Like what
he writes?
... Add *irtball to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
_____________________________________________
Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
_____________________________________________
I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
____________________________________________
This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
____________________________________________
Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
____________________________________________
Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
|
| Latest articles: The Curse of Over Thought
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 March 2011: The curse of over thought. I think many of us suffer from this curse. Some people may call it a blessing, but I tend to consider it a mixed bag. On one hand it can help lead people to some tremendous insights, on the other it can lead them do...
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
This question has 40 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 February 2011: I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
Why did you even ask?
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 January 2011: What brought you to Dear Cupid? Most likely it's because of some problem in your life or relationship. That's how most of us stumbled upon this place. You came here hoping that these anon people on the internet could offer you some insight into ...
Tis the season...
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 December 2010: Hello Everyone. Here at Dear Cupid we receive many requests for help. Some are serious relationship problems, others aren't quite so serious. One such question is "What should I get my significant other for Christmas?" I intend to give you some ...
What ever happened to communication?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 November 2010: Having been here for a while now, I see consistancy in many of the problems people who come here face. One major problem, although it isn't usually the one that brought them here, is communication. Communication is usually the underlying problem ...
Paralyzed by not knowing
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 October 2010: After reading a string of questions today I started really thinking about the topic of: "do they like me back?" It happens a lot. We develop a crush on someone. We think about them a lot. We read into every little thing they do or say. We ...
Thoughts on technology and long distance relationships
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 September 2010: It never fails to amaze me how many questions I see on here about long distance relationships (LDR's). I will admit, I understand the temptation. I've been there. I've tried it. I've concluded that they don't work. Still, what is it about these ...
|
Penis size insecurities......
Q. OK, so we've seen the barrage of penis size questions. Got me so curious I decided to actually measure mine. What I encountered was that it may be impossible to get an accurate measurement because there are probably 13 ways to measure it. I know ...
A. 2 May 2011: FWIW, Pirate (sorry, I know you're anon, but on the landing page it says who wrote this article so you might as well stop being anon in any further follow ups), I didn't misinterpret what you wrote. I just think it's silly to break out the ruler ... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 28 April 2011: "Are you talking about squirting though dirtball?" The girl I referenced, no. However when she came, it was similar in volume to my own, and I swallowed it plenty of times. It was definitely different than just normal "wetness" as well.... (read in full...)
I am feeling devastated by the Tornado in Alabama. Can people please just keep us in their thoughts?
Q. I am feeling devastated by the Tornado in Alabama. We got completely leveled today by the tornadoes. Just asking for people's thoughts and prayers for the state of Alabama. Lots of people lost their homes too, and their lives. just please keep us i...
A. 28 April 2011: I wish you the best! It's tragic what happened. Hopefully people are able to get the help they need.... (read in full...)
Why did he hurt me like that? I thought he loved me!
Q. Why would he wanna hurt me so bad? it really hurts:(? My ex boyfriend had a one night stand with a girl at a party and was sleeping with another for 2months all the while I was with him. I loved him so much, was a good girlfriend to him, I ...
A. 28 April 2011: Because he was a jerk. Not all men will do that, but his words were lies. If he really loved you, he would not have done what he did. You reminding him of that is why he's grown to hate you. I'd venture he never really liked you that much to ... (read in full...)
G/f dumps me every year on my birthday!
Q. im 26 tomorrow and have never felt so alone and unloved im an extreamly caring person and have a big hart i would say im attractive stocky in build blue eyyes dark hair around 6ft. My ex finished me 2days ago for the 3rd time 3 years on the tro...
A. 28 April 2011: This pattern will continue as long as you let it, and it will keep getting worse for you each time. The truth is, she doesn't love you, and never really has. I also doubt the baby is yours, unless you actually did a paternity test. Really, she's ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has been unemployed for 3 years and its getting to me!
Q. hi everyone so heres the thing my bf of 3 years is unemployed hes been like this for 3 years since weve been going out . is it wrong that its getting to me now as i have to pay for things and he constantly beg money from me for ciggerets and when...
A. 28 April 2011: Yes, you're wasting your time and money with him. It's not horrible, this guy is a mooch! Borrow money for cigarettes... Give me a fucking break! I realize the economy is bad, but he sounds like he isn't even trying. It's one thing to leave ... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from feeling like this?
Q. Hi I've asked a lot of questions about this problem before and received a lot of kind words and helpful advice so I'm back again. To cut a very long story short, about a year and a half ago my male best friend broke up with his girlfriend, we...
A. 28 April 2011: Does he ever reach out when you cut contact? If not, then it's clear he is definitely not interested. I know this doesn't change how you feel, but it is something to keep in mind.
Aside from cutting contact, the only other thing I've found th... (read in full...)
He slept with someone while we were on a break, how do I get over this?
Q. cutting a long story short, my boyfriend broke up with me in a pretty shitty way last June. I was heartbroken, We spoke and sometimes we were going to sort things and sometimes we weren't, sometimes he was falling at my feet and the other he would ...
A. 28 April 2011: This will not heal without effort from BOTH of you. "I'm sorry" isn't effort, it's an apology.
Like moinonplus said, you did not "cause" him to do this. He did this of his own free will. You need to stop blaming yourself for somethin... (read in full...)
Long distance and sex toys, will a vibrator keep me 'loose'?.
Q. hey Cupids. Basically I lost my virginity and I am now in a long distance relationship. I won't be seeing my guy for some time now. Would getting a vibrator help me from getting tight again and if so what would the best type of vibrator ...
A. 28 April 2011: Since when was being tight a bad thing?
... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to need my attention more, not the other way round!
Q. i love my boyfriends's attention and he loves mine too, i give him a lot of attention, he does too. but sometimes he doesn't at all and i feel lonely. I want to get over this and be independent. I want him to be needing my attention more, ...
A. 28 April 2011: Could these feelings have anything to do with this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-wanted-to-become-celibate-but-my-boyfriend.html
If you can manage to be more independent, he will likely start longing for more attention from you. Don't pl... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he will love me more once I give birth to his kids! What does he mean by this?
Q. Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we both 21 and he said he wanted to marry me and i would love that too. One day he said to me if you give birth to my kids you will be loved more, what did he mean, does it mean his love for me is on a ...
A. 28 April 2011: Why get so worried about hypotheticals?
Does it means he loves you less now? Well, technically if he said "I will love you more after you give birth to our children," then yes. It means he loves you less now than he will at that time. Really ... (read in full...)
I love my therapist and she's helped me so much, but my wife is jealous
Q. Hi. Hope I can clarify my feeling. I have been in therapy with a lovely women therapist who I had almost immediate connection. I was very vulnerable and so taken by her honesty and style and her insights. My marriage has always been pretty ...
A. 28 April 2011: Honestly, I think your therapist should have referred you to someone else when you professed your love for her. Even though it's common, it's also not really entirely professional for her to continue seeing you with that in the background.
Like ... (read in full...)
A man at work flirts with me and I don't know what to make of it
Q. Hey guys , I'm starting to really like this guy that I work with , the thing is I'm not sure if he's interested in me ..lately we have been talkIng heaps , just random stuff and flirting ... He always says "oh "look there's ya bf " even though ...
A. 28 April 2011: Yeah, sounds like he's both interested and juvanile. The way he flirts is common in middle school... Whatever works for him I guess.
Are you interested? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he will love me more once I give birth to his kids! What does he mean by this?
Q. Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years we both 21 and he said he wanted to marry me and i would love that too. One day he said to me if you give birth to my kids you will be loved more, what did he mean, does it mean his love for me is on a ...
A. 28 April 2011: To me, it sounds like he wants a family with you. It's possible that he meant that more love would be coming from him, or perhaps he was referring to your children giving you love.
Honestly, your best bet is to ask HIM what he meant. ... (read in full...)
Vacation Love
Q. First of all, it´s not a question, but just a comment about my situation, althought I accept comments... I´m Brazilian and I had been in South Africa in 2009 to study English for a few weeks. There, I met a guy and we became special friends....
A. 28 April 2011: Your heart is telling you the truth about your emotions. It wasn't "just a good time" to you. It was more. Now you're going to have to go through the grieving process about this short term relationship. You'll heal with time, but admitting the ... (read in full...)
Is this the beginning of the end?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 10 happy months. We are in a committed long-distance relationship currently and we get along very well. However, I'm concerned with the amount of time he spends "pleasuring himself." Since we are so far away and ...
A. 28 April 2011: Oh man, lots of issues, and none that will be resolved without talking it out.
I'm sorry to say, but he's watching porn. His line is classic, but the truth is that he's using it, and has been all along. That doesn't mean he doesn't find you... (read in full...)
Should I really consider having a fling with an unhappily-married woman?
Q. I am having a real struggle with my conscience and really need some advice. I have been single for over a year after a break up of a 10-yr relationship. I have found dating hard because I don't want kids. Anyway, last weekend, I met someone who ...
A. 28 April 2011: Do you really want to help her cheat on her husband and possibly ruin her family?
The truth is, you know this shouldn't happen. It takes two to cheat. A connection like you describe is nice, but I have a feeling the logistics of this affair w... (read in full...)
How do I get his parents to like me and my parents to like him?
Q. How do i make my boyfriend's parents like me more...they dont hate me but i want tips. how do i make my parents like my boyfriend when they meet him??...
A. 28 April 2011: It's impossible because they are individuals and will develop their own opinion of him. What you can do is show you care for each other, don't hurt each other, and show respect for them and their rules. That goes both ways.
Parents will often be... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurities......
Q. OK, so we've seen the barrage of penis size questions. Got me so curious I decided to actually measure mine. What I encountered was that it may be impossible to get an accurate measurement because there are probably 13 ways to measure it. I know ...
A. 28 April 2011: Argh matey, it ain't the size of the mast on the boat, but how it handles the swells that matters.... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend feel guilty after his ex left, even though she was the one who cheated?
Q. My partner said he felt guilty after he left his ex even though she was the one who cheated. He said when he found out, he left her but spent months afterwards feeling guilty and as if he had 'not acted like a man'. What does this mean? ...
A. 28 April 2011: Glad to help, and great job getting my name right this time. ;-)
After a decade he should be over this. It's one thing to regret what happened, but it's another entirely to keep blaming yourself. I mean, I was cheated on a long time ago too, and... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 28 April 2011: That's something at least. I'd keep it casual, "Hi, how have you been?" Not much else. If the conversation starts to flow, then suggest getting together sometime and see how he reacts.... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 27 April 2011: I've said it before, but it warrents saying again, I think it should be individual choice. It's definitely not necessary, but it is a huge turn on when someone does do it.
For what it's worth, I've swallowed female ejaculate before. While in... (read in full...)
How long can you go without sex?
Q. Hey guys I just got out of an emotinally abusive relationship(5yrs long) my ex was would be like "oh ur fat" or "oh i need a break" or oh put makeup on. Mind you i'm 25yrs old and weight 120 and 5'3. (but to make story short, i cried cried cried, ...
A. 27 April 2011: No, it's not wrong at all. Personally it's been a year and a half since I last had sex. I've finally met someone who I connect well with, but we're waiting to have sex until we're sure about our feelings. Different people value sex on different ... (read in full...)
Text messages on girlfriend's phone have me upset!
Q. ok so i wanna know if im over reacting i picked up my girlfriends phone last week and saw a couple of messages.. from guys but i'm not sure if they are ex boyfriends of hers or not but what got to me the most was they were sending kisses and she ...
A. 27 April 2011: Yes, you are over reacting. Sending kisses and hugs at the end of texts is just common place for some people. We get people who post their problems here who sign them with hugs and kisses. Don't read too much into it and stop looking through her ... (read in full...)
My same-sex best friend is in love with me, and I don't feel the same.
Q. Here goes, I think that my best friend is in love with me. Today, she posted something on my facebook wall and it just did it. We are both female, I'm 19 and she is 20. We both used to be really close friends, until she moved about 400 miles ...
A. 27 April 2011: You're going to have to be honest at some point. It's going to hurt her, but unless you think you might be interested, it's really not fair to her when she's making her feelings for you so obvious.
I guess there's the option of trying to find a b... (read in full...)
Birth control without my parents!
Q. I am 17 and i want to get on birthcontrol but i dont want my parents to know because i dont what them to think im having sex everytime im alone with my boyfriend. So how do i go about getting birthcontrol without my parents???...
A. 27 April 2011: Seek out your local planned parenthood clinic. Just watch out for the protestors out front.... (read in full...)
My gf eats with her mouth open, how to make her pay attention to what;s bothering me?
Q. i'm in a long distance relationship with my gf of 4 months... she's cute and all, but the problem is that sometimes when she eats, she does that with her mouth open... i am very well mannered, and i hate it when people do weird stuff esp w...
A. 27 April 2011: Some things there are no nice ways to say. Sugar coat it as much as you want but the outcome is usually the same.
If it were me, I'd ask her if she's aware she's doing it. "Hey babe, did you know that you're chewing with your mouth open?" ... (read in full...)
Any way to figure out a baby's father before the baby is born?
Q. dear cupid, is there any possible way to figure out who a baby's father is before the baby is actually born??? or, do you just have to wait until after the baby shows up???...
A. 27 April 2011: I'm pretty sure there are ways, but it would be best to consult your doctor about this. They can test all sorts of genetic information in utero, so I don't see why this would be any different.... (read in full...)
Its been 3 months since we broke up, can I wish him a happy birthday?
Q. Split up with my fella after 7 months - he said he thought the world of me but needed to be alone, wanted space, couldnt handle our relationship as he wasn't over his ex - they havn't got back together and won't be, i agreed to give him space, it's ...
A. 27 April 2011: Is it ok? I don't see why not, but you have to decide if you can handle it if he doesn't respond before you send it. That can almost be more agonizing than dealing with what you are now.... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 27 April 2011: So, what are we learning here? A successful marriage needs respect, compromise, fidelity, honesty, and similar views on core issues (i.e. dealbreakers).
Porn is the trigger, not the problem. We can debate porn all day, but the true problem ... (read in full...)
I just cant move on even after I quit communicating with her. Help!
Q. Hello everyone. Please help me. I just need your 10 mins. I need love. It has been 2 months since I was dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years. I live and die everyday. I moved to USA from Pakistan 2 months ago and after 10 days she dumped me. After...
A. 27 April 2011: In addition to what aunt honesty said, you should take comfort in the fact that you have a good personality and people like you. This will do well for you in the future. It's natural to feel low and down about yourself after a situation like this, ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend feel guilty after his ex left, even though she was the one who cheated?
Q. My partner said he felt guilty after he left his ex even though she was the one who cheated. He said when he found out, he left her but spent months afterwards feeling guilty and as if he had 'not acted like a man'. What does this mean? ...
A. 27 April 2011: No problem OP, just had to give you some grief about it.
If you do break it off with him (which it sounds like you're going to do), you would be doing him a favor if you tell him why. You don't need to be hurtful about it, but tell him how unat... (read in full...)
Should I go to the game with him tommorow?
Q. I am 21. He is 20. We have been on 3 dates. He plays soccer,for a big team's younger category. I am a university student. I didnt know he was a soccer player when we first talked,and truth is i am a little prejudiced against them,since ...
A. 27 April 2011: This is a little late, but in situations like this you should always do what YOU want to. If you want to go, then go. If you don't, then don't. Think about what you want. To me, it sounds like this is more of an annoyance to you. Do you even ... (read in full...)
Does this FWB thing make me a slut?
Q. Last year, I got to know a guy in my class, S (lets call him that for now) We hit it right off and became really good friends. To the extent that we had people asking us every few days "are you guys going out?" Our friendship progressed and we ...
A. 27 April 2011: What did L say when you broke up? The things that keep ringing in your head? Did he call you a slut?
Being a FWB doesn't make you a slut, but your behavior doesn't reflect well on you either. If the note that S was giving you was so bad that... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about sleeping with a close friend while we were seeing each other.
Q. My boyfriend recently confessed that he slept with a close female friend of his. It's a little bit complicated because this girl, C, was a long time girlfriend of one of the other guys in their group of friends and she and him would often spend time ...
A. 27 April 2011: Honestly, you might have been able to get past it if he had been honest, but with all the lies it's hard to trust anything now. FWIW, I think your feelings are justified. ... (read in full...)
Could this end well for us?
Q. She's family... more like my own sister, yep, she's my cousin... We've known each other since 2007, we had been flirting since then, until we finaly kissed in 2009, from that moment, we both realised that we were madly in love... She says she's ...
A. 27 April 2011: Could this end well? I've heard a couple of success stories from people in your situation in my time here.
How would your family deal with this? It often means being disowned and having your family never speak to you again. Is this somethin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's gay friend asked him for sex! Does this mean he is gay too?
Q. I have a boyfriend and everytime I open his account he ask me not to open his messages and comments . I was so curious that day that I replied to a gay friend of him and ask why, then I was shocked when that gay answered "where are you now ,could we ...
A. 27 April 2011: Well, I'd say more bi if he's having sex with you too. I do think he's having sex with this other guy though.
However curious you may be, or suspicious that something is up, it's still very bad to not only snoop through his accounts, but pretend ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to buy for my difficult friend
Q. ok my question is i dont know what to get my freind for his birthday , i know i should know what he likes but hes diificult to buy for ; ok so hes a boy ; 14th birthday ; hes gay i know tht dont mean anything but what i mean is hes extrem...
A. 27 April 2011: Ok, he likes fashion... Maybe a book about the history of fashion. Or look to see if there are any fashion shows in your area you could get him tickets for.
Does he like to design his own fashions? Perhaps some sewing stuff.
Does he watch... (read in full...)
A drunken kiss that I donn't remember!
Q. So, i went out 2 weeks ago with a circle of friends that i don't usually hang out with,but very much enjoy their company. So anyway, tonight on chat, i speak to one of them that apparently saw me out and mentions how he liked my hair and that i'v...
A. 27 April 2011: Tell the truth. It's way better than getting caught in a lie. If you don't remember, then don't claim to, he could be lying too.... (read in full...)
I want to take revenge on him for making me feel this way!
Q. Hi all, I'm going to make this a brief question,but I really hope you guys can give me some helpful advice. My ex and I broke up last friday night after a bad argument and he sorta lives about an hour away from town. I'm so angry inside because I...
A. 27 April 2011: Thank you for the follow up!... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend feel guilty after his ex left, even though she was the one who cheated?
Q. My partner said he felt guilty after he left his ex even though she was the one who cheated. He said when he found out, he left her but spent months afterwards feeling guilty and as if he had 'not acted like a man'. What does this mean? ...
A. 26 April 2011: "Thanks again cerberus and Odds"
Odds? He didn't check in to this thread, at least not yet...
OP, leaving him over this may be a bit extreme, but it also depends on how badly he is still reacting about it. Many people blame themselves for t... (read in full...)
Should I Be Angry At All His Lies?
Q. Last Summer Of 2010 i discovered 'Dating Sites' . Over A few Months i got into Contact with an American Man Who was working with politics etc we Spoke For Months And I fell in love :) he came to ireland in autumn and asked me to meet him i was ...
A. 26 April 2011: Were you tricked? Yup. Should you be angry? That's up to you. I don't think he's worth the time, but it would be very natural for you to be mad at him, and it would be justified. Be very happy you didn't meet up with him. I think you knew ... (read in full...)
I just cant move on even after I quit communicating with her. Help!
Q. Hello everyone. Please help me. I just need your 10 mins. I need love. It has been 2 months since I was dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years. I live and die everyday. I moved to USA from Pakistan 2 months ago and after 10 days she dumped me. After...
A. 26 April 2011: She was your everything, but obviously you weren't the same to her. In fact, it sounds like she was taking advantage of you, and using your love. How did she show she loved you back? How did she respond when you told her you wanted to make her ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend feel guilty after his ex left, even though she was the one who cheated?
Q. My partner said he felt guilty after he left his ex even though she was the one who cheated. He said when he found out, he left her but spent months afterwards feeling guilty and as if he had 'not acted like a man'. What does this mean? ...
A. 26 April 2011: He's regretting things he didn't do. Perhaps it's telling her off, or beating up the guy she cheated with, or maybe he's feeling like he drove her to cheat in some way. Whatever the case, it's in his head, but until he fully addresses it and comes ... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 25 April 2011: A fan of my poem?!? That made my day!... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 25 April 2011: He didn't know how to respond, because something like that does NOT belong in a text. It's hard to say if you ruined your chances or not, but if he likes you, then you didn't. Things will likely be a bit awkward the next time you see him though.... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 25 April 2011: Cheers! Great post. I couldn't agree more.... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 25 April 2011: "If I never trust anyone again I will protect myself from any hurt they may inflict on me"
True, however you will also not be open to the happiness that can come from it either.
When we are hurt, the natural instinct is to shut down and close o... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 23 April 2011: *sigh*
That's not something you text the first time you tell someone. You TELL them...... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 21 April 2011: That implies he wants you to meet her, which is a good sign.... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 21 April 2011: I was referring to the suggestions I gave for asking him about his feelings for you. One was an indirect method: dropping hints and making a joke about the wife comment. The other was direct: asking him out on a date.
Since you say you're s... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: To add a male perspective, pretty much all of us lie about it unless you convince us you're ok with porn. It's not right, but it's a learned behavior. Even a guy who swears up and down he doesn't watch it likely does. Just a warning about what ... (read in full...)
I cant stop thinking about my family friend
Q. ok there is this guy i can't stop thinking about. He is a family friend. We were out at a bar friday night with my family and ended up at a mutual friends house after, someone we didn't know asked if i was his wife and i said no, as he was saying ...
A. 19 April 2011: You know how when you want something, you read into every little thing about it instead of doing what you should? You're there. If you really like him, it seems like he's interested too. Drop him a hint about wanting to get together in a pr... (read in full...)
I want to take revenge on him for making me feel this way!
Q. Hi all, I'm going to make this a brief question,but I really hope you guys can give me some helpful advice. My ex and I broke up last friday night after a bad argument and he sorta lives about an hour away from town. I'm so angry inside because I...
A. 17 February 2011: What would revenge accomplish? It might make you feel better temporarilly, but in the long run you'll feel worse, and be a worse person for it.
You may feel like you fit, but if you really fit, you wouldn't be broken up. That's the truth. ... (read in full...)
| *irtball's friends
These are mutual friends, so *irtball has
added them and they have added *irtball!
|
