A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are not intimate that often, last night I wanted to be with him, he said no, maybe tomorrow and rolled over. I told him my feelings were hurt and I was feeling like I wasn't wanted. He twisted it all around saying I made him feel bad, also said he is 54 and sex is not his high priority like it used to be, and if I wanted it so bad find someone who can give you what you need. Everything went sour, I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, just telling him mine. Was I wrong? Went to work in the morning, called him when I was done, he didn't answer and has not spoken to me. I'm not going to keep trying to reach him, but I'm feeling a little angry and hurt NEVER was trying to hurt him, where did this come from? HELP what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 January 2016):
 54 is NOT OLD! Sex might not be his priority, but he certainly shouldn't be rejecting your advances in such a hurtful way.
I suppose his workload hasn't increased lately, or that he has extra stresses at work that could be causing some issues, how long since he had a full medical checkup, it could also be something physical, or, he might simply not care if he hurts you or not . you don't say how long you have been in a relationship with him or if this is a recent development or something that gradually happened over a number of years or months.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (16 January 2016):
 You were not trying to hurt him. You simply said you feelings were hurt and you felt unwanted. Men take this very personally. In their heads, they hear something like, "you are old, and useless. You can't make a woman happy." No, you shouldn't have to restrict what you say, but just understand that at your age, it's not that you are not sexy anymore. When the men are too tired, can't get it up but don't want to use Viagra, then it's not your problem anymore. First he has to have a libido and a working too to want it.
Before you decide what to do with him, think about if infrequent sex is really a problem, can you live with just a little of it. However it sounds like he already decided that the relationship is not going to work out. You didn't get a closure so you can give him a week. If he doesn't reply then the relationship is over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2016): Its called mismatched sex drives. My ex didnt want sex much and I did. It left me feeling unattractive and rejected. If you enjoy intimacy and sex I would think very carefully about continuing in this relationship. You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.
We tried everything. It boiled down to the fact I enjoyed and wanted it and for him it was a low priority.
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