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*atatonik

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Why do people believe - or not believe - in God?

Q.   Im just curious here, I wanna hear from people who are and are not in anyway, religious. To the folk who to believe there's a god, why do you believe so? A personal miracle happened to you, or some sort of experience that has made you believe? Or ...

A.   31 December 2008: I was brought up in the Lutheran church. I do not believe in God. I tried as a child and have tried since as an adult, but simple reason will not allow me to suspend enough disbelief to accept without question a text that dates back to the Bronze ... (read in full...)

Do guys mind it if their gfs wear padded bras to make their breasts look bigger when going out?

Q.   Do guys mind it if their gfs wear padded bras to make their breasts look bigger when going out? Like there are certain bras and tops I can wear that make my boobs look much bigger than they actually are. My bf knows my size of course but I'm just ...

A.   31 December 2008: Bahaha. Size A (at best) here. I have a hard time finding bras that provide nipple coverage but AREN'T padded, because all the bra makers seem to assume naturally small girls want to be bigger. I have been with my current bf for four months and he's ... (read in full...)

My fiance is scaring me and making me think he might be gay or bi sexual.

Q.   My fiance is scaring me and making me think he might be gay or bi sexual. Here are the reasons: 1. He confessed to me that when he was in middle school he gaved a kiss to a guy because he was curious, confused etc but nothing else happened and he ...

A.   31 December 2008: The male G-spot is the prostate, which is actually located inside a man and most accessible via--yep, you guessed it--his bum. Quite a few straight men enjoy stimulation of this spot by their (female) partners. While you may not feel comfortable ... (read in full...)

My wife will not forgive and forget an event from 22 years ago!

Q.   I have been married for 20 years and have two kids 11+14. We have been faithful to each other throughout and have worked hard at the ups and downs of marriage. I want more physical stuff My wife wants more emotional stuff We both find ...

A.   31 December 2008: Don't forget that the original offense here was yours, and while your wife's reaction may not be completely rational, neither is it completely unfounded. Her unhappiness about the event 22 years ago is probably not an act of calculated deceit. I'm ... (read in full...)

Should I confront her about my suspicions?

Q.   I've been with my girl for a few years and we've had our share of problems. Now just last month before the holiday she went to New York for a week to be with family. Now she's gone back for the holidays again but now I'm noticing she only contacts ...

A.   31 December 2008: Definitely sounds a little weird. Actually, I think you are best served by simply asking her about what you have noticed. Start with the restrictive phone schedule. If she is up to anything, it's doubtful that she will come right out and tell you, ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid he won't be 'in love' with me. Is 4 months long enough to tell?

Q.   so i've been dating a new guy since my last relationship ended horribly. he's wonderful- older than me by a few years but he cares for me and shows it very often. we've been together for about 4 months- i have issues with trust and he has been ...

A.   31 December 2008: I think it's better that he's been honest with you about his doubts than if he came out and said it early on, and didn't mean it. Four months is not that long...give him time to sort out his feelings. He obviously cares for you very deeply if he is ... (read in full...)

What did she mean by her message?

Q.   Alright, so i like this girl alot. she's the same age as me and we have a damn near every thing there is in common. but idk if she likes me. ive got a hint i think, i said somthing to her on myspace about how a one of my girlfriends dumped me cus i ...

A.   31 December 2008: 13-15 eh? Please be careful with the drinking, not to preach but I have to say it. Some girls seem to enjoy guys who treat them like shit. It's a "thrill of the chase" type thing, I guess. If you feel that you possess someone's affection and devo... (read in full...)

How can I make it up to her?

Q.   My girlfriend, Sydney (of four years) is mad at me because I forgot her birthday (again I did it to her last year as well). This time she let me gave it and ended sleeping at a friend's house. To matters worse when I called her to apologize and ask ...

A.   31 December 2008: Well, she has a right to be mad over something like this, and I'm not sure a simple apology is going to make things right again. Whether or not the two of you are "over" depends on whether or not she will forgive you for this. Sydney and Cindy may ... (read in full...)

I'm so depressed in my marriage, I don't even want to wake up in the morning...

Q.   Im 18yrs old and i just got married about 3 months ago. I find myself becoming more and more depressed, i dont even wanna wake up in the morning. I started feeling this way about 2months ago, its makes me wonder if its bc i wasnt ready to get ...

A.   31 December 2008: What does this other man offer that your husband does not? If you can identify that, you have a starting point for what you and your husband need to work on TOGETHER if you wish to preserve your marriage. Seek couples counseling with your husband,... (read in full...)

Two 14 year olds + one ripped condom = one possible pregnancy?

Q.   I am only 14yrs old me and my girlfriend had sex she is also 14 the condom ripped. So far she hasnt experienced any signs of pregnancy. my question is how long does it take her to start those signs if in fact she is pregnant? can anyone help me ...

A.   31 December 2008: According to the insert on my birth control pills, a single act of unprotected sex carries with it an approximately 8% chance of pregnancy. This would vary according to where she is in her cycle, of course. Has she missed her period yet? If so, y... (read in full...)

Girls!! Why do you like the "landing strip" so much?

Q.   Soooooooooooooooo question to all girl, i wasnt wearing a shirt and my girlfriend saw the hair going from my belly button to i guess the lower part of my stomach i guess some people call it a landing strip or many other names. My girlfriend like ...

A.   30 December 2008: I always thought that what you describe was a "happy trail" and landing strips are when girls shave everything but a strip of pubic hair above the vagina...goes to show you what I know =P I'm guessing it's a matter of personal preference. I wouldn... (read in full...)

When I'm drunk I get violent

Q.   ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we live together and we're very happy, but when i go out and get drunk i am violent towards him. I dont know why, im not at all like that when soba and there is nothing wrong with us. He has stuck by me and ...

A.   30 December 2008: If not drinking is what it takes for you not to be violent, you may have to continue to exercise moderation with regard to alcohol. You don't have to give it up cold turkey, but if you love this guy it would be in your best interests to stop a few ... (read in full...)

Have a baby with my guy or wait for someone better?

Q.   Just a quickie Im 36 and in a relationship that I'm very unsure of. My boyfriend of 2 yrs can be sulky and childish and is never wrong. He wants us to have a child and I really want to start a family more than anything. He wont ever change an...

A.   30 December 2008: If you are not sure he is the right guy, then the last thing you should do is further cement your commitment to him with a child. If you know he won't ever change, it is up to you to decide whether you can live with him, possibly for the rest of ... (read in full...)

Myboyfriend is living with his ex, its killing me!

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for approx 20 months. I love him very much and we get on really well. However, I am really struggling as he lives with his ex (they have lived together for 20 years now). I trust him and am ...

A.   30 December 2008: I feel for you as this is definitely an awkward situation. If they own the place together, he probably isn't lying to you. I know there has been an increase in such living arrangements here in the US since the housing market has gone to shit; th... (read in full...)

In love with the geography teacher!!

Q.   okay, it's all common and stuff, but like. i think i am in love with my geography teacher. there's an age gap of 15 years, but i really don't care. he always looks at me in lessons, and everytime he says my name he smiles and says it in such an ...

A.   30 December 2008: I'm sorry to hear this, as it's a tough situation to be in. The reality is, he is getting married to someone else. Even if he did want you, he is your teacher, and you could get him in serious legal trouble if you try to pursue a relationship with ... (read in full...)

Finding it difficult to trust my wife....

Q.   im finding it realy hard to trust my wife ive bin wit her 7 years at 12 mmonth we went out and i caught her talking to another lad i think she kissed him but cant remeber for certain then at 15 month we had a break in our relationship she went out ...

A.   30 December 2008: Let me get this straight...she possibly kissed a guy (but you evidently weren't too bothered by it at the time if she did, because you can't remember it now?) Then, when you two were on a break, aka not dating, she went out with a friend. Well, at... (read in full...)

My Dad's behavior is way over the top!

Q.   My dad's been embarrassing me, and not in the "Dad dancing at a wedding kind of way". At a close friend of mine's engagement party (she's 25, he's 28), he stripped to his Y-fronts and began dancing to the music manically. Everyone looked on in hor...

A.   30 December 2008: His actions are definitely in bad taste, at the very least. If such things are completely unlike your father normally then yes, something is up. I know it's cliché but he may be having some sort of mid-life crisis. Ideally, you should suggest he ... (read in full...)

Am I in over my head or should I see what the future holds?

Q.   I am wondering about my relationship. I am 31 years old in a very serious relationship with a 36 year old man that has 4 kids. One of his kids is by my distance cousin. He tells me he loves me and even gave me a ring for Christmas but I have this ...

A.   30 December 2008: Your lover is a package deal, and the kids are part of the package. If you want to love him you will have to accept the family he already has. It may not be easy and it may not match up to your mental image of what your ideal family would be like, ... (read in full...)

He just wants to be friends so why does he still want sex?

Q.   ive been with boyfriend for 10 yrs have a child which shes 6 now and he recently broke up because ive made mistake and he can forgive but not forget hes made alot more mistakes than i have anyway he says he doesnt want anymore relationships just ...

A.   30 December 2008: It sounds like he's trying to use you for casual/uncommitted sex. He probably figures that it's easier to start a friends-with-benefits relationship with you than with some random woman, because the two of you have already been intimate and he knows ... (read in full...)

Obsessed with wife's ex-lover/experience

Q.   This sounds ridiculous but I need some perspective. I've been married 10 years. Good enough marriage. My wife isn't great in bed, and isn't enthusiastic about love-making, even though I sometimes make her howl with delight. However, I've been ...

A.   30 December 2008: Sorry, but I do find your question ridiculous. You slept with 12 women before her, and you have the nerve to complain that she wasn't a virgin when she met you? Hello! Double standards, anyone? She didn't know you then. She had no idea she was ... (read in full...)

Why is it so hard for him to tell his ex that he met someone?

Q.   I'm a little concerned with my relationship. My BF of 6 months is recently divorced and we met while he was waiting for it to be final. He still hasn't introduced me to his friends because his ex is friends with them too and I also haven't met his ...

A.   30 December 2008: If you have been together for six months, and you started dating before the divorce was final, I take it their divorce was quite recent. It is natural that the resulting situation would be a tricky one to navigate with family and friends. You don't ... (read in full...)

How can I tell him to leave me alone?

Q.   I'm 14, there's this boy i used to like in my primary school,(started all in year 5) he was nice one year, next year i guess hormones kicked in didn't like me much he done one of them hate things, were he totally hated my guts, swore and said many ...

A.   30 December 2008: If you don't want his attention then ignoring him is probably the best way to resolve this. All of the outrageous things he does are almost certainly to get your attention, and when you let it get to you or are bothered by it or even seem to notice ... (read in full...)

Is it time to give up on this relationship?

Q.   Hi, I will keep this as short as i can,it is quite long story. I had to go into hospital, this was approx 4 yrs ago because of my marriage break down, I was suffering from severe depression. I met a guy while i was there, he was also in for de...

A.   30 December 2008: I think many people would have given up on this relationship a long time ago. It is admirable that you are trying to make things work, but it sounds as if the problems that have arisen are not new or recent and that this on-again, off-agai... (read in full...)

I'm a lesbian but I'm not like other lesbians

Q.   A lot of people seem to think I'm 'weird' for various reasons, but I always tell myself that I'm a perfectly normal teenage lesbian. But some of the things others, including other lesbians, are saying is starting to make me wonder... One thing...

A.   30 December 2008: All of the traits you describe sound positive, healthy, and well-thought-out to me. Saying there is a baseline "normal" for a lesbian is about like trying to identify the standards for a "normal" heterosexual...pretty much impossible. Not all ... (read in full...)

The more we have sex the tighter it gets...

Q.   So, my boyfriend and I very much enjoy sex. But it becomes a problem that the more we have sex, the tighter, yes tighter my pussy gets. I don't know what to do, but it almost gets painful, which isnt a really big problem, considering he loves it ...

A.   30 December 2008: That does sound a bit unusual. You could always see a gynecologist about it if it's really bothering you. In the meantime, use plenty of lubricant and make sure your boyfriend takes the time to completely arouse you down there before he penetrates ... (read in full...)

Don't want mom to catch me

Q.   What do you think your mother would say if she found out you were masturbating? I don't want to tell her, and I know I won't, but in the chance that she catches me, how would I explain it to her. I am extremely embarrassed of it, and I do want to ...

A.   30 December 2008: First off, you don't need to feel embarrassed about it because it is perfectly normal and many young people, boys and girls, experiment with masturbation as they grow up and begin to explore their sexuality. I'm sure your mother wouldn't be pleas... (read in full...)

How can I solve this?

Q.   I am a 18 year old asian boy and I love a boy who is 13 . we are same sex and we love each other.But the other people don't accept it and want to forbid it.He is a dependent and live with his elder siblings.They are controlling him everythi...

A.   30 December 2008: At 13 years old he is considered underage in most countries and probably yours as well. If you want to pursue a relationship with him, you will have to wait until he is of legal age to consent to one. It's that simple. Relocating to the US is not an ... (read in full...)

Used protection..pregnant?

Q.   So I'm kinda in need of some help. well I think I might be pregnant. But idk. I'm really nervous about it. I'm 15 and I usually have my periods at the end of the month and my boobs hurt but thats normal for me before my period. My boyfriend and I ...

A.   30 December 2008: At 15, you are still young enough to experience natural irregularity with your period. If you are using condoms every time you have sex, it is very unlikely that you are pregnant. Is your period late? If so, you should be able to use a pregnancy ... (read in full...)

What do I have to do so he realizes that she is not meant for him?

Q.   So the first day of class this semester, i got my eye on this one really cute guy. I guess he noticed, because that weekend he started texting me. He got my number from one of his friends that i was good friends with. We texted that whole weekend, ...

A.   30 December 2008: First off, any attempts by you to make him "realize this girl is not meant for him" are only going to come across--to him, her, and everyone who knows any of you--as low, mean-spirited, and jealous. Tough, but that's how it is. Second, even if ... (read in full...)

What should I say to the doctor about my depression?

Q.   Tommorow I am going to the doctors to try and get medication for my depression. The reason I need these meds is because I'm losing all motivation to do anything, I mean, I've almost quit my job, and I've almost started smoking again! And I'm close ...

A.   30 December 2008: Yes, you can. Whether (s)he puts you on medication or not will be up to his/her discretion, though. As Blue_Angel said, be completely honest with your doc (yes, including your thoughts of self harm) so that you can get the most accurate and most ... (read in full...)

What's wrong with him? I think there's a lot more to being committed.

Q.   Please don't say break up with him and nothing else. I might break up but what to talk to him about these things. I want to know what to say to my bf about this stuff. I've had a bf for a couple of years. He said he is committed to me becau...

A.   30 December 2008: I see two parts to this question, correct me if I'm wrong. First off you are asking if his definition of commitment is adequate. For some people, it certainly is. For him, it definitely seems to be. You don't specify what further commitment you are ... (read in full...)

Could I get into trouble for not calling after my procedure?

Q.   I know this is totally irresponsible of me, but here it goes. I had an abortion at the beginning of 2008, i had to get emergency medi-cal and they told me that i had to call them and cancel the emergency medical after the procedure. So i totally ...

A.   30 December 2008: You should definitely call since you haven't done so already. As for "trouble," I doubt it, unless you have since used the Medi-Cal coverage for unrelated procedures that they didn't originally authorize, i.e. anything besides the abortion... (read in full...)

How do I make a decision when I have strong feelings for both of them?

Q.   I had been dating a man for over two years. As he is in mining he was hardly ever home, and I lived about two hours away and would travel to see him when he was. We were in love, but then when I suggested it was time for us to live together he ...

A.   30 December 2008: You have to, as it's not fair to either of them to lead both on while you try to make up your mind. Why do you think your ex has now asked you to live with him when he was opposed to the idea before? Jealousy? Or do you think he is sincere?... (read in full...)

I'm confused - is he really interested in me?

Q.   hi there, right now there is this guy whom i've recently just had a liking to, he belongs to a group of friends that i always hang out with. i do have a liking for him but i'm really not sure if he feels the same way towards me too. we have ...

A.   20 December 2008: Hi :) It sounds as if he is interested in you (the teasing, etc. are all good signs). But I suspect that you put him off a little with the remark on MSN about your ex. You might not have meant it as such, but this guy probably took it as an indic... (read in full...)

I feel like an un-wanted guest, what should I do?

Q.   Help, my friend invited me and another friend to cape town. we had a great two weeks. on the way to the airport he persuaded me to stay for a few months and go traveling with him. This went down very badly with his girlfriend who was angry he never ...

A.   14 December 2008: He did ruin the rest of your holiday, and by making you feel unwelcome he is at least partly responsible for you having to book a last-minute and therefore more expensive flight home. Believe it or not, his offer of money probably benefits... (read in full...)

He wanted a "loose relationship" but now was a committed one, should I trust him?

Q.   Hi All, I have been involved with this guy now for 3 months. He initially didnt want a committed relationship, he said he wanted a "loose relationship" and so we decided to be just friends. Now all of a sudden he wants me to be his girlfriend....

A.   8 December 2008: I don't think you have any reason to distrust him. It sounds like he has only been honest with you, first in telling you that he wanted to keep the relationship open and now to say that his feelings for you have progressed. He didn't hesitate to ... (read in full...)

He already trashed my reputation! Does he still want to go out?

Q.   ok, so i just recently found out that a senior at my highschool told people that he slept with me! i already no he likes me and i know that bye telling me and becuase of female intuiton. now when he sees me its like he looks at me but not at my ...

A.   8 December 2008: He might, but I don't think you really want to be dating someone who would trash your reputation to get what he wants. If he's telling these people stuff that didn't even happen he might very tell them details of anything you actually do with him, ... (read in full...)

My fiancee showed up when I was flirting a bit with my lesbian friend, what can I do now?

Q.   I was at work when my friend (shes a lesbian and I also knew her since we both were 5) popped in to say happy brithday and to congardlate me getting merried (in 5 weeks). One thing lead to another and we started flirting a bit. When my fiance showed ...

A.   8 December 2008: Who did the cheating? You or a previous boyfriend? Either way explains her response a little better, but if you never cheated it's still not really fair of her to jump to conclusions on this.... (read in full...)

I use a virbrator but I wish I could masturbate ON MY OWN...

Q.   Hey everyone I am a 25 year old female who just realized she was a sexual person maybe about 5 years ago. A late bloomer indeed. Since then I have been doing a lot of research and reading about the female orgasm. On my 21st birthday, my f...

A.   8 December 2008: You haven't broken yourself, so no worries there. What you HAVE done is acclimate your body to sexual stimulation in a certain format (in this case, the vibrator). You're used to that now so it makes sense that the vibrator will provoke the quicker ... (read in full...)

Is my hubby gay?? Why does he want to have sex with another man while I watch?

Q.   I have a problem...My husband and I have been married for 17 years.. We got married very young. I was 18 he was 23 he is the only man I've ever been with..He tought me everything I know about sex..We have always been very kinky in the bedroom..He ...

A.   8 December 2008: It's possible that he is gay, but it's also possible he's bi, questioning, or just plain and simple having a midlife crisis of sorts that is expressing itself through his sexuality. Midlife crises can provoke the sufferer to take risks they might ... (read in full...)

My fiancee showed up when I was flirting a bit with my lesbian friend, what can I do now?

Q.   I was at work when my friend (shes a lesbian and I also knew her since we both were 5) popped in to say happy brithday and to congardlate me getting merried (in 5 weeks). One thing lead to another and we started flirting a bit. When my fiance showed ...

A.   8 December 2008: Give her time to cool off and then talk to her about this. Explain that you didn't see the harm in it, since your friend isn't even attracted to men. Then hope she believes you and is willing to leave it at that. If she continues to make a huge deal ... (read in full...)

I feel like an un-wanted guest, what should I do?

Q.   Help, my friend invited me and another friend to cape town. we had a great two weeks. on the way to the airport he persuaded me to stay for a few months and go traveling with him. This went down very badly with his girlfriend who was angry he never ...

A.   7 December 2008: Sorry to hear that your vacation turned into such a hassle for you! Well, the fare back will probably cost a fair amount no matter when you leave. if you are no longer enjoying your time there then don't stay, it will only frustrate you. It is not ... (read in full...)

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