I found a dildo in the closet. I know wife has used it
Q. Been married for 35 years. My wife is still very hot. She mentioned to me that she and a friend went to a sex toy store and they laughed a lot. She did not say she bought anything. I did not ask. In the past 10 years sex was really for me. Usually 4 ...
A. 3 March 2022: OK, and?
Does she need your permission to own a sex-toy?
Does she need you to approve of her sex-toys?
She said she didn't buy anything, which might be true. Her friend might have bought it for your wife as a gag-gift.
You two are... (read in full...)
I still think of my former lover
Q. I had an affair that I ended nearly three years ago. I don’t need to be lectured on my poor choices - nor do I justify them, but there are many layers to the complete story. On a positive note, my husband and I have made tremendous progress in our ...
A. 2 March 2022: I think it's "normal" OP
Loads of people think about an ex (a blast from the past or a most recent ex).
He was a part of your life for a while.
You want to forget him, and what YOU did - which is only normal too. And it might be why he k... (read in full...)
What is a virtual number?
Q. How do you use this virtual number thing I see my husband has a text from this number and when I call it says Thanks for the call Configure your Numbers voice URL to change this message let us know if we can help you in any way with your development ...
A. 2 March 2022: I didn't know what it was so I googled it.
"A Virtual Number is a dedicated phone number that can be used for SMS or MMS messaging, and belongs to only one account (unlike the SMSGlobal shared pool numbers). Think of a virtual number as your own... (read in full...)
He doesn't have a job. what should I do?
Q. I need some relationship help? My fiancé and I have been together going on 6 years. He proposed to me when we were together only 6 months but I wanted to wait to get married to see how things would play out because I was in a previous relationsh...
A. 1 March 2022: I think you need to sit down and talk.
Express how you feel and what you need.
He is a GROWN man. Who should contribute.
Is he adding to your life overall? Or not?
You write:
"I feel that too much falls on me bills cooking cleaning k... (read in full...)
Practical joker or potential stalker
Q. Dear Cupid Does anyone have any experience of a married man who might try to cause havoc in a woman's life if she rejects his advances, and would this be just a case of spite or is evidence of some kind of stalking? I am single and have been talkin...
A. 1 March 2022: My advice?
CUT all contact, block the FIRE out of him. Lock down your social media so he has no access and do not accept requests from people you DO NOT know in "real life" - they could be either his "flying monkies" (aka people he ropes into spy... (read in full...)
Female friend / colleague blanks me outside of work
Q. A girl started working for me a couple of years ago and we hit it off instantly. We had a similar sense of humour and although she is a bit socially awkward (by her own admission), we just seemed to get each other and enjoyed each other's ...
A. 1 March 2022: "Everything you say about her setting boundaries makes sense, but when I try to respect them she acts like I'm the one being cold. What gives?"
She is probably playing games here. If she isn't getting your attention (too) she gets mad. She want... (read in full...)
Female porn star has taken a shine to me
Q. since I have broken up with my girlfriend, I’ve been feeling lonely and a bit lost of late. was on facebook the other day and came across this lady who is from los angles. she’s really beautiful and we immediately became friends on facebook. she ...
A. 26 February 2022: "she says that I’m the only person she has talked to."
Seriously? You really believe that?
It might not even be RUN by her. It can be some dude in a basement anywhere in the world, hoping you are dumb enough to fall for this.
Just wait, she ... (read in full...)
Female friend / colleague blanks me outside of work
Q. A girl started working for me a couple of years ago and we hit it off instantly. We had a similar sense of humour and although she is a bit socially awkward (by her own admission), we just seemed to get each other and enjoyed each other's ...
A. 26 February 2022: Maybe you need to put ALL this energy into your relationship and partner!
My guess is, she isn't sure if this texting and chatting and "getting even closer" is inappropriate for people who have a partner, so she will be friendly and chat at work ... (read in full...)
Happily married but attracted to the Zumba instructor
Q. Hi, so I'm in an uncomfortable situation because I'm married and I do love my husband very much, but I have developed a crush on someone else. My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and we still love each other so much. We have both ...
A. 24 February 2022:
If you feel like you are not able to NOT act on a crush or control your emotions/lust... Drop the class and find another instructor?
Life isn't easy all the time.
Remember that YOU are in charge of YOUR actions. YOUR choices. Things don... (read in full...)
My husband sees nothing wrong with prostitution
Q. Hubby and I were chatting. We watched a program and it featured a prostitute. I asked if he would condemn a woman for her past if she was a prostitute before he met her. He said no he would not. He said if it was in her past and she no longer does ...
A. 24 February 2022: Saying he wouldn't hold it against the woman doesn't mean he condones prostitution.
But I get what you mean. I dislike the term, "hate the game not the player".
"What should I think of my husband now that he’s told me this?"
You asked ... (read in full...)
How To Move Forward After a Toxic Relationship
Q. I think I may be trauma bonded to my ex and I am trying to get the heck over myself. How do I do this? This was a relationship that grew out of the pandemic and still feels so big to me. Everything I experienced in this was on another level. I wa...
A. 24 February 2022: Sounds like that person likes to play games with people. Mid-fu@k games.
You got PUNISHED with the "silent treatment" for not saying "I love you " back on demand. You didn't "play" the game. Because you didn't know it was a game.
It's OK to fe... (read in full...)
How To Move Forward After a Toxic Relationship
Q. I think I may be trauma bonded to my ex and I am trying to get the heck over myself. How do I do this? This was a relationship that grew out of the pandemic and still feels so big to me. Everything I experienced in this was on another level. I wa...
A. 23 February 2022: Gongrats on getting away from that person.
How to move on?
Well, for one KEEP the No Contact 100%. Perhaps even get a new phone number, lock down your social media to private, so that only people YOU are friends with can see it. If he met AN... (read in full...)
How do I extricate myself from this relationship without hurting feelings?
Q. So I have been with this guy for 5 months now, he is 32 and I am 25. We first met over tinder (yikes I know), we had a couple first dates it was lovely, he is funny and kind. It wasn't until the third date we slept together and since then we just ...
A. 23 February 2022: OP, it's TOTALLY OK to decide, this is not the right person for me.
He CAN be a nice person and not be "your" person longterm.
My advice? Let him know that you can't continue the relationship because you need to focus on your health.
Or yo... (read in full...)
I am 14 and want a dildo
Q. I have an ongoing issue. I am longing for a dildo, and I am only 14! I really want to ask my mom for one but don't know how to confront her about it. Am I too young? If not, how should I ask her?...
A. 22 February 2022: While I get that you are getting an influx of hormones and some of those are with regards to sexual appetite, I think you might want to slow your roll here.
A 14 year old does NOT need sex toys. You do not need to try and insert stuff in yourself... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship with my husband's parents right now
Q. My in laws made it a rule last year that I cannot come to their home, RV or Cabin without being vaccinated. His parents also said a lot of bad things about me in the past year very hurtful things. His parents didn’t want him to marry me. He moved an ...
A. 22 February 2022: "I am wrong for feeling this way? "
No.
You feel how you feel.
I have to ask though, HOW does your husband feel about all this? Do you not consider his feeling as all? Is it more important that you "snub" them back because they didn't/don'... (read in full...)
Am I too old to get a date
Q. Am I too old at 86 to get a date on site...
A. 22 February 2022: There probably are some senior dating sites. Maybe that is something to consider?... (read in full...)
I love my ex but also my so
Q. So I have been with my s/o for almost 10 years this May. I love him. I have a daughter with him, I have built a life with him. I met him when I was 15 years old. When I was in middle school - 9th grade I was on and off with a boyfriend. He was...
A. 22 February 2022: What do you need to do?
You need to wake up, OP
The fantasy of who your first BF COULD have become is just that FANTASY. The guy's been to prison. YOU could have been the partner of this felon and guess what? That "love" would have died fast a... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents?
Q. When I was 21 years old, I got my girlfriend, Beth, pregnant. We decided to put the baby girl up for adoption since neither one of us was ready to be parents. We did an open adoption. Stephanie (my biological daughter's name) is 16 years old. Sh...
A. 22 February 2022: Just tell them.
You did what you and Beth thought would be BEST for the child. There is no shame in that. There is no shame in NOT being able to raise a child.
I agree you should have told them a long time ago, but that is kind of moot now, isn... (read in full...)
Should I set my dad up with one of my friends?
Q. One of my girl friends has fancied my Dad forever even when he was married hence making my Mom jealous. Now my Moms passed should I set them up? If so then how? ;-) ...
A. 21 February 2022: When weather permits host a BBQ, invite both and some other family and friends, let "nature" take its course.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the Covid vaccine
Q. I'm so scared, as my partner and parents have taken the vaccine. I wondered if anyone has had any luck convincing loved ones not to get boosters? If so, I would love to know how you were able to do that? I'm so scared of losing everyone I l...
A. 19 February 2022: I think you are going to have to trust that people will do what is best FOR them. That includes vaccines or boosters.
My 3 kids (17 and up) have all chosen to get the vaccine. None have gotten the boosters. My husband and I have not gotten t... (read in full...)
Should I set my dad up with one of my friends?
Q. One of my girl friends has fancied my Dad forever even when he was married hence making my Mom jealous. Now my Moms passed should I set them up? If so then how? ;-) ...
A. 19 February 2022: How long ago did your mom pass?
Has your dad mentioned dating again?
Have you ASKED your dad how he is doing with the loss of your mom?
Don't try and set them up.
Your dad is a WHOLE grown man and can find a date (when he is ready to... (read in full...)
My partner blames me for ruining his 30 year friendship
Q. Got a problem and could use some objective advice. I am in a long term relationship. My partner and I broke up about 3 years ago. I was feeling torn apart and upset after the break up and I became vindictive as a result. I cannot say I am proud of ...
A. 19 February 2022: " He blames me solely for the demise of that friendship but is that fair? "
Yes. It was ALL you. Own it. Stop making excuses.
However, Larry also decided to retaliate with anger towards you (which I totally understand, you might have felt ... (read in full...)
My wife is pregnant by another man
Q. I have a problem with my wife I do not know how to deal with. We have a happy open relationship with one child, we have been married six years and my wife has an African American boyfriend. She recently told me she is pregnant I know the baby i...
A. 18 February 2022: Well, in most states in the US you will be "presumed" the father and legally and financially responsible for your wife's child ren even if you didn't father them.
Have you asked her how she will explain to the "BF" and later to the child?
And ... (read in full...)
The barmaid has accused me of harassment
Q. I normally like to go down to a working mens club and play snooker with some of the members, sometimes they want to play other times they do not or can’t be bothered. anyway I’ll try not to make this long and try to make it sound as though it makes...
A. 18 February 2022: I think FA is right.
Also, since you are in the UK don't they have CCTV all over? Especially at a club? as FA pointed out, you can't prove a negative. So what would your complaint do?
... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he seriously likes me or not
Q. almost a month ago I met a guy at this bar and he ended up coming home with me, however, we just hooked up no sex. The next morning I woke up to his alarm and him cuddling me, even pulling me closer each time it went off and I took nothing from ...
A. 18 February 2022: Hi OP,
How about NEXT time you talk you suggest HE takes you out on an actual date?
I don't see how you can really get to know someone if all you do is hooking up.
Also, a guy who doesn't talk to you much but ASKS you over the SAME night ... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 18 February 2022: Hey Anon,
I hope you get your surgery soon. I had a hysterectomy 4 year ago it made a huge difference. For one, I am no longer anemic and fatigued 24/7. The hormone patches are itchy and annoying but better than before.
I hope you find a docto... (read in full...)
Keen to hear your take on my weirdo neighbors!
Q. For anyone with an interest in psychology/human behavior, I'd LOVE to hear your opinions. I'm a sensitive person and usually have a pretty good gut instinct bout people. My new neighbors, a married 50's couple, put my stomach in knots! Firstl...
A. 17 February 2022:
"I'm always wracking my brains to try and figure out why they have a problem with me."
I don't think it's you, I think it's them. Or you were trying a little too hard to be the "nice neighbor" and it feel a bit much for them. Or they think y... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 16 February 2022: *hugs*... (read in full...)
Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.
Q. Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...
A. 16 February 2022: Savage FA .... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't very considerate toward me
Q. *I want to apologise for the length of this post, but details are needed to explain the situation as best as possible* I have been dating my boyfriend for exactly two years and it has been a generally happy relationship. Despite the fact we got ...
A. 16 February 2022: I think you either need to lower your expectations A LOT or you need to consider whether or not he is actually compatible with you long term.
The fact that he wanted YOU to go to a hotel room while HE was going to stay at some "new friend's... (read in full...)
Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.
Q. Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...
A. 15 February 2022: You call him a "narcissist, manipulator & gas lighter."
So why stay?
STOP doing his homework, I mean WTF?! it's HIS responsibility and HIS job to do his own darn homework".
Secondly, he cheated on you and you retaliated by not only c... (read in full...)
Do I still love him? Should we be together?
Q. I love my boyfriend but lately things have been weird. I lived here in OREGON for a year and we met and fell in love. A love I’ve never ever had before. I moved to Washington in the summer and we said we’d be single but couldn’t leave each other so ...
A. 14 February 2022: OP,
It seems this LDR is not really working out. You need to focus on YOURSELF and your baby onboard. Work on being independent financially (if you are not right now) and create a stable environment for your child.
He seems to like the fantasy... (read in full...)
Could this work for me and the new man?
Q. When I was 20 I met my husband, he was 26, extremely popular, in the army and I was amazed that he was even interested in me. We started dating and things moved very quickly. We got engaged after three months of dating and eloped a few days lat...
A. 14 February 2022: Could it work for you and new guy?
Maybe. Or should I say it could work as a way for you to get the HECK away from your husband asap. But I would get the divorce first and NOT monkey branch into a new relationship until YOU are ACTUALLY out of t... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 14 February 2022: Congrats OP!
best of luck for the future!... (read in full...)
Fwb with my exs brother
Q. Hi dear Cupid readers, I'm in somewhat of a messy situation and really need some advice, the hard part is where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning, so it started out that my on/off boyfriend and I were to move in with his brother as the ...
A. 12 February 2022: |I will echo the Anon poster|
"You want a lot more than just fwb. And it looks as if brother of ex just wants to use you for convenient sex."
100% this.
Also, you know this is messed up. You know this is NOT going to work out into some great... (read in full...)
Should I sue the work colleague for libel and the company for siding with his lies?
Q. due to lies and malicious gossip, I’m being investigated by work, all because I supposedly sent messages to follow female work colleagues which is simply not true. I have put this down to prejudice, as I have been single out by a single somebody in ...
A. 12 February 2022: Do you have proof that this guy said all this?
Call Citizen's advice and see if you can get some actual LEGAL advice on what to do. Libel can be hard to prosecute and hard to prove. As it means someone smearing your name and hindering you to make ... (read in full...)
I gave my homeless boyfriend my car to sleep in but now hes got some girl staying in it too. Do I take my car back?
Q. Im having a hard time with my bf whom is homeless at the time.he was living w me at my mothers but he wasnt trying to better himself to better our relationship .which upset my mother i was not willing to put myself out in the streets nd i did wat i ...
A. 12 February 2022: Well, spring is around the corner, tell him you want your car back by End of Feb or March - so he has 30-60 days to find a shelter or another place to stay.
Also, why do you call him your BF? When he is shacking up with someone else?
I think... (read in full...)
I have a good guy but I think I want out of the relationship
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, my partner is good in a lot of ways. However I'm starting to feel like I want out of the relationship. I was a single mother before I met him and had reached a good level of independence. I feel in the relation...
A. 12 February 2022: OP,
You KNOW what you want and what you don't want. You want to be single and you DO NOT want him to take control of your life like he is trying to do.
Break it off and DO your own thing with your child.
He can be a good guy, a GREAT guy ev... (read in full...)
Why is my ex saying we did not have sex when I know we did
Q. I split up with my partner last year for a few months and despite messaging him he never responded. Fast forward I had a few drinks and actually don't remember leaving the pub I was in but I walked to his pub and all I can remember was standing in ...
A. 12 February 2022: I'm with YCNBS
"I am totally puzzled. Why are you ASKING him IF you had sex if you say you know you did?"
If you know you had sex, then you had sex.
He might deny it because he knows that YOU were TOO drunk to really consent. Or it was "bad"... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriends ex cross the line or am I overreacting?
Q. So my boyfriend’s ex keeps asking too many personal questions about our sex life, and it’s starting to bother me but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Like one example is that she wants to know if he’s still a virgin, to which I responded, “I’m not ...
A. 12 February 2022: Well, at least your BF is on the same page as you.
I would still say, block her if you feel like it, you don't have to pretend to be her "friend" as she is definitely NOT wanting to be your friend.... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriends ex cross the line or am I overreacting?
Q. So my boyfriend’s ex keeps asking too many personal questions about our sex life, and it’s starting to bother me but I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Like one example is that she wants to know if he’s still a virgin, to which I responded, “I’m not ...
A. 10 February 2022: I agree with Kenny,
It IS NONE of her business.
I also think you need to talk to your BF about this girl and whether it's appropriate for her to dig around in his life, which SHE is no longer a part of.
Why are YOU talking to her?
Is sh... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 2 January 2022: Just let it take its natural cause.
When you get back and you both are testing negative for Covid then meet up and talk.
I'd hold back on asking him what question he has, LET him ask when HE is ready.
You want to know NOW. I get that but... (read in full...)
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