Like what
she writes?
... Add *isha-1 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *isha-1 a private message | | | *isha-1's profile:Hi there!
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
|
| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
|
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 16 February 2012: YOU decide where you go from here, and that to me seems to be right out the door and on to a new chapter in your life. You've put yourself on the shelf for a guy who can never be what you want in a partner. You are suffering because you choose to ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 31 January 2012: It is good you are concerned about her health. I have to say, the very best thing you can do is to get her (AND yourself) into a doctor's care so she can be managed better. I would take the money you may be putting aside for the wedding and put that ... (read in full...)
My wife's friend is marrying my wife's 1st boyfriend and we don't want to go to the wedding, should we?
Q. We need advice. My wife has this good girlfriend that she's known for a few years. We're married 4 years now and everything is great. This girlfriend hasn't been a big part of our life because of who she's dating (and now marrying). This girlfrien...
A. 3 January 2012: Oh, and it seems to me to be a bit late for your wife to bring this up with her friend. If she was a good friend to this woman, I'm surprised that information wasn't shared by her already, if she chose not to share it back then, it seems to me to be ... (read in full...)
I like her personality but am not attracted to her. She wants sex and I'm just confused!
Q. ok im in a massive mess. i started talking to this 16 year old going on 17 online a few days ago. we got on straight away and instantly clicked. we organised to meet one day this week. we spoke about sex and i told her that im a virgin. she was ...
A. 3 January 2012: Just tell her the truth that you don't see yourself with her. It'll seem hard now but the reason you are feeling in such a mess is because you have got yourself in a situation you don't want to be in. She's falling for you and as you can't return ... (read in full...)
My wife's friend is marrying my wife's 1st boyfriend and we don't want to go to the wedding, should we?
Q. We need advice. My wife has this good girlfriend that she's known for a few years. We're married 4 years now and everything is great. This girlfriend hasn't been a big part of our life because of who she's dating (and now marrying). This girlfrien...
A. 3 January 2012: What old memories are being brought to the forefront for you? Are you battling retroactive jealousy?... (read in full...)
After everything that has happened, I'm sad for days on end, but don't want to get medicated!
Q. Hiya, I'm 31 and married with 2 children an 8year old and one about to turn 1. I would consider myself a happy go lucky person that takes everything in my stride normally. recently I have found everyday things harder and herder to cope with, and I ...
A. 3 January 2012: Properly used, medication can treat depression quite effectively. I was in the 'no meds' camp until clinical depression had taken over my life to such an extent that I was very unhealthy and unhappy. As Miamine said, it was like the world was ... (read in full...)
What to do? I waited too long to express my feelings
Q. Maybe it started when I met her. At first glance, I thought she was beautiful. Gorgeous curly ebony hair and chocolate brown eyes. She's sweet and she's kind. She's an artist, like me, but takes to digital style like a pro. I think I'm in love with ...
A. 31 December 2011: "Hey, girl, if you ever become single again, let me know.... I missed my chance earlier but I will take it again if I get the opportunity. You're a great friend and I care for you a lot. Just file that away in your memory banks and pull it up when ... (read in full...)
I feel lonely even when I am with my friends
Q. I don't know why, but even when I am with friends I always feel lonely, like they will always include me in everything, but I still feel so lonely, even when I am with my best friend, and it isn't like I just met them, I have known them for years.. ...
A. 31 December 2011: I think everyone goes through feeling like that. Even when you get older, it happens from time to time, that you feel somewhat disconnected in all that's going on around you. Just take the opportunity to look around, note the positive lights in your ... (read in full...)
Alcohol has ruined my parents and I am so helpless
Q. This Christmas was not any different to any other. In fact it was not much different to any other day except they did buy me presents and there are a lot more people. Christmas Eve i prepare all of the vegetables, stuff the turkey and put it in the ...
A. 31 December 2011: Did you look at the Childline hotline as well? You can ring and actually speak to someone who can help you find the resources that will get you the care you need. Please make that call and report back.... (read in full...)
Alcohol has ruined my parents and I am so helpless
Q. This Christmas was not any different to any other. In fact it was not much different to any other day except they did buy me presents and there are a lot more people. Christmas Eve i prepare all of the vegetables, stuff the turkey and put it in the ...
A. 31 December 2011: Please contact Childline for help and local resources than can help you cope with this situation. Sorry to hear your parents are not able to be parents in any sort of healthy or responsible way. Get help now, please go to http://www.childline.org.uk ... (read in full...)
He wants a BJ but I backed out of giving him one
Q. Hey ok i promised my Boyfriend I'd give him a BJ for the first time but when I got to his house and he *whiped it out* i paniced and said "i don't want us to get caught" he said i broke his promise now he is consently saying "u gonna back out of ...
A. 31 December 2011: Would the owner of this account please PM me so that it can be dealt with. The question will be closed but it will be some time before any further action can be taken. The alternative is to delete the account, if the security of the account is ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 23 December 2011: I was just wondering how things went for you! Thanks for the follow up!
... (read in full...)
Is it over?
Q. Hi, I've been dating a girl for a few weeks and the last couple we haven't seen each other as she doesn't live in my town but is here usually working on weekends. She's been a little distant not sending me messages a lot as before and in the space ...
A. 23 December 2011: Why are you pushing for "closure" on a casual dating relationship during the holiday season? Are you anxious or unable to have something just put on hold? She's traveling to family who are far away, there's last minute ... (read in full...)
My younger brother has NO concept of money!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I really need your help. I'm here because I'm completely out of ideas regarding my younger brother and his spending habits. His last text to me ("I spent $200 on dinner last night") was the final straw. He is 21 and still in ...
A. 23 December 2011: "Mom, we had this exact same conversation about him last week and twice the week before, and three times the week before that and twice the week before that! I've lost count of how many times we've had this conversation.
You seem to be repe... (read in full...)
He's a nice guy and a friend. How can I hint to him that I'm not interested in him in that way?
Q. There is this guy and I think he likes me? We have a been inboxing and talking, but I realised that he would inbox me everyday and if I don't reply in time he would inbox again asking a question. Obviously I answer because it is the nicest thin...
A. 23 December 2011: Be very clear that you like him as a friend. You might start asking him for dating advice. "Oh, you're a good person to ask, you see, I like this boy, his name is Glenn (or whatever it is), and I want to get him a romantic Christmas present. Since ... (read in full...)
Am I too young to get married?
Q. Ok so me and my girlfriend were really good friends before we ever started to date. she had some emotional issues with things and then she started caring for me as more than friends when she relized that i was a caring person and wanted/tried to ...
A. 22 December 2011: It sounds like you have the best start of all, with the great communication between you. Many couples never attain that, even as they get older. So I'd say you aren't too young to be committed. If you share similar work ethics, views on life and ... (read in full...)
I'm so scared I'm going to be left on the shelf!
Q. Hi, I am now the single one out of all my friends and I don't know what to do. I'm 31 attractive and have a good Job in recruitment. I'm living with friends in London and always had a good social life. However that's recently changed. Al...
A. 22 December 2011: You're only on the shelf because you put yourself there, I think.
"Hey, friends! Yes, all of you! I have an announcement to make! I am ready for a relationship, after all these years of being single, I have decided I want to date someone! The reas... (read in full...)
I've lost myself.....Could I be depressed?
Q. Hi all, I was wondering if anyone can help me? Over the past 12 months I've noticed some significant changes and I'm not quite sure what to do. I only turned 21 a few months ago, prior to this I was a very social person. I loved going out clubbing ...
A. 22 December 2011: Perhaps you have developed depression. Perhaps there's something physical going on which is resulting in your loss of energy. The simplest way to determine what's going on is to pop into the doctor's and have a checkup, being sure to let the doctor ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 22 December 2011: THAT is the followup I was hoping for. So you get to work on that self-esteem--far more important than her breast size. The fact of the matter is that people change physically over time; so the fact that you love her so much is a good thing, because ... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 21 December 2011: So basically, you're working from a sense of personal insecurity and inferiority? That's why you want her to stay heavy? That's why you are okay with her building up fatty deposits in her arteries and increasing her risk for all sorts of medical ... (read in full...)
How do I help my wife find her next husband?
Q. I have decided my wife deserves a new husband. I cannot give what she feels will make her happy. She and I have discussed this subject at length and I am simply not the man for the "job". She does not know I have reached this conclusion but I ...
A. 21 December 2011: Has it occurred to you she might simply be happier without a man in her life right now? Men can be a lot of work, frankly, and she may just like a break, where she only has to care for the child and for herself.
Were you planning to go on the date... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 21 December 2011: Why can't you simply tell her you believe she has lied to you about her past and that had you known how promiscuous she appeared to be, based on her journal, you would never have married her?
Look, the invasion of privacy is one thing, but the fact... (read in full...)
Paranormal Activity?
Q. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so scared right now and I suppose I've been feeling uneasy for some time, I've just been trying to ignore it... But I’m really starting to think that there might be something in my house. It started off smal...
A. 21 December 2011: Go buy a carbon monoxide monitor and be sure your smoke detectors are functional. I've heard of dogs acting like this and the physical symptoms you describe might be an indication you have a nasty leak from the furnace.
... (read in full...)
How do I politely ask him to go to the bar instead of the cinema?
Q. This guy wants to go on a date to the cinema tomorrow but i dont want to go as it would be a very dark,intimate place and i'm worried that he'll try to make a move on me. I dont feel ready for that yet. We have only met a couple of times so far and ...
A. 21 December 2011: "The cinema sounds lovely but I'd really much rather go to the Earl of Sandwich Bar and spend time actually talking!"
From what you've written, you don't really trust this guy very much, do you? Are you certain you want to even go out on a date with... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 20 December 2011: Oh for heaven's sake, why wouldn't you take the 'risk' of talking to a therapist? What do you have to lose at this point?
Just go make an appointment and get it started. The more you let this sit and fester, the worse off you'll be.
It sounds l... (read in full...)
Remember the Code (Respect Girl Code and Boy Code)
Q. I'm making this article to remind many people to be aware of "The Code." No, not the code to diffuse the bomb downstairs, but the code of friendship, of love - Boy Code and Girl Code. It seems like everyone forgets what it is. For those of you who ...
A. 20 December 2011: Your friends didn't know he'd cheated on you? That's basic info to share when you break up. That to me is part of basic Girl Code, share with your friends and get the support you need. ... (read in full...)
I ran away, now I'm pregnant and don't know how to tell my Mom!
Q. i need help please! my mom and i got in a huge fight about a year and a half ago about her and her boyfriend getting married i couldn't and i still can't stand him..time being she hated my boyfriend to, he probably wasn't and probably still isn't ...
A. 20 December 2011: Who is taking you to the doctor? I'd ask for help from your doctor, explain that you are estranged from your family, and a runaway, and need some social service help in reaching out.
If you haven't been to a doctor, you have to get to one NOW.... (read in full...)
My Gf wants to start going to the gym but I am worried I wont find her physically attractive if she loses weight, Please help!
Q. My GF was started is thinking about going to the gym with her sister because she invited her to go. I love her very much and I would never leave her and stand by her no matter what, but her going to the gym scares me a bit and i have a few questions ...
A. 20 December 2011: Please don't be one of those guys who is more concerned about her breast size than her health. That's really not a good place to be. If she loses weight carefully, eating right and exercising well, she'll be just fine. Smaller all over, and best of ... (read in full...)
My Gf has asked me for £50, I said No, was I wrong?
Q. Hi all, been with my gf for 3 years she has never worked (she is 19) and neither has her mum I have worked since I left school. I spend quite alot on her having to buy food lending her bus money etc etc sometimes it annoys me sometimes it doesn't. ...
A. 20 December 2011: Why does she need to pay someone money to take pictures of her, is this leading to work? I doubt it, these types of modeling photos usually just lead to a stream of money flowing from the 'model' right into the banking account of the 'model ... (read in full...)
Is drunken fumbling meaningful?
Q. Does he like me or was it because we were both drunk? Guy in my class invited me to his birthday drink up with a couple of his mates.I was the only girl. Didn't mind, we're good friends( forgot to mention i kinda fancy him!) So we got drunk at ...
A. 19 December 2011: What people do when they are drunk and/or high doesn't necessarily mean anything. If he asks you out on a date when he's sober, then you'll know.
For the time being, it's safer to assume his inhibitions are lowered when he's drunk and will like... (read in full...)
Fingering hurts!
Q. So, my boyfriend has been fingering me and when he puts his finger up my vag, it feels like so much pressure but it's kind of uncomfortable. Idk if this is because its new..but ahhhh! What should I do!? ...
A. 15 December 2011: Why not tell him what feels good to you? He would want to know, I hope.
One idea for you is to tell him that he should touch and 'finger' you as though someone was doing the same thing to his scrotum. That might help him understand what's happ... (read in full...)
He's frustrated. I'm unhappy. What could be causing my Bf to suddenly get erectile dysfunction? It's never happened before.
Q. My and I boyfriend have been together for 4 months now, and recently we've had a problem with him staying hard during sex. I'm on birth control so we never use condoms but it's just so weird because during foreplay or oral sex he stays full on hard...
A. 15 December 2011: How's his health? Does he use drugs or alcohol before sex? Is there any stress in his life?
Maybe take a break from sex for a bit and see what happens after a week or 2 of abstinence.
Maybe he's feeling pressure to 'perform' and now that this iss... (read in full...)
I'm off the pill but we are still having trouble in and out of the bedroom. Is there anything I can do?
Q. I have had a lot of troubles in the bedroom with my boyfriend. It has been going on for a few months. When i decided to go off the pill, because it was affecting me negatively emotionally and healthwise.. and it also took away all urges to eve...
A. 15 December 2011: "He is making me feel like this is the only thing that would work to get him off and I think he is doing this on purpose. I just can't do it, never wanted to and tried for him, and confirmed my beliefs."
"He also obsesses over my past relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend arrived for a 2 week stay with me without any money! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend has just arrived for a 2 week stay (we're long distance) without any money! He says he's taking a month long break unpaid and has just enough to meet child maintenance payments during this time so I'm going to have to cover for him. He ...
A. 14 December 2011: Reading this question and your previous one, send him home now and break up with him. He's a liar and a user and will bring you nothing but more headache. Look closer to home for a guy you can get to know on a more even financial footing. The gall ... (read in full...)
I'm having self-esteem issues about my figure.
Q. Hey guys, This isn't exactly a relationship question but I have been feeling badly and could really use your help! Like everyone, I want so badly to be attractive and I desperately want a nice figure and when I see other women with nice figure...
A. 13 December 2011: So, did you go for that walk? Do you really want to change things or was the post just you idling a few minutes away?... (read in full...)
Someone sent my girlfriend flowers at her office on her birthday.
Q. So my girlfriends bday was this pat friday and someone had delivered her over to her job a basket of Yellow roses with red tip, purple roses, yellow daisys and other flowers and a plush version of her favorite character. She initially thought that I ...
A. 13 December 2011: I had some 'mystery man' send me chocolates at work a couple of times. It was not okay by me and I freaked out after the third 'delivery', turned out to be some creepy contractor who had to be told by my boss that his 'gifts' were unwanted and ... (read in full...)
I'm off the pill but we are still having trouble in and out of the bedroom. Is there anything I can do?
Q. I have had a lot of troubles in the bedroom with my boyfriend. It has been going on for a few months. When i decided to go off the pill, because it was affecting me negatively emotionally and healthwise.. and it also took away all urges to eve...
A. 13 December 2011: I'd break up with him. Just based on the demands for sex acts that leave you puking, in pain and miserable. Enough is enough, isn't it? Unless you are willing to go to couples counseling and possibly a sex therapist, I don't see much future in this ... (read in full...)
He changed plans and is going skiing instead of taking me to my winter formal. Is it okay to go with one of my guy friends? What are your thoughts?
Q. So my boyfriend of a year and a half and I have been planning on going to my senior year winter formal together at my school (he attends a different school). He recently got invited to go skiing during the week of the dance. Upon asking me if I ...
A. 13 December 2011: "Go skiing with your friends, I'll go to the dance with one of mine, no problem! It's all purely platonic on both our parts, right?"
It sounds as though you had been planning to go to the dance, he'd been looking for other things to do.
If yo... (read in full...)
We've gone from an open and trusting relationship to one where he is secretive and ends up screaming at me if I try to address it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I am not the type to write something here, but I do not know where else to turn. To start, I never thought I would need to come here, i always thought we would be perfect. everyone around u...
A. 13 December 2011: I agree with Cerberus. You need backup. Stop pretending everything is perfect to your best friends and your family and start telling them what's happening. At the worst, they'll commiserate with you if it's all been a huge misunderstanding. At best, ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the concert and can I rely on this girl?
Q. I'm not sure if i should still go to this concert or not. I met a girl in London a few months ago at a fan party for an actor. We have been intouch a lot since then on facebook, and i'm supposed to be staying at her house for a couple of days later ...
A. 13 December 2011: "Suzanne, I'm finalizing my travel plans for the concert weekend. We'd talked about my staying ________ for ________ and I just wanted to know if that still worked for your schedule. Other friends were wondering what I was planning for the weekend ... (read in full...)
I can't compete sexually with my wife's former lover
Q. My wife's last lover had a bigger penis, greater stamina and could please her with vaginal intercourse. I feel so inadequate and don't know why I should make any more pathetic attempts. Any advice?...
A. 13 December 2011: Women don't generally marry men they consider inadequate. As a rule, a woman marries a man because she thinks he's the best combination of all the things she is looking for in a man. Presumably, she's the best combination of all the things he's ... (read in full...)
I've lost my libido!
Q. I am Gay Guy, in a Civil partnership. I have appeared to lost my libido, and my partner has turned to using phone lines for his sexual release. I get very frustrated with him, and at a loss as how to handle this....
A. 12 December 2011: When was the last time you saw your doctor? What other issues do you have going on? How long have you been together? But most importantly, when was the last time you saw your doctor and how is your health overall?... (read in full...)
I'm having self-esteem issues about my figure.
Q. Hey guys, This isn't exactly a relationship question but I have been feeling badly and could really use your help! Like everyone, I want so badly to be attractive and I desperately want a nice figure and when I see other women with nice figure...
A. 12 December 2011: You're a size 6? Wow, I haven't been that since my 20s. Okay, stop worrying. You can definitely tone up and lose weight (if you really need to, I'm not convinced you do). How do I know? Because in my late 40s I took off 40 lbs by starting to ... (read in full...)
My bisexual/lesbian friend dislikes gay men!
Q. Dear cupid, My best friend is a female bisexual and she's great, but I have one problem and its the fact that she hates gay men. I'm so fed up with her double standards its drives me up the walls. Sometimes she calls them names like F****t and ...
A. 12 December 2011: Distance yourself from this toxic best 'friend' now so you don't have to deal with idiotic hypocrisy and judgmental nonsense. She doesn't sound great to me, she sounds bitter and nasty! She's not friends with you, as you are, she's friends with the ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: This strategy that I've laid out will address this comment he made: He told me that men do not like to discuss things, they just decide and move on whereas girls like to discuss every last detail.
So stop discussing (he's not listening, he hear... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: Re-reading the post, I'd tell him that you expect to meet his mother by the end of October. If this doesn't happen, then break up with him. Make it clear this is IT, then sit back and wait to see if he makes it happen. If he does nothing and you ... (read in full...)
Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...
A. 27 September 2011: Hi there, I read your followup and had to chime in (late) to the discussion. First of all, I have met many international couples, they do work, IF there's a willingness and openness on both sides.
I think after 2 1/2 years together, he knows if h... (read in full...)
| *isha-1's friends
These are mutual friends, so *isha-1 has
added them and they have added *isha-1!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
