Why do I keep attracting married men instead of available single men?
Q. Dear cupid I have been single for some years now but the only men that seem to be attracted to me is married men. Why is this happening to me? Do I have some type of vibe that they figure I date married men? I just don't understand this.I been a...
A. 30 August 2016: Actually, you're not attracting married men.
You are attracted TO married men.
You're sending the signals to the guy to pursue you. That makes him a dog, and you don't WANT to be attracted to a married guy, but you fall to pieces and melt ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house
Q. I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...
A. 27 August 2016: Hah! Really?? Tell me, is his ego worth the costs it takes to sell one house, buy another house, pay closing costs and a realtor if you use one, refurnish or refurbish the new house, and pay moving costs??
This fight was a few years ago. An... (read in full...)
Is it likely that my GF thinks of nothing when she masturbates? Is she telling lies? I'd like to spice things up.
Q. I've been trying to spice things up and find out what turns my gf on but she told me she doesn't think of anything while she masturbates. Is she lieing? ...
A. 27 August 2016: Don't ask her to do it in front of you. Like I said - part of the great thing about solo stuff is that you do NOT have to worry about anyone else. Maybe in porn is where there's this sort of exhibitionist stuff going around, but that's not the ... (read in full...)
Is it likely that my GF thinks of nothing when she masturbates? Is she telling lies? I'd like to spice things up.
Q. I've been trying to spice things up and find out what turns my gf on but she told me she doesn't think of anything while she masturbates. Is she lieing? ...
A. 26 August 2016: First of all, good for you for asking this question! Wanting to spice things up or make your GF's sexual experience with you even better or more pleasurable for her is outstanding! I wish more people were like you when it comes to being ... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 25 August 2016: It is *not* him that you need forgiveness from. You only need forgiveness from YOURSELF. Like other people said - he's the one who needs to make amends, not you.
You going too far in your impulsive response is not a thing that requires amends f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always says other girls are hotter!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and i love him so much and i truly believe her loves me just as much in return but he will always say how other girls are hot, and if i say someone is hotter than me he doesn't deny it he normally just says ...
A. 25 August 2016: First off, don't talk about girls being hot in comparison to you. Show him that you're so far above the very base notion that you care whether anyone is "hotter" than you. Don't even feed or allow him to feed that insecurity in you, because if ... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 24 August 2016: OP - thanks for the follow-up. I'm glad you didn't do the public shaming on social media, but it was public shaming nonetheless. I am glad you recognize that you have an impulse issue. Most people either can't or won't face it, and when told they ... (read in full...)
Intimacy question, boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate with me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months who is 33. He is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend. Things are great , he is sweet and nice. However, whenever it comes to intimacy. He wants me to stay over at his place and we just cuddle. He a...
A. 24 August 2016: At 4 months, you should just ask him. It sounds like from your post that you haven't yet become sexually intimate.
I wouldn't rush to the "he's gay" reason right away. In this unprecedented tolerant age of homosexuality, I highly doubt th... (read in full...)
I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?
Q. Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...
A. 24 August 2016: You have a really bad habit when it comes to relationships, and you're lucky that it's only resulted in getting permanently banned from an ex's site.
From your words "I know I can be quite vocal at times" and describing yourself as "people ... (read in full...)
What is he trying to say? Says he has to ''stay away'' from me. He called me ''the devil''. Asked me if I still love him.
Q. my ex stopped by to see me before i left for a 6 month business trip, he's been very distant from me for the past month and a half. he gives me a hug and holds me tight, he asked me if i missed him and i said no, then we started kissing and he told ...
A. 18 August 2016: If he is your ex, then why do YOU care whether or not he's "distant"? If you broke up with him, why are you even in contact with him in the first place???
So he comes over to your house, hugs you, kisses you, and you two have sex. Why did you ... (read in full...)
How to handle husband who ignores me to chat up other females
Q. My husband got this bad habit even before we were married. He's playful around women especially the ones he knew. Whenever he saw any female he knew he talked with them making them laugh he completely forgot I'm standing next to him. One time I...
A. 18 August 2016: I don't understand. If you're talking about parties or get-togethers or family dinners, how are you so aware of who he's talking to, or how long he's talking to her? Is he ogling them? Is he dancing, or hugging, or she's sitting in his lap? Is ... (read in full...)
I can't think of any solutions to get him to move out. Help?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend moved in with me 8 months ago as he was retrenched. Fortunately he now has a new job but the spell of unemployment hit him hard financially and he is still struggling to make ends meet. He also has a child with ex girlfriend. Our ...
A. 18 August 2016: Anon male - no one on here is even remotely "bashing" the OP. He didn't make the OP pregnant. His ex has his child. None of which is the OP's problem, but her boyfriend's baggage.
OP - you didn't mention whether or not you own the home you... (read in full...)
In a relationship, how much porn is too much porn?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 6 years, but after living together for 1 year our sex life has grown dull. For some reason we haven't openly talked about masturbation/porn in at least 2 years, but I guess I always knew my boyfriend watched it even now we ...
A. 18 August 2016: The answer to "How much porn is too much" is similar to the question "How much alcohol is too much"?
In moderation and used responsibly, porn is a good quick release of sexual tension, a good outlet especially in times where partners are sepa... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure and would appreciate some insight.
Q. Hey there, My amazing boyfriend of almost one year has me slightly confused and saddened due to an incident that occurred last night and I would love your honest opinions...last night during sex I noticed that he was losing his erection. During t...
A. 11 August 2016: Alcohol is a depressant, and it causes the loss of erection on more than one occasion. It wasn't you.
He is a porn user. I wouldn't say that it's over-extensive because he's usually perfectly fine having sex with you, and it takes a booze-so... (read in full...)
He's unhappily married. Does he like me or is it all in my head??!
Q. He's 37, I'm 24. He's married, unhappily I might add. So I would NEVER do anything. But, I have the feeling he has a thing for me. Based off of a few observations: - finds reasons to visit my department and talk to me for a long period of...
A. 11 August 2016: See where his married roving eye got him??
Trust me, there are plenty of single guys out there who you don't work with that will fit the bill much better than being utterly unprofessional at work.... (read in full...)
He earns 8 times what I earn. Is it fair that I contribute 50 . 50 for all dating costs
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, he earns very good money (about 8 times what I do), should meals out/ trips away be split 50 / 50 , or should he be expected to pay more as he is the higher earner and had a lot more disposable cash than me ...
A. 9 August 2016: Yes, stuff should be split 50/50! What he earns has no bearing on what you're entitled to. You are in control of what you earn, and how you earn it, and because someone makes more doesn't mean they pay more.
HOWEVER...
This means that YOU a... (read in full...)
He's unhappily married. Does he like me or is it all in my head??!
Q. He's 37, I'm 24. He's married, unhappily I might add. So I would NEVER do anything. But, I have the feeling he has a thing for me. Based off of a few observations: - finds reasons to visit my department and talk to me for a long period of...
A. 9 August 2016: Here's your answer:
If you were married to a man, if you loved him, how would you feel if he behaved with another woman in an identical manner?? Would it give you pause, as his wife, to see such interest in this other woman?
Have you ever... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 2 August 2016: The phrasing of your post says a lot about how you view sex. Sex is not and shouldn't be "transactional" unless you've made a conscious decision to sell it for something.
When I saw the title of this, I had visions of guys who made you pay for ... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 31 July 2016: If her attention is unwanted by you, you need to make that clear. What she's doing isn't "flirting", it's sexual harassment. If you switched genders, and it was a guy who's holding hands, initiating 10+ second hugs, and talking about marriage and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's personality has changed, should I address this? And how?
Q. I'm with this guy for a year and a half now. And he had just broken up with his abusive ex of 5 years, by the time we met. He was very frail, little things could upset him greatly, and it took a few months for him to be himself again. But he was ...
A. 29 July 2016: I think it's because your boyfriend is showing more of his REAL self. He spent the past year being who he is not, and that's romantic. Now that he believes he's "got you", his real self is emerging.
You should be questioning his abuse story, b... (read in full...)
Does my obliging nature cause women to think I'm too boring a guy, for them?
Q. Am I boring in relationships, I like going out dancing to live bands, taking walks in parks, going shopping,going to movies, holding hands, nice places to go eat, I like cooking, if a woman needs help at her place, I can do a lot when it comes to ...
A. 26 July 2016: There's one thing I saw in your post. You say that your age is 51-59, right?? Nothing wrong with that, but are the women you're going after much younger, as in 20's and 30's??
You may come across as a creep if you're buying gifts and going af... (read in full...)
I dislike my boyfriend because he's low-income and I have to keep providing for him.
Q. Is it wrong for me to dislike my boyfriend because he is low income? I live with both parents who have good jobs and I get allowance. I should be getting a job at the age of 20 but I am in college. My boyfriend is 23 and in college as well but ...
A. 26 July 2016: Honeypie said something that really struck a chord in me, and I should have thought of it myself...
You're not providing for yourself either. How are YOU going to learn self-sufficiency if you get an allowance from your parents at age 20 (you're ... (read in full...)
Does my obliging nature cause women to think I'm too boring a guy, for them?
Q. Am I boring in relationships, I like going out dancing to live bands, taking walks in parks, going shopping,going to movies, holding hands, nice places to go eat, I like cooking, if a woman needs help at her place, I can do a lot when it comes to ...
A. 25 July 2016: You sound like a keeper! It's possible that you're attracted to the wrong kind of woman. Not all women are good, just like not all men are good. If you are finding that it's a pattern that women are leaving for "bad boys", then you're not going ... (read in full...)
Porn and masturbation and the ex. How can I raise these issues with him with it escalating to his usual angry response of, none of your business?
Q. My bf have been together for 4 years on and on, mostly just seeing each other on the weekends. With in those 4 years I have been on my edge with him knowing he Jacks off every morning watching porn or some sort activities with porn on his computer...
A. 25 July 2016: You don't confront him. You LEAVE him. This *is* your business. Yes, you have been snooping on his phone, and I put this to you:
If you're with a guy in a relationship such that you are constantly monitoring him and invading his privacy,... (read in full...)
I dislike my boyfriend because he's low-income and I have to keep providing for him.
Q. Is it wrong for me to dislike my boyfriend because he is low income? I live with both parents who have good jobs and I get allowance. I should be getting a job at the age of 20 but I am in college. My boyfriend is 23 and in college as well but ...
A. 25 July 2016: DO NOT PROVIDE for him! He's a grown man! His mom is dependent on the government, and he's following in her footsteps.
You never let money get into a relationship like this, because it messes up the relationship. Stop providing NOW! How the ... (read in full...)
I'm so sick of the games that my husband's ex has been playing. When will this stop?
Q. When do the games stop?Do we have to grin and bear it? I have a situation where my husband and I have been married for twenty years. My whole marriage the ex has been in the picture with his family. I came along 2 years after they were divorced. ...
A. 25 July 2016: This one's a bit complicated. I know that his ex HAS been playing games, but I don't think that it's ALL games. She has a daughter by your husband, which makes her a part of the family whether you want it to be so or not. Not only that, but ... (read in full...)
Is this girl suitable as a LTR girl for me?
Q. We've known each other for two years and we've been starting something (seeing eachothers and sleeping together) for four months. I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my ...
A. 22 July 2016: So, you had sex with a lot of locals, you also were in a long term relationship where I'm sure there was lots of sex to be had, and you wasted no time in becoming sexual with her.
So why are you having a problem with her past, when it's obvious ... (read in full...)
How long to wait for a declaration of love?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 8 months and as I'm no spring chicken I've got to be economical with time. I've wasted too much in the past with an emotionally unavailable man. This one looked promising as we get on well and enjoy each other's ...
A. 21 July 2016: You have a good point, DarrellG!
I wasn't trying to criticize the guy. My father was more emotionally aloof as well, speaking more in terms of logic and intellectual analysis rather than emotional declarations.
I share your sympathy for the... (read in full...)
My partner lives in the old days!
Q. both me and my partner both work my partner thinks he lives in the old days thinks its down to the woman to do all the chores and dinner and gardening i feel this is very unfair he wants to get married and im undecided with way our relationship is ...
A. 21 July 2016: I would not marry him! He can't be "old-fashioned" while simultaneously enjoying the income that your job brings into the household. "old-fashioned" means that not only is he the sole-provider of the household, but that he also does all the "heavy ... (read in full...)
How long to wait for a declaration of love?
Q. I've been dating this guy for 8 months and as I'm no spring chicken I've got to be economical with time. I've wasted too much in the past with an emotionally unavailable man. This one looked promising as we get on well and enjoy each other's ...
A. 21 July 2016: I read your post, and something you said jumped out at me:
"I've wasted too much in the past with an emotionally unavailable man."
As you have said, you've been around the block a few times, and you're not naive to the way things work, and... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever wasted 10 years of their life and not lived to regret it?
Q. This could be very long but I will keep it short. Has anybody ever wasted 10 years of their life.. And lived enough not to regret it. This holds me down badly. ...
A. 19 July 2016: There's a difference between wasting your life and FEELING like you've wasted your life.
Oftentimes, in hindsight, there are lessons that even in the low point, are valuable and weren't a waste.
As far as wasting youth and time on someone else,... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm in a relationship, just without the title, I'd like to talk about being together but don't want to freak her out!
Q. I'm interested in some perspectives on this situation. I'm a gay woman and I've been sleeping with another woman for 8 months now. We've known each other for years but were always seeing other people, so we remained friends during that time. Howe...
A. 16 July 2016: I think you may be putting the cart before the horse. I read your post and it had everything to do with how you respond to her. I didn't see anything about how you feel about her. Yes, you both started sleeping together on the rebound. Yes, you ... (read in full...)
Who and how do I ask what happened to my Mom and about my Mom? My Mom died 8 years ago.
Q. I will make this short as I can since I'm to upset and had to keep starting over. My mom died when I was 6 and I was always told she was real sad and sometimes people get too sad to live any more so they live with Jesus. I don't know why but I a...
A. 13 July 2016: First of all, I'm so very sorry you are going through this. My heart reaches out to you now.
You have been learning a painful secret that even you instinctively know that your family resists talking about. You were old enough to know some thi... (read in full...)
I can't rely on friends. Should I accept the offer of a work colleague to take me home from hospital after my surgery?
Q. I have to have surgery soon, and will be going home that day, im told i need someone to take me home but i have noone? Its day surgery and i must be driven home Im all alone with no family or reliable friends, friends are busy and wont care ...
A. 12 July 2016: I'd let her! I wouldn't worry too much about vanity. The world is still a good place.
Otherwise, you can have the hospital staff arrange for either a taxi or an UBER to get you where you need to go.
If it were me, I'd go for a work colle... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: If I were in your position, and my child wanted to change their name, I wouldn't be mad. I would be reaching out to them to find out where the rift is and try to mend it.
In your case, I can see where it is right here:
"My daughter needs t... (read in full...)
It worries me he hangs out with students
Q. Hello all, I met a guy several months ago. We started seeing each other because we liked each other's personalities, despite the fact that we are both busy and it is often difficult to see one another. We have a good relationship besides a fe...
A. 11 July 2016: I read your post and was prepared to answer, when I read it again, and I got a completely different take on it...
On the surface, my first reaction was - what crime is he committing? He seemed like a guy who hadn't matured past the point of the c... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my current boyfriend with my ex, how do I get out o this love triangle?
Q. I need advice and please bear with me and this long post! So my boyfriend (I'll call him Oliver) and I have been together for 5 months now and we're very happy together. He's sweet as can be and he treats me like a princess. My ex (I'll call him ...
A. 8 July 2016: I fully agree with Honeypie. You should not be with anyone.
You take to relationships like an out of control spender takes to credit cards. They impulse buy, rack up lots of debt, then toss them aside without a thought as to how the debt wil... (read in full...)
She thinks it looks cool. Anything I can say, or do, to change her mind about smoking again??
Q. I apologize in advance for anything I'm not making sense on. I've had this issue before and now its cropped up again but this time it's even worse. Just over 4 months ago me and my girlfriend finally came to an agreement that she wouldn't smoke c...
A. 5 July 2016: I won't take away from the excellent advice of my fellow aunts here, and I say you should read them to the hilt.
But this is about smoking ONLY on the surface.
This is her bit to get attention from you. Come on. You fuss over her not smoking,... (read in full...)
Could this man I've been chatting to for 2 weeks be telling the truth? Or is he lying to me about his dream? Why tell me?
Q. Hello iam chatting with a man of 57 years old, he actually lives in the same city, and we are planning to meet in a few days. We chat everyday, and exchange photos. Its been 2 weeks since we started chatting online. One day he told me that he dream...
A. 3 July 2016: I'm sure he's telling the truth, either in that it was an actual dream and the guy's horny, as the others have said, or he's daydreaming. Either way, it's a come-on.
I think it's kinda creepy to be honest, or at the very least, he's grooming... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ghosted without any warning. How do I let go?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months ghosted a month ago. Everything was going very well until the last two weeks it all came to a screeching halt. He took longer and longer to reply and eventually not at all. I saw he logged back onto his online dating s...
A. 3 July 2016: Your post here is pretty revealing actually. But before I tell you, just know that I do not condone his actions. People who ghost other people after a few dates, possibly sex, but definitely more than a first date or one night stand, are immature. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me after 6 years out of nowhere. Did he plan this???
Q. Both 23. It has been 2 weeks and everytime I hear nothing from him I am slowly hardening my heart to ever speaking to him ever again. He has been in college these past years, and has not been that happy but I stuck by him, when he got a job a few we...
A. 3 July 2016: Unfortunately, he was disconnecting from you possibly for months before it happened, which is why it seems like he's just dropped you with no difficulty on his part.
Gone are the days of our grandparents marrying their high school sweethea... (read in full...)
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