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*91 agony aunt


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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Afraid to commit

No replies yet...

8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [73 pages, 2866 answers]

I am really in love with my male teacher. should I date him?

Q.   i am really in love with my male teacher. should i date him?...

A.   18 June 2021: There is no way this would end well and could potentially end up in your teacher being sacked. ... (read in full...)

He sulks and is only nice when he wants sex

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend since last November. He doesn't have a big sex drive and we maybe have sex once a week, I would be up for it every night! He has turned down nearly all of my advances over the months which has hurt and knocked my ...

A.   22 August 2020: This guy sounds childish. What exactly are you staying for? You have incompatible sex drives, he doesn’t listen to you, he’s only nice to you when he wants sex and you can’t have a serious conversation. Do you honestly think this has any longevit... (read in full...)

My lover and I have wild sex but now I see he's talking to his girlfriend again and wants her back!

Q.   So I've been hooking up with a guy for the past 6 months. We get together to have sex. I'm pretty crazy so the sex is wild. He's been enjoying it just as much as I have. He was with his girlfriend at the time and had a 7 year relationship, which I ...

A.   6 August 2020: Sex doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had great sex with people over the years and desired absolutely nothing more than that. It doesn’t make you want to be with someone, there is much more to a relationship than sex. It seems your arrangement is b... (read in full...)

Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?

Q.   I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...

A.   26 May 2020: Just get over it man. You were used, draw a line under it and move on. You will be the one who looks an asshole if you try to get your own back, what’s the point? Just walk away.... (read in full...)

Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?

Q.   I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...

A.   25 May 2020: In all honesty you need to grow up, you’re around 40 years of age and you’re aiding someone in cheating? How would a gift help? Why would you even want to be in the middle of this? If she wanted to be with you she would be, you’re a play thing th... (read in full...)

Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.

Q.   My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...

A.   24 May 2020: Pack up her crap, tell her where to collect it from then block and delete her number. Move on.... (read in full...)

Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.

Q.   My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...

A.   21 May 2020: Are you a doormat? She ended up drunk, naked with a guy and you’ve found her texting another guy and the main concern is that she won’t discuss the relationship? Cheaters are usually pretty hot on checking their partners activity. They p... (read in full...)

I worry I am just this woman's plaything.

Q.   Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...

A.   20 May 2020: More than likely. Very strange for her to get mad over Facebook. I’d be dodging this one.... (read in full...)

Why is my ex fiance distancing himself from me? He wanted to be friends

Q.   Hi all... My current boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. I was really heart broken. So, I reached out to my ex-fiancé for advice. Him and I haven’t spoken in a year. My ex-fiancé told me he wasn’t in love with me and left me for his ex. His ex ...

A.   13 May 2020: Wow, so much drama here! Breaking up and getting back with exes, what’s the point!? You’ve seen how much trouble this causes. Get away from this full situation, block both of these guys and move FORWARD with your life. Stop moving in the same cir... (read in full...)

I'm struggling but my partner offers no encouragement or support

Q.   I’ve been feeling really down and low since I gave birth to my little boy (10 months ago). I eventually went to the doctors when my little boy was 5 months old, it helped talking to my doctor though nothing got followed up and I still feel the same ...

A.   6 May 2020: This must be an awful situation to be in surrounded by negativity but it can change! You need to stand up for yourself more I think. You say you don’t have time to yourself because of worrying about your child, so tell your partner it’s time for... (read in full...)

I'm struggling with fears of death since my grandfather passed away

Q.   So my grandad passed away the start of March. My mum has been grieving really badly and I’ve been being strong for her. Except I’ve been so haunted with a lot of thoughts about death and dying and family memeber dying and my mum dying.....

A.   6 May 2020: Do all the grieving you need to, this is an extremely upsetting and stressful time for you and your emotion needs to come out, let it! It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s natural. When you feel in a better mental state, you will be more acceptin... (read in full...)

What is going on with this guy, am I overthinking?

Q.   This isn’t really a problem just more a curiousity So this guy I did used to fancy him but now we’re just friends. But I’ve noticed since I’ve know him when he has a bf he ignores me and when he doesn’t he talks to me I just trying to und...

A.   26 April 2020: Well I don’t think he likes you romantically no, if he did then why wouldn’t something happen when you’re both single? In all honesty it seems like he’s using you for a confidence boost when he’s single. He ignores you when he has someone else to ... (read in full...)

Any advice on supporting my ex without complicating her life?

Q.   Hello, I’m hoping to get some advice and clarity on a situation with my ex. In 2014 I’m positive I met the love of my life, we dated for two years long distance, at the time neither one of us drove and both worked pretty crappy jobs so we saw each ...

A.   26 April 2020: I have to agree, you need to leave this one alone. It may be upsetting but your life is more important. If she wanted to speak to you she would do, she keeps messaging you then disappearing. Does that sound like someone who wants to keep in touch... (read in full...)

Should I reach out to my ex boyfriend's ex?

Q.   Hello, I'm hoping I can reach out to you for some advice about a girl called Daisy (fake name for obvious reasons). I am 26, and Daisy is 27. We met becauseof my ex partner. In 2019 I came out of what I thought, was a stable relationship of ...

A.   23 April 2020: What’s the point? She ignored your friend request so she’s not interested in speaking. Move on with your life.... (read in full...)

Do I reach out to my deceased husband's brother?

Q.   My husband died two years ago from cancer. He had an older brother who he stopped talking to for at least fifteen years (we were married for fifteen years and he refused to talk to him). I have no idea what happened between them two, except my ...

A.   21 April 2020: Nope, what’s the point? If there are other family members then he will have been informed.... (read in full...)

Are these enough warning signs that my partner isn't into me?

Q.   So I have been in a relationship for almost 6 months and am wondering whether this relationship will last. I've had a lot of bad relationships, and childhood was not ideal so I doubt myself a lot and struggle with what a normal relationship should ...

A.   20 April 2020: I didn’t even read half of this post. Why are you still together? I don’t think it’s possible for two people to be less compatible. ... (read in full...)

I met up with an old crush, had sex twice now he is being short with me.

Q.   A few years ago I was speaking to this boy I met on Twitter and we got on really well, flirted and things. we didn’t live near eachother at the time and I got a boyfriend and obviously things didn’t continue. Recently though, me and my boyfriend ...

A.   19 April 2020: You can’t really be expecting much here, sleeping with someone the first time you meet them doesn’t bode well for the future. There’s nothing wrong with having sex with someone early on, its your life, do whatever you want but the majority of the ... (read in full...)

Does it matter if a boyfriend is saying he is only 45 percent attracted to me

Q.   A short question , just want opinions on being enough physically for a boyfriend . My boyfriend has given me a percent, and a value to what number he finds me attracted at 45 percent , should I be anyoed by this I never asked to be given a perce...

A.   18 April 2020: I’d have asked for an elaboration on that as it can be understood in different ways as has been shown here. It was a needless comment and it was bound to cause offence, I think most people would be caught off guard with a comment like that to be ... (read in full...)

Is this part of life, having no one who knows who you really are?

Q.   Hi, I'm 23 yo, I have some friends in my life, but no close ones anymore.. I've had 2 besties (2 guys who i loved as best friends) I've known for years, but then i was forced to block contact with them because my family thought they were bad in...

A.   18 April 2020: Yes, it is really. The only person who knows who you are is yourself. Everybody else just knows what you decide to show them whether it’s good or bad, that is ultimately your decision. You can reveal as much or as little as you see fit. ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to want specific things out a person you are dating?

Q.   Hello Aunt's and Uncle, I havent been on the site for a long time, and for a long time I thought I was content. Its been 2 years or maybe even more since I broke up with my Long Term College Girlfriend, I dated a bit after but havent found a g...

A.   13 April 2020: Why would you think there is something wrong with this? You date people to meet your life partner, you want someone that you’re completely compatible with and want to spend your life with. Surely you WOULD be doing EVERYTHING you can to find the... (read in full...)

I feel lonely and unworthy.

Q.   Hello all, I've been dealing with feeling really depressed over the fact that I'm living a lonely life. The only reason why I think that I'm important and at least "different" Is that my family is wealthy and I can buy things people can't afford, I ...

A.   12 April 2020: As honeypie said block this douche, he sounds like an asshole, be glad he’s out of your life! Again as mentioned, money doesn’t improve your mental state if you’re in a bad place! So don’t value it too much, sure it makes you more free to do thing... (read in full...)

I've been seeing a guy since 2018 but we don't seem to be progressing forward.

Q.   I have been casually seeing this guy since 2018. I am 37 and he's 43. At first it was just sex, and since he's a truck driver and a loner, he's away weeks, months at a time. Fast forward to last summer, we started "dating" and he even attended ...

A.   12 April 2020: This is the thing. You’re seeing the potential, you’re thinking too deeply into things. If he isn’t willing to call you his GF then what are you doing? You’re wasting your life with someone who’s not on the same page as you, what’s the point? ... (read in full...)

My partner stresses at me when I'm online gaming.

Q.   Hey guys, i play on the xbox most nights with a lad ive known for atleast 7 years, i havnt really spoke to him or played on the console with him for the last 2 years as he played differant games but now hes joined up with me again, but hes met other ...

A.   12 April 2020: What do you actually do together? How long do you game every night? I enjoy playing on my PlayStation every now and again but I can see how annoying it would be for your partner to be on it every night without fail. You’re completely focussed... (read in full...)

A guy I met on a dating site says he is going to talk to other girls..

Q.   I met a guy I a dating site. We chatted and exchanged numbers. He was calling and texting me everyday. He came to see me twice. We had sex. He kept calling and text for a few days. Then it just stopped. I looked at his Facebook. He was flirting with ...

A.   10 April 2020: Well, you met twice and had sex. He seemed like he was into you? Well, yeah. That’s what people do when they want to have sex with someone. That’s clearly all he was after. Block him, delete his number and move on with your life. Next time, ge... (read in full...)

This lockdown is testing our relationship

Q.   I've been stuck inside on lockdown for nearly a month now with my other half and his Dad who is our live-in landlord. We're getting to each other, nit-picking, moodswings, the lot. And I know it's because of the unusual circumstances that we're in...

A.   5 April 2020: I think the only way to solve this is BY talking. It’s not magically going to get better without some form of communication. If you’re both getting on each other’s nerves then you need to discuss how to improve things. If you think just tryin... (read in full...)

My husband has locked me out of the bedroom and refuses to talk to me

Q.   Dear Cupid My husband of 3 years is refusing to talk to me, i understand with pandemic and staying indoors all the time everyone are frustrated and depressed. But locking me out of master bedroom, is not solving any problem Yesterday during lun...

A.   1 April 2020: This is an abusive relationship. What a childish ‘man’ you chose to marry. Who acts like this as a grown adult? He’s locked you out of your bedroom because instead of deciding to keep his mouth shut and clean a plate that was dirty he decided ... (read in full...)

Do I end our friendship because I don't like his female friend?

Q.   I have a male friend who I trust completely, he has a friendship with another girl and the two of them are friends, but I don't trust her. I prefer to keep my distance from her and try not to follow her on social media. She appears to rub off on him ...

A.   1 April 2020: Why would you end the friendship? If you don’t need to interact then what’s the problem? Some of my friends hang around with people that I don’t particularly like but I couldn’t give a crap because I don’t have to interact with them in any way. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't like me posting bikini photos of myself on the internet

Q.   My bf is throwing a fit about me posting bikini pics on Instagram . I really enjoy doing this and don’t feel I should have to explain myself to him. This is something I have done since before we met but recently with mire time in my hands I have ...

A.   1 April 2020: You’re right, you don’t owe him any explanation. You can do whatever you want, just how he can do whatever he wants. It’s a petty argument but in my opinion it comes down to respect. Would you like him posting topless gym pics with girls liking and ... (read in full...)

What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?

Q.   Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...

A.   1 April 2020: I think that it’s sad that you’re even here as if you’re trying to live up to his standards and desperately trying to gain his approval and have him compliment you. Whatever games he’s playing, they’re working! Believe me, there are men out ther... (read in full...)

What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?

Q.   Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...

A.   31 March 2020: I think it shows how much he’s affected your confidence though as you’re even here asking the question. A lot of people would have just broke up with him and left him to obsess over other girls on his own. You’ve given him a lot of patience... (read in full...)

What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?

Q.   Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...

A.   30 March 2020: It isn’t about insecurity, it’s about him not being a complete dick. What an insensitive thing to say in front of someone who’s supposed to love you. You don’t do it to him, so why does he do it to you? Do you really want a partner that has this... (read in full...)

Does my friend to date want me?

Q.   I have been friends with a guy for a few years now. I don't get to see him that often as we live over an hour away from each other and I was unwell for a while. For most of this time he contacted me weekly or even every few days. When I was unwell ...

A.   30 March 2020: If you like him then ask him on a date. What’s the point in waiting around for him to ask? If he’s not a womaniser then maybe he is too scared to make the first move, in that case you’ll be going round in circles forever. If you ask him out then... (read in full...)

I was hoping if we couldn't date at least we could be friends. I'm not sure we are even that

Q.   I met her at uni. I wasn't in her class for the first term, so she added me on Facebook and we started messaging each other. It wasn't every day or anything, but often enough. Not long after, I met up with her at a student pub. I was out with...

A.   30 March 2020: I think that you’re wasting your time here massively. You like her, she doesn’t like you back. It’s obvious, if she did there would be effort on her side. It sounds like you’re doing all the leg work and getting nothing in return. I think you’re t... (read in full...)

What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?

Q.   Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...

A.   29 March 2020: Do you think he will change his ways? Have you ever told him how he makes you feel? It wouldn’t ever enter my head to make a comment like this to my partner as it’s incredibly disrespectful and really not normal. I’d be questioning if this is ... (read in full...)

Should I answer this guy after promising my boyfriend I wouldnt have any further contact with him.

Q.   I met a guy two years ago who I started to fall for, despite me being in a relationship. I confessed to my boyfriend and he was very upset. He wanted me to stop contacting the other guy, so I did. I told him that I had chosen to stick with the life ...

A.   28 March 2020: Why, when you decided to remain faithful to your partner did you not block this other guy? Ignore the email, you promised your BF not to contact this other dude, stick to it. Block him and forget about it. ... (read in full...)

Would you stay with an insecure partner?

Q.   My man and I have been together for almost 4 years he recently just accused me of cheating which made me very upset because I’m not the type of person he has a lot of insecurities from when he cheated on me which is something that I forgave him for ...

A.   27 March 2020: Why didn’t you dump his ass when he cheated? Do you value yourself that little so you think that’s all you deserve? Now he has the cheek to accuse you?! You can do better. Find someone else who doesn’t disrespect you as this will only get wors... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's health worries me. Should I break up with her?

Q.   Been dating a woman 10 years younger than me for almost 9 months. We are in love but her health really concerns me. I have a job which requires me to maintain my fitness and I work out several times a week. My girlfriend is overweight (not an ...

A.   26 March 2020: If you honestly think you’d marry this woman then I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and at least talk about this before breaking up. It’s a perfectly valid concern to question someone’s life choices when it comes to their health. Especial... (read in full...)

It seems this friendship has run its course.

Q.   Long read, thank you for reading Hi everyone, I’ve had a friend, Serena for a while. I noticed we definitely have grown apart but I thought it was normal until... I asked her to hang out and she told me she couldn’t that she promised a relative...

A.   26 March 2020: I think you’re right the friendship is as good as over, everything sounds extremely forced. You called her out on it and she gave you a reason, she said YOU were dipping out on her initially. Is she expected to wait around forever until you deci... (read in full...)

My husband is cheating again but I don't know if I can be bothered losing my house and divorcing.

Q.   Married for almost 10 years and have 3 little kids. We have a nice house,comfortable lifestyle. Found out today he has been texting some girl from his work, apparently thats all. Just dont know whether its work continuing relationship ...

A.   26 March 2020: Seriously? He’s cheated more than once and YOU are wondering if you’re being too hasty? Give me strength. I’d gather all the evidence that you can find so that you’ve got him bang to rights and then take him to the cleaners. It’s not possible... (read in full...)

I don't want my partner back but he says he cant live without us.

Q.   I split up with my ex after discovering his infidelity. We have 3 children together who he still sees every other weekend and we have stayed amicable. 2 weeks ago he went silent for about a week. He told me yesterday he is struggling with his ment...

A.   24 March 2020: That’s really not your problem, as honeypie said he’s emotionally blackmailing him. HE didn’t give a fuck about YOU when he was screwing some other woman, so why should YOU give a fuck about HIM now he’s sad that he got caught? He made his bed so he ... (read in full...)

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