A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been having a little more than a few problems of late and to cut a long story short, Last night for the first time ever in my 2 yr relationship I said to my b/f that I was not feeling very sexual as I was so tired and had not slept in a few nights, He took it that if I dont find him attractive anymore we have a problem.This was the first time and Im not to well, we have sex almost everynight sometimes more than once, I think it was a real shock to him but it has nothing to do with no longer finding him attractive and I now have an added problem to deal with any suggestions as how I can reasure him thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): I love the responses of Waterloo Sunset and Mandy7. If all British women are as cool as these two, I'm almost sorry that we won back in 1776 ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): I back Uncle Phil with this one. Sex every day! wowee! and more than once per day!! Yahoo. He will have to accept how you feel, you are not a sex machine. The fact that we all do not have sex every minute of the day doesnt mean we fancy them any less. Just assure him that you love him and you are tired, i'm not surprised!
take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Hi Hun,
This is strange as the very same happened to me not to long ago and I think the reason its such a shock love is that its the norm. Im not laughing at you but I am laughing at the situation as I told my fiance that he had his right hand!!! I was so tired and pissed off, He looked at me as if I was mad, Its because of the rejection he was quite figgety most of the night, Bless him!
I spoke to him when I was feeling better and he did say how would you feel if I said im not in the mood,(RELIEVED !!!! DID POP IN MY HEAD..JOKE!!!) Plus ive been ill before and not said no and I have said on occation that I could be on my death bed and I would still want sex, Maybe he thought I was on my way out, But I realised that because we had a very active sex life that it must have been unusual to him, so I can understand..He felt rejected big time....But he is not the type to worry to much and I laugh to much when I think about it as thats my sense of humour. The guys are all right in what they say ( And a tad jel if you ask me.... Only joking guys!!!!
Darling just get yourself all sexed up and grab him and do what you obviously do very well... I promise you he will forget the day of no sex, Its just cause we are sooo good at our age prime of life hunny the 40s are the new 20s apparently so I heard on the radio...YOU TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 I don't think he has much to complain about. I've been married for 22 years and I went through a period where I felt unwanted. We often take each other for granted because we know our partners are not leaving. If you had said you didn't have sex often, he would have a valid point. you[re alrready way above the norm.
It's very important to always make sure a partner feels desired. Quite often, normally, it's the female that is less interested in sex. A man starts to feel rrejected because the woman has all the power. She has what he needs/wants and she determins what and when he'll get it. It's like working outside in the hot sun all day but you only get a drink when the boss in the air conditioned office gets thirsty. Eventually you resent the boss.
Having said all this, it sounds like this doesn't apply to you. He needs to stop whining about this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): As long as this doesn't go on for more than a few days, he will probably get over it and be fine once he gets sex again. I have had these periods of feeling rejected at times and feeling like my wife didn't like sex with me. Of course, it was after more than 10 years together before I first had those feelings. As soon as we had sex, I would be fine again. If he is happy the next time you have sex, then talk to him then. He will be in a good mood. Explain why you didn't want to and tell him that there will be days when you are tired or just not in the mood. Since my wife and I finally talked about it we are both fine if one of us is tired.
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Two years together and this is the first time it has come up? You need to talk to him and explain to him how you felt that night. Tell him that you were just tired and you are very much attracted to him. He cant possibly expect that you will have sex with him every single day and if you dont, he thinks there is something wrong? Usually problems come up when people find themselves not having sex for weeks or months. One day? No big deal.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Okay first off you're having sex with him every night. Am I hearing that right? What the hell is he complaining about if you miss one night? It’s obvious that you have him trained like a dog to expect sex every night, so yeah if you miss a night this one time it’s the end of the world for him. That’s what sex does to a guy. Trust me girl, chalk this up as temporary insanity, and get back in bed with him. Tomorrow he'll forget all about the ONE night he couldn’t get it on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): Sex every night at your age? Strewth, no wonder you're tired!
He's been spoilt, and that's a fact! I think him alleging that you don't fancy him any more is nothing less than emotional blackmail. Tell him he's a lucky boy to get his leg over as often as he does and to be thankful for that. If you don't feel like it you're perfectly entitled to say so. When a woman says no that's it. No question.
He'll just have to get over it, turn over and go to sleep, or disappear into the bathroom with a copy of Playboy for ten minutes..
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): well, defiantly talk to him about it; and say that you still find him attractive; just tell him that you wern't feeling well...and if he can't understand that then that's his problem not yours..and obviously all he cares about is the sex. and maybe the next time you do have sex maybe kind of make it up to him; just to let him know you still care about him, and that it didn't have anything to do with him. Hopefully that helps at least a little.
Good Luck!
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