She thanked me, said she had a good time but also said she is not looking for anything serious
Q. I matched and got talking to a girl on a online dating app.. Few messages later went out for dinner. Holy smokes she is stunning. I don’t have a clue how it went. She kept thanking me and saying she had a good time. But also said she is not looking ...
A. 2 June 2019: I'm not saying that you *ARE* a beta, OP. I said that emphasizing your "gentleman" strategy can have you "come across" as beta. If I actually THOUGHT you were beta, then I'd say so! As such, you should be YOU, not worrying about how you dress, or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is illegally in my country, wants to marry me so he can stay on and is planning our wedding which is going to happen in a week!
Q. Hi everyone, I have a situation. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he does everything for me and my kids. We first met online, he had come from a far country to visit me and he decided not to go back to his country. So now he has ...
A. 2 June 2019: YIKES! There was just a huge alert in Canada to beware of marriage scams, and you already were hit by one! This guy is pressuring you, and he "does things for you" not because he loves you, but because you have something he doesn't. Once you tie ... (read in full...)
My fiance's boss seems to be crossing normal professional limits. How can she draw the line without antagonizing him?
Q. Hello. I have a situation. My fiance (gf of 7 years, 2 years LDR) got a new job in a multinational company a month ago which was a dream come true for her. Her job profile, work culture, everything is perfect. Here's where the problem arises. Firs...
A. 2 June 2019: Yeah. You might have a problem. She might be getting ready to replace you. It's really telling that she hasn't TOLD her boss that she even HAS a boyfriend, meaning it's more than just being worried about losing her job, but she's keeping the ... (read in full...)
We had amazing dates, but now he’s left me confused!
Q. Hi everyone I am a single mum to two small children aged 1 and 5. About 4 weeks ago a met a single dad with 3 children online. We spoke daily and instantly hit it off so set a date for about 5 days later. He called me the day before as wanted...
A. 2 June 2019: Do NOT say "I miss you!" Text him back warmly, affectionately, and let him FEEL the peaceful sunshine coming from your posts. If he calls you, be happy to hear from him as if his calling you made your day, but DON'T act all "I MISS YOU" desperate ... (read in full...)
She thanked me, said she had a good time but also said she is not looking for anything serious
Q. I matched and got talking to a girl on a online dating app.. Few messages later went out for dinner. Holy smokes she is stunning. I don’t have a clue how it went. She kept thanking me and saying she had a good time. But also said she is not looking ...
A. 31 May 2019: I think you're jumping the gun!! She said she wasn't looking for anything serious. Are YOU? If I were you, I'd have responded something like "Damn, guess I'll have to take the engagement ring back to the store now!" as a joke.
Dates ARE NOT ... (read in full...)
We had amazing dates, but now he’s left me confused!
Q. Hi everyone I am a single mum to two small children aged 1 and 5. About 4 weeks ago a met a single dad with 3 children online. We spoke daily and instantly hit it off so set a date for about 5 days later. He called me the day before as wanted...
A. 31 May 2019: I agree with Honeypie that you both rushed into everything way too fast and heavy, but I wanted to add a couple of other things as well:
You both went hot and heavy into the relationship, having weekend sex sessions and such, and he "came up for a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend overreacts at the smallest of things and is getting too much to bear
Q. Hello and thank you So I must say I'm annoyed with my boyfriends attitude little things set him off. He over reacts to minor things and its definitely getting to be too much . As an example for the last month he says he has been outsid...
A. 29 May 2019: I have a word for that -- SUSPICIOUS. Many guys will overreact with rage when they want to scare a woman off their scent, so to speak. If he's spending 2 hours per night away from home with a friend he won't name, OF COURSE you have the right to ... (read in full...)
I think I really insulted my bf....how should I fix this?
Q. A few days ago my bf came home from work and he came into our bedroom where I was reading/studying and to get my attention he took his penis out and wanted me to play with it....I told him to go away bc I was busy. When he came back to bed a few ...
A. 29 May 2019: YIKES! I checked your age, and I'm guessing he's a similar age as you? As in 41-50 years old?? If this is the case, then HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER! For a guy to initiate sex like THAT, and also to not practice the most basic of hygiene is just ... (read in full...)
A troubling situation is arising my dad is becoming a creep
Q. Firstly,my dad has never abused or molested me growing up and he was actually very protective of me and my sister. Now even as an adult my father will do anything for me and he has expressed that I'm his favorite child. I never felt weird around my ...
A. 29 May 2019: What has my attention on this one is the fact that this is new behavior, that he wasn't like that growing up with your or your siblings, and you never mentioned whether or not he was a porn addict growing up (i.e. Playboy stash or pictures on the ... (read in full...)
What is the average age for first time sex for a girl?
Q. how old is the average age when a girl has sex for the first time?? ...
A. 29 May 2019: I concur -- the average is about 17-18 years old, but the true issue is -- first time sex for a girl should boil down to one question:
Are you emotionally, physically, and financially able and ready to give birth to and raise a baby girl or boy??... (read in full...)
Should I be suspicious that my LDR girlfriend hasn't told anyone about us?
Q. I've officially been with my LDR girlfriend for six months now, I'm in the UK and she's in the US. I've been open about our relationship from the beginning but my girlfriend on the other hand hasn't told anyone, other than one of her friends. At ...
A. 16 May 2019: I think in this case, you're putting the cart before the horse. She's made mention of a future and marriage, and it's obvious your feelings for each other are real, and she in fact DID inform one of her friends about your relationship together, so ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his mind games?
Q. Hi guys, I've recently ended my 7 year marriage due to my husband being emotionally abusive towards me (constantly asking me where I've been, who I've been with, telling me how I should feel, gaslighting me, not letting me go to sleep until I've...
A. 15 May 2019: I'm with the others. It's time you stop the family activities, because they are a lie. Your ex is using them and trying to have seemingly normal conversation and hugging you because he doesn't accept that you are no longer together, and to be ... (read in full...)
Why can’t he say that promise when I’m having an anxiety attack?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. We we've been together since school. We live each other very much but last year my anxiety got worse which nearly resulted in us breaking up. When this happened I went through a period of ...
A. 15 May 2019: You CANNOT make him responsible for managing your anxiety. That places strain on a relationship that ultimately is GOING to break it up if you don't stop putting him in that role. YOU must be your OWN support system, and if you are dealing with ... (read in full...)
Why can’t he say that promise when I’m having an anxiety attack?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. We we've been together since school. We live each other very much but last year my anxiety got worse which nearly resulted in us breaking up. When this happened I went through a period of ...
A. 15 May 2019: You CANNOT make him responsible for managing your anxiety. That places strain on a relationship that ultimately is GOING to break it up if you don't stop putting him in that role. YOU must be your OWN support system, and if you are dealing with ... (read in full...)
How do I calm down during foreplay?
Q. I'm very new to the world of sex, having never been in a relationship before. I now have a girlfriend who is equally as inexperienced. We've never actually had intercourse but I was wondering what people actually do during sex/foreplay when it comes ...
A. 14 May 2019: One thing you can do is -- a couple of hours before your date with your woman, masturbate to orgasm. You'll gain a lot more control during foreplay. If that makes no difference, and you still are in danger of being premature, then go ahead and ... (read in full...)
My husband wants "space", is shutting down all communication with me, is cold, rude and distant and spends a lot of time with people at work.
Q. For the past few months, my husband has been spending more and more time hanging out with his colleagues and bosses (male) late at night. Work has been getting busier and he's trying really hard to impress his bosses, as he was placed in charge on a ...
A. 14 May 2019: I hate to say this, but your husband is acting like he's cheating on you. If I were you, I'd very quietly do some reconnaissance on what he's spending his money on, what he's saying to whom on texts, calls, and emails. Check the call log to see if ... (read in full...)
My mother does everything and yet when her mom passes away I know she won't be treated fairly. I want to speak up but don't know how to
Q. Aunties! I need some family advice please. My uncle has lived in America for the past 30 years whilst me, my sister and my mum live 20 mins away from my grandma. My mum has done a lot for my grandparents over the years. When my grandpa was dyin...
A. 6 May 2019: I second Honeypie on this one.
This is an issue to which you should NOT talk to your grandma or mom about, as the inheritance doesn't affect YOU personally, but is between those three (well, actually just TWO -- your mom and your grandma)... (read in full...)
I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy
Q. I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...
A. 29 April 2019: NO! THis is not normal! Why are you wasting years of your life in a pretend fantasy with this guy?? There is no hope, no future, no reality, no time to screw around, and you must be a masochist to allow your looks and vitality to be spent in a ... (read in full...)
I had sex with another man because its what my husband wanted and now he's mad
Q. How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later ...
A. 28 April 2019: Posts like yours I wish I could pin and send to everyone who comes on here talking about the same kind of fantasy your husband has been pressuring you with for 2 years.
Your husband is confronting the truth that fantasy and reality are often ex... (read in full...)
How do you stop wanting something that you can never have?
Q. I guess I’ll start with a bit of a background. My cousin is the son of my aunt, my father’s sister, now he’s 18 and I’m 18. We spent a lot of time together when we were children because our families lived very close each to other. We were great ...
A. 26 April 2019: Welllll, for lack of a better word, and pun NOT intended, but you and your cousin might be screwed when it comes to this dilemma. You both are closeted, so you can't tell your parents or other family members that you don't want to share a bedroom ... (read in full...)
My husband loves looking at other women
Q. My husband loves looking at other women. He used to go online and ask them to send him pictures. I asked him to stop. He stopped now that we got married 8 months ago.he has posters all over his garage and playboy and looks at pictures on facebook. I ...
A. 26 April 2019: Unfortunately, you married a guy who has a pretty severe addiction. He is addicted to the stimulation that sexual images induce. This addiction was so engrained that it has actually re-wired his sexual response mechanism in his brain, and like ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I regret it
Q. So I had been dating this boy for three weeks, and we were in a happy relationship together. He's currently in his last year of school so has to prepare for his exams, so he couldn't talk to me all the time but we agreed that he would keep me posted ...
A. 18 April 2019: First of all, we need to see WHY he initiated the break in the first place. It was one of two reasons, and I'll outline them here:
If he slept with you during those 3 weeks he dated you, and then went distant, then he's a dog, and you should d... (read in full...)
Can't understand why my lesbian g/f would be taking birth control for the sole purpose of not getting pregnant
Q. I'm struggling how and if to bring this up with my partner as I want to be sensitive and not offend her, I'm not sure if I'm getting red flags or being paranoid. My girlfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. She is having some birt...
A. 16 April 2019: You didn't mention how long you had been seeing each other exclusively, which in my opinion is the key to why she is still taking birth control.
I don't think she is cheating on you with men. I think, rather, she is not sure how long you two will... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: That's your son's type - older women! That's okay! If she's a sweet person and treats him well, then that should be celebrated! People don't usually bat an eyelid when the age difference is for the older man and younger woman, but if it's the ... (read in full...)
I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew
Q. My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...
A. 13 April 2019: I have some thoughts that you might not have considered:
If you were to take in this 9-year old, you wouldn't be any less child-free. You didn't take in a baby to have to change diapers or do any of the stuff with. You are signing on for a TE... (read in full...)
Am I being sent signs that I should stay single?
Q. I met a man on a drunken, fun night the other night. We clicked and had a lot in common. he was quite sweet. he took me for dinner and gave me sweet cuddles. I had asked God if maybe God would want me to have a boyfriend or a husband a couple of ...
A. 3 April 2019: You can pray to God on your own. Church is SPECIFICALLY to "gather yourself together for the edification of the saints and the equipping of the ministry".
Church AT ITS CORE is a SOCIAL construct. It's DESIGN is for you to be with like-min... (read in full...)
Am I being sent signs that I should stay single?
Q. I met a man on a drunken, fun night the other night. We clicked and had a lot in common. he was quite sweet. he took me for dinner and gave me sweet cuddles. I had asked God if maybe God would want me to have a boyfriend or a husband a couple of ...
A. 29 March 2019: I hope this isn't a joke question, because this is the first time I've seen someone call themselves a "servant of God" while talking about meeting up at a drunken soiree and going to have sex with a random guy. Do you not see the disconnect here?
... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's treatment of me emotional abuse?
Q. Hi I have been with my fiancée for over two years. Usually he’s charming and sweet. He has a mean streak though. He feels entitled like I should pay for everything cause he makes less money. If we have a disagreement. He says to shut up ...
A. 29 March 2019: He thinks you should pay for everything?? REALLY?? What a leeching little toad! What you make should have ZERO bearing on what you do together or who pays! If someone's in a serious relationship, especially if you two are calling each other ... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my boyfriend (no sex) but my parents said NO
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month. This weekend he asked if I could sleep over. Obviously, I’d love to. However, my parents are catholic and extremely conservative. I brought up the idea and they automatically said no. Honestly, ...
A. 26 March 2019: Do you think he wants you to "sleep over" because he just wants to cuddle? NO WAY can you be that naive! He wants you to sleep because you'll get naked with him, and you will WANT TO because RAGING HORMONES!
You do not know the guy. If you a... (read in full...)
My Husband Loves Social Media... I Don't
Q. Hello! My husband and I are having some issues in our marriage, mostly arising from social media. He loves his social media -- he's always checking his likes and posting pictures, but I, on the other hand, don't use mine all that often. And becau...
A. 26 March 2019: This one is really easy once you deconstruct his core motivation for his treatment of you, but since you're not really one FOR social media, it simply wouldn't occur to you why he is acting so unreasonable here:
You say he's REALLY into it? LOT... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to a man who has kids and is separated. I'm torn about whether to move forward with him
Q. Hi all - any advice or thoughts on the following would be much appreciated as I'm at a total loss, something very uncommon for me. A series of events happened in my life that caused me to relocate to a brand new city without knowing anyone. ...
A. 24 March 2019: Yeah, I also say SLOW DOWN here!
This guy, with 2 kids and not divorced from his wife, is not in any position physically, emotionally, or financially to have a rich, full relationship with someone else. He has unfinished business, tons of bagga... (read in full...)
I am not sure that I can be the support system I think my b/f needs
Q. Hi all! I have been dating my BF for about 4 months now. The relationship was very fast moving and we basically were pretty "offical" after a few weeks of dating. He was pretty intense, But I felt like I had finally found someone who really cared...
A. 19 March 2019: There's a huge difference between being someone's support system and being their emotional and mental crutch. Like the others have said, you MUST NOT be their therapist. A healthy relationship cannot withstand such an imbalance, and you will start ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to his sex secrecy?
Q. So, crazy title question, I know, but I'm not sure if im overreacting. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were talking about women "squirting" during sex (insert embarrassed face lol). We were just talking about it casually because we are v...
A. 13 March 2019: Unfortunately, I think that not only are you overreacting, but you're turning something really amazing into a battleground, which ruins it for the future!
He would have to talk about former exes if he were to answer your question, and that's n... (read in full...)
I’m nervous about losing my virginity? Any tips?
Q. hi everyone I was hoping to get advice on losing virginity as an older overweight woman. I am 27 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a fwb situation going on and I plan to lose my virginity to him. The Problem is that I’m extremely nervous ...
A. 12 March 2019: I'm with the others on the advice (i.e. birth control, condoms, it would be better with someone you're in an actual relationship with, and YES Candles are a girl with image insecurity's best friend) but I wanted to share something to help you feel ... (read in full...)
He ended it when I thought things were going well. How do I let it go?
Q. I was talking with a guy for a little over a month and last week he invited me out on a first date. We had coffee, chatted, it was really nice. We went back to his flat share and watched 3 hours of Dave Chappelle. At one point I asked him if I could ...
A. 7 March 2019: He is full of crap. He DID use you. He knew he wasn't staying, that he wasn't over his ex, so you were ego salve and he took you to the bedroom really fast, that's for sure.
What freaked him out was your discussion with your mom. He saw that... (read in full...)
He ended things suddenly but I still like him. How do I deal with this?
Q. A guy I was seeing was giving me all the signals that he wanted more and I went with the flow. Suddenly he's ended everything and said he just wants to be friends.. I asked him whats going on because I'm so confused. And he said that at this poi...
A. 7 March 2019: He's a flake and a time waster. DO NOT BE FRIENDS with him! He will keep you on standby, hoping that whatever girl he dropped you for doesn't drop HIM. You were dumped for another girl, I hope you realize that. 99% of sudden breakups are usually ... (read in full...)
I suspect he’s trying to cheat on her with me. Should I confront him?
Q. I matched with his guy on a dating site a couple months ago and give him my number. He clearly only wants to hook up and that's ok with me because I'm not trying to date him, just wanna have some fun with him. We have yet to meet in person but I did ...
A. 7 March 2019: ASk him in an email -- "Who is the girl and the kid I saw you with at **insert store name**?"
If he hems and haws or asks you if you're stalking him, tell him that you were shopping at the store and were startled to see him, noticed that his tatt... (read in full...)
Colleague thinks my new man is settling for me! Should I do anything about it?
Q. So basically my question is around a new romance I have just started. Myself and the man I’m seeing both work in the same industry but we don’t work together in the same company. But our paths sometimes cross at networking events etc which is how we ...
A. 7 March 2019: To hell with "breaking confidences"! It actually sounds like your friend is trying to sabotage your relationship with him. Does she see HERSELF as "petite and gorgeous"? Does she have a thing for this guy, or is she trying to torpedo you because ... (read in full...)
It is his 30th birthday at the end of March - What do I get the guy I have only been seeing for a few weeks?
Q. So I have only known this guy for a few weeks but I have found out that it is his 30th birthday at the end of the month. It is quite a significant birthday and whilst we haven't known each other long, he is incredibly thoughtful and we have been...
A. 2 March 2019: First of all, kudos to you for learning his interests and tailoring a date to those interests! THat's 80% of the work right there!
I agree with the others -- something not too serious. No jewelry or anything signifying undying love or anything... (read in full...)
He's doing weed yet again despite all my ultimatums
Q. Hi So me and boyfriend will have been together for 3 years (March 11th) and are in the process of looking to buy our first home. However, throughout the relationship he has struggled with an addiction to weed. He has repeatedly told me he's q...
A. 2 March 2019: I agree with Honeypie. There is one unchangeable rule in any relationship:
You can NEVER ever give an ultimatum.
The reason why that is such an ironclad truth is the simple fact that you can never EVER change someone else. The only person ... (read in full...)
He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...
A. 2 March 2019: Addressing both your post, OP, and the answer from Youcannotbeserious, though she *is* right about there being the rare post about polyamory, there are far more posts that show the AFTERMATH of this type of arrangement, and to be honest, I have ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and work part time. My husband wants me to get another job to pay his parents debts.
Q. My husband's parents owe a large amount of money to a family member which they can't pay. They have asked my husband to pay the money on their behalf, we are talking £500 per month for the next 10ish years. My husband works 9 to 5 and I work part ...
A. 1 March 2019: Listen, not only do I not recommend you do this like the others have said, but you need to protect yourself! Your husband wants to harm YOUR family to subsidize his parents, and that is unacceptable.
If he will not see reason and tell his pare... (read in full...)
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