My boyfriend dumped me after 6 years out of nowhere. Did he plan this???
Q. Both 23. It has been 2 weeks and everytime I hear nothing from him I am slowly hardening my heart to ever speaking to him ever again. He has been in college these past years, and has not been that happy but I stuck by him, when he got a job a few we...
A. 3 July 2016: Unfortunately, he was disconnecting from you possibly for months before it happened, which is why it seems like he's just dropped you with no difficulty on his part.
Gone are the days of our grandparents marrying their high school sweethea... (read in full...)
He wants to take joint credit, yet he does not help me run the online business in any way. Advice please on how to handle this?
Q. MY husband and I run own online business. I started my business almost 2 years ago in total when I add up the time it took me to build it to what it is today. Its all online so i work from home. My husband quit work about 6 months ago to jo...
A. 3 July 2016: I am a fellow business owner and have been for over 15 years. I know what it's like to feel the pride in hours and hours of work, digging in the trenches, dealing with the government, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and countless hours of ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with a distant cousin? In my culture some disapprove of this.
Q. Is it wrong to sleep with distant cousin? Not even real distant cousin. Its just that both of our family have same family name. I hate when all of my and their family meets like( cousin family) Also in our culture it is okay to Marry first co...
A. 28 June 2016: You didn't clarify exactly what kind of cousin this person is. Is she your first cousin? How, exactly, is she related to you?? You also don't disclose where you are from, so there's no way I can advise you regarding the law. In some places, ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if a man, married or in a relationship, has a happy ending occur after a massage?
Q. Hi ladies (and gents), I was searching for some opinion here! Long story cut short, what do you think of a married man or your spouse getting a happy ending after a massage? Would that be considered as cheating? Would you be upset if he told you...
A. 28 June 2016: One thing to consider - it is NOT common for a therapeutic masseuse to offer a "happy ending" to a massage. It's actually ILLEGAL to ask or offer a happy ending during a massage. Reputable therapists will not offer one, no matter how much money is ... (read in full...)
I feel unwelcome at work
Q. Im new to the area NOT the workplace or job (i have been there a while) some colleagues wont even introduce themselves! I have said hi and introduced myself to some and some give me a " who s she?" Look and wont introduce themselves. I like my job ...
A. 28 June 2016: You stay friendly, and give it time. Be outgoing, be interesting, and introduce yourself. Different states are different cultures. I have lived in multiple states, and some are very outgoing, welcoming, chatty, and so on. Others are as you said, ... (read in full...)
I feel that no one will give me a break. How can I gain more acceptance in a work situation?
Q. I feel like I'm being discriminated against at work but it's the restaurant owner! I messed up in the past and felt VERY lucky to have gotten the job I did. Right after my arrest, I applied for every job I could and landed a job as a barrista...
A. 28 June 2016: Families get pretty screwed up over not allowing someone to turn their lives around. They're there to remind people of the mess they've made of their lives in the past, especially if some of that was you stealing from them (a lot of drug addicts ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating if a man, married or in a relationship, has a happy ending occur after a massage?
Q. Hi ladies (and gents), I was searching for some opinion here! Long story cut short, what do you think of a married man or your spouse getting a happy ending after a massage? Would that be considered as cheating? Would you be upset if he told you...
A. 28 June 2016: If the happy ending was intentional, then absolutely it's cheating. People don't usually categorize an involuntary ejaculation as anything but an embarrassing ending. I've only ever heard of involuntary ejaculation/orgasm taking place by patients ... (read in full...)
Would you go to a reunion with a brother who blames you for Dad's alcoholism?
Q. Hello, I am the youngest of four. I have two older sisters and a brother. My dad passed away in 2008 and my mom in 2013. When my dad passed away my brother called me two days later blaming me for his death. He died of a bad liver due to drinking. My ...
A. 28 June 2016: That's so tough - family, and when parents die, so much of that pain and past resentment just turn to stone. I don't know how close your brother was to his father, but two days after his father died, your brother basically took out his own pain and ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend still has profile picture on facebook of us together 5 days after break up?
Q. We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago, he has been acting strange ever since. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the day after this saying how much he loves me etc....
A. 25 June 2016: He was wanting out for quite some time. No guy has answers like that for a girl unless he was already over with you before the conversation ever took place.
He was trying to get YOU to dump him by being such a jerk to you. Given that you didn... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!
Q. I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...
A. 24 June 2016: If he really had a thing for weight and obese women, he would have looked for a woman who already was heavy. This isn't about a fetish. It's about control. Every pound you have gained is another link in the chain he's putting on you.
THink... (read in full...)
I am really frustrated with my husband inability to handle marriage issues
Q. I am really frustrated with my husband inability to handle marriage issues. I am not the kind of woman that turns down sex from my man but yet I feel like ever since we married my husband puts in no effort causing me to think he will be tempted to ...
A. 23 June 2016: Your third paragraph really pissed me off. Not at YOU, but what the hell is his problem?? Throwing a pillow at YOU because he didn't get off?? It had nothing to do with how wet you are. If he had wanted to, you could have broken out the KY and ... (read in full...)
I am low on his list of priorities!
Q. I feel like my boyfriend does not have time for me anymore an am not sure of what to do! Basically there is a culture clash and his parents want him to have an arranged marriages which he has refused to do as he is with me But I feel like everyt...
A. 23 June 2016: He has a dealbreaking family baggage, and has let you know that you are Ms. Right Now. Basically, you are the receptacle of his Wild Oats until he tires of you and accepts the arranged marriage. Otherwise, he would bring you to his parents and ... (read in full...)
Can you please advise what to do? My lesbian partner has been exchanging explicit messages on line with a man
Q. I found explicit emails between my lesbian partner and a man on craigslist. I found some printed copies of her replies to a mans advert on craigslist. The man wanted to meet her for fun in exchange for money. My partner always brags about being ...
A. 21 June 2016: This one is so easy. Take gender out of this right now.
If she were emailing explicitly with another woman on Craigslight, you'd see her for a cheater and drop her at the slightest hint of her even thinking about justifying this behavior... (read in full...)
What can I do? Don't want it rubbed in my face. But she says I'm offloading my insecurities by being upset with her
Q. My friend upset me again talking about interacting with another man who she has a past with... I've covered with her in the past that she's to have as much fun as she can with whomever she feels like regardless that I'm mad about her. We have f...
A. 21 June 2016: You've been in prison of your own making for 5 years.
First of all, this has nothing to do with your "insecurity". To display insecurity means that you have something you should feel secure about.
For example - I'm married. If I constantly ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty? I told every one he has a "needle dick" after he was playing games with me!
Q. Should I feel guilty? Hi I'm Ellie and I'm seventeen years old. In a nutshell, I had this boyfriend we had a thing since september, so about 8 months. I met him when I moved schools for sixth form and we had chemistry right away. In Febuary I fou...
A. 20 June 2016: My advice is not to speak to him. Don't apologize. Don't talk to him anymore. Don't talk to his friends or yours about him. Close the chapter on this cheater and be done.
Here's why:
Both of you have fallen into the trap of bringing ever... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 20 June 2016: You'll always want something more. Say that she does start going down on you. You'll be in the 7th heaven for a time, until you start wanting something else.
What *if* that something else is anal? Will you again draw the line of "I won't ma... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to quit his job after only 1 week. I told him I'd break up with him if he does so!
Q. Hello, I would like your advice on whether I am being too harsh on my boyfriend. My boyfriend was without a job for quite some months and recently landed a customer service job. He has experience working in a call center environment before so hi...
A. 20 June 2016: Ultimatums backfire. That's why they are not good to use. And let's say he sticks with it...he will still lose respect for you. Manipulation is a low form of communication. What happens when his feelings for you wane, and you want to get your ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...
A. 20 June 2016: I'm not going to be mean to you, because there was something you said in your post that gives me hope for you! I know you don't really mean that your marriage is dependent on her giving oral. You wouldn't have been with her for 5 years if it all ... (read in full...)
How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention?
Q. How do I stop ending up with girls who ONLY want attention? The earlier posts are EXACTLY what I keep running into! They get all flirty, talk to me for hours, text me cute things all day and when we finally have sex or try to, they say I'm ONLY in ...
A. 19 June 2016: Your post says it all. Unless your view of women takes an earth-shattering, fundamental change, you shouldn't be dating them. You're having the problems you are because the women you're seeing are spotting the real you and not putting up with ... (read in full...)
Overwhelming depression has descended on me knowing my Bf will be away with his family until July. How can I stop this depression? What do I need to do about this?
Q. My boyfriend is away on a trip with his family. He hasn't even been gone two days and won't be back until the first week of July. I am not sure if this is normal but I am severely depressed. I have been crying a lot and have isolated myse...
A. 19 June 2016: Yes, first, recognize that what you're doing is NOT healthy.
He's on a trip, not dead!
You need to have a life of your own, with fulfilling things to do, and friends or family of your own to do them with.
Before you reach for junk food, kno... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with the right words to use in an email to tell her how much I like her. What would be the best way to do this?
Q. I'm an autistic male and find it hard to communicate with people and make friends and it's hard for me to write an email to someone, as it comes out as jumbled crap, as I've so many words in my head and when I write it out it comes out much worse as ...
A. 18 June 2016: I agree with AuntyBimBim. You're putting the cart before the horse. Right now, you're in the infatuation stage, and before you start gushing about your feelings for her TO her, you need to ask her out! Get to KNOW her. Right now, all the effort ... (read in full...)
My manager sent an angry text on my day off! How should I respond?
Q. My boss has sent me a shitty text message saying the following: "you have authorised 'john' to have this saturday off as holiday and not put anyone in at 8am, so as it stands, i cant enter the store. not your finest rota this week, needs impr...
A. 16 June 2016: There are two issues here. The first one is the rebuke, which is justified. The second one is his contacting you on your day off to rebuke you, which unless it's an emergency, is not cool.
As for your mistake, you don't have a leg to stand on... (read in full...)
My Bf has developed an interest in larger size women. I don't know how to respond to him about this. What are my options?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We're very open with each other sexually and emotionally, however a couple of months ago I noticed he had striked an interest in larger women (ie following Instagram and Twitter accounts...
A. 15 June 2016: Take the "large" part out of the equation because this isn't about his fascination with some weird fetish, and your focusing on it is allowing a prejudice to dilute the real situation:
What do we do when our partners go looking for others on datin... (read in full...)
Are his drunk words a red flag or simply a mistake?
Q. I'm dating someone I met online. He's normally very level headed and very good to me. But yesterday he posted a Facebook status while drunk which bothers me. It said "I f***ing hate it when one can't close out" which I believe he means he couldn't ...
A. 6 June 2016: I looked all over the urban definitions and club language, and the phrase "close out" itself, and being that he's at a nightclub when he posted that, it may be more accurate that he was trying to close out his bill, not "close the deal", as in ... (read in full...)
What would be causes of concern if your new BF said he had never dated before?
Q. So, I just started dating a guy, and I really like him. He is 29, dorky, cute, kind, compassionate, and we share a lot of the same interests. He is definitely a bit awkward. He confessed that he'd never been in a relationship before. When I as...
A. 5 June 2016: I once had a guy who said that to me.
We've been married for nearly 18 years.
There may be plenty of cause for concern with the guy you're dating, but that's not one of them.... (read in full...)
Why do girls ghost a guy who only treats them like a queen?
Q. Hi all, we'll my question is who an why they ghost us, to me girls if a guy, treats you bad then ghost him, if he hits you ghost him, if he is a drunk, drug addict,ghost him, if he doesn't have time for you, but he does for his friends, ghost ...
A. 1 June 2016: I want to answer your question, and I want to be as thorough and specific to your issue as I can. The phrase "treat her like a queen" is so broad that it can't be answered by that phrase alone.
Can you answer some specifics? What is her age? Ho... (read in full...)
He still lives with his ex. What can I do. ?
Q. Hi guys thanks for reading, I am open to all the advise you can give me. I have been dating this guy for a few weeks, but I barely get to spend time with him because he has a son. I haven't met his son yet I would like to but not till we are in a...
A. 1 June 2016: Male anon with the sick ex:
The difference between your situation and the OP's is that your ex knows that you're dating and knows who you date usually. You bring girls who spend the night at your place. That's not the case here. Deceptio... (read in full...)
He still lives with his ex. What can I do. ?
Q. Hi guys thanks for reading, I am open to all the advise you can give me. I have been dating this guy for a few weeks, but I barely get to spend time with him because he has a son. I haven't met his son yet I would like to but not till we are in a...
A. 31 May 2016: I don't know how to gently say this to you, so I'll just say it:
She's not an ex. She's nowhere near CLOSE to being an ex. He has conned you into swallowing a lie, because coming out and saying that he's cheating on his wife (there's a good bet... (read in full...)
I think I'm starting to hate my best friend.
Q. I really need some advice with a certain situation that my friend (we'll call her molly) got herself in to. We've been friends for about 5 years and we used to relate to each other so well. We were so close until about 4 months ago. That's when she ...
A. 31 May 2016: I know exactly how you feel. I *HATE* cheating, and I'm working very hard not to hate cheaters and their accomplices themselves, but as they say, being judgmental in this area is a weakness I spend my life trying to overcome and be a better person ... (read in full...)
I (F) upset my boyfriend and he's now being so cold with me. What do I do?
Q. I need advice on what to do about my boyfriend. Whenever we have an argument and I am slightly to blame, he gives me the silent treatment the next day and sometimes for a few days. He has mental health problems and I will admit that he is very ...
A. 31 May 2016: Trying to get him to forgive you is your first mistake. You do not need his forgiveness because you didn't do anything wrong. HE, on the other hand, has trained, conditioned, and emotionally abused you into walking on eggshells and believing that ... (read in full...)
When my BF was younger, before he knew me, he slept with some women who, then, were in their 40s. Why didn't he tell me earlier? I'm disgusted and very upset
Q. My boyfriend is older than I am. It seems like he loves me very much but yesterday, I found out that he slept with a couple of some who were in their forties when he was about twenty years old ( he slept with them at different times). This really h...
A. 29 May 2016: This is a prime reason why going into detail about a sexual past is a bad idea. He was under no obligation to tell you earlier because it was before the two of you were together. A sexual history is something everyone has, even if the sexual ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the woman I'm dating that I had an affair with a married co-worker?
Q. I need help, this has been driving me crazy recently, giving me endless sleepless nights. Ill set the context. Last August/September not other way of saying this other than I started having an affair with a married woman. Now im 26 and was free and...
A. 28 May 2016: I'm going to give you a "No, don't tell her" with conditions:
You weren't the one doing the cheating as you weren't married or with anyone, but you were an accomplice to *her* cheating. Make a point to commit to never being with another married ... (read in full...)
Should I hand my co-worker a note saying that I like him and would like to get to know him better?
Q. I like one of my co-workers.We work in completely unrelated departments.(we don't have work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a ...
A. 27 May 2016: Passing notes about liking boys belongs in middle school, not the workplace. It's unprofessional, and it could lead up to and including the eventual loss of your job, your livelihood, and your career reputation.
Leave romance OUT of your workplac... (read in full...)
My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...
A. 27 May 2016: If it were the other way around, what would your feelings be if your husband were to come to you and express a desire to have sex with a virgin girl??
This virgin guy in his 30's has a billion choices (I'm not exaggerating!) in unmarried, unattach... (read in full...)
How do I stop saying the wrong thing and convince H that I love her ?
Q. I've been dating H for five months and it's just gotten weird... With like all these things where she gets mad at me. First time, my friends said I could have been nicer about it but I think she was over sensitive. She got her braces adjusted ...
A. 24 May 2016: I don't think you know what love is. I'm going to be gentle with you because of your age, but you are interacting with her in a very self-centered way. You call her oversensitive. You're so worried she wants YOU to act a certain way, and the ... (read in full...)
Anxious every Friday that boyfriend will be drunk when I get home. What therapy will help me?
Q. Hi. Can anyone advise what type of therapy would help me. Every Friday I become so anxious wondering whether my boyfriend will be drunk when I get home I can hardly to my work. He knows I don't like it when he drinks too much and it usually ends in ...
A. 20 May 2016: Yeah, it's a lot simpler than medication!
If you don't want to suffer anxiety over a guy who drinks, then don't be WITH a guy who drinks! You're not chained to him, nor are you stuck there at gunpoint.
You can't change him. You can't argue ... (read in full...)
My wife speaks down to me and then belittles me when I tell her how I feel.
Q. My wife speaks down to me and then belittles me when I tell her how I feel. I don't know if I am being too sensitive or if I should stand-up for myself more. I don't want to get a divorce as I do love my wife, but there are times that I just ha...
A. 18 May 2016: Actually, she *is* responsible for how she speaks to you. No one is in a marriage to be another person's salve. That's the lie - you're not there to MAKE her happy. Happiness is the responsibility of the individual, not their partner.
She's... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed with my girlfriend's weight and health, any suggestions?
Q. So we've been going out for a few months with this girl and in the beginning, we promised each other that we'll make lifestyle changes. I used to drink quite a lot before her and also smoked quite a lot. She was overweight (she should lose at l...
A. 18 May 2016: At only 3 months, it sounds like what you were hoping for was some sort of support group accountability partner, not a girlfriend. When you start dating, you need to accept them as they are, and they need to accept you as you are.
To go into ... (read in full...)
He says titles are irrelevant. Red flag?
Q. I’ve been dating someone from online for 1.5 months. Yesterday (after a few drinks on his end) he asked me why I like him. I thought that was an awkward question to answer and that it was weird he insisted to know. But then he said “I can’t tell ...
A. 17 May 2016: This isn't about titles. This is about baggage. You brought some heavy baggage into this, and he brought baggage into this.
You just started dating, and you both would choose to sabotage it because of things that happened in your past. That's q... (read in full...)
Is it Me or is it Society?
Q. I feel restricted by society. As a male I am told to be confident. But when I walk with my head held high, with chest out I am judged and labeled arrogant. Told that if I am submissive women will not like me. Then when I assert myself (in general)I ...
A. 12 May 2016: You're not an animal. We live in civilization with laws against assault and battery. Being assertive or aggressive doesn't mean to get your fists out and do damage.
There's also a chain of command in the workforce, and you answer to bosses u... (read in full...)
What’s the best response to a break up message?
Q. If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...
A. 12 May 2016: Of course it depends on the reason for the breakup, but if there was no cheating, and it was a breakup, I wouldn't cry, scream, or do anything to compromise my dignity in front of the guy or in a message or phone call or whatever (face to face is ... (read in full...)
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