it was so intense that I became really awkward and shy....
A. 26 September 2013: Did you meet him on internet dating? If you did, it's a rough way to meet someone as you never really know what sort of person you are going to meet.
Most people put on a 'good, enthusiastic' front when chatting and e-mailing but when they mee... (read in full...)
My date stared at me intensely all night. I mentioned it to him and he said we were too different??
Q. I've been getting along well with this guy. We went on a date a few days ago and it all went well. However, throughout the date all he did was stare. Please, I'm really not big headed. But it was so intense that I became really awkward and shy....
A. 25 September 2013: Sound like a really 'touchy' guy who can't take a bit of banter. You were right to tell him his staring made you uncomfortable...then he's 'I'd like to see you again' and then he's 'We're too different'???
Sounds like a flake!!!
Move on, forg... (read in full...)
Why do I want to hold onto my ex when he cheated and I didn't?
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I are still communicating and I still love him but hes distancing himself from me. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and his reason for being aloof is his son is talking back to his mom. Yrs ago we were in a rela...
A. 25 September 2013: The reason you are clinging onto him is because he has broken your spirit and you can no longer function without his abuse...
You have been treated so badly for so long that you don't know any other way to be treated so you are still expectin... (read in full...)
Why do some people not have stretch marks?
Q. I have a question about stretch marks... How come some people don't have them? i've never seen the women in a porno have them, i know the pics are airbrushed but not the videos. Does anyone here not have them? I have them and it makes me feel li...
A. 25 September 2013: Ok why do some people have stretch marks?...
It's to do with the collagen bundles under the skin that stretch and divide leaving furrows under the skin.
Genetically some people have more resillient/ stretchy collagen and never seem to get stre... (read in full...)
I just discovered that his ex owes him a lot of money!
Q. Hello Aunties! I have been with my bf for 3 1/2 yrs, we have lived together for the last 2yrs. He treats me like a queen...however....his ex who lives in another country and has been engaged throughout our entire relationship is a problem. They do...
A. 24 September 2013: This is a strange one indeed and your boyfriend must be very wealthy because i don't know many people who would loan someone such a vast amount of money without any real chance of ever giving it back. Also him lending money for her and a new partner ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, then says I'll be amazing for someone else ?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now, we want to take things slow but he says things that make me feel like he doesn't want me. I'm left confused about the situation and I need some clarity. Last night he told me how much he Loved me....
A. 24 September 2013: IS he trying to tell me something ?
Do you think he changed his mind about being with me ?
These two statements indicate how confused he has made you. I bet you are going to be hanging on his every word now and trying even harder to please... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, then says I'll be amazing for someone else ?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a while now, we want to take things slow but he says things that make me feel like he doesn't want me. I'm left confused about the situation and I need some clarity. Last night he told me how much he Loved me....
A. 24 September 2013: He has control issues and he is testing you.
I would actually get away from him because this kind of behaviour will never stop. I have known of men and women who behave in this way their whole lives and it usually boils down to low self esteem a... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: I think you did the right thing. It's one thing to look but it's stepping over the line to start downloading.... (read in full...)
Do I text her or message her online? or is this weird, help!!
Q. Was wanting to ask sthing... Ive been messageing a woman online for a few wks, shes only after fship, which is ok, i really need new friends. We seem to get along ok online, we decided to meet for coffee, public place, have seen each oth...
A. 23 September 2013: Just text her. She probably thinks it's a bit odd meeting someone and not knowing their number.
Be nice, just apologise for having to change the date but set another and tell her you are looking foward to seeing her. People hate to be mucked a... (read in full...)
Wife improves behavior but I cannot love her again
Q. My wife was abusive to me and our kids for over 10 years. She did many horrendous things, including verbal abuse, lying, manipulation, and, in general, not expressing any love to me and our kids. We talked about these things over time, but she was ...
A. 23 September 2013: Yes I think it is as simple as something being broken beyond repair. Even now she has gotten therapy, it isn't a reason to assume things should go back together. You have been hurt by her and your trust in her destroyed, that is something your inner ... (read in full...)
Is it against the law to save photos from facebook?
Q. I have taken to saving pictures of girls in my class wearing bikinis from Facebook or Twitter. All I want to know is if it is first of all legal and secondly if its creepy to do so. I've never shown anyone this and nobody knows I do it. I am ...
A. 23 September 2013: I think you have to ask yourself if you would be happy about someone saving pictures of you or your sister or other family member without their consent. It isn't illegal but it is a matter of having respect for your friends.... (read in full...)
I feel like my wife settled with me and its really bothering me!
Q. Ok here is my story. I met my wife 14 years ago. She was 19 and i was 28. I met her through a friend. She had a daughter and i had 2 daughters from previous relstionships. The first time I met her I asked her what she thought of me and she said I ...
A. 23 September 2013: You married someone who was never really into you in the first place and now you are wondering why it's not all perfect and wonderful?
You have low self esteem because you have had bad experiences and your need to be with someone to counter ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to lose our relationship but she doesn't want to fully commit either
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years. She is 19 years younger than me. I am a young 65. During this time she has lived with me at my flat although she has her own cottage in a nearby town. Recently she has talked about, '...
A. 23 September 2013: I think most people in relationships these days wish to retain some independance. That can range from:
Owning and keeping their own home
Having a job and keeping finances seperate
Having separate friends
Taking separate vacation
Having spe... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to lose our relationship but she doesn't want to fully commit either
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years. She is 19 years younger than me. I am a young 65. During this time she has lived with me at my flat although she has her own cottage in a nearby town. Recently she has talked about, '...
A. 22 September 2013: If she is a person who is refusing or is unable to grow up, perhaps that explains why she is with you in the first place. Perhaps you are more of a Father figure to her and you filled some need she missed out on in childhood.
Now three years ha... (read in full...)
I ruined his birthday, but is it justified because his friendship with his ex was out of line.
Q. I'm talking to this guy and every now and then he goes and hangs out with his ex girlfriend. He knows that I don't like it at all because when hes with her I tell him not to speak to me. He tells me that hes sorry and hes trying to end things on a ...
A. 21 September 2013: Yes you were wrong for acting up because you are not in a relationship with this guy and that makes him a free agent to see and speak to whosoever he wishes.
It's not a crime to have friends or remain in touch with ex's if it's on a platonic... (read in full...)
How can a man say we will always be great friends, then he loves me in the same breath?
Q. Hello all! I am a 43 year old woman who, (after 2.5) years of being single, have met a 46 year old man who is a wonderful match for me. We laugh, and have a killer intimate relationship... We've been seeing each other for about 4.5 months now, ...
A. 21 September 2013: Where do you go when you want to be intimate?
Do you speak in the evenings and on the weekend?
Can you call him any time you like and he answers and has a normal conversation with you?
Has he introduced you to any of his family and friends? ... (read in full...)
Can I climb out of this rut? And get my life back into some semblence of Progress?
Q. This might generate some flack because this isn't technically a relationship question, but I'm so deep in despair that I don't know where to turn!! Please, pretty please, can you help me? I'm in despair! It's that I have had all these high hopes...
A. 15 September 2013: http://www.translatorsbase.com/projects.aspx?url_entry=TranslationJobs2&gclid=CNbH8ab5zLkCFeGWtAodW3gA_A
I googled translator jobs online for the USA and lots and lots came up. Have included one link that is for freelance work (paid by piece)
... (read in full...)
Due to religious differences, our friendship can go no further. Do I bring it up with her or let it remain unspoken?
Q. OK, I am wondering if you can help me. To make it short and simple, there is this young woman at my job who I have become friends with. I like her very much, as she is very smart, reflective, and has strong values, and we have a lot in common. ...
A. 15 September 2013: I think you are being naive to be honest!
You say you would date her but would not go beyond friendship?...yeah well theres a bad idea right off the bat.
If your religion is such a big deal for you, there is NO WAY you would have allowed the... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to give up everything to be close to my son?
Q. My ex has decided to leave the state we are in for a distant one taking our son with her. Our son is 11 years old. She has decided to leave b/c her mother is ill, and she would like to be by her side. She has all of her family away, and has just ...
A. 14 September 2013: I think you are making the right decision, it's something you will regret if you don't do it.
I know it sounds crazy but have you thought of asking your girlfriend to go with you?...It may be nice to give her the option instead of cutting her out ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my ex after several years of silence?
Q. I am not sure about something and wanted to get some opinions before I act. I have been separated/divorced from my ex for about three and a half years now. It was a bitter divorce, and up till now we have avoided contact except for emails and ...
A. 13 September 2013: Depends on who caused the main problem with the marriage in the first place!
Maybe she's still in pain over the end of the marriage and just wants to move on with her life and forget it happened.
You cannot force the other person to engage... (read in full...)
Why is my son doing this, and is there any way I can help?
Q. My son is 21 years old and gay (although this situation could apply to a straight person as well). He left home in the spring to move up to a resort about 2 hrs north of the city we live in. He decided mid-summer that he was going to take a year off ...
A. 13 September 2013: I agree with Denise. I think your son is headstrong, chaotic in his choices and immature in his approach to relationships (but this isn't unusual for a lot of young people)
There is probably very little you can say to him, because any advice i... (read in full...)
Is he just looking for hookups?
Q. I have a question so I met a guy in a dating site three weeks ago we chatted through text for two days and have gone on three dates.. 1st date we went out to eat I picked the place and he paid then we went out for a few drinks near his house s...
A. 12 September 2013: I think he has his sights set on getting you to put out for him and it doesn't matter if he gets it on the first date or the tenth date, his MO is to primarily go for the sexual experience without really getting to know you or respect you.
I thi... (read in full...)
Men, what is my ex-FWB thinking after I said goodbye two weeks ago?
Q. I ended 2year "fwb" ... had to walk away! I honestly believed that we met for such great reason, so choosing to end all, for someone I truly liked and cared for hurt. I hadn't heard from him like "normal" and when I sent a casual, "hello' ...
A. 11 September 2013: This is a first class example of why FWB are a waste of time and why WOMEN in particular think they can handle the situation when they absolutely CANNOT!!
You have been having sex with this man for a couple of years and you thought that was an e... (read in full...)
I thought I was bi, but could I be a lesbian?
Q. Ever since a young age I have always believed that I was bisexual but after having my first few sexual encounters with men, the tables were completely turned. I felt absolutely nothing, I wasn't turned on in the slighted way. I was even imagining in ...
A. 10 September 2013: As time goes on you may change your mind back and fourth about your sexuality...eventually you will start to notice that you don't change your mind (and that can take years)...then you will know!
I agree, no label needed!...just be yourself... (read in full...)
OCD with temper issues...is this a relationship worth saving?
Q. im in a new relationship with someone who has a past of abuse from an ex, she also has ocd quite bad with a short temper but refuses to get help as she says shes okay. shes now asked me to come off a social network site that i only use to contact ...
A. 9 September 2013: Is she being treated for OCD?... (read in full...)
Body dysmorphic disorder
Q. So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...
A. 9 September 2013: So body dysmorphic in reverse?? Is that what you are saying?
Explain why this is a negative?... (read in full...)
On again off again girlfriend read texts in my phone to another girl and now she's not speaking to me! I want her back!
Q. Hi I don't normally do this , but I'm in bits ... I'm 36 I'm seeing my GF on and off for about 6 years, we've broken up and made up numerous times, the latest event we got back together in June after a split of 8 months, everything was going well ...
A. 9 September 2013: Sorry to be blunt but people who really love their partners DO NOT send erotic texts to other people!!
I think you have love confused with habit and you are quite literally pulling the wool over your own eyes!!
You won't see this of course b... (read in full...)
Why do I still feel angry at my boyfriend for events that occurred in the past?
Q. Hi everyone. I would like to know if it is normal to still be angry with my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 years, we don't live together but spend time at each other's homes. We have had a lot of problems, at one time it was him drinking to ...
A. 9 September 2013: It's because he broke the trust and let you and himself down with his actions. It takes time to forgive someone and living with the stress of 'what if it happens again' can be very tiring.
That said, you have taken him back and he deserves... (read in full...)
A one-night stand resulted in a pregnancy and the entire situation has just wrecked my relationship! What do I do now?
Q. Dear cupid me and my ex have been through some hard times in the past few years and it was my fault for not putting enough into the relationship. We split in march and in june I had a one night stand as I thought I could not get her back due to my ...
A. 9 September 2013: You can't actually DO anything right now, the ball is in her court and she needs time to mull over what has happened.
You arn't the first and you most definitely won't be the last person this happens to, both men and women have, through careless... (read in full...)
My ex and I have become FWB, he says he wants more but I'm not sure??
Q. I know this will sound incredibly stupid, and reckless but I have been having a purely sexual relationship with my ex and the father of my two children. I know people say it all the time, but it really did just happen. We had taken our childr...
A. 9 September 2013: Stop having sex with him, then see if he still wants you back.... (read in full...)
My ex and I have become FWB, he says he wants more but I'm not sure??
Q. I know this will sound incredibly stupid, and reckless but I have been having a purely sexual relationship with my ex and the father of my two children. I know people say it all the time, but it really did just happen. We had taken our childr...
A. 8 September 2013: Has he actually asked you for another chance to be together?
... (read in full...)
| *untyEm's friends
These are mutual friends, so *untyEm has
added them and they have added *untyEm!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
