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*elpjayne agony aunt


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*elpjayne's profile:

i like to give advice to people

i'm far from being in any way perfect

i have been through quite a bit which i hope i can relate to people about.

i have kool boyfriend

i live in the u.k

and i really like this website because one comment off someone you don't even know can make you feel better about everything.

i don't believe anybody has the right to judge me

i make up my own mind and i do not follow the rules of what is and isn't socially acceptable. i don't believe anyone has the right to tell me how to live my life but i like it when people share similar experiences with me.

1234Next > [4 pages, 108 answers]

I've lied to him about my real age...

Q.   Hi, I've been going out with this guy for 4 months now but we have liked each other for a year now he loves me so much and we have been through so much together, I can't imagine my life without him. I love him so much I've sort of pushed my friends ...

A.   23 November 2008: come clean. just tell him that your really a tad younger and it's perfectly legal in this country so long as your 16 or over, you need to tell him. i'm sure if he loves you or likes you the age won't matter but from personal experience one day your ... (read in full...)

My husband's father repeatedly raped me, he's just found out about it and he's heartbroken!

Q.   I have a huge problem. I have been repeatedly sexually abused throughout my childhood and adulthood. I have a husband that just wants to take care of me. His father raped me and made me continue to have sex with him by threatening me. I did not tell ...

A.   23 November 2008: I feel so sorry for you, no one ever has the right to take your dignity away how dare he. Get him arrested for what he's done, but I think you should write your husband a letter if you can't tell him face to face, just explain what feelings and ... (read in full...)

Why are we always arguing?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and we argue a lot, we have finished like 3-4 times for like a week or two but we finished today well this morning and like when we finish he always says horrible stuff like he doesn't want to get ...

A.   23 November 2008: Maybe if you're always begging for him back and stuff, it's the only thing that he knows will hurt you when your mad. next time he says were over tell him to text you when he's calmed down it will be one way of getting less stressed. you need to ... (read in full...)

I can't seem to get the rhythm going when I have sex...

Q.   Hey. I'm just getting to the point now with my boyfriend where we're probably gonna have sex. I've done it before but am nowhere near as experienced as he is. The first time I had sex, and another time since, whenever I've gone on top, it's bee...

A.   23 November 2008: don't go on top when your not used to having sex because it's so much harder, he's the more experienced let him do the work. then once you have done it a couple of times, get your boyfriend to hold your waist so he is pulling you on to him so he's ... (read in full...)

Something "special" for my birthday........

Q.   My girlfriend said she wanted to give me something "special" for my birthday which is in a week and when I went to her house she had left her computer on so I checked some websites and while on google I typed in the search bar and some searches said ...

A.   23 November 2008: If it happens sit back and enjoy!!! It's your birthday bj! you don't have to do any work x ... (read in full...)

We had a fine "overly friendly friendship", then all of a sudden he turned around and now says he wants nothing to do with me! What is going on?

Q.   in confused! so there is this guy and we had been good friends for a year, and for that whole year he tried his hardest not to like me. then one night everything happened and we ended up starting in what we call an overly friendly friendship. and ...

A.   23 November 2008: write him one more letter. you were like the only other girl in his life he has ever trusted and your maytes go and spread rummours he probably got too close to you and now he's hurt and he didn't wana be. i think you should deffinatly write him a ... (read in full...)

It hurts so much when being fingered, what's wrong??

Q.   I've been fingered a few times and each time it hurts and thats only with one finger! Trying two fingers hurt too much and one doesn't even feel good, i can't tell that its in or not. is something wrong?...

A.   23 November 2008: you might have thrush? or your not relaxing alot does your partner play with your clit before he fingers you if your not lubricated it can hurt. or if you get all nervous and your not relaxing sometimes you can be really tight, i think you should ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for a 13 yr old to date a 19 yr old?

Q.   Is it wrong for a 13yo girl to be dating a 19yo guy that lives over seas? I love him to death, but i want other peoples point of view. No my parents dont know about him-im not supposed to date. I have been with some one that was didnt work ...

A.   23 November 2008: as it's overseas it's not like terrible because the chances of you meeting this guy are kinda slim as i doubt your parents would allow you too. the thing is your 13 say if you were 16 and he was 19 that would be ok but at 13 he's guna take advantage ... (read in full...)

Improve Image Or Relationship?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months. We love eachother very much and have just finished school, and no, we haven't had sex, and we don't plan to for a very long time. This is my first relationship but this is her third because ...

A.   23 November 2008: your relationship but if she really truly doesn't mind it then you should go for it if you wana. i mean a kiss with a stranger don't ever mean as much as with someone you've loved for ages. this is guna be one of them things that you and her will ... (read in full...)

After our first date he said he'd text me - should I wait for his call or initiate it myself?

Q.   hi i went out on a date with this guy it was our first date, but i've been left with a confused feeling i don't know how he feels maybe you could help! during the date he kept asking questions getting to know me better, he even said its abou...

A.   23 November 2008: if you can wait 3 days!!! if nothing has happend send him a text saying hey and how is he. but i'm pretty sure if he likes you he'l make the first move some guys are slower than others and wait a week. x ... (read in full...)

I told him I want to wait but he carries on asking me. Is he desperate for sex?

Q.   Well av bin with my boyfriend a few months now. He is a virgin and so am I, he is always asking me if I wanna trade v's with him, I mean I do but I want to wait so its special i have already told him this but he carries on asking me. Is he desperat...

A.   23 November 2008: He just wants to try everything now like most guys his age! tell him that your not guna change your mind about this and you want to feel entirely ready before anything goes any futhur, if he carries on then get rid i mean you don't want to feel ... (read in full...)

Shall I do the sexual stuff and hope for the best?

Q.   My boyfriend is always asking me if we want to do sexual things(Not sex!) He has not done things like this before, i have with my previous relationships and they all ended, i want to stay with my boyfriend i have got now and i want to do stuff wi...

A.   23 November 2008: tell him that your worried, tell him that your other boyfriends have ended things after you have done sexual things with them and you don't want the same to happen. i'm sure that way he'l understand and be a tad more sensitive and not rush you into ... (read in full...)

My husband is obsessed with a threesome - but even the guy he wants it with thinks it's a bad idea!

Q.   Recently my husband has become obsessed with having a MMF threesome after reading various magazines and online sites about it, and he insists we should have it as it will make our marriage stronger. He also wants me to sleep with his best friend ...

A.   22 November 2008: don't feel pressured into a threesome cause your husband wants to see you get hot with his mate. tell him you've asked his mayte privately and he agrees that it would be awkward. i mean your husbands not the only guy who likes mmf but it should be ... (read in full...)

I'm the one getting called all the names and he gets away scot free!

Q.   I slept with my ex a few weeks ago and his girlfriend found out and split up with him. She asked me if it was true and I told her it was. Now my ex won't talk to me because I didn't deny it for him. He text me calling me a slag and I haven't spoken ...

A.   20 November 2008: you could try explaining to the girl i don't suggest you do this in person but send her a message saying that your really sorry and you didn't purposely mean to hurt her but it was not you that was doing all this. as for that guy he sounds horrid ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is so selfish when it comes to us sexually.

Q.   My boyfriend is so selfish when it comes to us sexually. We've been together a year and a half now, and recently he's been asking me to spice it up a bit with how I do uno stuff with him.. But he has never once or gone down on me or properly...

A.   20 November 2008: 69! It benefits you both or just say you give me a little something and I might return it. Make sure you get what you want to. It's not fair that he always gets to have the fun and then has the cheek to say that you should spice things up. Just ... (read in full...)

I feel I can't give him anything he has not already had, what can I do to feel better about myself?

Q.   i am looking for advice preferably from other women. i have been with my partner 1 1/2 years,he has two kids from a previous relationship. we love each other dearly. my problem is, when i think of us having kids (he's happy to have another)i cant ...

A.   20 November 2008: he loves you he's never had a child with you before has he. you love him and he loves you thats what matters a child isn't just something people have as a new experience it's an expression of love and this is guna be your baby your guna be raising ... (read in full...)

She says she was forced into oral, but is there more to it?

Q.   alright, so my girlfriend told me recently that the reason she doesn't go down on me all too often is because she had a bad experience with it once. she said she was forced to do it by a big, aggressive guy she was kind of seeing after a break up...

A.   19 November 2008: let it lay in the past. if you love her then don't go digging up her past. no offence when i say this but it's her past, she's been honest with you and even if she hasn't so what it doesn't effect you unless you love getting oral that much then sit ... (read in full...)

I want to tell her I love her but don't know how.

Q.   I want to tell the girl i love that i love her but i am finding it hard,what do i do.pls help...

A.   19 November 2008: just go for it, don't be scared lifes too short, she's probably waiting for the words and if she's not she'l say it back when shes ready, if you can't physically say it text it or do it some other way i mean it depends she could take offence to that ... (read in full...)

How can I possibly be this happy after all the mistakes and bad choices I made?

Q.   I am having trouble forgiving my sexual past and its eating me up inside. I have slept with 12 guys - only 6 of them were relationships - out of the others I was completely drunk and/or believed that we would end up having a relationship. All these ...

A.   19 November 2008: i've made the same bad mistakes. and had them so called friends that use you and you think whynot at the time because you just want some attention and someone to be there at the end of the day. but it's good you know that them people aint sticking ... (read in full...)

What really turns a guy on during sex?

Q.   What really turns a guy on during sex? i really wanna please my bf anything i can do to him? wear? say? we both enjoy it but i wanna spice things up and surprise him with something that will give him a spark :] help and advice pleasee!!!...

A.   18 November 2008: scratching his back or talking dirty can help also most guys i've been with like it when i bite their neck and moan their name. oo and my boyfriend like it when i put my legs over my head its deeper but you have to be a tad flexible.... (read in full...)

During sex I like to be on top, but he likes to be in control... where is our happy medium?

Q.   do guys prefer to be on top or for a girl to ride them? for me personally i like to be on top but he prefers to be in control how can we do both at the same time?...

A.   18 November 2008: Try reverse cowgirl. That way he's holding you from behind so he's the one in control, plus his hands are pulling you onto him. x ... (read in full...)

I love my husband, but since having our children, I've lost my sex drive. Please help.

Q.   I am a 27 yr old mother of 2 awesome boys (5 and 2). Since having my kids i have lost my sex drive. This problem is ruining my life and my 8 yr relationship with my husband. I feel really bad because he thinks that i do not love him or am not attr...

A.   16 November 2008: get a baby sitter for the weekend! 1 day to relax so you can go for a meal and relax and well rested the next for fun go buy yourself a sexy outfit and stop being mommy for the day, you should take atleast one night out for you and your husband and ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I are having some sex problems.

Q.   Me and my boyfriend are having sex problems. When we have sex he tends not to get a "boner" and when he sticks it in it just falls out and its both frustrating for me and him because it just happens over and over till i get tired of it and we stop. ...

A.   16 November 2008: go the doctors and they will get him some pills for this, i imagine this is very stressful if he takes a pill within half an hour you'l have a big smile on your face, there are alot of pills out they all cost a bit of money but in the long run it's ... (read in full...)

Does this make me a lesbian?

Q.   This is gonna be one long winded question, so yeah! Anyway, I'm currently seventeen. I've been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years. When I was young (about 9-10) I used to have the biggest crushes on boys, and it's been that way forever. ...

A.   16 November 2008: it might be curiousity im open minded and i have always loved boys but girls can be really sexy too and can turn me on just as much, it's probably the unknown for you when you were younger boys and sex was the unknown now you've experienced that ... (read in full...)

He can no longer cum through just vaginal intercourse.

Q.   I've had a boyfriend for about 6 months and he can no longer come through vaginal intercourse. When we first started having intercourse he would come every time, but now he only comes through oral sex. I'm glad I can still make him cum at least.. ...

A.   16 November 2008: surely this is more fun for you right? i reckon you shud try lots and lots of positions the right one will feel really good for him. talking dirty sometimes helps, but maybe you should just ask him why he doesn't anymore maybe he's worried abou... (read in full...)

Dear Cupid I need help badly..

Q.   Dear Cupid, I need help. I have meet this man whom I thought I could have a relationship with, how very wrong I was... after 3 weeks into the relationship he told me he was married with 3 children, he told me he plans to leave his wife after xmas,...

A.   16 November 2008: okay well, the after xmas thing could be an excuse my advice is sit it out, xmas isn't that far away, but if your not madly in love with him and haven't been seeing him for a while tell him to piss off you don't deserve to be lied to how dare he put ... (read in full...)

How do I get him to cum on me?

Q.   Is it wierd for a girl my age (18) to be thinking about her bf "finishing on her"?.... lately I've been thinking about this A LOT after I gave him head, the first time he wanted to cum in privacy and I didn't think of it much but now I really want ...

A.   16 November 2008: A lot of people like to be ejaculated on, and most of the guys I've met love to be all dom, it's not weird at all and it's not a phase I don't think, and I bet he would really like it too, I think it's that you wanna be really dirty. You should try ... (read in full...)

Ladies - if you fancy a guy do you talk to him loads or find yourself tongue-tied?

Q.   Hello! I'll keep this brief since there are far more important and interesting questions on this web-site for you to focus on, but I was just wondering that if a woman fancies a guy then generally speaking does she A) talk to him much more than ...

A.   16 November 2008: it depends, sometimes theres a really really awkward silence and you don't know what to say so you just smile and laugh. but i've learnt the art of rambling on too much when i get really nervous and i talk really fast and giggle way too much. if she ... (read in full...)

What do I do and how do stop behaving like some clinging, needy female.

Q.   Please help. I have met a man I have fallen for in a big way. It started as an affair, yes he's married. I don't think I'm a fling, my gut feeling tells me that. He tells me he is deeply unhappy, they don't sleep together, she has no interest in him ...

A.   16 November 2008: it was wrong to get in this deep at the begining but it's happend now, you can either look at it 2 ways that he has no intention of leaving her and your just good sex or he has truly been unhappy for ages and he cares alot for you. i think yo... (read in full...)

Can a Straight guy have interest in kissing/making out with other guys??

Q.   Just a little question that im interested in peoples' opinions on - ESPECIALLY MEN. Okay, can a straight guy be interested in kissing/making out with another guy? I personally think that no straight guy can have interest in doing that, but...

A.   16 November 2008: I think it's a curiousity thing like women sometimes make out with other women but are completely straight. I think straight guys do it in a non serious way, they just want to try to see what it is like. Some guys like girls do it to turn the othe... (read in full...)

Help - my older step brother wants to have sex with me!!!

Q.   Hey, I'm 15, umm last night I was looking after my little brother and my younger sister who were both upstairs sleeping. I came downstairs to wait until my dad and step mum got home and my older brother (17) was watching tv so I decided to watch it ...

A.   16 November 2008:  NO means no, he had no right to do what he did, and you make me so sad when you said you were guna shout but you didn't wana wake anyone up. If that happens again shout, it's your body, your rules, he can't just get what he wants off you through ... (read in full...)

He's going to jail for 3 months. Should I wait for him???

Q.   Hey! Me and my boyfriend have been together for a month now and we care about each other a lot. But he is going to go to jail for about 3 months and he wants me to wait for him. I want to wait for him but I'm afraid I might get over him just lik...

A.   16 November 2008: Find a guy that doesn't get into trouble? if you really like him and you think he's really good to you what's 3 months you can spend 3 month's with your friends having fun, or maybe you could suggest an open relationship while he's in jail just to ... (read in full...)

What makes a guy attractive?

Q.   Hello, I just have a quick question, sorry if it sounds ignorant. I have tried to figure this out, but I have failed. What makes a guy physically attractive? I know that it's really the personality and all, but being attractive doesn't hurt, so I ...

A.   16 November 2008: I like smile and eyes and torso and sometimes back. I think though when your with someone you really like as a person he could be not that attractive and you'd still think he was gorgeous and wana kiss him constantly oooh nice hair is always good ... (read in full...)

Do guys like a girl thats into cars and video games?

Q.   Do guys like a girl thats into video games, and fixing up cars? I'm curious cuz I'm into cars and video games. I've been helping my dad fix the 68Galaxiy. Also doing co-op with him on new games. Answers from anyone would be nice....

A.   16 November 2008: some guys like it because they feel that they can truly relax with a girl that is into the same stuff as them, but others will just see you as a friend and always see you as one because your not girly enough. it depends on the guy your intrested in ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't talk to me because I refuse to have sex, what should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend wants to have sex and I dont because hes not willing to wear a condom. If we're alone he'll pull me close, kiss me we usually start to make out and take off our (just a shirt or something) clothes and he'll try to remove my bra (Im ...

A.   16 November 2008: it wasn't to harsh it's your body if it hurts you then he's not really expressing his love for you is he. you deserve better anyone does than that. go find someone that takes there time getting to love every inch of your body. x ... (read in full...)

Caught my daughter masterbating

Q.   I caught my daughter masturbating at her room with a dildo,and she was orgasming, she then noticed me and went to the bathroom crying. What should I tell her?...

A.   16 November 2008: tell her not to be embarassed about it and everyone does it. and then tell her you won't mention it again! if you don't say anything she might be thinking that you think she's disgusting and stuff so don't say alot and then end the conv... (read in full...)

Should I take an antibiotic to treat or help my unknown infection?

Q.   I have went to the doctor and i was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. I had to take two pills a day for three days. I had to take six pills in total.But after I was through with the pills my stomach started hurting. During the time I was ...

A.   16 November 2008: you can get this type of infection right before your period i suffered from it recently, you should take the full course of the antibiotics that the doctor gave you thrush is very comon also before your period which might be the foul smell, i'm sure ... (read in full...)

Any pranks to play on my brother? Please help me

Q.   I hate my brother. Hes younger than me, but bigger. Fatter. He cant move fast but he throws a mean punch. Mainly at me. For years I have been putting up with it, I have to, my parents dont believe me. Infact recently my dad forgot my 16th birthday a ...

A.   15 November 2008: You could take away his PS3 games, all of them and hide then behind your CD's in your cases but I really think your parents are being really unfair. Sit them down an tell them that you're sick of this and if it happens again you will call social ... (read in full...)


Q.   Hey Everyone!! I need some help. Tomorrow I am going to a friends house, i have reciently started going out with a girl. She will be there and it will be the first time we have seen eachother since i asked her out. Tomorrow we will maybe kiss. I'm ...

A.   15 November 2008: ok hug and sit close to her and then kiss her softly on the lips and if she respondes open your mouth a little and kiss her if she opens her mouth slide your tongue in just a little bit and if she doesn't respond pull it out if she respondes then ... (read in full...)

What can I do to boost my nerves before it's too late and he's gone?

Q.   What do I do? I am in love with this guy who loves me too, only I don't have the nerves to tell him I love him too and I can feel him slipping away but I just don't have the guts to admit I love him as much as he tells me he loves me. What can I do ...

A.   14 November 2008: Talk to him tell him that it's hard for you to open up but that doesn't mean that you feel any less for him than what he feels for you and that you want to say it but you don't want to get hurt. be honest with him, if he really loves you he won't ... (read in full...)

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