A
male
age
30-35,
*spinky
writes:ok so. I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago. we had been going out for a year and a half. it was a pretty harsh decision which i regret now. i thought i wanted to go out with other people but now that i am, i want her back. i had never been as happy as i was with her. i lost contact with her for about a month which is what people say you should do to get over your breakups but it made it worse for me. but she seems to have moved on now and is seeing one of our friends. i'm not sure if this is my guilty conscience speaking though or if i truly still love her. because i really hurt her and i wanted her to move on so she could be happy. my question is, am i making another harsh decision? should i tell her i want her back or am i only being driven by guilt?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): What has guilt got to do with it? She does not seem to be pinning away for you. she moved on to someone else. She seems to have made a good choice.
Your problem is not guilt but envy, you are probably upset that she was able to move on. Is that your problem you can't believe you were not as important to her as you thought. Maybe you didn't hurt her as much as you thought, that's good for her.
There is no reason to be cruel and hurt people you will probably get it back in kind. Follow her lead and move on. A little presumptuous to assume that she would even want anything to do with you.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 I feel like you're probably being driven by the whole "you want what you can't have" complex. But, I think what is best is if you really take awhile and think about what you really want. Is it because she seems to have moved on?
Why did you break up with her? Was it just because you wanted the single life, or were there additional reasons? Usually two people break up for a reason, and that reason doesn't always disappear overnight.
Also, if she is already dating someone else, there is not much you can do. Don't get in between her and the new fella!
Think about it!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): I would leave her alone. You were the one who broke up with her because you wanted to see other people. she has since found someone new. Leave her alone.maybe you can let her know that you're currently not seeing anyone but not say anything else. If she wants to get back with you the ball will be in her court. But I dont' think it's nice to tell her you want her back when you were the one who broke up with her not because you and her had problems but simply because you wanted to see what else is out there...and she has since mended her heart and moved on. it's not nice to yank people around...just my two cents
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