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We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?

Tagged as: Online dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2018) 7 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2018)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Did he liked me? We met off Tinder?

I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy, but instead came off aloof and cold but there was some intrigue on both our parts. I know he is very attracted to me. I have had lot of first date experience but with this guy i got nervous. He deleted tinder but we matched on diff app and started messaging again. He is a very introverted kinda shy guy but sweet. We met again and made love at his place, I left too quickly and I think it ruined things. He said i can go over whenever i wanted but I didnt reach out, neither did he.

10 days went by i heard nothing and felt bad. And i messaged him and apologized and he said it was nothing, he had thick skin amd hope I had great week. I messaged him next day say if he ever wanna hang again to let me know...but I hear nothing. Its been 3 weeks. Is he interested ? I do like him. I think he did as well, he said I was cute and my smile is adorable. The sex was also very good ....is he just shy or ??? Its been 3 weeks.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (17 September 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHaving sex (not making love) on the second meeting would suggest to most people that it was only a hook up. You left quickly so he might off thought that you weren't that interested or maybe he just wanted a hook up. None off us on here can be sure if he wants more. Usually if you are looking for a relationship then you really should take time to get to know the other person before jumping in to bed. Most off the time that would suggest you are wanting a hook up, and not trying to sound sexist here but if a girl jumps in to bed with a guy straight away a guy wouldn't look at them as a long term partner. My suggestion would be to message him once more, be honest and say you would like to get to know him more as a person and see what he says. If he doesn't reply then you have your answer and you can take with you to take your time in future when meeting a guy.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (15 September 2018):

N91 agony auntYou met on a hook up app, suggested to meet straight away. Met up twice, had sex and then are wondering why he’s not been in touch?

You gave it up ridiculously easy, he has nothing to hang around for anymore. It sounded like both your meetings were extremely awkward. Personally I can’t see what would make this situation work.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (15 September 2018):

YouWish agony auntI agree with the first poster R. Tinder is a "hookup" ad. Gone are the days of passive girls expecting guys to "Drive" the relationship. He's still communicating with you, so ask him out and set it up! You might know enough about him to know what he's interested in, so don't just say "let's go out again". Ask him to something specific (a concert, or sports event, or something you know he's into).

If he blows you off, then you know it wasn't you, but he was just looking for a quickie hookup.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2018):

You didnt 'make love' personally id call making love is between people in a full committed relationship thats not what it is here. He wanted sex and he got it. Youre putting effort in and hes not, im afraid to say hes not interested in you. If he was he would put same amount of effort in as you are. Move on forget this guy and find someone who wants to invest his time in you. If he comes back in a couple of week looking for a hook up tell him hes already had his chance( because if he truly likes you he will still try after you told him hes missed his chance)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2018):

You didn't 'make love' you had sex, there was no love involved.

He liked you but it seems he expected you to make the first moves, you did but not straight away so he figured you wasn't that bothered (that's my take on it)

I doubt it will progress, if he was bothered he would make the effort, my boyfriend is shy but regardless they will let you know and he wasn't so shy he couldn't have sex with you.

Maybe try and get to know the opposite sex off these kind of dating apps and get to know them properly before sex and you might have more luck. Good luck

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 September 2018):

Honeypie agony auntMy guess is he WAS just looking for sex. And he presumed you were too. Your action kind of seemed like you were just looking to get laid.

Tindr is a hook up app, not REALLY a dating app. So you are BOUND to meet more people just looking for casual hook ups rather then anything remotely serious or relationship-like.

Neither of you seem to REALLY want to put in the effort to be more than casual sex partners, ships in the night.

Move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2018):

If you would like to see this guy again, just ask him out. You say he is shy, and that last time you hooked up you acted like you didn't really like him (leaving too fast) so he may think that you are not interested.

If you ask him out to a specific time and place date, and he says no or does not answer, then you know he is not really interested in you and you can let him go.

Give it a shot, I am pulling for you

R

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