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*exie88 agony aunt


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*exie88's profile:

I've been on DC for a while now and enjoy reading and answering questions.

Although I do like to help out, I cannot answer questions sent to me via email, due to time restrictions. For the best outcome, I recommend posting your questions on the website for a number of us to answer.

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Going out as friend when he's in a relationship?

Q.   Okay, the last 4/5 weekends I've been hanging out with the guys and become quite friendly with one of them, he has a girlfriend. He has asked if I would like to go out for a meal with him and a couple of drinks. Its not a date but what I want ...

A.   3 April 2012: This is a date, or at least his way to see how far you'll go. If I was you I'd stay away. Why do you want to go? I could be wrong but you agreeing to go out with him only means trouble for you. Whether it's wrong or right, you're bound to get hurt... (read in full...)

Bf and I work together on the same floor and I'm going insane thinking that he might like his attractive PA more than he likes me

Q.   don't know what's happening to me lately, I have got really jealous and insecure and it's really starting to get me down as I seem to be constantly upset over something, if its not one girl its another. I work in the same company as my boyfriend ...

A.   15 March 2012: You're right when you say that thinking like this and constantly asking him about it will ruin your relationship. Things you need to keep in mind: 1. He's with you for a reason. If he wanted someone else he wouldn't be with you. 2. If he... (read in full...)

Is it better to tell a guy you like him, or play it cool?

Q.   So. I'm into a guy friend of mine. We're both 19. Pretty sure he knows (all our friends know). We hang out a lot and do stuff together and talk quite a bit, but so far he really hasn't been the initiator for a whole lot of it, although he seems to ...

A.   15 March 2012: My gut feeling is that your friend is not that interested in you. I'm sure he likes your company, talking to you etc but he's not interested the way you want him to be. You've given him a lot and he hasn't reciprocated. It doesn't matter that he's ... (read in full...)

Do I text him ?

Q.   I'm recently single so have been going out with the girls as par. i met a guy on a night out took a while but he came up to me told me i was outstanding. came back to mine then day after his is manically texting me asking me to meet up again. w...

A.   8 February 2012: Whatever you do DON'T TEXT HIM!!! He's not interested. He stood you up once, didn't show up when you were out the second time, and couldn't be bothered texting you the first time he wasn't going to show up. I'm sure he finds you attracti... (read in full...)

Why are his responses getting shorter? Is he into me or not?

Q.   I had what appears to be a nice guy message me on a dating site. He initiated the contact, so that's a plus in my book. We've each replied once a day for a few days. I'm keeping it light and trying to ask him questions to get more info out of him. ...

A.   8 February 2012: Most guys on dating sites are talking to more than one woman. Perhaps at this point in time you're not no.1 on the list so he's still in contact but has cooled down a bit. He keeps in touch because it's a safety net. Perhaps his no.1 will not work ... (read in full...)

Should I be worried about the lack of romance in this new relationship?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about five months. We are grown- I'm almost 30, he's 35... Our relationship is fantastic and I am very happy with him. But there is this one thing that keeps bothering me a little bit. He's not romantic, or ...

A.   8 February 2012: You are buying into the 'he should do this, he should do that' thing. This is the wrong thing to do. It sounds like you have a great guy so don't ruin it with expectations of what he should be doing. If he's attentive to you, appreciates you, ... (read in full...)

We've been dating for 5 years and never had sex so now he's leaving me

Q.   please help.Ihave been with my boyfriend for five years and we have never had sex.resently he stopped calling and texting me and i when i asked him,he said if he doesn't get it from me,where do i expect him to get it from? however when i told him ...

A.   7 February 2012: You're allowed to feel how ever you want about sex. If you don't want to have it, then don't. I agree with the others that after 5 years in a relationship, you'd at least want to have sex with him...if not now, maybe sometime in the future. Have you ... (read in full...)

Should I wait to see how long it takes for him to text me, or just go ahead and try to get something planned?

Q.   A few weeks ago a guy I've been chatting with asked for my number. He texted me shortly after that but since then I always start the texting off and there's about 1-in-2 chance he'll reply (more likely to respond if I ask a question) He's not ...

A.   7 February 2012: If he was interested he'd be calling you, texting you, emailing you...whatever, you get the point. All I can say is that he's not that into you. Like katiekate said, leave the contacting to the guy to begin with. This is the only way you'll k... (read in full...)

How do I stop my extreme jealousy?

Q.   dear agony aunts, im currently going out with the love of my life. ive been dating him for almost a year, its both our first relationships. we have never had any problems in our relationship, and we trust each other without a doubt. there would ju...

A.   18 January 2012: What are you afraid of? Are you scared of him leaving you for one of these girls? Or do you not like all this attention he gets? I'd guess it's the first one. There's nothing wrong with the way you feel but you need to understand that constant... (read in full...)

Is there any harm in his posting my picture on his wall with the caption "smitten"?

Q.   I have met this guy once in person before, and we are supposed to be going on a date this week. He has posted my photo on his facebook wall without my permission. You can share photos on facebook. He wrote a comment underneath saying " smitten ! ". ...

A.   18 January 2012: I wouldn't call this 'normal' behaviour but perhaps this is his way of showing his excitement about your date? How old is he? This sort of thing doesn't strike me as coming from someone mature. I don't want to jump the gun but be careful of guys ... (read in full...)

I think we're exclusive, but I don't know how to ask.

Q.   I've been seeing this guy for almost two months now and I am beginning to have feelings for him though I am still not sure whether we are a couple or not. I see him a few times a week and stay over with him at least once a week and txt each other ...

A.   11 January 2012: If you're feeling low because of your job then wait a while before you talk to him. And don't do it via text. Lots of things are misinterpreted when texting. You need to talk to him in person. Don't be scared. You have a right to know where th... (read in full...)

Why do I always fall for girls online?

Q.   Every girl I've ever had a crush on for the past ten years, I've met online. It's not that I don't meet many girls in real life, I do; I just can't have the same conversations with them, they tend to be too "normal", or at least they try too har...

A.   9 January 2012: You're not doing anything wrong, there's no right or wrong in life. I think you have an affinity to girls online because when you meet someone online, and you don't know a lot about them, your mind starts to fill in the blanks with those qualitie... (read in full...)

I think we're exclusive, but I don't know how to ask.

Q.   I've been seeing this guy for almost two months now and I am beginning to have feelings for him though I am still not sure whether we are a couple or not. I see him a few times a week and stay over with him at least once a week and txt each other ...

A.   9 January 2012: Whatever you do, don't start backing off. This will only confuse him. You don't say much about your relationship with him so it's hard to judge what he might be thinking. Perhaps he just thinks you're exlusive but doesn't think he needs to say a... (read in full...)

I like him but he's leaving! Do I tell him?

Q.   I have this guy that I have known for like over three years. And he left for varsity, and the other night we saw each other like bumped into each other and kind of clicked. Anyway we exchanged number and 20 mins later he asked what I was doing the ...

A.   9 January 2012: Rule no. 1 - never tell a guy how you feel first. Most of the time this doesn't work in your favour. This guy is leaving and might be looking for some last minute fun. Although I could be wrong here, you telling him how you feel, tips the balance ... (read in full...)

Now that I said I'll go back with him, he's stopped texting and calling!

Q.   I was going out with a guy for 6 months. during those 6 months my boyfriend use to text and call me and how so many cute and sweet things to me. but just a couple of months down are relationship he started to ignore me when text/call him for like ...

A.   9 January 2012: When a guy's all hot and cold, I'd say he's cold... i.e.he's not that keen He liked the chase and he probably wanted to see if he could get you back. Since you've been talking to him and you're single he knows you probably want to get back tog... (read in full...)

Aspie obsessed over girl

Q.   Hi everyone I am a aspie (a person with Asperger's Syndrome) and could use some advise concerning my current crush. For those of you who don't know about asperger's... well I am pretty bad at reading body language and have been (and probably will ...

A.   5 January 2012: 1. You're not alone in not being able to tell when someone's interested in you. For the most part, many of us are clueless when it comes to these things, so don't worry about that. 2. Even though you've given a lot of examples of what happens ... (read in full...)

First online date...Pointers?

Q.   I sign up on i dating site there this guy on it asked me if i wanted 2 catch up for a drink on saturday night . Should i go and where the best place to going never being on a dating site before? and what should i watch out for any help would be grea...

A.   5 January 2012: Best places to go are where there are a lot of people around and where there is no chance of you two being alone. If I was you I would have suggested we meet for coffee/lunch rather than Saturday night drinks. That way, if you don't like him, thi... (read in full...)

What was he after and why did he pursue me for so long?

Q.   I met with this guy about 4 times. We also kept in touch by phoning and texting each other. He agreed to taking things slow with me and insisted that he wasn't after me for just sex. After our date he invited me to his place. We were both drunk and ...

A.   4 January 2012: I was going to write some long winded answer but Cerberus has said it all :) It's very obvious what this guy wants. And when a guy says that sex is no big deal and that it doesn't mean anything, you RUN!!... (read in full...)

Are all sexual relationships a roller coaster ride?

Q.   I have been warned by a lot of people that sexual relationships are not all their cracked up to be. That there are a lot of ups and downs. Is this true? Or is it possible to have a relationship where there are plenty of ups and few downs?...

A.   4 January 2012: What do you mean by 'sexual relationships'? FWB relationships would be pretty up and down, and perhaps more down, but a long term committed relationship should in general have more ups than downs.... (read in full...)

Any advice on dealing with rejection? And how to hold out hope that one day I will find someone?

Q.   I'm feeling a bit sad about the possibility of being rejected by someone who I was convinced that was interested in me. I posted a question on here asking if people agreed with me that the fact that he has not replied to a message I sent him mean...

A.   4 January 2012: I used to be just like you. I'd meet someone and they'd show some interest and I'd develop a big crush on them only to find out they weren't as interested as I thought they were. It was like this for a few years, up and down, and it was exhausting. ... (read in full...)

Does it seem like this guy is interested?

Q.   Few weeks ago, this guy that I met through friends started talking to me which I felt flattered by that someone could have taken an interest in me. We met again last week at a friend's house and spoke for a few minutes before I left late into t...

A.   4 January 2012: Sorry to say this but he's not interested. If he was, you would've heard from him already... (read in full...)

He changed plans and is going skiing instead of taking me to my winter formal. Is it okay to go with one of my guy friends? What are your thoughts?

Q.   So my boyfriend of a year and a half and I have been planning on going to my senior year winter formal together at my school (he attends a different school). He recently got invited to go skiing during the week of the dance. Upon asking me if I ...

A.   13 December 2011: You're perfectly fine in wanting a date for the event. If I was you I'd be questioning your boyfriend's willingness to drop you at the last minute to go on a skiing trip! Is this trip very special or something? He knew about the dance, he knew you... (read in full...)

I know she has a boyfriend, I want to get to know her, should I send a message on facebook?

Q.   right i work at a big supermarket and the checkouts are in front of the store and my department is right at the end next to the checkouts and there is this girl that works on the checkouts every sunday. i think that she is beautiful. i jus...

A.   6 December 2011: What do you think will come of this? The girl has a boyfriend. Are you expecting her to cheat? Leave him? In my experience, this never ends well. If you're really that into her and you just can't help yourself, have you tried talking to her in p... (read in full...)

How do I know if this online guy is real or fake?

Q.   I live in scotland and have been talking to this guy now, my boyfriend apparently but we've been talking for 7 months and he doesn't like phoning plus we haven't met. Im serious about him but have my doubts that he is a fake. He lives in wales so to ...

A.   6 December 2011: What do you want from this whole thing? Do you want to meet the guy? If so, tell him it's been great chatting online but you'd like to hear his voice. If that goes well, suggest meeting up in Scotland. If you get to that stage, have him come to you ... (read in full...)

She takes so long to respond, is she just not interested in me?

Q.   I was texting a girl one evening, and she had to go and I wished her luck on her presentation and for her to tell me how it goes. She responded short and blunt "thanks and will do". But she hasn't responded, she had done something similar, I had ...

A.   6 December 2011: You two have different styles of communicating, different expectations about texting and responding. What are you trying here? Do you like her? Do you want to ask her out? If so, leave the texting alone, pick up the phone and ask her out. ... (read in full...)

I like this girl -asked her on a date - said yes - got busy - now seems distant.

Q.   Ok, here goes nothing! I am a confident 23 year old male. I met this girl (19) about 2 months ago and we hit it off. We spent many late night chatting/texting each other. Mostly learning about each other through those chats. I found out that s...

A.   6 December 2011: I'd say she's not that interested. She might have said yes the first time but only to be nice about it. People can talk and chat forever but when it comes down to it, and a date is involved, many back out. But, I could be completely wrong. T... (read in full...)

Why do guys never have feelings for me?

Q.   I just don't understand what is going on. There's a bunch of guys that I'm ALWAYS talking to, and some that I flirt with constantly, with them flirting back. Yet, they never ask me out. I don't mean to brag, but to me, I think I'm sweet, smart, ...

A.   6 December 2011: The other aunt is right, you are very young. Most guys your age aren't interested in asking girls out and having girlfriends. And they shouldn't be. All the want is to flirt with you, talk to you and so on. That's part of the fun at your age. ... (read in full...)

FWB troubles..he doesn't want me seeing other guys but he doesn't want a girlfriend. How do I handle this?

Q.   Hi, well the thing is typical friends with benefits story... i was seeing a guy for sex and we have both fallen for each other. Well at least I think. I've known this guy for 6 months we slept together for the first time 3 months ago and sinc...

A.   6 December 2011: You should leave him alone and find someone who is proud to call you his girlfriend. Committment issues? That's a load of BS! You just watch, when a girl he really wants comes on the scene he'll suddenly forget his committment issues. I belie... (read in full...)

To contact or not? How long to wait? Guys are confusing!

Q.   Friday night (about midnight) I met up with a female friend from out of town who was out on an internet date with a guy at a bar. There was another guy hanging out with them when I arrived. He was nice, quiet, a little more reserved (much like my ...

A.   6 December 2011: It's not confusing, it's very simple. He was taken by you that night, he was attracted and so he flirted with you. The next day came and all those feelings were gone. Why? Who knows. He probably doesn't know either. So: should the girl wait an... (read in full...)

I feel so used and don't understand what is going on

Q.   So to make a long story short. Met one night 7 months ago. Been talking and hanging out ever since. One day, he just stopped talking to me. For two weeks I tried to pretend I didn't care, but one night, my emotions got the best of me and I contacted ...

A.   1 December 2011: You're not doing anything wrong, this guy just isn't interested in you the way you are interested in him. And no, the hanging out will not lead to a relationship. There's no point at all in 'confronting' him about it. He doesn't see you ... (read in full...)

I want him to go back to the way he was when we first met!

Q.   just wondering if anyone here can offer me any advice cause I'm at a complete loss. been with my bf for over three years, one of those years was long distance. I'm far better educated than him - to MA level - while he barely has his leaving cert ...

A.   17 October 2011: You have a man who blames you for his failures, a man who doesn't respect you and a man who is starting to become abusive and violent towards you. So what if your father thinks that he's the son he never had? So what if you get along with his moth... (read in full...)

Should I leave my boyfriend or am I overreacting?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. And we are about to buy our own house. He takes care of me etc..i don't know if all guys are like this or just him. I need to know if I'm making the correct decision. Anything sets him off when things ...

A.   17 October 2011: I don't think you're overreacting. You have picked up some 'red flags' which naturally you're worried about considering you're about to make a big leap in your relationship. I can't tell from your post whether you live with your boyfriend or if yo... (read in full...)

I'm scared and unsure what to do. The guy thinks I'm not into it!

Q.   So I am hooking up with this guy but really I do not know what I am doing. I really like him and he feels the same way too, but still. He's experienced and I feel scared. We tried to get it in but I couldn't take it. I'm completely lost and he said ...

A.   17 October 2011: I think you're fooling yourself here. You're young, he's experienced and you're scared. No wonder nothing happens! Perhaps take the time to get to know him a bit before hooking up with him. Maybe this is your body's way of telling you to slow dow... (read in full...)

I'm desperate for advice about my boyfriend and his priorities!

Q.   This is going to be super long, but i really need some advice and i really appreciate any one who takes the time to read this and reply. I've had a boyfriend(C) for about three months now. he's my first serious boyfriend. He's been doing some ...

A.   17 October 2011: Sorry, meant to say overreacting :)... (read in full...)

I'm desperate for advice about my boyfriend and his priorities!

Q.   This is going to be super long, but i really need some advice and i really appreciate any one who takes the time to read this and reply. I've had a boyfriend(C) for about three months now. he's my first serious boyfriend. He's been doing some ...

A.   17 October 2011: No, you are not reacting. You want more than he can give you. And you should want a lot more! You have a guy who is unreliable and irresponsible. If everything you say in this post is true I don't understand why you're still with him. You're d... (read in full...)

Tricked by a man - again!

Q.   What is going on with me ? I have just been totally tricked yet again.I have had my fair share of life lessons regarding relationships but seem more naive than I have ever been. I met a guy who I thought really liked me .he seemed so genuine and we ...

A.   23 August 2011: The way to know who is genuine and who isn't is to give them time to show their true colours. You said you met twice. I don't know what happened, but meeting someone twice is nowhere near enough time to know what they're about. Next time, ta... (read in full...)

I fear that I may be wasting my time if my partner waits any longer to make commitment. HELP!

Q.   I have been with my partner now for almost 3 years (on and off). About 6 months ago I left him for 3 months then gave the relationship another try, I did truly miss him and my heart did linger for him only. He is 38 years old and I am 24, I live ...

A.   16 August 2011: You say "I am always making it known that I will not stick around and wait forever for him to get into gear with taking this relationship to the next level." Words are just that, words. He's not going to believe you unless you act on them. ... (read in full...)

What kind of immature cop-out is the "the chase"?

Q.   Why can't guys have honest, loving relationships? Are they not man enough to have them? If I care for a guy, why do I have to play coy and hard to get for his attention? Mind-games are disrespectful and hurtful. If he doesn't want the comfort, ...

A.   16 August 2011: You're putting all men in one category here and that's not the way to do it. I've met guys who played the game and lost. I've also got a great boyfriend who's far from any of the generalizations you make here. You may have been hurt in the past... (read in full...)

Would you pursue a forbidden relationship just because he is your astrological match?

Q.   Do you believe that there are people who astrologically are meant to meet each other? (not necessarily stick together forever) You might find astrology silly, but it shows that there are people who will eventually find each other, no matter the ...

A.   16 August 2011: Hitler was an Aries too... YouWish offers you great advice. If you've got any self respect you'd let this man go, fast!... (read in full...)

Why can’t I just think YES - for better or worse – if the man I love starts talking about marriage?

Q.   My boyfriend is divorced with one child. When I met him I didn’t want to date him (he approached me first) because I prefer men who have not been married before, as I have not been married before. I had never dated a divorced guy before him so the ...

A.   12 August 2011: Sorry I meant to say 'daughter' not son. Oops... (read in full...)

Why can’t I just think YES - for better or worse – if the man I love starts talking about marriage?

Q.   My boyfriend is divorced with one child. When I met him I didn’t want to date him (he approached me first) because I prefer men who have not been married before, as I have not been married before. I had never dated a divorced guy before him so the ...

A.   12 August 2011: I think you're being smart. You've got a clear head and are looking at all this realistically. You're at a point where you have to make a tough decision. Stay with him and possibly get married, which comes with all the baggage. Or leave and see ... (read in full...)

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