A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have always had quite a low sex drive, my boyfriend, like most men, has quite a high sex drive. I'd like to have sex more, the thing is, I don't look forward to it but once I get into it I really enjoy it.My boyfriend is a very giving lover, he always makes sure I have an orgasm. How can I make my libido increase?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (21 November 2007):
 This is a very, very common problem. If you are the one with the low drive, it's up to you to fix it. It's like exercise, you just have to do it. Try to get yourself in the mood. Read something sexy, stray from the regular path a little and go out on a limb. Be sexy.
It will eventually drive a wedge between you and your mate if he feels he's always bothering you for sex. He will feel unwanted or undesired. Sometimes that is when people stray because others are making them feel desired. Men ans women need to feel wanted.
If your partner has a regular sex drive and is not a maniac, it's i your best interest to try and meets his/ her needs. IF you believe sex is a good thing and it is enjoyable, then just do it. If you don't make the effort, you'll pay the price later.
It's very difficult for men to understand why a woman would turn down sex for no apparent reason. It feels good and we used to do it all the time....why not now? For a guy, any time is a good time and really, it's true. Sex is something two people can share, enjoy and develop. It's fun, free and worth the mental investment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): My wife is much like you. She doesn't look forward to sex unless we have been talking about it, like me telling her what I am going to do to her this evening. However, when I want it, she gets in the mood in a few minutes and wants sex bad and loves it and has great orgasms. I am also like your boyfriend, as I make sure she has at least one orgasm almost every time. The only complaint that I have had about her in the 28 years that we have been together is that she is not more aggressive. I can't complain and I doubt that your boyfriend does either.
Has he tried to talk you in a dirty manner earlier in the evening. We like to talk about sex over a nice dinner, either in a restaurant or at home. I talk dirty to her and she is so excited when we get home. Sometimes she is wet before I even touch her. If your only fault is that you don't have the desire to initiate sex, but are ready when he initiates it, then I wouldn't complain. We are over 60 and she is still the same and we sometimes do it 7 days a week. What is there to complain about for the man :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): Maybe it's something to do with your testosterone level, which you can't do very much about. You are what you are.
However, have you tried getting him to give you a warmed-up baby oil massage? Stick the bottle in the sink and float it in hot waterfor a while until it's warm. Put a bath towel on the bed to soak up the surplus. Apply liberally and slide around each other, but keep it well away from his todger and your box otherwise you won't feel much.
I pretty much guarantee you'll be gagging for one another inside ten minutes, and you'll be asking him when you can do it again.
Phil
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A
female
reader, calamitysil +, writes (21 November 2007):
 The best sex is what goes on between your ears as well as your legs! You need to think about what turns you on, and use a bit of fantasy. Read a sexy novel, imagine your partner playing the main role. Wear clothes that make you feel sexy. Get him to massage you. Prepare the setting...candles, phone off the hook, a lovely meal, cuddle up to him. The more you do it the more you'll want it. Obviously all this will only work if the pair of you love and want each other..........
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