A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I think that my sister is not my whole sister. I mean we were raised thinking that we were from both of our parents. We are exactly one year and a few days apart. She is older. Anyways, our whole lives people asked us if we were even sisters because we look absolutely nothing alike. The thing is that I look like both my dad and my mom. And she looks like my mom, but NOTHING like my dad. Her face is the spitting image of my mom's face. Only thing is that my mom has brown hair, brown eyes and dark skin. But my sister has platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. And my dad has blue eyes and brown hair but nobody in his family or in my mom's family has blonde hair like my sister's. Where did my sister get her blonde hair?? NOBODY in either family has blonde hair like my sister's. And my sister's blue eyes are not even the same color blue as my dad's blue. And why does my sister look NOTHING like my father?? As I got older this all hit me. It is weird when your whole life people ask if we are related or think we are just friends. Most people are shocked to hear we are sisters. One time I asked my mom (semi-jokingly) if my sister was the product of an affair. And she started giggling. Everytime my mom gets nervous or is lying she laughs or giggles. I brought it up to my dad infront of my sister (again "jokingly") and he had no idea. I guess it had never crossed his mind. I would hate both my parents forever if I find out that my sis is from a different father. I would hate my mom for being such a hypocrite. And I would hate my dad for being such a fool. I know this is something I shouldn't even bring up and maybe I am crazy to be thinking. Ever since it first occurred to me I just can't get it out of my head. And I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, especially not my sister's, but I am so curious. At the same time I don't want to know cause that would ruin my life.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, keep it real +, writes (14 December 2007):
I am on your side for wanting to know.Although most people would avoid facing this kind of difficult question they are not you so they can't make that decision nor could they judge you since it doesn't in the end affect their future.My sister and I also do not look alike.The major difference between us being that her nose is turned up in a way that is soooooo different from both my mother and fathers entire family that I can with 89% confidence match it with a mans nose in my moms photographs of her ex-boyfreinds.Imagine if you will what I feel like now my dad is passed away and can't discuss why he kept only my toys from childhood,my letters and treated my sister badly her whole life.My sister and I are like day and night in our personalities.My mom was pregnant when she married my dad???Back then a woman just had to point at a man who she slept with and say he did it.Now there is paternity tests Is it too late to know????Would you be sorry if you never could find out???What if you had another dad would you want to know him?What if you had an entire other family and your mother kept them from you.There has to be something of a right for you to know where you came from.Your sister may thank you for opening that can of worms.Who says finding your REAL relatives is a can of worms???relatives are not worms!!!!!!What if diabetes prevention was a reason or alzheimers or huntingtons disease runs in your sisters real family tree???YOU COULD SAVE HER LIFE
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): hi me and my sister have the same problem shes short i am tall shes darker i am fairer my mums always saying we are the same.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 November 2007):
 If this is so important to you, and is worth the risk of hurting three people close to you, then get a DNA sample from both your Dad and sister and send it to a lab to be analysed. It cost a lot but you are desperate to know, right? Look up paternity testing facilities in your vicinity, they can tell you what they need and how much it's going to cost to satisfy your burning curiosity. I wish I could say good luck but I truly think either you'll be out a chunk of dough or you'll be hurting those you supposedly love.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): And another thing - look at Prince William, who is the spitting image of his mother, and Prince Harry, who is not! And where did he get his ginger hair? Neither his mother or father have ginger hair.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): If you want some input about hair colour, I don't have any doubts whatsoever that my son is the fruit of my loins.
Up until he was about 12 years of age his hair was so blonde it was almost white, and he was always known as 'snowy' because of it.
My hair (then - now sadly lacking) was fair, the same as his mother's, and no-one in either of our families had ever previously had hair so light in colour.
My (blonde) partner's daughter has Titian (what you might call ginger) hair. No-one either on her mother's or father's side has, to our knowledge, ever had ginger hair, although there were a few blondes of various hues.
Phil
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Hey everybody. I posted the question. I can't say thank you because every response seems like a reiteration of the last response which wasn't at all helpful. "why are you opening a can of worms" "why are you digging in the past" "why do you want to know." Do you guys just read other people's responses and answer in accordance to how other's responded?? Cause if so, that's lame. Be original.
So like 3 of you asked why I am asking this question. Because I want to know. I think that is reason enough. And if that is all you want to know then you shouldn't have answered at all.
And the only one who wrote something fairly helpful was uncle phil who mentioned that he has a different eye color to both his parents. Maybe I just wanted to hear somebody say that it is possible for my sister to have blonde hair even though my parents don't have blonde hair.
Gosh but you guys are like puppets who let your opinions be dictated by other opinions. So lame.
...............................
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 hey,
what is the purpos of doing this? sometimes it is better not knowing the truth!
because if something ever happened and it turned out that you are right, you would hurt your sister for sure( and that is something you say hat you don't want)!
why do you want to know anyways??just to bring more problems into your life! because if you need any problems ,come to me i can give you many!but leave your family life happy( don't ruin it).nothing good can come from this!
byeXXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Of course, there's always the possibility that you were adopted. Adoption agencies try to 'match' the features of children to their adoptive parents. Maybe you're the odd one out. Eye colour isn't necessarily hereditary either. I've got blue eyes but neither of my parents have.
Phil
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): You are digging into a past that is not yours. Your inquiries can light up a tremendous scandal, and can make your sister feel miserable, with her identity put under question marks. You don't have the right to do this, to satisfy your curiosity. Some people choose to live a lie, who are you to change this? Or maybe they've talked honestly from the beginning and they've reached this agreement, to protect you both. Maybe your mother has been seeing somebody else during a break of theirs. Playing the secret police now can be very destructive for the family. I wouldn't recommend that. Don't judge your parents, you don't have all their reasons on the table. And frankly you probably think in an idealistic manner. When a mother wants to protect her children of different fathers she will often be tempted to "transfer" paternity to simply create the illusion of [undividedness.] OF COURSE, this is best done with the step-father's awareness and consent. How do you know your father didn't know? And why creating this stress now, in case he doesn't? Are you unhappy with how they've been treating you or how they've provided for you as parents, not necessarily financially but also supporting you morally? This is what matters, in other respects I recommend you to let them solve their own business. Peace.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Wow ! Are you ever opening a can of worms. You say you don't want to hurt any feelings. Hmmmmm, what is your point then? Your curiosity is more important than everything else. Your reasons for looking into this are not even valid. Leave this alone, you're evidence is very, very flimsy.
...............................
|
