A
female
age
30-35,
*weetthing
writes:Hes 47, im 23. Yes big age gap but we clicked in the first instance, i fell for him and him for me i believe. But we had a big falling out when i said i did not fancy him. I ws trying to protect him from office rumours, we fell out and he made my life hell. 6=8 months later this is us. Some days we are close, some days he tries but then hes mindful like me, of the people in the office. * Defended me when this women was giving me grief. Hes the type to keep shut when theirs office politics. * Teases me about my stilettos- saying should be used as weapons etc. * Follows me down stairs and randomly sits down and tries to talk to me. When i touch his feet with my feet he stays for a minute or two then gets up- and teases me. * A women PURPOSELY pulls the back of her top all the way up and starts itchying her back infront of him. I look at him at the side to see if he will stare. It was obvious i was looking, and he just kept eye contact with her. * He asks if i wear those shoes for Mr X "i've known him for a logn time" his faces changes seriously and a bit of a dirty look. I say no and how he bores me, he calms down and relaxes. * a snotty women says oo hes too old for you, i say i like my older men. *He follows me when i leave, and when he see's me again he is grinning. I ask why he didn;t recognise my voice before when i called, he said would you recognise mine. I said yes, he blushes and says no you wouldn't. Is this us making amends?
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female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (24 March 2014):
I'm sorry to say this but this guy is vindictive and plain nasty. Causing problems at work e.g telling management you make him uncomfortable is appropriate how? And if he liked you why would he do that? He also sounds immature. I'd suggest you love and leave him. He's not worth your time or love.
Also you'll no longer have the gossip mongers at work to deal with so all good there. But my fear is he'll make your work life hell...again. This guy does not sound good. End things with him and warn him that any trouble from him and he'll regret it. Not all work romances are like this. I know of a few people who met each other at work and ended up getting married. Sadly this office romance will not have a happy ending.
A
female
reader, sweetthing +, writes (22 March 2014):
sweetthing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all.thank you for your response. Just to add some more info.
I repeat. I did and do fancy him, told him I didnt as I wanted the rumours to stop I wanted to protect him as the women spreading those rumours are the old bitter women in our team who he dislikes ad doesn't give the time of day to.
He always protected me even before we got close, and feelings grew. Alot of power mad women in our team who use to try to bully me at the start. Behind my bk and infront of me he would protect me.
After I said didnt like him, he was hurt and tried to be nice but wheb he found out I had a date.he lied about manager asking me to go with him to a visit and he told manager I wasnt progressing the case. He wouldnt let me go, I had to fight to get off the case with him because he was makin me have no confidence.
He had told a manager that I made him feel uncomfortable when I had asked for a hug before. Yet hes the one who hug and kisses me when we are out!
its not jusr sex. Its deeper I really care for him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (22 March 2014):
 Goodness girl, get a grip.
He MADE your life HELL. And now because he is a little flirty you hope he CARES for you? Seriously? Do you have some penchant for semi-abusive men?
He is WELL AWARE that you are an easy target. Easy prey. You are young and easy to impress. And he knows you like him, which again makes you an easy target.
DO NOT date where you work. It can create a HOSTILE environment, not only for you and the guy you date/see but for everyone else who gets dragged into that drama.
And guess what, YOU will be the one with the "tainted" reputation at work. The one people will not take serious in a work related situation.
You need to be more professional and less worried about whether this older guy "likes you, likes you". DATE someone you don't work with.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 March 2014):
 'i fell for him and him for me i believe. But we had a big falling out when i said i did not fancy him'
How can you fall for someone but not fancy them???
I think it's a game you are both playing. It's a distraction in the workplace and neither one of you is serious about a relationship:
You are just enjoying the attention from an older man and are probably doing the classic female move of flirting with him and then pushing him away.
He's getting an ego boost but he knows you rejected him once so he's going to suck up the flirting but NOT get close to you again.
When this 'atmosphere' descends, you will find things get a lot more obtuse and frustrating.Neither of you is behaving like a sensible human being and if he sees a chance to shag you, he will take it and then dump you.
You are young, you don't realise what impact this could potentially have on your reputation and your job. He won't get a name, but you will.
Games, Games, Games...and all this for an old man who you don't even fancy!!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2014):
Yes,I'm afraid the post below is right. This is just him trying to get back into your pants. None of those points makes up for the fact that he made your life 'hell' when he didn't get what he wanted, especially when you were actually trying to protect him.
A man who fancies you and cares for you won't make your life hell. A man interested in having his way with you will happily turn his back the moment he doesn't get what he wanted.
The real problem here is that you like him, and he knows it. So it comes across as a bit of a power trip for him to play games, and that's what he's doing. If only he hadn't made your life hell, then perhaps my advice wouldn't have been different. But, as it is, this man just seems to want to play games with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2014): "Is this us making amends?"
No, it's him trying to get [back] into your pants.
And why would you want to make amends with a guy who made your life hell (your words) when you brushed him off?
The usual May-December scenario is the guy is trying to maintain the illusion of youth, attractiveness and virility while the sweetthing is either looking for an older man to give her the affection she never received from her absent/distant/abusive father or support her financially or both.
Add that this is an office flirtation, and you have a situation can only end badly whether you are co-workers or he's in a position of authority.
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