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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 29 May 2016: When girls have casual sex, the typical reaction is that she's damaged, she's looking for approval from guys, her heart is closed. Is it possible that she is a pansexual, and she loves everyone she sees. She is the real definition of polyamory? ... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 25 May 2016: So you get the two extremes of date behavior. I don't like what he said. I would be inclined to say he got bitter from women who freeloaded from him. It's kind of a baggage to carry when people make it such a big deal of who pays.
I would not want... (read in full...)
Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 25 May 2016: I actually first wrote the exact same thing as anon, but I erased everything because I am not certain if you are convincing yourself. I am aware that times have changed, and the mentality is different when you are 40, 30 and 20.
Sounds like you ... (read in full...)
I don't mind paying but resent being asked to
Q. Dear Cupid: I was on an on-line dating site. A man sent me messages saying he would like to meet me. We met at a place he picked, I told him I was good with just a drink (no food). I had one beer (it was happy hour), he picked up the tab which wa...
A. 24 May 2016: I wouldn't immediately think he meant it's your turn to pay, but rather, he wants to see your area and you get to pick your favorite place. The main point is that he wants a second date, and he's the one driving over. You can still offer to pay if ... (read in full...)
Do I love this girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Basically I have a lot of friends who are in the mindset that they don't want a relationship. I feel as though I'm in that category as I never feel the desire that I actively want to seek a girlfriend and I also really like my f...
A. 24 May 2016: You can love a person as a human being, or you can love a person to want to possess her and think about long term. It's easy to confuse the two. It's fine that you can't elaborate on your feelings. What's more important is that your interactions ... (read in full...)
I need the morals, security and companionship of religion without the dogma
Q. Hi there, I am hoping that someone out there can give me advice on the following, I am a 50 year old male. I have had a pretty dodgy past. From about the age of 20 I started to dabble with drugs, on hindsight I am shocked by how quickly I went fro...
A. 24 May 2016: I found that Osho really helped me a lot. There's a 1000 page Book of Secrets. Osho said it does not matter if you are a Christian, Hindu or Muslim, or homeless. You are on your own and you have to find yourself. The book does not tell you to ... (read in full...)
I thought there were mutual feelings but that the timing was off.
Q. Definitely needs some advice here, So my boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now, (3+ years). While I do care for him, we are opposites and have been on and off. 2 years ago, I went on a trip with my school and met a guy (al...
A. 23 May 2016: I would be cautious about being so sure about "connection." It's easy to feel it with people, but the kind of connection that lasts is hard to find. Now, if what he felt for you was real, he can man up and tell her the truth that he found someone ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to handle grief? Maybe it was not my fault the baby bird died. But I feel guilt about it
Q. Hello, I am absolutely devastated. My boyfriend and I went to the mall and saw a group of people huddled together near the entrance of a shop. I overheard one of the people there going "Management knows about it." When we left the mall about a...
A. 21 May 2016: People who want to help out wildlife have a heart of gold. Examples are like the Australians who gave koalas water bottles, people who save beached whales and put them back into the ocean, and people who cleaned up ducks and ocean creatures who were ... (read in full...)
What's happening to me? Am I feeling all this emotion as a result of supressing my feelings?
Q. Hello its Military Man once again. The count down for deployment is 4 days and im starting to experience things I never really strongly felt before.....emotion. I mean Ive been hurt and understood this but I never been able to show it. Like whe...
A. 21 May 2016: I don't think suppressing feelings is wrong, or a weakness either. People who work full time in stressful jobs are switched into warrior mode so the priority is tasks, and not talking about romance and feelings. When you have a moment to relax and ... (read in full...)
I need advice! I'm young, married and unhappy!
Q. Hi looking for advice. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, married for 6. About two years ago I moved for work, we had talked it over and agreed he would move the rest of our stuff and then come join me in a month. However he ended up ...
A. 18 May 2016: There may be reasons you make yourself stay in this. You are hoping that he snaps out of his bad mood, and go back to where he was when he was a teenager. You worry that once you divorce, you realize people out there in the dating market are ... (read in full...)
Trying to get life back together. Does talk therapy work? Do antiDepressants work?
Q. 28 year old chap here who has lived life going no where for many years . I know what I should do but do not feel happiness is actually achievable for me .. yipee!! Anyway went to the docs at last and they suggested therapy or Anti Depressant's . ...
A. 17 May 2016: Anti depressants worked for me. I had acute depression when I was 16. Before I took medicine it was non stop crying. Not just sobbing. It was uncontrollable, loud crying. I also slept a lot so I missed some classes. I took Zoloft for a year and got ... (read in full...)
Is it alright to have my girlfriend live at the family house for the summer when she will be working with my dad?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm sorry if I kind of stopped giving advice, I had a lot of things in my plate this past month and well there is something that is really concerning me and I may need help. As summer vacation approaches me and my girlfriend TA...
A. 17 May 2016: Your dad is the boss here so if he says okay, then your girlfriend should stay with you folks. Your dad is also mature and experienced. He will advise you about what's appropriate or not. It's also up to your girlfriend to decide whether she feels ... (read in full...)
Row with my mom caused to leave for the night. What if she doesn't return?
Q. me and my mum had a big row today and im worried it has ruined the love i used to have with her. i asked my mum for £50 to buy some shoes and she said yes then said as long as their sensible and i just murmerd yes mum. then i went out and bough...
A. 17 May 2016: It sounds like she's a single mom and you have no one else to confide in. If your parents are still married, then surely she would not just up and leave?
I don't think a mom daughter fight would cause her to leave. She probably had a night plan... (read in full...)
He says titles are irrelevant. Red flag?
Q. I’ve been dating someone from online for 1.5 months. Yesterday (after a few drinks on his end) he asked me why I like him. I thought that was an awkward question to answer and that it was weird he insisted to know. But then he said “I can’t tell ...
A. 16 May 2016: Exclusive dating is not meaningless because you are working towards a commitment, while not at that stage yet. My opinion is that you can only work towards that goal when you concentrate on one person. He asked you what you like about him to ... (read in full...)
Less sex than before. Yet this extreme reaction to my complaint? What should I do now ?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for 10 years over the past year our sex has dropped down to 2-3 times a month. He thinks he has control over when we do have sex of weather we have it or not. Last week I tried getting him to have sex on two nights back to ...
A. 16 May 2016: He has a porn addiction. His extreme reaction is actually a cover for his secret shame that he doesn't want others to know. He may not want you to know that his testosterone level dropped and that regular sex is not enough to satisfy him. Porn ... (read in full...)
Met this guy and he has a Gf. What should I do? I am yet to tell me that I'm divorcing my husband.
Q. My husband I have agreed to divorce. We still live together because it's convenient but we treat each other as roommates and I will probably stay at our house for at least next three months. About two months ago I met a guy through mutual friends....
A. 16 May 2016: The only time you can tell him to leave his girlfriend is when you agree to officially date. You should finalize the divorce, arrange your new living situation as a single woman. Then you can make relationship decisions together. Right now it's just ... (read in full...)
Help ! I need help to learn how to let go of all this hate I feel for this woman who so belittled me and hurt me so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I posted on here September 2014 time- about my cheating boyfriend of 5 years. Well I decided to give things another chance and it's the best decision I ever made. Whilst I don't mean this literally, him cheating was one ...
A. 16 May 2016: Ideally couples would not need the devastation of an affair to learn the mistakes they are making in the relationship. This woman is like a virus, that attacks when immunity is low. You can only forgive when a person feels remorse. She doesn't. I'd ... (read in full...)
Have I given him a bad impression by allowing this kiss to happen?
Q. So last night was my first kiss with nu bf. We've been seeing for about 4 weeks and me and some friends went to his place (were 14) and I was bored so I went behind his sofa to lie down and text people. He got a blanket and put it over my head then...
A. 15 May 2016: You didn't want to be seen, and the blanket didn't really give you the privacy you needed. I am sure he still enjoyed it, even though it was awkward. It was sneaky and I guess it had the exciting element. It could be arousing for him too, so he ... (read in full...)
How do I give myself closure? I can't understand why he ditched me when I thought it was going so well.
Q. Can't get why he just ditched me? I met a guy that is 45. We went on 3 dates and he said he wanted to be more than friends. We began dating and became intimate, things were passionate. He introduced me to people including his son. He came to my ...
A. 15 May 2016: You are not alone because stories like these fill up the dear cupid page. There are more men who go into dating to fill up their emptiness, to try to get over their exes, to make their exes jealous, than those who genuinely want a relationship.
P... (read in full...)
My neighbour feels evil, to me. Is it possible that she is or has done something to discourage the sale of our home?
Q. A few years ago, a woman living across the house from us became infatuated with my husband and some very strange things started happening in our lives. She even put something in my drink to make me very sick. We always felt like this woman's aura...
A. 15 May 2016: Black magic doesn't have to be formed using herbs, candle and prayer rituals. People can just concentrate and think of bad stuff. I don't know what ethnicity she is. The only people I talked with, and black magic was mentioned were Ethiopians, ... (read in full...)
To her it was just a kiss. Should I talk to her about it? The kiss made a big impact on me.
Q. Hung out with a good friend last week, and I ended up with my first kiss which lead to some more kissing as well. Granted, a lot of alcohol was involved, and we both knew something may happen if we spent the night drinking. Nonetheless, we had fun, ...
A. 14 May 2016: You got a dose of dopamine and oxytocin after that kiss. The brain does not discriminate, it does not know you are kissing a friend, a potential girlfriend or a hot lover. All it knows is that kissing feels good, especially if it's the first time. I ... (read in full...)
The spark has gone. If we do split up then how will that affect our 4 year old daughter?
Q. Since the birth of our daughter, 4 years ago, my partner and I have drifted apart, we still enjoy one another's company and get along but there is no spark between us. Sex and even intimacy is non existent. We both agree that we love each other but ...
A. 14 May 2016: If you were a woman then I would answer differently, because I am not a man, so I don't know if losing the spark means inability to get and maintain erection. This can be a personal thing too, as every man is built differently. There is a difference ... (read in full...)
Is he breaking up with me or just needs time? Where do I stand with him?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm in limbo with a man I have been seeing for the last 2 months. Everything between us has been going great, we enjoy each other's company and are very attracted to one another. He, however, is going through a lot of tough tim...
A. 13 May 2016: No one just go into dating knowingly, saying they are looking for long term, then say they can't be in a relationship right now. He's old enough to know what he wants or doesn't want. I suspect all he wanted all along is some no strings attached ... (read in full...)
What happened to 'live and let live' ? Why is 'slut shaming' and misogyny becoming prevalent in society today?
Q. Maybe some of you remember a book called " Backlash " by Pulitzer winner Susan Faludi, in which she argued for the existence of a media driven " backlash " aimed to invalidate the feminist progresses of the 70's. Now, I don't know if Faludi w...
A. 11 May 2016: I acknowledge that sexual attitude has become lax, and that teenage pregnancy is a problem. I've seen enough Maury shows to know that. Sometimes promiscuity is a reaction formation from abuse and parental neglect, causing young people to look for ... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm telling the truth? My controlling husband does not like what I've been saying?
Q. my husband who is very controlling turned me against members of my family because he obviously is jealous, now that I have got in touch with these people again after 3 years of not speaking. My husband does not like it but I am much stronger now...
A. 11 May 2016: My dad was traditional and used to think that once my mom was married to him, he belonged to his family and it wasn't right that she still visit her family. My mom fought back for her right to remain close to her parents, even if it meant causing ... (read in full...)
Can my cheating be condoned? Should I feel guilt?
Q. Here is my current situation... I am a married 35 year old with 2 kids and I am currently cheating happily. I know how it sounds but hear me out. I have been in my relationship with my husband for 12 years. I like to think we are good parents, we...
A. 10 May 2016: It's not about should or should not. You either feel guilt or you do not. Your post suggests that you feel very little. Every person is different. I could do it if the wife is also hooking up with other men. Even if the reason is that she got old ... (read in full...)
Worried I don't care who I go with
Q. Okay. So this might be really strange because I don't even understand this. But im confused about my sexual orientation. Ever since I was young I feel like I was more sexualy charged then my peers. Since 11 I have been masturbating 2-3 times a ...
A. 10 May 2016: Your sexual orientation is pansexual, gender blind, non cisgender. Your romantic orientation is women. Is there one term for that? I don't think so. You are not selfish because sex is consensual, and you both get pleasure. It will only be selfish if ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is great, except when he comments on the appearance of other girls!
Q. Hi.. Um I have very low self esteem and suffered from depression since i was very young. I'm in a relationship, and honestly, its great.. Apart from the fact where he compliments other girls sayong they are hot or have big boobs . This really ...
A. 10 May 2016: I think as he is overweight himself he's the one who's insecure so he purposely comments on hot girls to bring you down. It's another problem if he doesn't understand how it hurts you. But that's exactly what he wanted to do. Then tell you you are ... (read in full...)
I need help to understand and untangle all that so upset me before we broke up, after 6 years together. Can anyone help please?
Q. I hope someone will be able to give me advice on this which is breaking my heart. I have been with my partner almost 6 years and he has left me. I came from a marriage of 20 years where i found my husband in bed with another woman, so to of got t...
A. 10 May 2016: I am guessing you have reasons that you were against his recent family trip.
You have separation anxiety, since you had dealt with the pain of being cheated on before. He had gone on holidays without you for 3 years. You felt being left out. You ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with his problematic nature? I never expected this.
Q. Dear agony aunts, 2 years ago you helped me a lot to clarify my relationship with my ex boyfriend. We split up, I felt really happy because it was the right thing to do for my phychological security's sake. The problem now is I am having a ...
A. 10 May 2016: I am the neglected sibling in the family so I had always attracted the same, or boyfriends who want to change me, improve me. That was when I was still insecure and not comfortable with my own skin. Once you mature and become more assertive, you ... (read in full...)
Is it him that’s off? I think how I’ve acted and the messages I’ve sent are fine!
Q. Hello, I've been single for just over a year. I have been online dating. I met a guy and he was very keen 2 dates in he was saying if we get married would you take my second name? And my daughter would be happy here at the weekends with us. He's...
A. 9 May 2016: I think he's off but it's not because of you. I think he's the on who's off by mentioning marriage after only two dates, then asking if you had found someone else. He's someone who blows hot and cold. You were sick too but you could still manage to ... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake telling his friend that I'm interested in him?
Q. So there's a guy I find attractive in one of my classes (who shall be named N). Naturally I sneak peeks at N and it seems like he does the same (but they say infatuated people misinterpret things so this could just be me getting my hopes up). ...
A. 8 May 2016: You did not make a mistake. I think he's a shy guy and decides not to do anything because now he's in a spotlight. Everything you say or do together would be observed or maybe joked about by others. In theory, setting friends up in a date sounds ... (read in full...)
Please advise me, How do you fall out of love with someone you truly love?
Q. Good day! I just wanted to ask for some advice on how to deal with my present problem. I am a female Filipino Roman Catholic doctor presently working in Saudi Arabia as a medical resident doctor since year 2009. After just a few...
A. 8 May 2016: The definition of rebound is not that it's temporary or it won't grow deeper. One can stay in rebound forever if she decides so. You fall out of love by looking at the reality. Even if you get your divorced processed and are now free to date, Muslim ... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 8 May 2016: People with drug and alcohol addictions function as two people, literally day and night. They are functional during the day because they have to work. Then at night time they go into another world and forget everything. The guys that she picks are ... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 8 May 2016: I meant how hard it is to find a good guy as a boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 8 May 2016: After your update, I think she's not romantically interested in you. I am not sure what pleasant time means, but it sounds more like a mellow, friendly term. It's friendzone, not dead zone. While some people say "let's be friends" to soften the ... (read in full...)
My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!
Q. At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...
A. 7 May 2016: I notice he's much older than you. So he's using his age to show you he's right and you are wrong, and would not budge. Older guys also do not feel the excitement of getting married a second time around. A used ring is a constant rub in your face, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was insecure and never said he was sorry for saying it
Q. Hi. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. Everything has been great so far and we have been looking at apartments to move in. Tonight we were hanging out with our friends and I joked about my boyfriend's upcoming trip to the Bahamas ...
A. 7 May 2016: First I would wonder why a guy would go on a trip with 8 females, but not with you. The girls will be doing girly stuff like bikinis, spa sessions and shopping while this lone guy will feel so out of place. I am guessing there will be guys there ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if you and your ex are good friends?
Q. If after divorce you and your ex are still good friends...but he has had a girl friend for the past 5 years he takes you out quite often is always there when you need him does odd jobs round your apartment ... But there is no physical contact. You ...
A. 7 May 2016: It means he loves you emotionally but loves the other woman physically. Taking you out and helping at your house is to hang on to that connection. If I were the other girlfriend I would not be okay with this. If I were you I would be looking for the ... (read in full...)
A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?
Q. I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...
A. 6 May 2016: She was attempting to take it slow, and be unpredictable in hopes that it would excite you, because she's now a challenge and then you would go pursue her. Didn't work for you since I think you prefer a straight forward approach. Waiting 2 days to ... (read in full...)
His parents are egotistical and controlling! I'm in need of advice!
Q. Ive been with my long term fiance and planning to marry soon. I know he cares about me and love me. But theres so much obstacle and problems in our relationship. His parent is egoist and narcisstic parent. They controlled their children eventho...
A. 6 May 2016: There's surely a lot of labelling here. Narcissistic, controlling, pathological liar. These terms fit a criminal, definitely not him and his family. I don't like dentists either and I am not going to argue with my mom why I don't go so I lie too. I ... (read in full...)
My ex acts like he's interested but he does not want to break up with his Girlfriend. Is he playing both of us?
Q. In my opinion, I am in a very unstable relationship with my ex boyfriend. As much as I love him and want to be with him, i think he's not being fair to me and being very sketchy. I don't think he's intentionally trying to hurt me but he's putting ...
A. 6 May 2016: Some guys don't realize women need a lot more than sweet words, attention here and there and promises to be happy. We need a real commitment and actions to prove it. Maybe his friendship with you is to sooth his guilt. Somehow I feel it's his ... (read in full...)
His parents are egotistical and controlling! I'm in need of advice!
Q. Ive been with my long term fiance and planning to marry soon. I know he cares about me and love me. But theres so much obstacle and problems in our relationship. His parent is egoist and narcisstic parent. They controlled their children eventho...
A. 5 May 2016: I think you have confused feelings about his parents. Overall they are good people, but when it comes to having it your way, such as wanting your fiancé to have a more assertive personality, then his parents became egotistical and controlling. From ... (read in full...)
Am I missing the point, or is he being over dramatic?
Q. Im not sure what I am asking, but I guess Im wondering if this is acceptable behaviour or not. When I asked my boyfriend today if he could do me a favour, he replied not right now. I said it needed to be done right away, and he just said he cou...
A. 5 May 2016: At this point it's not about figuring out who's right, who's wrong. I don't think he's into this relationship anymore. When everything irritates him, it's just not working. Or, his behavior is an accumulation of frustration in his life and he's ... (read in full...)
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