Who do I go for? Dude A or B?
Q. Who do I really love? I'm 17 years of age and I'm in my final year in secondary school. I am in a love triangle(two boys). I love dude A a lot but he is a player and I've know him since primary school, he was my sitting mate in primary school. ...
A. 2 December 2016: Stay as far away from "Dude A" as possible. The reason you're drawn to him is because of your maturity level, being 17. That's not a slam on your age, but it *is* the "bad boy" allure that ends up causing major damage to you in both the short and ... (read in full...)
Everytime I turn around she needs money.
Q. I am currently in a LDR and it has become frustrating how financially dependent she has become. We were in this situation when we lived in the same town, however, I was living at home and didn't pay any bills while working. Now I am living on my own ...
A. 17 November 2016: I hate to say this, but you're being used right now and taken for a ride. You used to live in the same town when you lived at home, but now that you're working, you're long distance and she hits you up for money to send to her family?
First... (read in full...)
Why does he never offer to pay for the hotel?
Q. I travel quite a lot and 3-4 times a year I fly through one country where I met a guy who I really like. Sometimes it's a lay over, sometimes it's a couple days stay. We always meet and it's usually just amazing. Sex is amazing and I really enj...
A. 10 November 2016: Why do you need a hotel room? If this isn't a business thing and the travel is for leisure, why can't you stay at his place as a "layover" instead of a hotel room? It's possible he doesn't pay because to him, it's not needed? He lives there, ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty, I ran into my ex and feel like we sort of had a date. Do I tell my girlfriend?
Q. Greetings I know this is going to be a long post but please bare with me, something really weird happened to me very recently and i could really use your insight. Me and a couple of guy friends went out for a friday night but since i dont drink i ...
A. 6 November 2016: This is a two-part answer here, because this encounter you had raises two issues. I'll number them so as to make it easier for both of us to follow my train of thought:
1. YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATELY tell your current girlfriend of this encounte... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband without hurting his feelings that he doesn't satisfy me?
Q. So..I've been with my husband for 11 years. Sex was never a problem, up until recently. I was young when we first met so I never paid attention to the "small" size he carried, it would satisfy me completely. Now after 3 kids I feel differently. How ...
A. 6 November 2016: You're looking at it all wrong. The penis is not the only thing that can give you pleasure in sexual gratification! You'll hurt his feelings if you incorrectly surmise that you've gotten "bigger" and that he's "small". You could have changed ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend just admit that he's smoking?
Q. Hello. I'm having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend of nearly two years. First off let me start by saying, I'm not normally a suspicious person. And usually I would give people the benefit of doubt but things have gone a bit too far now. ...
A. 6 November 2016: I agree with Honeypie, and I'd like to add something...
Why didn't you take the pack of cigarettes and show it to him the moment they fell out of his bag? Even now, why not just be honest with him and tell him that you saw them?? Why the "tes... (read in full...)
Husband took advantage of my drunken state
Q. I'm not really sure what to do. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to a party. I drank, he did not. I drank a little too much and was barely functioning. We came home and had sex. He went soft so I rolled over and passed out. Next thing I know, ...
A. 1 November 2016: I saw your question yesterday and thought about it off and on. I wanted to really consider my response to you, because of the legal, emotional, and even moral ramifications of my advice. I had to separate what *I* would do if it happened from what ... (read in full...)
I think my mom's cheating on my step dad
Q. I really need some advice right now. I think my mum is cheating, or about to cheat on my stepdad. It sickens me to even think about it. Long story short, last year there was an incident where my mum found out that my stepdad was messaging and ...
A. 23 October 2016: Unfortunately, it sure does sound like your mom is at the very least being emotionally unfaithful to your stepdad.
I also know what it feels like to realize how flawed parents can truly be. I don't know of many of us who don't have a moment w... (read in full...)
I was completely averse to sex in my previous relationship and though I'm better now, I still have negative feelings attached to it. Any words of advice?
Q. I was with my ex for 5.5 years roughly. About 3 years in, I lost my sex drive. It had a lot to do with being on the pill but we also started having problems which didn't help. For the last year of our relationship, I hated sex, truly hated it, ...
A. 23 October 2016: I'm glad you're on the waiting list for therapy, because it'll do you a lot of good!
I read your post twice through, and something stood out to me:
The guy you were with didn't even realize that you were crying during sex. He was behind you, ... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 23 October 2016: Female anon, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. To be honest, you are the perfect example of someone who takes charge of yourself and gets the help you need, which is not easy. For you, even getting under some water and using a cloth ... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 22 October 2016: Female anon:
Nobody is bullying anyone nor suggesting that she should bully him. I mentioned people with bad habits at school, but I didn't once mention that it was okay to bully them or mistreat them. And I was not a bully in any capacity... (read in full...)
I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?
Q. A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...
A. 21 October 2016: No. No friendship. He's not interested in friendship. All of his attentions towards you are because he wants you. Because he is desperate, he has made concessions no man should make, as in the "year" thing. That made me sad for him...if I were ... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 21 October 2016: Sounds like you already talk to him since you've physically "pushed" him to the bathroom, and given that your sex life is greatly diminished, trust me, he knows that he's got substandard hygiene.
These things only get worse. We all remember... (read in full...)
I am threatened because sometimes she masturbates
Q. i am married and my wife recently told me that she would masturbate from the time of her ex-lover to the time when she had our first kid. What should i do? Should i leave her because she is not that into me?...
A. 20 October 2016: Don't you masturbate as well??
As much as you think the sexuality between men and women are different, and the stereotype that women must be relationship-geared when it comes to all forms of sexuality, that isn't true.
Just as you masturbat... (read in full...)
Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips?
Q. Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips? We only have one male friend who does this. He does it to other wives as well. He had been a mutual friend for 10 ye...
A. 19 October 2016: I read your follow-up, OP, and I don't get the idea that you've suddenly started disliking this, but that you've been disliking this the whole time, but it's now the symptom of many small things and a rift that's starting up between you.
For e... (read in full...)
Did my letter to him mean I've lost him for good?
Q. This guy I been talk to for years I broke of with him he never would ask me out it's been over 3yrs and never ask me he always come up with excuse not go out with me I see him about veryday when he goes by me and I he see me stand their when h...
A. 18 October 2016: Yeah, he's not interested, and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings about it, which is why he lied about being married.
One thing to keep in mind - you don't EVER want to get to a point where a guy tells you to "Stop calling him". You don't wa... (read in full...)
Is there a code to rings on her finger?
Q. What is the meaning of rings on a woman’s hand. Does a ring on the right ring finger show a signal single status for a woman? Does a ring on the right ring finger of a woman show an openness to pursuing a romantic relationship? if a girl does not ...
A. 18 October 2016: A ring on the right ring finger is no code for dating. It could be simply a gift from a loved one. It could be an heirloom (I wear an heirloom ring on my right hand that means a lot to me), or it could be a class ring, or it could just be ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips?
Q. Do you think it's unreasonable for a husband to request that his wife not kiss mutual male friends hello and goodbye on the lips? We only have one male friend who does this. He does it to other wives as well. He had been a mutual friend for 10 ye...
A. 18 October 2016: I'm with Anon123 on this as well. I'm actually on your side here on this one, and while I understand the opposite side of this issue, here's why I'm in your corner:
I don't know if you remember the original Family Feud with Richard Dawson, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to orgasm and then gets bored
Q. My girlfriend says she thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to "O" and then gets bored and wants me to just get it over with. We do foreplay and I am trying to teach her how to satisfy my wi...
A. 12 October 2016: Truly? I think she is NOT a great girl. What person would be satisfied by their partner, then turn around and suggest cheating on them because they don't feel like satisfying them??? That's a really selfish, shallow person.
I'll tell you this... (read in full...)
What's going on? He asked for my number. Yet he still hasn't asked me out for a date?
Q. I'm a member of a local swimming pool and a few months ago I got talking to a guy who had just joined. Since then we have become really friendly seeing each other there a couple of evenings a week. A few weeks ago the guy asked for my phone num...
A. 2 October 2016: He may be just after a friend. However, if you're interested in him, why not ask him out?? You could ask him out on a date, or coffee as just friends, or whatever! If you like him, why not? Carpe diem!... (read in full...)
Is becoming angry a normal reaction to being accused of cheating?
Q. If you accuse your boyfriend of cheating and he says he is remaining calm because if he doesn't he will become violent and walk out the door and never come back, would that raise a red flag? He said he doesn't like being called a cheater. Is t...
A. 29 September 2016: So, you're accusing a cheater of cheating, even though you're someone he's cheating WITH. But you're worried that he's cheating ON you, though he's cheating WITH you.
Of course he's cheating! He's not and never will in your entire life be LOYAL... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since my husband passed away, is it too soon to start dating?
Q. I started dating my husband when I was 16, we dated for 8 years and were married for 10 and had three children together. In April 2015 he was killed in a car accident then he hit a moose. It turned my life upside down. He was the only guy I ever ...
A. 28 September 2016: First of all, I'm really sorry for you loss.
There are two things here, but I'll get to the main question you asked. Is it too soon to date??
The answer is Not At All. You are in control of your life, and in the end, you get that choice. No... (read in full...)
I told my chick friend who has kids that I won’t date women who have kids and she seems to have taken offense?
Q. A couple of months ago I moved to a bigger city along with my chick friend who has kids. We don't live together but since we don't know anybody in this town we occasionally hang out. We are both really close since we went through a big ordeal in our ...
A. 27 September 2016: With respect, that makes me even more convinced that she's got something for you, OP. Her best friend is your ex, and many times, a "best friend" sides with their friend and usually takes her side, even if she's wrong. You ex would have had to ... (read in full...)
I told my chick friend who has kids that I won’t date women who have kids and she seems to have taken offense?
Q. A couple of months ago I moved to a bigger city along with my chick friend who has kids. We don't live together but since we don't know anybody in this town we occasionally hang out. We are both really close since we went through a big ordeal in our ...
A. 26 September 2016: Everyone else has good advice. I saw something else in your post though, which may shed light on why she was so upset at what you said...
You both grew up in your hometown, then you BOTH moved to a bigger city due to a shared experience in your ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or is this gaslighting?
Q. Am I crazy? My husband has the habit of lying to me about little things. For example, he'll say he has nothing planned for the weekend and the weekend will roll around and he'll tell me that he has to go to work (and he does- I can verify that and ...
A. 25 September 2016: He's avoiding confrontation with you, not gaslighting. Gaslighting is when he tells you something happened, and then makes you feel crazy for remembering it differently.
He is trying to avoid your trust issues, and for that, I don't blame ju... (read in full...)
He says he can't date for two years
Q. Hello. i'm a freshman girl in high school and I honestly have liked this kid for the past few months now. We started talking a lot and things started as very little friends to flirting all the time. He calls me beautiful, i'm perfect, i could be a ...
A. 17 September 2016: Ahh, the old parental age restriction. I always was so mad as a kid because while my parents didn't care when my brothers dated, *I* had to wait until I was 16 to date one-on-one with a guy! Sounds like the guy you like has a similar age ... (read in full...)
My weight gain makes me feel he might stray
Q. I've been with my husband for 18 years, we were high school sweethearts and married when I was 22. We have 4 kids together and love a very comfortable life. We have a good relationship , we argue like any normal couple but we don't have any huge ...
A. 16 September 2016: What two thing do Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Elin Nordegren, Maria Shriver, Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Garner, and Halle Berry have with each other??
1. They are perfect 10's. Scorching hot, perfect body, thronged by men everywhe... (read in full...)
Your suggestions please to break the good news
Q. Hi Cupids! So - kind of a fun question for you all. I just found out that I'm pregnant with baby #2, and I'm not sure how to tell my husband. He's gonna be stoked, and I thought that maybe I'd have a little fun with it. Any suggestions?...
A. 15 September 2016: HEY TOI!! Congratulations to you!!!
How did you let him know the first time around??
I'm curious, because it would be fun to find out how you told him about the first one, and then put a spin on it!
I say take him out for dinner, and give... (read in full...)
Feel our sex is flat
Q. I'm with my girlfriend for 2 months now but i find sex ordinary. I have heard many guys expressing how "the sex is amazing", but i don't get that i just find it pretty ordinary What makes sex "mind blowing" for both males and females generall...
A. 15 September 2016: At 2 months, the sex SHOULD be awesome!
Have you had other sexual partners? Has she? Your age tells me that there might be a lack of experience on both your parts here.
First of all, DO NOT COMPARE sex to porn! DO NOT use porn as an educa... (read in full...)
I know my boyfriend is fed up with my working hours but does that excuse the fact that he's making stuff up and playing silly mind games?
Q. I'm having a bizarre argument with my boyfriend and I wonder if I should stay with him because of what he's said. I work unsociable hours in a job I really don't like but as I live by myself I have to work even if I don't particularly lov...
A. 15 September 2016: You never mentioned how long you two have been together. I think that matters in what kind of advice I give to you about this. Nevertheless, I'm going to give some to you anyways.
The first thing I saw was your age. You're in your 30's, so... (read in full...)
At 47 am I too short, or too big, or not pretty enough to ever be asked out by a guy?
Q. I am in my 40s I never thought I was pretty or good enough to date any guys. I had never went on date before, no guys ever ask me out Sometimes I think there something wrong with me I guess I am pretty enough for any guys to ask me out, or smart...
A. 14 September 2016: There's no way any of us can answer that question in the way that you want us to because, quite frankly, we can't see you! We've never seen a picture, don't know what hair or clothing style is, don't know your level of personal hygiene, so how can ... (read in full...)
I'm extremely insecure about my boyfriend's lesbian friend who seems so accomplished compared to me
Q. My partner of 3 years and I are engaged, I am feeling so down about myself and insecure over something I have noticed ever since I first got with him. He tells me he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and everyone ...
A. 14 September 2016: Female anon who said this:
"She clearly either isn't gay, she is bi-sexual ... no lesbian would sleep with a man otherwise.. or."
I respectfully disagree. Like lliften pointed out, many people on their sexual journeys sleep with members of ... (read in full...)
I'm extremely insecure about my boyfriend's lesbian friend who seems so accomplished compared to me
Q. My partner of 3 years and I are engaged, I am feeling so down about myself and insecure over something I have noticed ever since I first got with him. He tells me he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and everyone ...
A. 14 September 2016: Okay, there are three things going on here that I need to address:
1. The fact that she is a lesbian doesn't mean anything in this case. This is a past sexual partner of your fiance's. She's not a platonic lesbian friend. A relation... (read in full...)
My Granny forbids me to go to a counsellor so can someone please explain if my Mom always hated me?
Q. Please don't tell me to talk to a consellor, my granny and pawpaw don't like it bc their Pentecostal. I live with them, their my dads parents and my dad is in Colorado. My mom is in Oklahoma and so is her dad but he is in a group home. He's ...
A. 12 September 2016: I fully agree with the others. It absolutely doesn't sound at all like she hated you. Her actions suggest that she knew she was an unfit parent, so she wanted you in the care of someone better able to raise you.
Was it a selfish decision... (read in full...)
Are there any safety concerns in being a nudist?
Q. When I am home alone, I enjoy walking around completely nude. For me, there is nothing sexual about it, I just don't like wearing clothes. I am just wondering if this is a sign of something wrong with me mentality or is normal for some people to ...
A. 12 September 2016: Ahh - sorry! One thing to keep in mind, you didn't mention your relationship status. Some nudist colonies or resorts are actually biased towards single people who are "first timers", men in particular. Expect some scrutiny at first based on your ... (read in full...)
Are there any safety concerns in being a nudist?
Q. When I am home alone, I enjoy walking around completely nude. For me, there is nothing sexual about it, I just don't like wearing clothes. I am just wondering if this is a sign of something wrong with me mentality or is normal for some people to ...
A. 12 September 2016: There's nothing wrong with you! I've never known anyone who was a social nudist, but the dad of a friend of mine when I was a kid preferred to be nude in his own home. He was very nice and had clothes on when I visited. He was not a pervert or ... (read in full...)
I've lost weight and now down to UK size 12. How do I get out of thinking bad about myself when subjected to Fat Shaming?
Q. Im writing this because I'm so tired of being body shamed all of the time. Growing up I was a size 8, but then I left school, started a new career, had a baby and the weight creeped on. At my heaviest I went up to 15 stone size 16 which is very...
A. 9 September 2016: Words really hurt, and there's no getting away from people who are hurtful for no other reason than they're ugly inside. It's funny - I was just thinking today that people are cruel even to those who are improving themselves.
Just today at the g... (read in full...)
He got a strip dance and lied to me about it. Should I stay or move on?
Q. 29 F dating 1.5 years. We talked about how I did not like strip dances. I told him I was fine with him going with friends, but not get a dance. He ended going with just his best friend and went to a private room and got a dance. He lied to me ab...
A. 8 September 2016: I'll be straight up here. A man in a relationship with a woman has absolutely no business going into a private room to receive a lap dance from a stripper. He paid an actual person to perform a sex act IN PERSON on him. Many of those VIP room lap ... (read in full...)
Was it just an excuse? Or am I being selfish thinking 15 minutes away was not far?
Q. I have been dating a new guy recently and I have no car, so he usually has to pick me up and take me home. He ended things because I was too far away, despite only being 15 minutes away. Am I selfish for thinking I'm not that far?...
A. 6 September 2016: 15 minutes is nothing when both people have a car, but when one person is spending gas money doing 100% of the traveling, and you're starting to see each other every day, which turns into you naturally asking for favors from a guy with a car, and it ... (read in full...)
Do I break up with L and choose an untested but potentially amazing relationship with S ?
Q. Three years ago I met S., and we dated for a little while before he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship because he was getting over a recent breakup. Over the next year, he kept changing his mind between wanting to be friends and wanting ...
A. 6 September 2016: I have to concur. *YOU* are the reason that the relationship between yourself and L is 90%, as you say. You've been dishonest from the start of it, because you kept things open with S, you kept fantasizing with S, you kept talking with S, and you ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep attracting married men instead of available single men?
Q. Dear cupid I have been single for some years now but the only men that seem to be attracted to me is married men. Why is this happening to me? Do I have some type of vibe that they figure I date married men? I just don't understand this.I been a...
A. 30 August 2016: Actually, you're not attracting married men.
You are attracted TO married men.
You're sending the signals to the guy to pursue you. That makes him a dog, and you don't WANT to be attracted to a married guy, but you fall to pieces and melt ... (read in full...)
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