A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem with my wife I do not know how to deal with. We have a happy open relationship with one child, we have been married six years and my wife has an African American boyfriend. She recently told me she is pregnant I know the baby is not mine. She wants to keep the baby and even have more I do not what to do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, !!anonyma!! +, writes (17 March 2022):
 Do you even know what marriage is? Marriage is totally not a open relationship. You should let her go and she should too because you are already not for each other. She can't just keep you from having a great life and a partner who can be only yours and not just go around and have sex with others and even children. You should get a divorce...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2022): Have you considered the fact that she said she want more kids though i am incline to believe she wants more with the boyfriend.Why did you get married if you knew she want an open relationship. Open relationship are not meant for marriage they just don't match because of alot of complications.As your question i believe she is more passionate about this guy to be able to get pregnant and want to keep it though mistakes happen but this situation i would advice you to divorce and let her get together with her baby daddy
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2022): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have had several conversations since she discovered she is pregnant my tells me she is just going through a phase. She tells me the sex is incredible with him but wants to be with me. I told her she can see for the sex but no more babies and she agreed.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2022): You have an open-marriage; so this is not a really a problem, it's a consequence.
It's probably economically-advantageous to remain married; meanwhile, she has a more committed-relationship with another man. They are starting a family, and you're contributing financially to maintain their relationship. She keeps the baby, that isn't yours; while he can keep milking the cow without paying for the milk. This is an analogy, I'm not calling your wife a cow. In essence this is a threesome, and you really have no room for any complaint. This was an all-out sanctioned polyamourous-relationship, or ménage a trois. Call it whatever you want. You get to do whomever you want, and she gets to do whomever she wants. Now baby makes four! It's the side-effect likely to occur from repeated sexual-intercourse.
In any case, the baby is either a welcomed-addition, or a casualty; having no fault, but vulnerable to a whole lot of drama.
Now is the time to decide. Do you want to continue pretending you're married, or get a divorce? Let her be with the man she seems actually committed to. They are now bound for life by a child together; and there is the probability you'll get edged-out in the end.
Seek legal advice at once!
Are you prepared to raise a bi-racial child as your own, if the biological-father chucks all responsibility? Will you love the child unconditionally? Will you harbor resentment for the child? These are all "yes" or "no" answers. There is no room for "maybe" when a child is involved.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2022): Your marriage is proof positive that NO open relationship can be HAPPY. Way too many complications could arise. Like the one you are experiencing now. Add to that unwanted sexually transmitted diseases, the lovers being better in bed than you, your partner leaving you for a better lover, falling in love with someone else. Who the hell needs that bullshit?Have you no shame? Has your wife no shame? Your name is on the marriage certificate. So is hers. A baby by another man is not your responsibility. She broke the marriage contract, even if you both agreed it was open. By law, she committed adultery (as have you). Therefore this is grounds for divorce. You are not responsible for supporting her lover's child. And if you did, you would be weak OP. Letting your wife do whatever to you and you will just take it. I am sure another man fathering her child was not part of your agenda. Now it is up to you to decide if you want to still be married to her. As far as I am concerned, having sex with other people is unacceptable in a marriage. If you wanted an open relationship, you should not have bothered to get married.
...............................
A
female
reader, ConfusedCarrie84  +, writes (18 February 2022):
Why get married if you chose to bring third parties into this relationship? You are making marriage a joke. This is what happens when you allow other men to sleep with your wife.
You'll have to take responsibility of this situation because you are partly to blame.
End the marriage and move on and take care of the child that is yours. If your wife is expecting you to financially help raise this child then that is insane.
...............................
A
male
reader, Anon21  +, writes (18 February 2022):
Hi OPDid you and your wife not discuss the possibility of your wife having someone else's baby, as no birth control is 100 percent effective.The other possibility is that your wife got pregnant to her lover on purpose. You need to have an open and honest discussion with your wife to see if your wife wants to have children with her future lovers and if she is planning to have children with you.Now there is someone else's baby in the mix you need to think about what you want and where you want your marriage to go, and if you are willing to accept someone else's baby as your own. You need to determine if your wife wants to cuckhold you. Talk to your wife and determine were both of you what your marriage to go. In the long term open marriages probably will not last and yours is heading for divorce. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2022): Your post is a contradiction. It is not a happy open relationship if you are jealous she is now pregnant with another man's child. So you need to decide - are you happy to help bring this child up, or do you actually want a monogamous relationship (with someone else).
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (18 February 2022):
 I never really wanted to go into the outcomes of what happens when you bring a third party into the equation, you just have to look over previous posts to find out that.
Having an open marriage is one thing, but if a spouse becomes pregnant by someone else that is another level altogether.
So she is pregnant with someone else, and she says that she wants more, which i am assuming she means with him and not you.
If she wants more children wit him, maybe she is planning on running away with him and starting a life with him. If she does not it all boils down to would you be ok with having a relationship so open that you are on the outside watching your wife have kids with someone else.
I fail to see how many, if any men would be ok with this. In my opinion i would maybe start doing some work behind the scenes maybe seek some legal advice and see what your rights are.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2022): I would expect that you will only be less of a factor going forward, as she will naturally gravitate to the father of her child, who she now has a bond with beyond registration. I hate that for you. Even if she doesn't change, maybe the kid's father will eventually not be ok with her being with another man (you), and you get shown the door then. I think you should plan for that now, because it is the most likely outcome. I don't know about the legality of your responsibilities to the child, consult an attorney in family law. If you don't care who the father is, and you're not leaving, then I guess why is it even a topic of discussion? I think it is an issue, and so you need to seek some legal counsel for next steps to inform and protect your own interests. Doesn't sound like she is your advocate anymore. Best of luck to you
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 February 2022):
 Well, in most states in the US you will be "presumed" the father and legally and financially responsible for your wife's child ren even if you didn't father them.
Have you asked her how she will explain to the "BF" and later to the child?
And if this is such a "happy open marriage" why are you now questioning this?
...............................
|
