Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 29 September 2018: It is clear that you don't trust what he tells you, and you have no right to go through his phone and invade his privacy my guess is that this is not going to work out.... (read in full...)
Dating apps and cheating in a long distance relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years. It has been long distance since 2014 due to work and family issues on his side. I can work remotely, so have been backwards and forwards from Ireland, where my family lives and where I usually ...
A. 17 September 2018: OP thank you for the update. I am so glad to read that you have done the right thing. It sounds like a light bulb has went off in your head and you can see it all clearly now. I am very happy for you. Off course it is still hard because you had true ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 17 September 2018: It sounds to me like you are continuously making excuses for him. If this is all in your head and you are paranoid for no good reason then you need to ask yourself why? I mean you posted saying he was on a dating app and now you are saying he ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past
Q. Hi there I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I'm in a long term relationship with this wonderful man - very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded p...
A. 17 September 2018: You only left your marriage a year ago so I am unsure how this can be described as a long term relationship. Also you left an abusive marriage (well done in finding the strength to do so). But what is worrying me now is he is showing signs off abuse ... (read in full...)
Why block someone and not delete them?
Q. My ex and i split up 8 months ago i never thought id see or speak to him again. A couple of month back we slept together ( both wanted it ) but before we did we were talking about how we could try again. We started to talk a little more over the...
A. 17 September 2018: I think you are over analyzing this. He probably thought blocking you would also delete you, I doubt he is playing games! You are reading to much in to it. You have done the right thing deleting him, not try and remember it is always a bad idea to ... (read in full...)
I want my mother to move in with us so I can take care of her
Q. Hi everyone. My fiance and I are in the process of moving back to my home state and purchasing a house there. It is a relatively large house and we have more than enough space to start a family. My mom is not in the best of health. She recen...
A. 13 September 2018: My goodness if you want to actually have a life with him you are going around it the wrong way. You say that you want to help her have an easy life yet you then say you want her help raising your children. If she is not in a healthy state the last ... (read in full...)
How could he move on so quickly?
Q. I ended my relationship with my ex back in February not because we no longer loved each other but because we both had different out looks on life. Realistically it wasn't going to work. I left our house and moved back home. My ex was distraught and ...
A. 11 September 2018: I remember commenting on one off your posts before. It seems nothing has changed. You got some great advice last time to block and delete all contact so that you are not making life harder for yourself but you obviously haven't done that and you are ... (read in full...)
I want child number 5 but hubby says he is done!
Q. I have 4 children with my husband, 2 have not been planned and 2 have. He’s been indicating ‘no more’ since our second. Our third child we were using condoms and he didn’t use a condom one time which resulted in the third child. Being the complete ...
A. 11 September 2018: If he is not wanting any more children then you both really need to sit down and talk like adults. Leaving it up to fate might not be a good idea if you fall pregnant and he wants an abortion. These things need to be spoke about properly. Yes what ... (read in full...)
I kissed my ex when on a break from my boyfriend!
Q. I need help, me and my boyfriend always break up and this time I thought we broke up for good, but no. He came back like always. But while we broke up I kissed my ex. And I feel so bad about it but I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he ...
A. 11 September 2018: If you are always breaking up then you need to ask yourself why? This is not normal for a relationship, so obviously it is not working. You need to ask yourself can you see a future with this?
As for lying to him, what you do when single is none... (read in full...)
DId I ruin a good thing by commenting on his social media and being petty?
Q. Hey guys, I'm in a dilemma with a guy. So the beginning of August, I start talking to this college athlete that goes to the neighboring school. Everything is great, affection, attention, dates, sex and spending time. Until about a week ago, he pos...
A. 10 September 2018: Honestly I fail to understand why you would do that. I am married and I would never dream off liking comments that people have wrote to my husband. He is not my property so why would I respond to comments that where for him. I can understand totally ... (read in full...)
Do I leave a new job after only 5 months? It seems to be a bad fit
Q. I feel conflicted as I just took a new job in April and after only 5 months it seems to be a bad fit. The department is very cliquey and back-stabbish, I feel like I don't fit in, one of the people has been very rude to my face and plays it off as ...
A. 10 September 2018: If work is giving you this much hassle then it really is not worth it. As you say you have a mortgage to pay so you need to work, therefore if it was me then I would start looking for another job straight away, once something comes up then you can ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling cringy and insecure about texts I sent
Q. I am cringing because i sent a 'I missed you text as well as a follow up text saying that he doesnt have to say it back to me if he doesnt feel like it.' I started saying I miss you last week, so it's something new in our relationship. It's be...
A. 10 September 2018: There is no harm in telling someone you miss them, its not like you declared your undying love for him. Although following up saying if he doesn't want to say the same its fine comes across as a bit desperate and needy. Try not to over think these ... (read in full...)
Why do I get so turned off after sexual contact?
Q. I am male and am 21 years old. I'm currently on the dating scene but whenever I'm with someone it seems to be that I am lusting them and after it gets any further I get an immense feeling to be with them sexually, then after any sexual contact is ...
A. 10 September 2018: I think your friends are right. You should take your time to get to know a girl. There is nothing wrong in waiting and maybe if you had genuine feelings involved with a girl you would feel differently. You are still young so don't put pressure on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 10 September 2018: You could ask him yes, but he could also spin you a load off lies. If he is on there to check if you are then there is obviously no trust in the relationship and it is doomed anyway. Sweetie relationships shouldn't be like this. The biggest thing is ... (read in full...)
I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?
Q. Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...
A. 10 September 2018: She is keeping in contact with a pedophile? That says a lot about her. I can understand from the little you have wrote why her family has disowned her. I am sorry you sound like a nice guy, and you are right she is intelligent she saw that you are ... (read in full...)
Men never seem to notice me
Q. I am 23 and never had a boyfriend or dated anyone before. Men never seem to notice me. They never approach me or hit on me. Whenever I try to hit on a guy, they just don't seem interested in me back. I have been to bars and men just ignore me or see ...
A. 8 September 2018: When you say you hit on guys, how do you approach them? Could you be more specific on what you do and how you know they are not interested? As for meeting men in bars, it is never a good idea! I always think it is the worst place to look for a ... (read in full...)
My 5 year daughter's friends show each other their private parts
Q. I have a 5 year old daughter, and yesterday she came to me saying that boys and even girls show each other their private parts. They are all 5, and i was shocked about it. She told me that 3 boys and 1 girl were asking her if they can show my daugh...
A. 8 September 2018: I get that you where shocked nobody wants to hear that from there five year old.
I get that she was embarrassed, but you need to remember that these children are also only five. They are innocent and probably curious about there bodies. At that... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 8 September 2018: This is a lot off drama for a guy you have only met a few months ago!! He made a joke and you argued about it? Honestly that was a bit of a over reaction don't you think? Are you always this sensitive when you meet a new guy? You need to relax a bit ... (read in full...)
Best friend forgot my birthday
Q. My best friend from college has been there for me through thick and thin. We’ve been friends for 9 years now. This week she forgot my birthday. She didn’t say anything, send a card or even apologize. I don’t think she has any idea. Last month...
A. 8 September 2018: No don't confront her, we don't give to receive. Yes it would have been nice if she made the effort and yes it is okay to feel disappointed but it is not enough to end a friendship or cause an argument. She might have things going on in her life at ... (read in full...)
Dating apps and cheating in a long distance relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years. It has been long distance since 2014 due to work and family issues on his side. I can work remotely, so have been backwards and forwards from Ireland, where my family lives and where I usually ...
A. 8 September 2018: Honestly I am amazed that you are still with him. The first time he lied to you I would have been out that door. It is as clear as day that he has no respect for you, it is him not his colleague or friend. You know deep down he is a liar, I could ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 8 September 2018: End it. He is lying to you and obviously looking for another partner. He is more than likely staying with you until he someone else comes along that he has more interest in. Don't allow him to treat you like this, you deserve so much better.... (read in full...)
Is this relationship based on sex?
Q. I am in a weird relationship with a 48 year old man. I lost my virginity to him but lied I was on my period. I had sex because I was ready to and do not feel an ounce of guilt. All I wanted from him was to have sex, get over with the pain and move ...
A. 8 September 2018: Stop accepting his money and his control over you. Don't allow him to treat you like this. It is clear for him this is sex only, he gives you what he feels you want and he gets sex. Is this really how you see a relationship? Think more off yourself, ... (read in full...)
Is she worth pursuing?
Q. I'm in a really low place right now. I've been dating a girl for the past 4 months ( I'm 30 she's 26) and during the past month she's grown incredibly distant. She only texts me when I text her now, sometimes it takes her days to reply, she never ...
A. 8 September 2018: Her behavior is screaming that you are not that important to her. You make all the effort and she doesn't make any. Maybe she did at the start, but after a time apart she probably started forgetting about you. It has only been 10 dates and you are ... (read in full...)
How should I not feel so worried about maybe not getting a text or phone call back?
Q. I have a friend who has recently gone away to university so I wont see her for a few months . im hoping to see her when shes back but im really worried that she will meet new friends and forget about me because I know this can happen . I'm really ...
A. 8 September 2018: You need to relax. Yes she will make new friends, but why are you so worried she will forget about you? There doesn't seem any reason why she would and you are working yourself up for no reason. I would suggest that you go out and make new friends ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in wanting us to cut back on our weed expenses? I
Q. So my husband works to keep me at the moment he literally pays for almost everything (including holidays, clothes, materialistic things etc) But bare in mind I don't ask him for that he just does it. I'm unable to work at the moment due to my severe ...
A. 8 September 2018: You don't ask him to be a kept woman, but if he didn't do it for you then who else would? Honestly it must be tough on him having the burden off financially supporting the both off you. Credit to him, you found a decent man. Before you blame the ... (read in full...)
He’s going away for the weekend with one of his best female friends!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months,we knew each other before though and its pretty serious. Everything has been good but there is one thing Im not comfortable with and its that hes going away for the weekend with one of his best girl ...
A. 8 September 2018: I get why this makes you feel uncomfortable. You are both serious with each other and it is strange for you him and another girl going away together. Have you asked could you and maybe a friend off yours join as well? Maybe it could be a fun weekend ... (read in full...)
Please help me figure out why I am so upset about being ghosted by an old friend.
Q. Please help me figure out why I am so upset about being ghosted by an old friend. I met Ann in high school. We were very close our senior year. We went to colleges in different states, but kept in touch. After college, we moved to differe...
A. 8 September 2018: Please don't feel stupid. It just sounds to me like you where that friend she checked in on now and again, but she has now just stopped the contact and let it frizzle out. Off course it will hurt, it is rude not to reply to your well wishes, maybe ... (read in full...)
I have an IUD and we don't have condoms so why did I find them in my boyfriend's things?
Q. Me an my fiance have been together for almost 10 years we are in our 20s an have a daughter an wanting more kids lol but we were going to bed when he comes in an puts his cigarettes an that down an he leaves the room an I look were he put them cuz ...
A. 7 September 2018: Sounds really suspicious to me. You both don't use them so why on earth would they be in his pocket? I would be looking for other signs. There must have been some reason you thought to look through his pockets. If he is acting shady I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Does my best friend like me as more than a friend?
Q. I’m 16 and my bestfriend just recently turned 17. We are best friends. But recently, I have noticed some interesting things going on. He has been telling me that he loves me, he misses me, and lots of heart emojis. We have been bestfriends for ...
A. 7 September 2018: It is impossible as strangers to know how he feels about you. The question is how do you feel about him? It is clear to see that you are both close, and yes he may very well like you. But can you see yourself dating him? ... (read in full...)
I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?
Q. Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...
A. 7 September 2018: Why have you been supporting her for 6 months? While I agree it was wrong to read her private journal you cannot take that back now, however she has been disloyal to you keeping in contact with her ex and keeping it from you. How long have you both ... (read in full...)
His family hired lazy useless employees and I need to know how to cope!
Q. My partner and I have always had a wonderful relationship. We've been together a very long time. This year, he and his family opened a business. His parents made the decisions about the staff they're hiring and what they're paying, without ...
A. 6 September 2018: Honestly I can see why your partner is stressed. He is trying to please his parents and he is listening to you complain at the same time. It sounds like he is trying to do his best. But you are right things do need to change, there is no point ... (read in full...)
Am I stuck up for wanting basic things?
Q. I'm been with my bf for a year and half. He lives with his mum still and now built a cabin in his mums garden and says he plans to stay there. I am not happy about staying there with no bathroom, kitchen, space for my things but he says I am stuck ...
A. 6 September 2018: No you are not stuck up for wanting to have a place together. However this man doesn't seem to want the same thing as you. He is happy and content living in the cabin, being close to his mother and helping her with her rent. If he is not willing to ... (read in full...)
Does this indicate that there is more than a friendship or just nothing to worry about?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend has a female friend which happens to be his accountant but he told me they are also friends,they around the same age group, he is older than me, when my bf did his housewarming get together he invited me and my family plus his ...
A. 6 September 2018: This is a forum where people ask for advice and then they follow up on there post. But you don't do that. You keep writing in time and time again about the same problem but you change it up every time maybe in hope you will get the answers that you ... (read in full...)
How do I enforce boundaries with my sister?
Q. This post is not about my romantic relationship per se, but more about my sister and how it is affecting my life as a whole. To give a little background, I have been living with my sister(~7 years older) and a friend for past 6 years. I am ...
A. 6 September 2018: It sounds like she is jealous off you. In her own warped views she cares about you but then she belittles you and takes you down and that is not okay. The only suggestion I have for you is to grin and bare it if you need to for the next four months ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being a glutton for punishment?
Q. I was involved with attached guy for over a year.I'm not sure if he is actually married or common law but he lives with his kids mother and thier twin boys.When we met he told me that their relationship was over but just trying to figure out what's ...
A. 6 September 2018: Try and think off his two children would you really want to take their daddy away from them? It is clear he is still very much in a marriage, he just choose to feed you a pile of lies to get you in to bed. Honestly his wife and children deserve ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to help support him as he tries to strengthen his knee!
Q. Hello I would like your opinion on this. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We live in the USA, he lives in the East Coast, while I live in the West Coast. We've been together for about three years. My boyfriend injured himself ...
A. 6 September 2018: No please don't give him any money, his story really doesn't add up. How much time do you both actually spend together? Plus why after three years are you both still long distance? ... (read in full...)
He keeps using dating apps!
Q. I keep catching my fella using dating apps. First he denies it and calls me paranoid, then he says it is me who goes on them and that is why i am so suspicious, then he admits it and says it is just for a laugh and has not any intention of meeting ...
A. 6 September 2018: It is as clear as day that he has no respect for you. The moment you found this out you should have ended it. Yes you may love him, but he certainly doesn't love you, he is keeping his options open. You are allowing him to do this because you remain ... (read in full...)
She's had more sexual experience than I have. Will I regret it later?
Q. I'm a 25 year old guy, my girlfriend is 33. We've been on/off for a year and have quite a strong bond (we broke up once, recently rekindled it, now its getting serious again. No other partners in the inbetween) I have a real problem with our...
A. 6 September 2018: I don't understand why you would feel the need to want to pull random women but hey that is obviously what you want to do at the moment. Which obviously means you are not in the right head space to commit to this woman. A midlife crisis at 30?? That ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend cheat on me?
Q. I’m 43yrs of age I been with my girlfriend for 14yrs an she is 32yrs of age. for the last few months we been having alot of great sex like everyday then one day for 3hrs she went to work and next day we had sex an her vagina was alittle opening ...
A. 6 September 2018: I cannot believe at 43 years off age you are asking a silly question like this. I am actually gobsmacked. If it was someone who has had sex for the first few times at a young age I would be reassuring them but come on you must know that your claims ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable that I don't want to know about his personal masterbation habits?
Q. I hope this question is not too vulgar. It's actually quite personal and embarrassing but I'm not sure how to handle my situation most effectively without some advice. I'm sorry for the length. It's a two part question i guess. A few weeks ag...
A. 5 September 2018: If you have issues with porn why on earth did you introduce it in to your relationship and feel the need to have total control over it? Honestly it is not every mans dream. I have never once watched porn with my husband and I never intend to, even ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to ask of my b/f not to watch violent movies when he knows that it triggers me because of my past?
Q. A year ago i went though a trauma. My ex beat me black and blue and strangled me repeatedly in a spontaneous rage. It took a few months for him to begin serving prison time, and so my feelings of safety were further compromised during that period ...
A. 5 September 2018: He simply doesn't understand your issues. It is your home so he should respect your rules. It is all still clear in your mind and you need more intense therapy to regain control over the triggers that you have. However I don't think it is the best ... (read in full...)
What is there that I can do/say that will get him to wake the freak up out of this angry hostile mood hes been holding onto for a good 3-4 years towards me?
Q. Well heres the situation that I need advice on to see if im in the wrong on this one or not. Ive been in a relationship with this guy for over 5 years now. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship does. But the main concern I was hit ...
A. 5 September 2018: He is an alcoholic, and nothing you can say or do is going to change that. It amazes me that you have put up with this for so long. He blames you so that he can make an excuse as to why he is drinking while in charge off innocent children. Honestly ... (read in full...)
I lied about my age. Can I salvage this relationship?
Q. Hello, Im new to the Dear Cupid community. I never thought I would resort to a site like this but I really want to save my relationship or get advice whether or not my relationship is worth saving. I know this entry will be a lengthy one.. so...
A. 5 September 2018: You might very well love her but this relationship is not healthy for either of you. You don't trust each other. If she wants to go somewhere alone then she should be able to do that without any issues from you. It sounds to me like you are her ... (read in full...)
Brother got support, I got torn down?
Q. When growing my dad was hard on both of us. When my brother got lectures, it was more of "I know you can do better". My lectures consisted of getting completely torn down, getting told I'd be obese (5'5, 135 pounds, no weight issues ever), that I ...
A. 5 September 2018: Your Dad is abusive. There is no excuse ever to treat your children like that. It will have lasting effects. I think you should maybe seek some therapy so that you can deal with these issues and see that you are not what he said you are. Off course ... (read in full...)
| *unt honesty's friends
These are mutual friends, so *unt honesty has
added them and they have added *unt honesty!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
