Engagement called off due to past relationship how do I fix things?
Q. I was engaged to a wonderful guy.He is a virgin and have very high Morales and values.However, i lied to him about my past relationship and virginity. Engagement called off due to videos and pictures of sexual activity and intimate ones,ta...
A. 13 October 2018: Convince them of WHAT???
You have just paid a horrible price for both your lies, and your lack of intelligence by allowing your sexuality to get anywhere near a camera. When it comes to taking pictures, you never take anything that you wouldn't... (read in full...)
What should I do to guard my heart and not be a fool?
Q. Hello, everyone. I’m a 21 year old homosexual male. About three weeks ago, my toxic, 2 year relationship ended with my ex. Throughout the entire duration of our relationship, he emotionally cheated, meaning that he would inbox other guys on social ...
A. 13 October 2018: This isn't about guarding your heart.
I lost count at 6 times this guy cheated on you!
You have a serious self-esteem issue, and until you actually address that, you will roll over, play dead, be a doormat, make threats and not follow through, ... (read in full...)
I know he's had sex with others before being in a relationship with me but it bothers me that he lied about his "first" sexual experiments
Q. I have been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months. we are very open about our past relationships and both of us accepted everything about it and continued. so trust and respect was the major factor in our relation. we have a very ...
A. 11 October 2018: Here's the issue:
Everything he's doing with you *IS* the FIRST time. With every woman it is a different experience. He may have done the act before, but never with you, and never the same way. Each dance is different. The steps are similar,... (read in full...)
I hit him while drunk for making a pathetic comment and now I deeply regret it
Q. DearCupid, I'm 31 years old. I met my boyfriend 28, about 2 yeare ago, weve been together for an official year and it has been the most amazing relationship I have ever had in my life with the most amazing man. But when I met him I was unhappily ...
A. 10 October 2018: You said this:
"I just to be in a relationship where the person I love is willing to fight for us."
I think you want to rethink the "fighting" part. That smacks of DRAMA, and you are full of it. Drunkenness, dark places, unfinished marri... (read in full...)
My partner wont make amends with my mother.
Q. Hi there, My partner and I had an argument the other evening and it blew off on a tangent to him calling my mother poisonous, and he told me to tell my mother to "be less poisonous around him" I did as he asked, but tried to break it gen...
A. 10 October 2018: Your boyfriend is a F*CKING COWARD.
Really?!? He has **YOU** tell your mom that she's poisonous? He throws YOU under the bus?? You let him WEAPONIZE you against your own family??
You shouldn't be a go-between for your boyfriend and yo... (read in full...)
What will help me feel at ease about entering a bdsm relationship?
Q. I am 25 and about to enter into my first bdsm relationship with a guy I met online. We’ve been talking for a while now and discussed everything we both want but I am a past rape victim and getting spanked scared me! He knows this but nothing he has ...
A. 10 October 2018: BRING IT UP with your therapist!
BDSM relies on ABSOLUTE TRUST. And there is SO MUCH abused trust when it comes to BDSM with people you don't know. Your first steps should be with someone you know very well and trust that the brakes will be ... (read in full...)
We still have feelings for each other but he doesn't want to date
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months and we broke up 2 months ago. I miss him so much. HE still has feelings for me and I still have feelings for him but he doesn't want to date anyone right now. I have no idea what to do. Any thoughts?...
A. 10 October 2018: He is too immature for any kind of relationship. If you both are a similar age, then he's like a kid who is sitting at a table filled with a lot of different kinds of candy. He doesn't want to commit because he wants to try as much candy as he can ... (read in full...)
My partner is googling how to flirt sites.
Q. Hi all Just seeking opinions as to whether there is a need for concern or just over reacting. Bit of back ground info. Been in a relationship for 10 years. In the earlier part there were bouts of cheating on his part. We worked through it but I ma...
A. 10 October 2018: I read your post and follow-up.
Yep, I think 10 years is long enough to waste.
The guy is looking for an exit, and there is zero upside being in a relationship where there can't be trust.
It was doomed from the moment you said you coul... (read in full...)
Husband hasn't kissed me for years and I now want to kiss other men!
Q. I have been with my husband 10 years, married for 3. We are still very happy in our relationship and everything apart from this one issue is normal. We still have sex as of normal too, in fact the past month or so it's been every day so I can't ...
A. 26 September 2018: Kissing is just like any other intimate/sexual activity.
If you replaced "kissing" with something like "anal" or "swallowing", or some other activity that YOU aren't comfortable doing, how would you feel if your husband told you that he would ge... (read in full...)
Is he fobbing me off, I thought we had a good thing going.
Q. I started seeing a guy a month ago. He’s 12 months separated from his wife with two young children. Our relationship seemed really promising but then he went a bit cold. He says his ex wife is being really challenging. She calls him up out of the ...
A. 20 September 2018: Not to put it delicately, but you picked the wrong guy.
HE IS STILL MARRIED! His baggage is overwhelming, and being separated still means that he is married. Being separated is a state in the marriage designed to work things out while giving s... (read in full...)
My wife wants to use a sperm donor to ensure that our third child isn't autistic but I’m not sure how I feel about this.
Q. My wife (34f) and I (36m) have been married for just over six years and in many ways have an ideal marriage and are very much still in love. Despite two kids, we still have sex 2 - 3 times per week. We still find time for getaways nearby beaches, ...
A. 20 September 2018: I agree with the others. There is something I'd like to bring up that your wife may not have thought about:
I see your age on here as 36-40 years old. Is your wife in the same age range?? If she is, then even with a sperm donor, she stands t... (read in full...)
My crush is distracting me at work! How do I keep my focus?
Q. Hi people, really like a girl at work and it's driving me crazy, need to take my mind off her but every time I get her off my mind she appears and I have her on my mind again. I can't lose this job but I am starting to lose the plot! Any advice w...
A. 19 September 2018: You're getting fantastic advice. Let me give you some more.
Think about your livelihood.
You worked your ass off to get where you are. You went through YEARS of education. You paid a lot of money for that education. You toiled to be set... (read in full...)
I want a second child and my husband does not! It’s really becoming a problem for me! Advice?
Q. My husband and I are at a complete impasse. We have a 3yr old son who is amazing and I feel truly blessed to be his mommy, but I yearn for a 2nd baby! I have felt this way for over a year. And anytime I speak to my husband about it he is very ce...
A. 17 September 2018: Unfortunately, you have become a self-fulfilling prophecy who is absolutely affirming your husband's desire NOT to have a second child.
I'll explain - your first child is still a toddler, and he's still in the diaper/potty training phase. Also, y... (read in full...)
We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?
Q. Did he liked me? We met off Tinder? I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy...
A. 15 September 2018: I agree with the first poster R. Tinder is a "hookup" ad. Gone are the days of passive girls expecting guys to "Drive" the relationship. He's still communicating with you, so ask him out and set it up! You might know enough about him to know ... (read in full...)
My progressive hair loss is making me insecure about dating
Q. Hi all, I'm having a real tough time with my confidence on dates. This has been due to my now significant hair loss. I'm in my late 20's and recently went out with a girl who i'd not seen for almost a year (i'd had to move away for work, but we kept ...
A. 15 September 2018: Seriously, I ADORE men who are bald/less hair. Heh, I married a guy with enough hair for three people, but seeing a guy with a bald head (or a slight "horseshoe" of hair) with present and well-groomed facial hair like a mustache and a beard or a ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship based on sex?
Q. I am in a weird relationship with a 48 year old man. I lost my virginity to him but lied I was on my period. I had sex because I was ready to and do not feel an ounce of guilt. All I wanted from him was to have sex, get over with the pain and move ...
A. 8 September 2018: Everything boils down to your age difference. He's got a nubile, tight, young woman in his early 20's, and you have a nearly 50 year old guy who is financially stable. Your relationship is a mutual practice on using each other to get what you ... (read in full...)
How can I maintain a friendship with my co-worker while keeping things professional?
Q. Hi everyone, There’s this female coworker of mine that I’ve been talking to for a little while now, probably since June---brilliant lady, has degree in physics. She's about 10 yrs older than me. I have known her about 14 years but never interacted ...
A. 4 September 2018: Yeah, she's married. If she's feeling attracted to you, she might be doing the right thing by maintaining her distance from you. I'd stay passive for now. Let her take the lead on any friendship you two have. Stopping by to see her is fine, as ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend cheat on me?
Q. I’m 43yrs of age I been with my girlfriend for 14yrs an she is 32yrs of age. for the last few months we been having alot of great sex like everyday then one day for 3hrs she went to work and next day we had sex an her vagina was alittle opening ...
A. 4 September 2018: She didn't cheat on you. Vaginas change due to hormones, and like the male anon says, your penis changes consistency for the same reasons. Did that mean you cheated? Or are getting too hooked on porn? You could be stressed, which could have ... (read in full...)
My husband cheated while we were separated
Q. Hi, I have been married for 14 years now and have a 11 year old son. I walked out of his home 7 years back when I couldnt get along with his parents and he wasnt ready to live separately with ME. He would come and see me and my son on weekends. But ...
A. 4 September 2018: Actually, YOU are the cheater in this marriage.
You committed Infidelity by Withholding, which is just as much of an act of faithlessness. The ridiculous thing is - you did it for a really stupid reason.
You alienated both your affection, ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to ask of my b/f not to watch violent movies when he knows that it triggers me because of my past?
Q. A year ago i went though a trauma. My ex beat me black and blue and strangled me repeatedly in a spontaneous rage. It took a few months for him to begin serving prison time, and so my feelings of safety were further compromised during that period ...
A. 3 September 2018: Here's the problem:
You are making your ex a part of your CURRENT relationship. You're telling your current boyfriend that your EX is more important, and that because you made the choice in dating an abusive man, it's your current boyfrien... (read in full...)
How do I tell my fiance I'm not a virgin. I don't want her to know who I had sex with
Q. My cousin and I, when we were in are early teens, made an extremely stupid choice and had sex with each other. We are the same age and at the time, we both enjoyed it. We lost our virginity to each other. Now as an adult, I realize how stupid it ...
A. 26 August 2018: Uhh, it should have been LONG BEFORE you were ENGAGED to someone that you should have disclosed that you weren't a virgin. If your fiance thinks that you're a virgin when you're not, that's ALL SORTS OF WRONG. You should always be honest with a ... (read in full...)
How do I kindly but clearly help her understand I am looking for friendship only?
Q. Hi, With compassion and honesty, I would like to thoughtfully help someone clearly understand I am looking for friendship only. I am a 28 year old male and share the office floor with another team that includes a 22 year old girl. She acts tou...
A. 24 August 2018: I agree. Why do you keep leading her on??? Having lots of lunches together, going out after hours for dinners and long walk-and-talks?? You can't indulge the ego boost her attention gives you, and then shut her down when she logically wants to ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to see both my girlfriends or just one?
Q. I have 2 girlfriends, A and D. I have been in an open relationship with A for 4 months and D for a little more than 2 months. Both know about each other and I am in love with both of them. D is older and married to a man and the marriage is open. ...
A. 21 August 2018: Sorry, but did someone hit you on the head with a hammer as a kid?!?
You're having issues with a partner's open relationship, yet you yourself have and want an open relationship. You CAN'T be serious! If you want to roam in the "open relation... (read in full...)
What should I do about this married, flirting floozy?
Q. I have a friend and shes always says she love me. Shes married to She once said I love you more then you know what is she trying to say to me. She flurts with me to. I dont know what to do....
A. 19 August 2018: I'm with Aunty BimBim. Tell your wife that this married woman is harassing you, and that you're not interested.
If she doesn't take the hint from your wife, then it's time to stop being a nice guy. If she tries it again with you, tell her that... (read in full...)
I think this 15 yo boy will probably want sex!
Q. i am a 13 year old . this guy is very cute and i like him a lot . and he asked me if i wanted to have sex with him and i told him “ rpprobably not maybe i’ll succ you tho “ and yeah he is 15 and is not a virgin and i’m 13 and i am . ughhh idk what ...
A. 19 August 2018: YOU DO NOT owe him ANYTHING! And I don't care if he's a virgin or not...BOTH of you are far too young to engage in sexual activities! Even oral sex. And it's possible that he's lying about his virginity in the first place, but in case he's ... (read in full...)
Why didn’t we hook up?
Q. I met a really cute guy online a month ago. He lives far away but has family here so he comes up about twice a month. He asked for my number and we were texting back and fourth while he was here. He said that he wasn't looking for anything serious ...
A. 17 August 2018: My first guess is that he reconciled with his ex-girlfriend, and so he took himself out of the casual market. If he had just broken up with his girlfriend, obviously his looking for fun and not wanting a relationship showed that he wasn't yet over ... (read in full...)
I don’t like intercourse but like oral!
Q. Intercourse VS oral..... Which is better? I don't like having sex but I love giving and receiving oral sex. Is this a problem? ...
A. 2 August 2018: Given that close to 80% of women do not experience orgasm on a regular basis during intercourse, I'm not surprised. If your partner is a man who doesn't get through his head that intercourse doesn't feel the same for a woman that it does for a man, ... (read in full...)
Is oral sex just this amazing?
Q. I have been with my fiancee for 9 years I'm 31 she's 29. Last night she allowed me to go down on her for the first time. It was the first oral experience for both of us, by that I mean her receiving and me giving. My question is, is it normal for me ...
A. 10 July 2018: YES, it's normal!! Oral play, giving AND receiving, is an incredible turn-on and sexual stimulator! I can give oral and be 3/4 to an orgasm myself just feeling him respond under my tongue!
If you love GIVING oral, you are definitely a keeper! ... (read in full...)
What would you do in my situation? Travel first or settle down now, travel in retirement?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for a year. I'm pretty happy with this guy. We've had ups and downs, but overall things are good between us. We love each other. We have a holiday booked together and are planning to move in together. Howeve...
A. 10 July 2018: You've been with your boyfriend for a year?
The issue here is -- you shouldn't factor HIM into your plans for travel or your future. Right now, you and your boyfriend have a title that says "Right NOW, we're happy".
He hasn't proposed ... (read in full...)
I'm married he's married why can't I just walk away?
Q. I am married and have been with a married man for 4 and a half years. He has continually asked me to marry him, sent me houses online and tells me that we are ‘one’ and meant to be . I have asked him to leave and be with me and he says he is not ...
A. 10 July 2018: A cheater's words are absolutely worthless. How can he ASK you to marry him if both of you are married? Because he's saying whatever worthless crap he can say to keep you in his bed.
When you press the subject and want to make plans to leave yo... (read in full...)
I ask women I sleep with about their opinion on abortion because I don't want kids. How do I know the girl I'm seeing is on the same page?
Q. So I met a wonderful girl online and we hit it off really well. We kissed on the first date, had lunch on the second, and ended up sleeping with each other on the third when she invited me over to her apartment for pizza and a movie. We used ...
A. 24 June 2018: I fully agree with Andie here. But I think this goes much deeper than abortion for you.
Find a woman who doesn't want kids. That's not rocket science, and ABORTION isn't birth control. The issue should be settled far before abortion is even ... (read in full...)
He blocked me on Instagram then lied about why!
Q. He blocked me on Instagram and lied to me about it saying his app had a problem. Yes I believed it. I have another account on Instagram for makeup and fashion posts. He commented on another girl’s picture saying “Dayyyuuumm”. He has all his exes and ...
A. 22 June 2018: Pfft. "Dear" and "Dead" are almost the same thing anyways in this case. You above all people are an example of this!... (read in full...)
Newly back on the dating scene, can I booty call a guy or is that creepy?
Q. Hi Cupid, I have a weird question. So, I am newly back on the dating scene after almost 13 years. I am 31. So, I’ve been going on some dates, and a few weeks ago I had two with a lovely guy. We had a great time, connected well and had great che...
A. 22 June 2018: I'm going to go in a different direction with my advice than I would normally do. I'm going to say GO FOR IT.
The ONLY reason I say so is because this has a hardline expiration date, aka his leaving in August.
You sound like you went through... (read in full...)
Was I wrong not to thank the ex who agreed we would go “no contact” for the flowers?
Q. So, my ex fiancé sent me flowers Monday, about a year ago he left me for his ex that he was stuck on. I knew something was wrong but he never admitted it. When she rejected him when he went back home he tired to get back with me. I flat out ignor...
A. 22 June 2018: Nope, you're not wrong. No contact means no contact! If he sends you flowers, the ONLY best response is static.
If you feel yourself wavering, remember that he left you for an ex. I guarantee that if he's trying to contact YOU, there's a new gi... (read in full...)
He blocked me on Instagram then lied about why!
Q. He blocked me on Instagram and lied to me about it saying his app had a problem. Yes I believed it. I have another account on Instagram for makeup and fashion posts. He commented on another girl’s picture saying “Dayyyuuumm”. He has all his exes and ...
A. 22 June 2018: He threatened to break up with YOU?
Your response to that should be "Yes PLEASE!"
Then follow it up with blocking HIM. He has a huge ego problem and objectifies women as conquests. He keeps them there as testimonies of his virility. You d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't say "I love you." What are your thoughts?
Q. Hello all. So my inquiry isn't as serious as most, but I'm curious as to what your thoughts are, aunts and uncles. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. He is a very good man and while we have dealt with some small issues, ...
A. 21 June 2018: My thoughts are that you need to communicate to him that you HEARING the words "I love you" is just as important to you as having sex is to him.
Would he think you loved him if you refused to have sex with him? If you said that you don't think th... (read in full...)
Why can't I orgasm normally?
Q. I know it is embarassing but I just lost my virginity at this old age. Problem is I can't achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse. I don't have erectile disfunction and I ejaculate easily when masturbating using my hand. Could my problem be du...
A. 21 June 2018: Yes. It's because of masturbation. You've become grip-sensitive, and most likely your sexual-stimulus response has become hard-wired to need porn.
Go to yourbrainonporn.com and you'll find ways to reboot your sexual response system both physical... (read in full...)
I hate my boyfriend’s best friend and don’t want him at my wedding!
Q. I got engaged to my boyfriend and we are currently planning the wedding, making guest lists etc. My partner wishes to invite his best friend to the wedding. The thing is i can’t stand being in the same room as my fiancées best friend as he severely ...
A. 21 June 2018: THere are things missing from your post, so I have some questions:
1. Did your fiance ever talk to or confront this guy?
2. Did this guy who bullied you have a crush on you? Did he start bullying you BEFORE or AFTER you got with your curren... (read in full...)
How can I stop obsessing over a taken man?
Q. Has anyone dealt with obsessive love and limerence? I have an issue with being obsessed with my crushes and making up scenarios and fairy tale endings in my head to the point where all I think about is the object of my obsession . To be frank I am ...
A. 19 June 2018: Limerence by its very design eventually burns itself out. If the object of your limerence becomes your lover, it deepens into a more permanent and lasting bond. However, if it isn't indulged, it burns itself out, especially if you meet someone ... (read in full...)
She has a guy friend stay over!
Q. I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...
A. 17 June 2018: Your follow-up illuminates quite a lot!
She is treating your attention as if you were a no-strings-attached FWB, not an actual, enfleshed relationship.
If she ACTUALLY said that she doesn't care if "things happen" between you and a hypothetic... (read in full...)
I feel I’m being played with! Do I cut off all contact?
Q. My ex and I saw eachother for the first time after 6 months of not speaking at a house party around 2 weeks ago. I was extremely drunk He was telling me how much he missed me and didn’t leave my side the whole night. We even went home together...
A. 11 June 2018: This guy has a LOT of red flags that make ME nervous:
1. He pushed for sex when you were really drunk.
2. He "Made* you give him your number. He pressured you and wouldn't take no for an answer.
3. Making you "say please" in order to CALL... (read in full...)
She has a guy friend stay over!
Q. I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...
A. 11 June 2018: I agree with you. It's a matter of boundaries and propriety. It is inappropriate for a woman who has a boyfriend to invite another guy to sleep over without it being absolutely okay with her boyfriend.
This guy isn't her brother or stepbrot... (read in full...)
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