A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and i love him so much and i truly believe her loves me just as much in return but he will always say how other girls are hot, and if i say someone is hotter than me he doesn't deny it he normally just says "yea she is hotter but i lv u so idc" is it wrong it upsets me ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2016): He sounds very insensitive, but as one of the posters said, it could be an age thing. I had a boyfriend when I was 21 (he was (23) who did this all the time. Eventually I dumped him, not just for that reason, there were others, but I was tiredd of hearing him wax lyrical about how great other girls looked to him. He even used to whistle to get their attention when I was with him! What a jerk. Would you believe over 20 years later we reunite and he HADN'T changed.. he also said the same critical stuff about my body that he did when I was 21. No going back, he is history again permanently this time!
Just be careful, some men are abusive and like to keep us feeling small about ourselves. I would say this is a bad sign.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 August 2016):
 It's an age thing; he's not bothering to think about how it will affect you. When he's older, if it doesn't stop, it'll be a jerk think. Both time, it's immaturity.
You're young, so try to avoid falling into the "who's hotter?" trap; you're knocking yourself down while trying to build yourself up, by reducing other girls to their "hotness". Don't base anything on hotness; it's superficial.
How often does he tell you you're pretty?
Young relationships are to learn what you want and what not to deal with - tone down the puppy love feelings a little, so that you get less hurt if it doesn't last. Do what Honeypie suggests and show him how it feels a couple of times. If he continues, break up.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 August 2016):
 First off, don't talk about girls being hot in comparison to you. Show him that you're so far above the very base notion that you care whether anyone is "hotter" than you. Don't even feed or allow him to feed that insecurity in you, because if you're reducing the female population of the world in terms of whether or not they're better looking than you, then you'll always have a weakness that lesser men will exploit in order to manipulate you.
If your boyfriend mentions another girl on his own and says that she's hot, tell him "why should I care?" and if YOU are the one bringing up other girls, stop immediately. The "Is she hotter than me" question is a trap for guys, and it reveals weakness in you.
I'll say this right now - if he's with you, but keeps staring and talking about other girls, he's way too immature to be a boyfriend. At your age and his age, raging hormones have assaulted your systems. Everything is all or nothing. Feelings become "ultimate love", and every rejection is a devastation that feels like the world is ending. It's tough and the pressure on you is so great right now.
I'm telling you - you don't have to bow your head to ANYONE. So WHAT if someone is prettier than you, or guys buzz all around someone? Your boyfriend may be saying all of this about hot girls to hide his feelings of being out of control crazy for you, which is another immature thing to do. Call him out on it! Don't cower and over-analyze all of your shortcomings because of someone else's stupidity! You be secure in who you are! Think about what you love in yourself, like specific things (like your eyes, or your hair, or how good you look in certain clothes), or your personality, how smart you are, or your sense of humor, or your ability to make someone feel better by being around you. Or, the fact that you *are* attractive, and you need not have any sort of competition to challenge that fact.
If your boyfriend doesn't knock it off after you call him out on his stupidity, then he's not boyfriend material, and you should part company with him. Real love doesn't treat people that way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2016): First of all, fishing for compliments is a great way to get knocked down a few pegs :-)
You can tell him that it hurts your feelings and you want him to keep it to himself.
In a perfect world, even looking is cheating. BUT noticing and LOOKING are two separate things. And we don't live in a perfect world. :-) if we did, even being friendly with other guys would be cheating too.
Concentrate on your FRIENDSHIP, your emotional connection. Don't let that take over your alone time, time w friends, family, school, activities etc. Just enjoy your youth and don't worry about being hot. You're more than that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2016): We all know the story of Snow White. There's no way you can be the fairest of them all. Don't compare yourself to other girls and don't be jealous. Everyone is unique. Other boys are telling their girlfriends how hot you are. Sometimes you have to be more focused on how he feels about you, not just what he can see with his eyes. It's also about what he feels in his heart, and in that place you're better than the rest.
That's why he's with you, and not with the other girls.
Tell him it's okay to think other girls are hot; but respect your feelings, don't say it out-loud. Otherwise, you will stop being his girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 August 2016):
 Of course it's normal that you feel upset. However it's also normal that we ALL notice good looking people, however your BF is kind being a jerk and immature about since he HAS to tell you everything. What's the point in that? To make YOU feel bad? Why would he want that?
My advice? Give him a dose of his own medicine, see if he likes that.
Start pointing out hot guys and if he asks, tell him they are hotter than him. See how he likes that.
My guess is... he won't like it and the first time he tells you that... tell him THAT is how it feels for me EVERY TIME you do it.
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