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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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22 year old girl with confidence issues
Q. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have always had huge problems with confidence. My main problem is that i get embarrassed and shy and my cheeks go red. It bothers me so much. Especially when i have to make contact with people or i...
A. 21 October 2011: I have a website for you to try: http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome I have tried it and it has some usefulness and may help you gain some coping skills. Let me know if it is of any use.... (read in full...)
How do I get closure, heal, move on?
Q. I'm struggling to move on from my "first love" ...and its been almost four years. So it happened a month before my 15th birthday. I was so stupid and naive, I thought this guy really loved me and wanted to be with me. In hind sight everything...
A. 21 October 2011: Ah, you never told him how you felt then, or couldn't get him to give you the time to make him understand how you felt?
How old was he when was such an idiot? Same age as you? A year or two older?
I think one thing to consider is how mature h... (read in full...)
22 year old girl with confidence issues
Q. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have always had huge problems with confidence. My main problem is that i get embarrassed and shy and my cheeks go red. It bothers me so much. Especially when i have to make contact with people or i...
A. 21 October 2011: I'll tell you a big deep dark secret of life: most people who seem super-confident are faking it. You just have to learn to do it in a convincing way yourself.
I suggest learning some breathing techniques that will help keep your anxiety at bay,... (read in full...)
Are my dreams revealing an inability to have sexual fantasies?
Q. Hi there, I have a question about dreams. In particular, dreams of a sexual or intimate nature. Whenever I have a dream of this kind, I find that something always happens to interrupt or stop the 'action' before anything happens. This could be an...
A. 21 October 2011: "To dream that you do not achieve orgasm, signifies some frustration in your life. Something is leaving you unfulfilled and unsatisfied. Note that the frustration may not necessarily be sexually related."
I stole that from a site that came up on G... (read in full...)
There are no boundaries for his ex and I'm always left waiting!
Q. Dear Cupid; I dated a man for a little over a year. Early in the relationship, he had dumped me for a old girlfriend and when that didn't work out, came back to me. He also has a teenage son who he has 50% of the time. They have things they do ...
A. 21 October 2011: He sounds clueless and rude. I expect he doesn't up and walk out when he should leave because he is being polite.
Remember, he has a long history with the ex if she's the mother of his teenage son. That's something that a new woman will have to deal... (read in full...)
Why did this player start laughing so loud after we had sex?
Q. hi, I was having sex with this player..we enjoy the chemistry between us and he just cannot commit. Anyhow, my question is not about commitment but about sex. We've had sex several times over the years..Usually it is sensual and soooo much chemi...
A. 21 October 2011: Does it matter why he laughed? Will it hurt or damage your self-esteem either way?
I think most people laugh from pleasure. There are some strange ones who laugh because they are sarcastic. Assume from pleasure, smile and go on about your life with... (read in full...)
How do I get closure, heal, move on?
Q. I'm struggling to move on from my "first love" ...and its been almost four years. So it happened a month before my 15th birthday. I was so stupid and naive, I thought this guy really loved me and wanted to be with me. In hind sight everything...
A. 20 October 2011: "So how do I get closure, do I talk it out with him and get the answers I need or do I just leave it alone and try to fight the fight i've been fighting for almost four years?"
Don't bother trying to get him to give you closure, that has to come... (read in full...)
Are we FWB or something more? So confused!
Q. Hi everyone here is my problem its a bit complicated. I met this man in march this year, we started having sex. I went out one night, he got jealous he thought I'd met someone else which I hadn't I told him I only wanted to be with him cos I thought ...
A. 20 October 2011: Sorry, I have to agree with the others that this is purely sex for him. If you haven't discussed exclusivity and used the labels boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/whatever indicates commitment, then he is not committed to YOU, despite what you may ... (read in full...)
Her dad caught us in a compromsing situation, now I'm worried about how awkward its going to be when I meet him properly!
Q. I have been dating a girl for a few months now, we are both 22 yrs old. She is a complete daddys girl and always talks about how over protective her dad is. At the very beginning of our relationship I spent the night and when I was leaving in the ...
A. 20 October 2011: "Hello, sir, nice to meet you." Look him in the eye and shake his hand firmly. Do not get flustered or look dodgy by failing to make eye contact. Be a man, you are in love with his daughter and have done nothing wrong. Stand tall, be respectful and ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has history of anoxia, has low body self-image, how do I boost her confidence?
Q. My girlfriend had a very serious problem with anorexia in her teens, requiring hospitalization. To the best of my knowledge, she's been at a healthy weight for the last 16 years or so. Although she still has a "complicated" relationship with food, ...
A. 20 October 2011: Why not tell her how being with her makes you FEEL? Rather than focus on the visual, which is the guy thing, focus on your experience being WITH her. And as the anon poster said, whenever she asks how she looks, tell her she is gorgeous and you ... (read in full...)
My wife's old journal mentioned sex with her ex and now my imagination is making me jealous
Q. I was wondering if you could answer a couple of questions: I recently found my wife's journal, and of course I should have put it down but I read part of it and she had a section in there about sex with her Ex... She was quoted as saying "I have ...
A. 20 October 2011: You owe your wife a huge apology for reading her journal without her permission, by the way. How would you like it if she was allowed into your private past thoughts, would your previous opinions of other women or even her meet entirely with her ... (read in full...)
My wife's old journal mentioned sex with her ex and now my imagination is making me jealous
Q. I was wondering if you could answer a couple of questions: I recently found my wife's journal, and of course I should have put it down but I read part of it and she had a section in there about sex with her Ex... She was quoted as saying "I have ...
A. 20 October 2011: You are looking at this with an obsessing male brain. "I have never made love like that before" with a new boyfriend after an awful one means that she felt loved, not that he was some super porn star stud type. Women want to feel cherished and ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?
Q. I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...
A. 20 October 2011: Are you really sure you should be dating a self-confessed recovering sex addict if your past experiences and situation would be the worst possible combination? What has counseling taught you about your insecurities? Or are you one of those "do-it-y... (read in full...)
Can't find the perfect woman (or near perfect woman).....
Q. I'm quite a perfectionist, granted. I've had several girlfriends throughout my twenties so far but I can't seem to find the 'complete package'. My ex girlfriend was perfect in respect to the fact that we had an amazing physical connection from ...
A. 20 October 2011: "Is it possible to find someone who is reasonably good in bed and is intelligent?"
Yes, I had to wait until I was in my mid 30s. Hang in there. By the way, just like I tell the men posters on here, women are not mind readers. If you want some... (read in full...)
What does this man want from me?
Q. I really need help in this... i have been writing about this problem for several months.. and this is an update on what really happened lately.. I am a dancer, and my dance instructor made many hints that i don't really understand.. he ...
A. 20 October 2011: 1- he asked me if i was still with my ex boyfriend and i said not anymore.. then he answered me: OH THANK GOD! HE DOESN'T SUIT YOU AT ALL!!! [He's thinking, 'oh good, I don't have to worry about a boyfriend or fiance making trouble later.']... (read in full...)
My fiance slapped me. Should I dump him?
Q. im engaged and my weve been together for 3 Years. Yesterday we got in a argument and i told him something that pissed him off and he slapped me in the face twice. He has a bad temper but that was overboard.at the moment i told him that i was done ...
A. 20 October 2011: I would ignore him. Focus on getting yourself healthy and mentally strong. Realize that his slapping you twice is abuse and will probably only get worse. You deserve better than this type of treatment.
I would tell him that he needs to go to coun... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts?
Q. I recently started dating this girl. At first, I just wanted to sleep with her. She refused. I try at a later date, she refuses me. So I can see here is a girl who really respects herself. Interesting. I become more interested because of this. She ...
A. 20 October 2011: I think you are wasting her time, and yours. You want one outcome, she's looking for another. Respect the differences and move on.... (read in full...)
Army wives and girlfriends - do they ALL cheat when soldiers are deployed?
Q. I am in th army and I leave for deployment in less then 3 weeks. My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months, we have a great relationship. This will the first time either one of us will eb dating someone who is deployed. a few ...
A. 20 October 2011: My nieces who served in Iraq were not cheated on by their husbands. Maybe you have some opportunistic or jealous friends who are hoping to ruin your relationship by making you doubt her? Sounds like you should take a closer look at your friends ... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 14 October 2011: You mean she has caught you out more than once? Did you promise never to do it again and then went and did it again?
I think I know what the problem is.
She is more stubborn than you are. She is out-stubborning you. You can't win a stubborn... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 14 October 2011: Remind me how she found out? And how did you react when she confronted you the very first time?... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 14 October 2011: You keep saying you didn't cheat. I think that you're trying to rewrite HER history of your actions. You think you didn't cheat. She thinks you did. You think she's wrong. You are trying to force her into YOUR frame. You can't win this argument ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?
Q. I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...
A. 13 October 2011: Have you noticed if she drinks too much or uses drugs, prescription or otherwise, while you've been dating?
My observation is that saying "I love you" after 6 weeks of exclusive dating seems a bit accelerated. How long had you known her before you ... (read in full...)
She had sex before we met, now I can't trust her.
Q. Hi everyone. I need some advise on what I should do. I have been with this girl for the last 5 years. The problem is that I cant resepct her or do anything nice for her. She has a past, she lost her virginity when she was 15 years old and stayed in ...
A. 13 October 2011: Go seek professional help. This is beyond a bunch of well-intentioned amateur agony aunts telling you things you should already know by now:
"Stop calling her names." "Stop abusing her."
Take a break from being in a relationship, go talk to someo... (read in full...)
Can retroactive jealousy turn into violence?
Q. can retroactive jealousy eventually turn into the male or female to get violent?...
A. 12 October 2011: I think poor impulse control is what makes people turn violent. Retroactive jealous is just one thing that might trigger a potential abuser.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 12 October 2011: Goodness, he is quite the drama-queen, isn't he? Manipulative and mean, not to mention incredibly selfish. I guess some people never mature, no matter their age. You'll be growing up and he'd be stuck in his stage of arrested development.
I'd bloc... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 12 October 2011: You did the right thing and you are not a bad person. I pushed the enter button before I had finished my post!
Do you have a lot of mutual friends on FB who will ask you what is going on? I think you might feel more comfortable to have an answ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 12 October 2011: Is he really 50? That post certainly sounds like a guy who is very immature and needs a lot of attention, be it negative or positive. So I guess your family will see it too? And know he's talking about you?... (read in full...)
Our long distance relationship is totally one sided
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now, but have dated on and off for the past year and a half. We are both 18 years old, and we met in high school. For the past 8 or so months, everything was great. We would see each other ...
A. 12 October 2011: 'Is there something I can do or say to attempt to let her know how I feel?' "Samantha, I want to talk for a few minutes, please just listen and don't try to start thinking of replies before I've said what I feel I need to say. Just listen, and be w... (read in full...)
If I'm tearing up photos of my ex does this mean I am over him?
Q. Myself and my ex have now been apart for 5 months now and recently i have been coming across photos of him but instead of leaving them alone i have been tearing them in half and putting them in the bin and have not felt no remorse does this mean im ...
A. 12 October 2011: Sounds like it! I think what you are doing is just cleaning his debris from your life. There may be the odd setback every now and again when you feel more keenly a loss but from what you've written, you're on the the road to "over him." ... (read in full...)
She has my number but hasn't contacted me... Girls, how long before she might contact me?
Q. Im a 20 something guy and want to get female opinions on something. I know usually 'guy gets girl tel number and it goes from there' - but 3 days ago a situation happened - where I helped a girl in a tricky situation, and followed it up by writin d...
A. 12 October 2011: I think you would have heard from her by now. Sorry. If she has a boyfriend, the chances get atomically tiny. Like infinitesimal. She would have to explain you, and whatever the sticky situation was to him and that would be too much for most gir... (read in full...)
My wife is the breadwinner now and wants me to be a house-husband, should I do it?
Q. Hi I m from Detroit city age 35. I lost my job couple of years back because of the recession ; haven't been able to find another one. However, my wife,33, has a great job with big fat pay package. Surprisingly, she got a promotion during the rece...
A. 12 October 2011: What have you been doing with yourself since you lost your job? (Sorry to hear that, it's tough in lots of places.) Lets run the daily hours you two have and what happens: 6-7a She - gets ready for work.... He - ??? 7-8a She - commutes to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 11 October 2011: He knows it's coming. The reason it took 2 hours to break up with him is that he was probably trying to talk you out of it.
A few things. One, you are not his counselor, his shoulder to cry on, his confidante any longer. This is non-negotiable. He w... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel resentful when someone makes you feel responsible for their personal happiness?
Q. I am with a wonderful man whom I love very much. We are in a long-distance relationship but he is endlessly sweet, thoughtful, and loving to me. We talk every day on Skype. In most ways I feel I could not ask for a better man. But. He has been hurt ...
A. 11 October 2011: Is this you? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-i-might-be-falling-out-of.html
I'm actually happy to hear that you broke up with him. Look, flat out. There is something creepy and wrong about a 50 year old guy, dating a 19 year old onli... (read in full...)
Why is he talking to women online and getting nude pictures?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for 4 yrs now and have two young children together, one just two months. I recently found him on a website and his profile shows single looking to meet. i also found pics of another girl, some nude, on his phone. ...
A. 11 October 2011: There's an interesting thread from another "tb" here, from the cheating guys perspective: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/emotional-affairs.html
Reading that post may not answer your title question but perhaps it would show some of the moti... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: I'd be interested to hear how you advise this other "tb" poster: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-he-talking-to-women-online-and.html
Perhaps you can explain to her why you did it? I'd be interested to see your response to this ques... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: ""i know she is busy but im pretty sure she must have 1 second to reply." Of course she does. She chooses not to reply. Pay attention. She is keeping you away because you are being annoying.
You're like some emotional vampire that needs her bein... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: "Why would you wanna be apart from the man you loved, struggling with 5 children and being alone?"
I can think of lots of reasons.
No drama. No man pestering you for anything, one less meal to worry about, no wondering where he is and what he might... (read in full...)
Should I end this relationship or keep being patient?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a year now. I am 23 and he is 36. I know that his past relationship was serious and his girlfriend left him because her father wanted her to marry someone with money. I have been extremely patient with him. It ...
A. 11 October 2011: Hi Chelsey, I think your question sounds like a good one to ask him. It signals that you want more intimacy from him and are prepared to be patient.
The thing that worries me is that his depression may not actually be managed. If he spends all his ... (read in full...)
Intimacy problems
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months now. He's lovely and we get on really well. Thing is, after 5 months together there's still been no intimacy. He'll give me a kiss (peck on the lips) straight away when we meet, then the same again when we ...
A. 11 October 2011: Definitely suss to me too. I think you may have found the real reason.
I think if I were in your shoes, it would be time to thank him for the nice times you've spent together, and move on. He's not going to give you the level of intimacy you are ... (read in full...)
Why is he talking to women online and getting nude pictures?
Q. My fiance and I have been together for 4 yrs now and have two young children together, one just two months. I recently found him on a website and his profile shows single looking to meet. i also found pics of another girl, some nude, on his phone. ...
A. 11 October 2011: You're not doing anything wrong. He is the one who can't seem to stop his hurtful behavior and I think if you haven't been to counseling it's time to go.
I think some guys just want the thrill and the sleaze of it adds to it. Kind of sad, real... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: You may have decided she's the one. It sounds like she doesn't believe in "the one" thing.... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: Have you been to counseling? Have you made a couples counselor appointment for you and her?... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: If you apply your last paragraph to your statement that you left your first partner, it pretty well destroys your own argument. Why didn't you stick around and try to make that work?
You've decided she is the one. She's decided you are not. If you ... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: It doesn't sound as though she believes in destiny in the way you do. Many people do not, it's not an unusual or unreasonable point of view. She must be more of a practical person and less of a dreamer.
The girls' father moved on beca... (read in full...)
Should I end this relationship or keep being patient?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a year now. I am 23 and he is 36. I know that his past relationship was serious and his girlfriend left him because her father wanted her to marry someone with money. I have been extremely patient with him. It ...
A. 11 October 2011: I'd say that after a year, at his age, he knows whether or not he wants to be intimate with you. Based on what you've written, I think there is some impediment to his being able to do this.
One thought I had is that he's gay, but doesn't want to b... (read in full...)
Emotional affairs...
Q. via text, emails, pictures and dating sites, women, is it really that bad when a man does it? even after a year my ex still goes on about it when i ask her to start again and see how we get on. silly cow isnt interested and just uses these as an ...
A. 11 October 2011: I've re-read some of your previous posts. I have a suspicion that she was looking for a reason to dump you and you handed it to her by the acts you chose to engage in. She's not taking you back because she's moving on. Sounds like she's managed to ... (read in full...)
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