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My boyfriends suggestions are illogical and dangerous.

Q.   I had to travel for good to find a better life but he convinced me to comeback and live as a real couple with him. Back then our relationship has been starting we shortly met, no details , no long conversations, the looks and decent shy approach ...

A.   5 August 2017: I'd like to add to already great advice given and say that he seems too self-absorbed to recognize your needs or to compromise in a relationship. He does not have the emotional capacity to take on the responsibility of someone else's happiness. In ... (read in full...)

Are all men vain?

Q.   Are guys really vain? I'm an insecure female and I have from what most men say and ideal face and body and I get complimented a lot- I don't share a lot of myself with the men I've been because it takes time - they also have been really bad men- my ...

A.   11 July 2017: I used to watch this reality show called, "Dating in the dark". The premise that people would date in the dark (without knowing what the other person looks like). In the end they would choose one partner and then the big reveal to see what each ... (read in full...)

Why is he becoming distant?

Q.   Why would a man pull away just because the relationship can't go anywhere? Why can't he just live in the moment? I'm asking because if a man really likes a woman, how is it so easy for him to pull away? It seems backwards. If I really like someone, ...

A.   24 June 2017: When a man loves a woman or is committed to a woman he won't find excuses to not be in a relationship with her. From the little that you wrote I think he does not see you as a long term partner. He probably has a list in his head of what he is lo... (read in full...)

He is getting married next month, I want to tell him I still love him!

Q.   Hello, My ex will get married in one month from today - should I tell him I love him? We met nine years ago while travelling and had a whirlwind long-distance romance / relationship. I've never experienced being pulled towards someone lik...

A.   17 June 2017: Yes! Go ahead and tell him that you still love him. I think this apple cart needs to be disturbed so that the truth can be revealed: Will he choose to be with you or his fiancee? You seem to be convinced that he will choose you, but be prepared! ... (read in full...)

Married to an abusive man, 5 kids and I think I'm falling in love with another man

Q.   Ok so I'm married going on 4 years this month. We've been together for 5+ years. I was abused in a previous marriage emotionally and now am putting up with physical and emotional abuse from my current husband... he's a disabled vet and things ...

A.   17 June 2017: This infatuation is just an escape from your own life. You're not in love with the Walgreen man. You are in love with the idea of a man you think he might be...a prince charming who will whisk you away from a life of drudgery. The Walgreen man ... (read in full...)

What's the best thing to do? I have a crush on a hot co-worker

Q.   Well, I have a crush on coworker, but she is dating another co-worker and has a kid with him. She asked me if I think her boyfriend would cheat on her. I told her "no, I didn't think so". She supposed to come over and hang out, but Im not going to ...

A.   10 June 2017: I think you're asking for trouble if you get involved with her. She is committed to someone else and because of that child they will always be in each other's lives. She is also a co-worker which makes it even more taboo. The potential losses far ... (read in full...)

What can I do? How should I handle this? Her sexual past and her ex who was her FWB are issues that are making me feel insecure.

Q.   Ok so me and my gf have been going out for about 8 months. And I've been struggling with her sexual past a lot recently. She's slept with about 10 people before me, they were all ons apart from one friends with benefits she had just before we start...

A.   10 June 2017: He is just winding you up to make you feel jealous. He is playing on your insecurities. I even think that half of what he said to you is fantasy and not reality. In other words, he's exaggerating to get a rise out of you. Why do you refer to sex ... (read in full...)

I think this 55 year old man may be harassing me. Can someone help me with this problem?

Q.   Hey can someone help me out? Gonna explain the story here sorry if its long. Im 20 years old. I live in a small town where they're aren't many bars and there are like 2 or three bars people go to. My boyfriend is a regular at one he's been going ...

A.   5 June 2017: This man is banking on your fear. He thinks he can intimidate you to do whatever he wants. Scum bag! I really think you should file a report with the police. At least the report is there in case anything happens. Save all the texts and voice ... (read in full...)

I fell in love with a part-time escort and not sure what to do now

Q.   Long read, please be patient. I am a working professional in my early 30’s and I've been living and working in Southeast Asia for the past 10 years. I live and work in a rather remote and industrial area and thus I've always found it diffic...

A.   27 May 2017: A friend of mine used to date an exotic dancer / prostitute. They went everywhere together, spent nights together. She made him feel like he was the only man in her life. He was not. He was a client. She had other clients whom she treated the ... (read in full...)

He has ED, should I stay with him?

Q.   I am planning to settle down with this guy as I really want kids (I've wanted them for years) and I'd like someone to help bring them up. I've been dating for a few months and found out that he has erectile dysfunction. I am not in love with him...

A.   27 May 2017: He sounds like he'll make a great friend. I don't think you should settle. I think you should keep looking. Find someone you have great chemistry with and who can and want to have children with you.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's emotion letter to ex for closure has left me feeling second best

Q.   I'm in a confused relationship, my boyfriend of 3 years (were living together) send a closure to his ex-gf behind my back. She cheated on him with another guy 5 years before we got together. He already told me that he dated one girl after her before ...

A.   20 May 2017: I feel your pain. This happened to me before and I left. Best thing I ever did. I would advise that you do the same. He's not over her. He's still in love with her. You are there to fill the void but he still feels empty without her. Don't ... (read in full...)

I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!

Q.   I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...

A.   20 May 2017: I agree with chigirl. I think it is great that you are taking this opportunity to enjoy life and experience some happiness and excitement. Who knows where this relationship will lead. The point is that you got an opportunity to experience joy and ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship work when you love their personality but aren't attracted to them sexually?

Q.   I talked to a guy for a long time via text before actually meeting him. I loved talking to him and we share the same humour. Upon meeting him I continue to love his personality but I am not physically attracted to him. Can a relationship ever work ...

A.   20 May 2017: If he is an amazing lover then yes. I've dated guys that I was not physically attracted to at first. The ones that I fell in love with were absolutely amazing in bed. The ones that were just so so, I quickly lost interest. ... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   19 May 2017: I know exactly how you feel. I've been hospitalised twice in my life where I had to stay a few nights. I've had some really lovely nurses, but I had some really horrible ones. My last hospital stay was particularly bad because one of the night ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   13 May 2017: I think you need to be very clear and honest with her about your intentions and you have to be prepared to face the consequences. She has her heart set on getting engaged to you after investing 3 years of her life into this relationship. If you ... (read in full...)

I'm upset my girlfriends parents haven't integrated

Q.   So me and my girlfriend have been dating for three and a half years and renting a flat together for a year. We have a good relationship, are very much in love and plan our future together. There is, however, one issue that drives me insane. Her pare...

A.   13 May 2017: I live in a very multicultural city where many different languages can be overheard on a street corner, the bus, the grocery store, etc. It has become the norm really. It is a plus to become multi-linguistic here. If I travel to a city in Quebec, ... (read in full...)

How do guys cope with knowing their Gf's ex was well endowed? Do girls miss it and just settle ?

Q.   Hello all, I have always struggled with intimate things as I would be worried about if my partner had been with very well endowed men. I know that statistically most guys will have to deal with that. But how do they? It always seems like...

A.   15 April 2017: My ex husband was well endowed and I did not enjoy sex with him. It was very painful and I could not wait for it to be over. It was awful. I've also been with a guy who was less than average size but my God the sex was amazing because he somehow ... (read in full...)

My Gf attends functions with her friends by herself in order to avoid the risk of losing face. This concerns me. How should I handle this?

Q.   I have a problem and I need some sound advice. I'm caucasian and my girlfriend is asian. We both get along great except for one big issue in our lives, and that revolves around how she worries about how some in her community may frown upon inte...

A.   8 April 2017: Personally I would not date anyone who was not proud to be seen with me. I've been on both sides of the fence regarding this issue: The one who did not want to be seen with my partner (I did not feel comfortable being seen with him because deep ... (read in full...)

Coping strategies would be appreciated for bad office situation!

Q.   Not a relationship problem but hoped you guys could give me a bit of advice. I work in a small company of just over 20 staff, most of us working in a large open plan office. One of the women, who is in her 30s, has taken to wearing short SH...

A.   8 April 2017: If this had happened in my office, the person who is improperly dressed will be sent home immediately without pay for that day. The same thing would happen if someone was wearing a strong perfume. The HR department sends out regular e-mails to the ... (read in full...)

Getting my love's past behavior out of my head

Q.   Dear agony aunt, Please bear with me – my story might be a little long. But to make it short I work as an expat in a foreign country. I’m in my early thirties and about six months ago I met women who is 7 years my senior (also an expat, albeit...

A.   1 April 2017: She is being very vulnerable with you, by opening up and telling you about her past experiences. This means she trusts and loves you. In a way, it's a test to see if you will accept her even with these mistakes. Nothing feels safer than opening ... (read in full...)

Husband's penis smells like condoms and we never use them!

Q.   Yesterday my husband came very late from work, and he had been drinking and his penis smelled like condoms!, Earlier he called me from work and said hey! I want to take you to the mall and didn't say for what reason, he wanted it to be a surprise ...

A.   11 March 2017: If your instincts are telling you that your husband is cheating then most likely he is. The red flags are certainly there. He will never confess to cheating. The only way to find out for sure is to do some investigations yourself or if you can ... (read in full...)

People changing their minds about crushing on you years later...

Q.   When someone turns you down romantically or makes no time for your friendship, then years later they see you again. Suddenly, like nothing has happened they are all over you, and suddenly attracted you. Do you give them a chance or leave them? ...

A.   14 January 2017: I would call them out on it and ask them all the hard questions that they probably don't want to answer. If there are any unresolved feelings on your part then you need to confront them about it and talk it out. If they run away from you because ... (read in full...)

Should I listen to my heart or to my mind?

Q.   Hi, i have fallen for my assistant. Its just that we are so different. We come from different strata s of society, different upbringing and different religion. We have different tastes. But we get along very well in office. Now i cant stop thinking...

A.   14 January 2017: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” - Rumi It's best to pursue something now and find out if the relationship will work, rather than live with regret years later and exist in... (read in full...)

I'm concerned that my wife is texting a younger male co-worker outside of work!

Q.   My wife is a manager in a small store of 20 employees. She texts and Facebook messages a male employee half her age. The texts/messages are both work related and non work related. Non work related include videos of songs and home decor along basic ...

A.   14 January 2017: I think your insecurity is getting the better of you. If you dictate who your wife should be friends with because you are either jealous or don't think you measure up, that's not good. This is your issue. Not hers. If it was a female employee, ... (read in full...)

How do I tell a sexting creep I'm not interested without hurting him.

Q.   Hi every one, I need help to tell him I'm nit interested. I had a one night stand about 5 months ago, and have been texting him since. But he has tried sexting me for a few weeks now, I keep trying to change the subject, but he's not getting ...

A.   31 December 2016: Be direct. Tell him exactly how you feel. You don't need to be mean to him. You just need to be truthful, clear and direct. The truth may disappoint him, but it's not your responsibility to coddle him, and you should not feel guilty about being ... (read in full...)

22 years in a loveless abusive marriage. What should I do?

Q.   Have been living a loveless marriage for 22yrs, always abusing me verbally like am not pretty, not compatible, he's always the one that brings quarrel telling me to go. But the kids am afraid of quitting am also from a broken home I knew what I ...

A.   26 November 2016: You have to develop the inner strength and courage to leave him. The only thing I can assure you is that there is nothing to fear when you step out into the unknown. Somehow guardian angels show up in the form of strangers to help. Somehow you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't act like a boyfriend

Q.   So.... My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and are living together. We rarely argue. My problem is that most of the time I feel like I don't have a boyfriend. No texts or calls from him unless he has a question. When he gets home from work ...

A.   19 November 2016: You should read up on the 5 languages of love: "It outlines five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls "love languages": receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), ... (read in full...)

My partner is more interested in pleasing his mother than me

Q.   My fiancé and I have just discovered that I'm pregnant and our wedding was booked for the same month the baby is due so we've decided to bring it forward. We've given our small party of 40 guests the new date which is still 3 months away and ...

A.   22 October 2016: Time to put your foot down. Either it's going to be the date that you selected or no wedding until you are ready to walk down the aisle. The mother is being very unreasonable. If you don't put your foot down now, she is going to rule the roost in ... (read in full...)

Why did he present as single and not wear any ring? Only telling me later? I broke up, but now he's pursuing me. How do I handle this?

Q.   I'm a divorced mom of 2 children. Single for almost 3 years now. I am tall, thin, athletic, and would consider myself a 7.5 – 8, however, six nights a month doesn’t really allow a lot of free time to date. About 7 months ago, I met a very cute ...

A.   8 October 2016: I think he is an experienced cheater and you're not the only one he's cheating on his wife with. He is using your vulnerability to get some action on the side. He knew exactly how to play you and he enjoys the thrill of the chase and the sneaking ... (read in full...)

I believe my husband’s client was flirting with him! She shared way too much personal information!

Q.   My husband is a building contractor and recently met with a woman to give an estimate for repairs at her residence. I accompanied him as we were on our way to dinner after this as it was in the early evening hours however, I remained in the vehicle ...

A.   10 September 2016: In a job like his one and in any customer / client oriented jobs, you will always get a customer who shares too much information, but if you want the job and a good recommendation afterwards, you shut up and listen. It is part of good customer ... (read in full...)

Should I say anything to my best friend about her new relationship?

Q.   Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this. My best friend has been single almost constantly for 10 years and obviously at times this has got her really down and I've often had to pick up the pieces. She saw a guy briefly for about three ...

A.   10 September 2016: I don't think this has anything to do with a deal breaker. I think she feels a spark and connection with this guy that makes her want to explore a relationship with him. In the end that is what we are all seeking with someone else...a connection.... (read in full...)

Is it fair? Is he expecting me to pay more than my share?

Q.   Hi everyone my boyfriend and me have just got a house together we have 2 kids we have lived together for 4 months now the problem is he agreed to pay the rent while I pay the gas electric and water food and things for the kids I have 2 jobs only...

A.   10 September 2016: I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to these issues. I know that in this day and age it should be 50/50, but you are making less money than he is and for me personally I would expect that he handle most of the major bills. For eg. Rent and other ... (read in full...)

How do I meet bisexual people?

Q.   So I've recently decided to explore my fantasies about being with another man. I discovered I enjoy being with a man sexually but still prefer to have relationships with women. I have very little experience as a bi sexual and would like advice on ...

A.   10 September 2016: Try a gay bar. There is also a website called grindr.... (read in full...)

Neighbors won't share parking spaces

Q.   Hi, my question is not a relationship question but I need your suggestion. I live in a 2 floor apartment. The first floor neighbors are a couple in their early 30s. We didn't have a parking and I wanted to leave few months ago for this reason but my ...

A.   10 September 2016: This is not childish at all. You have a legitimate concern. I think that you should address this to your landlord and ask him to make sure that there is a parking space for you and ask him to ensure that your neighbours understand that one parking ... (read in full...)

Has this instant connection got a future?

Q.   Several years ago I started dog-sitting for a couple, grew close to their dogs, and eventually them. I have since been through the death of one of the dogs, and the adoption of another. More importantly, I have become rather close to the husba...

A.   3 September 2016: You've got to take this chance and ask her out. Otherwise you will be living with the "what if" and "if only" for the rest of your life. The worst scenario is that she will say no but at least you will know that it was not meant to be. If she ... (read in full...)

Do other guys feel this resentment ? It's making me question my sexuality

Q.   I have this issue with my sexual identity and was wondering if other gay men possibly feel the same way. Cutting to the point, I feel jealous towards gay men or bisexual men who have or has had sexual relationships with women I can't exactly desc...

A.   27 August 2016: I think you should pay for the experience of being with a woman, meaning you should hire someone. I think it will be unfair to a woman or anyone if you "use" them to experiment with, unless you are honest with them from the start and she is a ... (read in full...)

Nice girl/ compliments/ kinda hard to understand/ help?

Q.   Hey everybody! How is it going? I need your guys help on this thing, I've never had a longboard relationship, but i blame it on me, I never had patience to put up with relationship issues and never looked for it. Although, I also never had proble...

A.   27 August 2016: Sorry man. She is not interested in you at all:(... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house

Q.   I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...

A.   27 August 2016: Red flag. Red flag. Red flag. Don't let him manipulate you into giving up something that you love and cherish. You'll end up living with regret afterwards. Tell him that the answer is No.... (read in full...)

How could I make things work? I love my cousin

Q.   My cousin and i talk frequently by phone. We text and message each other a lot. I never experienced such love and comprehension for any man (not even my ex husband) like i do for him. I love him from the heart. But my feelings towards him are ...

A.   30 July 2016: In some cultures it's acceptable to marry your first cousin. If you come from a culture that accepts it, then I would suggest that you speak to your parents about it and have them arrange the marriage...if this is what you want.... (read in full...)

Is it fair that I don't want my boyfriend to go drinking with his female colleagues?

Q.   Hey guys :) so I've boyfriend for 6 years now, we are usually very happy, and we've been living together for 1 year. Neither of us go out drinking a lot (we are both very homely). Well recently boyfriend started a new office job, and his team has...

A.   30 July 2016: I don't think you should forbid him to go out with his work colleagues. That's too controlling. How would you feel if he put restrictions on your outings? This is more about your insecurities, which you need to deal with. Going out with his work ... (read in full...)

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