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Did my girlfriend cheat on me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2018)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I’m 43yrs of age I been with my girlfriend for 14yrs an she is 32yrs of age.

for the last few months we been having alot of great sex like everyday then one day for 3hrs she went to work and next day we had sex an her vagina was alittle opening an felt like a air balloon and even 5 or 6 days later it still don’t feel right but she said she didn’t cheat cause cheating don’t leave you opening for a week or so can this be true

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (6 September 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntI cannot believe at 43 years off age you are asking a silly question like this. I am actually gobsmacked. If it was someone who has had sex for the first few times at a young age I would be reassuring them but come on you must know that your claims are bizarre. I am really not sure why she has wasted so much time with you when you have so little faith in her. She was barely out off nappies when you got with her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2018):

Nope, that is completely normal and does not mean cheatin. There is literally no reason, it just changes-temporarily or permanently- Sometimes literally just with age one day it changes. Also depending on how full the bowels are (making tighter or looser).

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (4 September 2018):

YouWish agony auntShe didn't cheat on you. Vaginas change due to hormones, and like the male anon says, your penis changes consistency for the same reasons. Did that mean you cheated? Or are getting too hooked on porn? You could be stressed, which could have caused mild ED. Unfortunately, your plumbing gets more affected by age than hers does. How would you feel if you had a "down" day, and she jumped all over you with accusations of cheating?? You're attacking her womanhood by being so ignorant about anatomy!

Also, seriously, like the others said. 14 years?? If you were to die tomorrow, which is more possible for you than for her, are you so selfish as to bankrupt her because someone has to bury you? Then, there's no help for her with life insurance or Social Security because you have to be a SPOUSE to receive a death and survivor benefits?? You might not believe in marriage, but the law does. You'll destitute her if you die now without making provision for her and/or your children. What are you waiting for???

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (4 September 2018):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntI think this is more about your own complete ignorance about women's anatomy and your own insecurities than about anything your girlfriend may or may not have done with someone else.

Is it perhaps that, at your age, you are finding it challenging to keep up with a younger woman in her prime?

I do wonder what a 43 year old bloke is doing having a girlfriend for this amount of time (since she was barely 18 years old) and not marrying her. As the saying goes, either shit or get off the pot.

If she was writing in, I would be telling her to stop wasting her life on you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2018):

Maybe it "don't feel right" because your dick isn't as hard as it should be. After all, you're a whole lot OLDER than she is.

If I were her and I knew that after fourteen years together your first response to an imagined issue would be to suspect me of cheating then I'd dump your sorry ass and deflating penis on the spot.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (4 September 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntAt 29 you dated an 18 year old? It's been 14 years and you're not married or engaged? Yo're both grown adults, so where is this going? It's dead, OP. There's been no progression for 14 years.

You need to grow up. You are 43. Time to decide what you want from this relationship.

You also need to research safe sex and sex in general. Tightness and looseness means absolutely nothing. Vaginas stretch and tighten all of the time. The fact that you're 43 and don't know this is worrying. No more sex until you educate yourself a bit. Accusing her of cheating is silly.

She is in the prime of her life and you are offering her nothing.

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