New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244985 questions, 1084409 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*eltic_tiger agony aunt


United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *eltic_tiger to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *eltic_tiger a private message

*eltic_tiger's Ratings
*eltic_tiger's profile:

I try to give people honest opinions about situations, and give an unbiased balanced view of their options.

Some people may think I am harsh, but often a "softly softly" approach does not work, and a good dose of reality is needed.

1234567891011Next > [26 pages, 1009 answers]

Husband is cheating, wants me to leave the marital home.

Q.   Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. My husband of 19 years asked for a divorce in April this year, straight after I finished treatment for breast cancer. There has been no intimacy for 2 years now. He has refused to leave the family home ...

A.   20 December 2017: My parents separated and then divorced whilst living under the same roof, whilst I was a teenager. It is traumatic and not fair on your children. I urge you to seek legal advice and find out what your rights are. As he has commited adulter... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in supporting my husband financially?

Q.   Am I being unreasonable in that my husband is from a different country and I help him out financially. I plan to go back to his country shortly teaching English and we are due to meet in Turkey beforehand to have a holiday. He wants us to be i...

A.   23 August 2017: Wow, there are a lot of red flags waving here. I agree totally with Denizen, take away the fact he is your husband, would you tolerate this attitude and behaviour from anyone else? Just out of interest, how and where did you meet this man? W... (read in full...)

How do I get over being rejected by guys?

Q.   How do I get over the idea of being rejected by guys? Hi I'm 18 and about to go off to university. I've always been scared of getting rejected by guys so I have never put myself out there. As a result... I've never actually experienced reje...

A.   3 August 2017: Rejection is part of life, and not something you can really advise on how to deal with it. Every rejection will feel different, some you will be heartbroken, others angry, some just meh. Rejection hurts however old and experienced you are! ... (read in full...)

Engaged but I've seen someone new

Q.   I am engaged to a man whom I have been in a mostly happy relationship for 9 years. He cheated on me three years in with someone at work but we got over it. We are now engaged and the wedding is next year. My problem is, I'm absolutely obses...

A.   19 July 2017: I think the fact you put you are engaged as your 3rd potential problem should be ringing alarm bells. You are obviously not feeling the way you should about your partner and with a wedding in the planning. End this relationship, be... (read in full...)

Step daughter doesn't want the step family moving into Dad's house!

Q.   My boyfriend has a 10 year old daughter with his ex, I have a 8 year old from a previous relationship, and when we first got together our girls got on well. We have been together for 2 years, and recently we started thinking about moving in ...

A.   8 July 2017: Just another thought - you don't say if her mother is still in the picture, or if the breakup was a traumatic process. Could it be that she is frightened or scared about another woman moving into her safe place, perhaps worrying that whatever... (read in full...)

Step daughter doesn't want the step family moving into Dad's house!

Q.   My boyfriend has a 10 year old daughter with his ex, I have a 8 year old from a previous relationship, and when we first got together our girls got on well. We have been together for 2 years, and recently we started thinking about moving in ...

A.   8 July 2017: I think you are forgetting that it is HER HOME as much as it is your boyfriends home. Her room is HER private space. Her things, her special world. Her room and her home are her safe place. What you seem to be essentially saying is that h... (read in full...)

Am I too sexual for him? Our sex life seems bland.

Q.   Hi need some advice on my sex life. So I've been in a relationship for two years and I love my bf very much. The problem is that our sex life is quite bland. I am quite adventurous and kinky I love to go down on him but he doesn't reciproc...

A.   11 June 2017: Not all men would be happy with your idea of a Birthday present. I actually expect that the majority probably would not have taken you up on the idea. You are not sexually compatible with your BF. No matter what he says when drunk, deep down... (read in full...)

My daughter feels I am being inconsiderate having my lover stay over

Q.   hi all, I have been on my own with my daughter since she was 6 months old and in that time i have never introduced her to any potential partners, i have chosen to stay single. my daughter is 18 years old next month and also has a boyfriend of nearly ...

A.   26 May 2017: Another thought - have you considered that she could be worried about YOU? My mother lost all her senses and had a fling with a man who only wanted her for sex. She fell for his charms hook line and sinker, believed everything he told her and ... (read in full...)

My daughter feels I am being inconsiderate having my lover stay over

Q.   hi all, I have been on my own with my daughter since she was 6 months old and in that time i have never introduced her to any potential partners, i have chosen to stay single. my daughter is 18 years old next month and also has a boyfriend of nearly ...

A.   25 May 2017: I have been in a similar situation to your daughter, so I can understand it from her point of view. I do have a few questions for you though: How long have you known this man? How long have you been dating and how many times have you actuall... (read in full...)

I think I made a mistake in getting married to him as I don't think I can accept his culture and all the family involvement. What should I do?

Q.   I am a vey independent woman who likes a lot of space and I do not like being told what to do. I rarely see my own family as I am busy with my life and they with theirs. My husband comes from Egypt and would like me to go and live there but I don'...

A.   24 May 2017: Why did you marry him in the first place? How did you meet and how long did you date before marriage? Not to be unkind, but surely you realised what kind of culture he came from and what would be "expected" of a wife? How much do you actually... (read in full...)

I am not sure if she feels the same about me. what can I do? I've developed feelings for a female co-worker.

Q.   Not sure where to start.... So I am a 24 year old female and have developed feelings for a co-worker who is also female but is 45years old. We have worked together for over 2years now, we work amongst a team and work with different colleagues. I wo...

A.   22 May 2017: I agree with Denizen, the co-worker thing is a major issue, regardless of sexuality. Working with someone so closely, with the potential for romantic fall-out is never a good idea. It would cause a lot of drama, and could potentially affect o... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   13 May 2017: She sounds quite immature to be honest - the sulking at not getting her own way says a lot. A proposal is far more than just a ring and a big party. She (and you) are still very young, and although you have been together three years, she was only... (read in full...)

I waited 3 years to tell my LDR boyfriend that I have 2 children and now he's unsure of how he feels

Q.   I've been in a 3 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I'll admit I've been wrong in never disclosing to him that I've been married, divorced, and have two teenage children. I'm also 42 yrs old while he's only 33 yrs old. I've trav...

A.   18 April 2017: Wow OP, you sound very bitter about being a parent, and quite resentful of your children. I am 33 - the same age as your boyfriend and if a man I was dating for 3 years turned round and said he was 42, and had two adult children I would be horri... (read in full...)

Large wedding or an intimate wedding that we can afford? How can this be resolved?

Q.   “Dan” and I are both 27, living together, and recently engaged and married. We plan to have our wedding in 10 months time however have different approaches on costs and guest list, so we are brainstorming having two celebrations. I prefer an in...

A.   13 April 2017: I think this may be more of a cultural issue - You do not say what his background is, but if there is a history of having lavish weddings and being given money etc then there may be an "expected" protocol regarding marriage ceremonies. Bottom ... (read in full...)

Am I being hurtful to my ex by choosing to move away?

Q.   I feel like I'm being horrible making the decision to move away from my ex boyfriend and move nearly 70 miles away to live with my boyfriend of a year. Basically when we were 16, my ex and I had a son. We were only together 4 months when I found ou...

A.   13 April 2017: This is a difficult situation, but you have to remember - he is not just YOUR son. How often would his father get to see him? Would you expect him to come to you, or would you take your son to see his father? Your parents are not his only grandpar... (read in full...)

My partners family are ruining our relationship and I don't know what to do!

Q.   Hi, just looking for some advice please My partners family are ruining our relationship and I don't know what to do. Background info- we've been together 2 years, live together (against their wishes). I'm 25 and he's 26. I have never given ...

A.   1 April 2017: Finish this now - you will never change how this man thinks or the way his family treat you. A friend of mine from University (white British, Christian) had a relationship with a muslim man. His family also basically ignored her. They ended up... (read in full...)

Her past bothers me, though I do like our sex life!

Q.   Hey guys, I've been dating a girl for a few months and it's going really great, but her past has come up more than a few times (mainly by me) her lifestyle bothers me a bit she's 22 and loves to club. Has had 12 sexual partners her last dude wa...

A.   24 March 2017: Your question is full of so many contradictions. On the one hand you are struggling with the fact she has been promiscuous in the past, had orgys, threesomes, one night stands.... but.. Then you get excited about how she is great in bed,... (read in full...)

I work with her. Should I act as if I do not know that she blocked me on FB? Or do I confront her?

Q.   My friend at work blocked me on fb... I think it's pathetic, so do I confront her or not? (I'm thinking that I wouldn't really like to give her the satisfaction of knowing it's annoyed me...versus the making her squirm/lie about it...!!) ?? How d...

A.   5 March 2017: Seriously, its just facebook. Facebook is not reality, it is a place where all the fabricated dreams and ideals of people can be shown off, and where you can pretend to be anything you want. Most of the content is posted as a way to show off, get... (read in full...)

The red-blooded male in me says to give her more experience, the gentleman in me says to wait a few years!

Q.   Sex question- a girl I've met online is very inexperianced and wants me to teach her about the physicality of sex. What's the problem?- there's a 12 year age gap and while she's above the age of consent and therefore it would be legal, the ethic...

A.   3 March 2017: If you are 29, then the oldest she can be is 17 - don't go there. Seriously, she may be "very mature for her age" but that is a complete load of rubbish. NO seventeen year old girl is mature. THey are very good at pretending, but deep down, t... (read in full...)

My married lover won't commit to me.

Q.   Been having a relationship with a married man for 11 years, I have asked him on numerous ocassions for me and him to be a proper couple.....but even though he says he wants to in the future he can't right now because of the impact it will have on ...

A.   1 March 2017: What shall you do? Stop being so selfish. You have been his mistress for 11 years, yet you still fail to see that it is not just you and him who are affected by your deceit. There are three other people involved in your relationship, and t... (read in full...)

He's a handsome foreigner, twice-divorced, aged 60. But all is not well in the relationship. Is it time to break up with him?

Q.   Hello, I´m a single working mother of two. One is 13yo and the second 5yo. Six months ago I met a handsome foreigner twice-divorced aged 60. After 2 months, he came to live with us. He´s the first man to ever enter my household because I´ve alw...

A.   26 February 2017: The worrying thing here is that you moved a complete stranger into your home having only been in a relationship for two months - 8 weeks - 60 days. Personally that shows very little concern for the wellbeing of your children, or how your relation... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone that their romantic feelings toward me are not mutual?

Q.   I'm not into relationships at all, just casual stuff mainly. However, a guy I've recently been seeing thinks he's fallen in love with me and wants to be in a relationship. The issue is I can't bring myself to tell him that's not what I want. I'm ...

A.   25 February 2017: This is the problem with casual relationships. At some point one or other develops deeper feelings. This is a risk when entering a casual fling. We hear so many stories on DC about hearts being broken because a "casual" fling has develope... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...

A.   23 January 2017: This is about his culture and religion, not about strict parenting. As the others have said, it all stems from their traditional ideas, which are VERY VERY different to western ideals. The majority (not all) of muslim or arab immigrants do not w... (read in full...)

What do I do? How can she still want to be with someone who she is not sexually attracted to, nor IN love with?

Q.   Apologies if I ramble but I have some much to get off my chest ?? My Fiancée of nearly 14 years and the mother of my 2 beautiful daughters (11 and 6) had told me she loved me but is not IN love with me several years ago. We have also not had...

A.   9 January 2017: I just have one small comment - "my fiancee of 14 years" Do you think that she might have got fed up waiting for you to commit fully to her, and now has given up all hope? Your relationship in real terms has never been made "official" in ... (read in full...)

Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?

Q.   I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...

A.   20 December 2016: I'm a little confused by part of your post: You say "On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave." Are you saying that it WASN'T the deceased ladies ... (read in full...)

I need some advice for a last minute trip to a London gig

Q.   Hi. I hope someone can give advice on this trip. I am thinking of going to London tomorrow night to see a gig, but it's all pretty much last minute. I only found out a couple of days ago that someone was selling two tickets for the gig. Origina...

A.   8 December 2016: In all honesty, it sounds like a lot of stress and hassle for a single gig. Do you really like this performer so much? Is the person selling the tickets a tout? Or a private individual? Are you 100% sure that the tickets are real, and will be ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's family is refusing to let me stay with them.

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 18 months now. He is Indian and his family is Muslim. We intend to get married in the next year (not engaged yet) and they know we are serious, but because I am a white blonde girl they treat me completely ...

A.   15 November 2016: I think you are probably seeing a little of how they may react in future, and I agree it is about "keeping face" within their community. I know you are all loved up, but have you considered that although they are tolerating you for now, they may... (read in full...)

Sex with my uni professor, help please

Q.   Hello I am 24, he is 42 (I know he is so much older than me) I have always been drawn to and dated older guys (besides my first boyfriend.) Anyway he is my professor, now when I say my professor, he is a lecturer at my university and he is the ...

A.   5 November 2016: Just to add - the age thing is irrelevant in the situation. I wouldn't matter if he was 32 or 22.... he is still your Professor. ... (read in full...)

Sex with my uni professor, help please

Q.   Hello I am 24, he is 42 (I know he is so much older than me) I have always been drawn to and dated older guys (besides my first boyfriend.) Anyway he is my professor, now when I say my professor, he is a lecturer at my university and he is the ...

A.   5 November 2016: As someone who has worked within a University, as a tutor and lecturer, I can honestly say that even if your Uni has no official "issues" with student/professor dating (which I somehow doubt), professionally and morally he is breaking every rule in ... (read in full...)

First time sex wasn't good for my g/f and I want to help next time be better

Q.   My gf and I attempted sex for the first time… and it was a little rockier a process than we had initially anticipated! When i tried to go in, it wouldn’t go in past the tip. In addition my gf was not getting to feel it that much. I felt really ...

A.   28 October 2016: From your post, I get the impression that you think it is her fault that the sex wasn't great? Otherwise why would you think buying HER a how-to book would be a good idea? Unless you are far more experienced than she is, you are BOTH on a learning... (read in full...)

Our wish to adopt a child has provoked some negative reactions, how do we deal with them?

Q.   My husband and I have decided to adopt. I was surprised by the negative reaction of some of our friends! I was prepared for the usual fears and prejudices (it's not your flesh and blood, you can never love him the way you would your own etc.) b...

A.   15 October 2016: I think that adoption is not just about taking on a child that is needing a family, it goes far deeper than that. You are also taking on the childs biological family, and all the emotional baggage that it brings with them. It appears that many peo... (read in full...)

Why get married? How do I tell my family that they're waiting for something that will not happen?

Q.   Why is getting married so important!! I'm 25 I have been with my partner 10 years my relationship is fantastic I trust him we get on like best mates there's no drama it is as close to perfect as I could have ever imagined! We own a home 50/50 not...

A.   11 October 2016: I think regardless of what you believe about the religious elements of marriage, going forward in your life together I would urge you to think about the legal aspects of getting married. It does give you more rights as a legally recognized partner. ... (read in full...)

Do I tell some white lies? Or compromise and invite my Bf to visit me and meet my Dad?

Q.   Hello! a few basic info first: I'm currently a 19 y/o college student and living with my dad and brother. I'm unemployed as for now but I'm also thinking about getting a part-time job somewhere. I have a boyfriend who's 27 y/o currently and he's got ...

A.   7 September 2016: The problem here is not that it is a LDR - there are far more issues here that should be ringing massive warning bells in your head. Does your *boyfriend* know how old you are? Have you been truthful? Red Flag 1: The age difference - this is... (read in full...)

Is it fair? Is he expecting me to pay more than my share?

Q.   Hi everyone my boyfriend and me have just got a house together we have 2 kids we have lived together for 4 months now the problem is he agreed to pay the rent while I pay the gas electric and water food and things for the kids I have 2 jobs only...

A.   6 September 2016: To put it bluntly - this man is using you. No it is not fair, that he only pays £250 a month. £250 for rent, food, bills, cooking, cleaning, free sex...... he has it made, and his own private servant. YOU. This man is a grown up. He has TW... (read in full...)

Was I in the wrong at all here? Should I complain? Should I leave a bad review?

Q.   Hi all! Some advice needed please. I've been going to this beauty salon for almost 3 years and they have a very strict policy whereby if you give less than 24 hours notice to cancel your appointment, you are fully charged. I have no problem...

A.   4 September 2016: You are not in the wrong at all. The salon here is at fault, and their customer service is appalling. While in principle it might be deemed ok to have a no-show policy, there is no need to be rude to a client. It appears it is in their best... (read in full...)

My boyfriend rushed our goodbye and did not even kiss me. Should I feel bad?

Q.   My BF and I work together. We left early today as our company lets us off early every other Friday. He is my manager and our relationship is kept professional at the office. And it is our private business outside the office. He is ver...

A.   2 September 2016: I think you need to take a step back from this situation. Although I understand you would feel a bit pissy he didn't say goodbye properly after work as he was going away, I feel that due to your professional relationship he is wise to keep wor... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has no time to spend with me! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating over 3 years, we met at university and moved to our parents separate homes afterwards. This worked great as we both worked weekdays and paid a little rent meaning we saw each other at weekends and had some money ...

A.   5 August 2016: Sadly, I think you are seeing the reality of University relationships University is a bubble. You are living on top of each other, not a care in the world, lots of fun, parties and living a lifestyle which has no basis in reality. Relatio... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling so alone when every single friend is coupled up and I have no family?

Q.   I have two different friendship groups who I socialise with regularly plus a few friends who I see individually on a regular basis rather than as part of any group. I have known all of them for between 4 and 10 years. They are all aged between ...

A.   2 August 2016: Just out of interest, what sort of age range are you looking at when online dating? There are a lot of women who do not want or do not have children in their late 30's and 40's..... perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Have you cons... (read in full...)

Choosing Boyfriend or potential job?

Q.   Hi there, I hope you are all well. I am kindly seeking advice for what is for me a big issue and which I keep thinking over. Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years this December. We met in the beginning of our ...

A.   17 July 2016: I think you should go for the job. University romances very rarely continue beyond graduation. They are great whilst inside the bubble of University and study, but once out into the real world, suddenly the rose coloured glasses come off and the ... (read in full...)

Row with my mom caused to leave for the night. What if she doesn't return?

Q.   me and my mum had a big row today and im worried it has ruined the love i used to have with her. i asked my mum for £50 to buy some shoes and she said yes then said as long as their sensible and i just murmerd yes mum. then i went out and bough...

A.   17 May 2016: To be perfectly frank OP, you sound like you have been a bit of a brat to your mother. You have totally taken advantage of her, and certainly do not understand the value of money. £50 is a lot of money - it might not seem like it to you, but i... (read in full...)

*eltic_tiger's friends

These are mutual friends, so *eltic_tiger has added them and they have added *eltic_tiger!

Abella agony auntAbella
Aunty BimBim agony auntAunty BimBim
C. Grant agony auntC. Grant
CaringGuy agony auntCaringGuy
chigirl agony auntchigirl
Denizen agony auntDenizen
dirtball agony auntdirtball
empty-1 agony auntempty-1
Illithid agony auntIllithid
Irish49 agony auntIrish49
Mark1978 agony auntMark1978
Miamine agony auntMiamine
Myau agony auntMyau
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
YouWish agony auntYouWish

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft